Disclaimer: These characters all belong to many others including JK Rowling. They do not belong to me.
Power in All Its Glory
Chapter 17: An Unexpected Discovery
Hermione felt herself melt against him. She knew he was trying to punish her. He seemed very angry. There was a part of her that was indignant at the way he was treating her.
The rest of her, however, needed this. She needed to feel him against her, feel his kisses. She had waited so long for this.
He pushed her roughly against the wall as he explored her mouth. Just as suddenly, he dragged himself away from her.
"Why?" he whispered, his voice ragged.
Hermione didn't have an answer. She wasn't even sure of the question. All she wanted to do was pull him toward her again; to avoid another stream of hateful words.
"Tell me why?" Her silence seemed to grate on him, and he shook her again to emphasize his point. Although Hermione felt as if this was indeed his intention, she had no idea what point he was trying to make. She was lost; lost in his raw emotions, lost in her confused feelings.
She continued to stare at him in confusion, her mouth parted in anticipation. Of what, she wasn't sure. He could have kissed her again or struck her. At this point, given his mood, neither would have really surprised her.
Snape glared fiercely at her, searching for answers to barely asked questions. He knew she was toying with him, using him.
When he looked in her eyes however, he found confusion, hurt, and innocence.
No! It couldn't be. She had to be lying … deceiving him. She had to be in league with Black. The alternative was …
He closed his eyes. He long hair falling over his face. His breath was shaky as he tried to sort out his turbulent thoughts.
"Professor?"
He did not open his eyes.
"Quiet, Miss Granger," he muttered in a low threatening voice.
He needed to control his thoughts, his emotions, so that he could make sense of it all.
The threat in his voice registered with Hermione, but she had so many questions. Nothing was making sense. And the one person who was supposed to assist her in finding those answers was generating even more questions by his actions. Hermione was never one to back down from a question. She was unable to leave it alone. Even when she knew she should.
"Professor, please, I …"
"Will you please, for once in your life, remain silent!" he exclaimed tersely.
Suddenly he opened his eyes, and she was lost in a dark pool of emotions. She wasn't sure what she saw there. Nothing up to now could have prepared her for such intensity.
Fear, anger, desire …
He unexpectedly let go of her, breaking the connection.
"Go. Now!" he ordered hoarsely.
She tried to touch his arm, but he flinched away from her.
"I said to leave, Miss Granger."
Hermione started to argue. After all why should she leave? He could easily walk away if he wanted. She also had so much she wanted to discuss with him. Everything Black had told her tonight.
Snape was such a bloody git!
In the end she turned and walked away without a word.
She didn't need his help. She would figure it out on her own. He could rot in his dungeons for all she cared.
Once her footsteps were no longer audible, he turned to leave. His robes billowed behind him as he retreated to the sanctuary of his dungeons.
His mind raced as he determinedly walked to his rooms.
She had to be lying. She had planned this all with Black. He knew she had to be involved with not only Draco Malfoy but Neville Longbottom as well!
The absurdity of his thoughts struck him. She was an innocent. He knew this. He could see it in her eyes, feel it in her kiss.
It was this realization that tore at him. It wasn't her. It couldn't be.
That meant it had to be him.
He was tormenting himself. The thought of Black and the others were all inventions of his tortured mind.
But why?
The answer was there … waiting for him but he would not, could not give it credibility. It was too much. It could not be true.
But he knew it was. He could not deny it.
The irony of it was enough to make him run though the halls of Hogwarts laughing hysterically.
Miss Granger had declared her love for him. Yet she did not possess the knowledge, the experience to know what it meant to love someone. She had no idea what it was like to be willing to sacrifice everything, including your life, for someone else. She felt nothing more than a passing infatuation for him and yet her immature and innocent feelings had been the catalyst for this situation they now found themselves in. (He was sure of it, even if he had no idea who had orchestrated it.) Now fate was playing with them, teasing them. For while Miss Granger had yet to know the intense, consuming power and weakness that came from loving someone completely, she had managed to invoke those very feelings in him. And when she moved on, which of course she would, he would be left alone once more. In place of the grumpy, old Potions master, there will be only pieces left. Each deformed in some way so that they no longer fit together, without her.
Even as he dismissed all the romantic drabble coursing through his mind, he knew he could not escape it. He had no way to purge these feelings.
In that moment the Potions master took over. In his logical way he took it out and scrutinized it, like a finished potion. He examined it for all its impurities and analyzed the resulting data.
He did not like it. He wished he could change it. It would make his life even more miserable. But it was there and he knew what he had to do. He accepted it.
He loved her.
