This chapter written by Baby Cougar.
Someone, somewhere, at some point requested a visit to a nursing home. AHA. Way early in the review list, we have the request for Gaara to work at an elderly retirement home by Boneyboy and Curleyblue. I'd also like to mention that the roads are icy in this chapter because it was still winter when I started writing it. Woot for muse death.
Chapter 17: A Visit to the Old Folk's Home
"Okay, Gaara! You'll have fun on this trip. It's relaxing to be with old people. They fawn over you and shower you with goodstuffs because they'll never be young again, and all their children have grown up and don't care anymore!"
Gaara just blinked at me. He didn't seem too thrilled of the idea. Maybe he remembered Granny Chiyo? That old geezer gave her life for him. He probably had nightmares for a long time. You know, on those rare occasions when he slept. So, here we were, doubling up on a bicycle (My driving hadn't proved to be much better than his, sadly, and he wouldn't drive, either, so we took the bike, him pedaling with me on the pegs giving directions. Hell yes. Good thing the roads were completely clear on not icy today.), on our way to the Pleasant Meadows nursing home. Turning the corner after I figured out where we were, we set off again.
It only took a few more minutes to get to our destination, since Gaara turned out to be a pedal-devil. He hit the brakes, and we had flipped over the bike, shooting into a snow bank. What fun! After brushing ourselves and eachother off, we walked into the nursing home. Essentially, that's when the chaos began.
"Plunky!"
Gaara and I looked at eachother, an unsaid question being shared between us. 'Plunky...?' Immediately, out of nowhere, a walker collided into me, shoving me out of the way. I thudded on the ground, rubbing the site of impact and looking up. A lady who looked to be in her eleventybillion-ties had attached herself to Gaara's head, whose eyes were staring to bug.
"Plunky, oh, Plunky! You've come back to me, child! Oh, Plunky, I knew this day would come!"
Gaara clawed at the elderly woman.
"Cougar! Get her off! She smells like old people! D:"
I, however, could not help him. I was too busy laughing at this elderly woman who dare become a head ornament for Gaara of the sand, and call him "Plunky" of all things. Oh, the humanity. One of the CNAs came running, and he apologized heavily to the male teen as he pried the woman off. I finally regained my compusure and handed back the walker. Dearie me, what a traumatizing experience. Hope he survives through the visit. I tugged on his gourd, pulling him backwards up a hall.
"Gaara! Let's check it out!"
He tore from my grip, straightened his gourd, and looked right at me.
"This place had better be worth it, Cougar."
I purred. "I could have brought the pink dress we got to keep~"
He blanched, before stalking past me. Oho, mister halfass stoic and silent today? Did that woman suck out Plunky's life force? I frolicked after him, taking the lead since I'd been here before. We went into the dining hall, and there was a baby grand piano on a stage in there. I sat down on the bench and twiddled away at the keys, and Gaara's flame red hair caught the attention of the patrons in the hall.
"Pluuuuuuuuuunkyyyy!"
"Oh dear GOD no."
Apparently Gaara had no tolerance for elderly people. Thinking quick, I whittled off the ivory with my fingertips, playing a melody he know. He backed up to the bench, setting his gourd at the foot of it. Moving quickly, I kicked it over, making the sand spill and 'splash' all about. He whirled about, about to give me a piece of his mind, I'm sure, before I started singing, egging him to perform.
"Cou-"
"Mr. Sandman! Bring me a dream! Make him the cutest that I've ever seen! Give him the word that I'm not a rover~" I brought up my hand like a paw and winked at him, and he growled when I tugged his sleeve before hitting the next chord. The old people seemed to be enjoying themselves, with a few cries of 'Plunky!' in the background. "Then tell him that his lonely nights are over~"
"Cougar...!" I drowned him out with a slinky voice.
"Mr. Sandman, I'm so alone~ Don't have nobody to call my own~" Going a capella for a moment, I reached and grabbed a fistfull of sand and flung it in the air like glitter. "Please turn on your magic beam, Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream!"
He stared at me. "Bring you a dream? How's this?" Fisting his hand, he called the sand up, it swirled around, then moved as a solid mass and collided with me, knocking me straight off the bench on onto the floor with a thud. The room filled with elderly snickers.
"...Oof."
After wandering around some more and entertaining the wannabe-zombi– I mean, old folk, she appeared again. I SWEAR that woman used to be a ninja. After grabbing her sweet "Plunky", I followed her as she dragged Gaara off to a little bench in the... courtyard, I guess? It was pretty well shoveled, so I sat on a different bench and played with the snow for a bit, only catching bits and pieces of their conversation with my back turned to them.
"...and then it was like he was here again, oh my Plunky, you wouldn't believe...." I packed the snow into a nice snowball. "...but then it was all over in the spring of '82 when he finally told me that..." Yes, preparations for a miniature Gaara-snowman were on their way. "...By no means did that mean that I wasn't in love with him, oh no boy, I loved him with all my heart, of, and how beautiful his eyes..." Plucking a twig, I started shaping the snowball in my hand for Gaara's face. "...you had to put your own chips in the cookies back in my day, kids these days have it so easy!..."
The rambling went on for about ten minutes more before I heard a sickening crunch and a very wet sound. I turned around, horrified, to see that Gaara had laid waste to the was sand still mixed in with her wounds, and she said nothing more. Deeeaaaad. "Shit, let's get out of here." Using his ninja powers, Gaara got us out of that place in a flash and back to the bike. I should have known, I should have known. "Well, Gaara, what do you have to say for yourself this time?" He reproahed with a hateful look.
"Plunky was her dog."
