AN: Special thanks to Tan for letting me throw ideas at her. Good thing you can duck! Thanks to everyone for all the lovely support.
THE TIES THAT BIND
Chapter 24
THE PURPLE GUY
Hermione was just finishing the paperwork on her last patient. An elderly wizard named Findley Nimbleknot. The ornery old codger was famous for pinching young witches on the bum. This time, however, he pinched the wrong witch.
Ginny Weasley.
The old wizard was hit with a bat bogey hex so fast he couldn't think to apparate away. Instead he did a merry little dance in the middle of town trying to get the creatures away from him. Unfortunately, he'd stumbled and twisted his ankle. He'd managed to hobble to the clinic asking for help.
Hermione had mixed together daisy roots, shrivelfig, caterpillar, rat spleen and leech juice to make a light shrinking solution for his ankle. She'd whispered, "Glacialis" and an ice pack had wrapped itself around his foot. Telling him to keep it wrapped and elevated for a few hours, she sent him through her floo with a pain potion and a stern warning about pinching young witches.
Smirking, she finished the document and placed it in a folder for Dawn to file later. The young woman had talked her older sister into giving her a job while she attended university part time. She wasn't sure what she wanted to do yet, so she figured she'd just take a few classes to see if something caught her interest. She'd even suggested to her sister that she bring the magical world into the new millennium by installing a computer. Hermione had agreed, her face lighting up at the idea of bringing a computer into the clinic for Dawn to use to keep her files straight and what not. Now that she had a generator operating on a self renewing energy spell, she could have all sorts of wonderful gadgets.
She did have the foresight to keep the computer back in the file room out of sight. Merlin only knew how the magical folk would react to the "information box" as Hooch had dubbed it. Minerva had been quite interested. Especially when her young wife had Googled "classic literature". Dawn had taught her "big sister" how to use the mouse. The Animagus' emerald eyes lighting up at the funny word. The older witch had sat at the terminal for hours reading, a look of surprised rapture on her elegant face.
Hermione had created an "Internet Spell" which allowed her to surf the web by pulling signal out of the air and focusing it in a tight whorl of magic directly above the clinic. A simple router did the rest.
This same magical phenomenon allowed the use of cell phones as well. It acted like a cell tower. Because it had a magical signature, Hogwarts allowed the signal through the wards. Hermione's next gift to her wife was an emerald green Blackberry with a rather unique ringtone. Minerva had hissed at her wife after hearing it, then figured out how to set her phone on vibrate. She just didn't know how to change the ringtone...
Yet.
She carried the small device in her robes pocket loving that she was able to speak with Hermione several times a day and didn't have to worry about using owls or the floo. She did not make the knowledge known to the general school population that cell phones now worked at the school however.
She realized that, at first, it would be the muggle born students using the phones. Then when the pure-blood students saw the advantages of having one, they too would have them. The Headmistress didn't want the students texting each other during class. Note passing was bad enough.
Hermione stood from her desk and stretched. Lately her lower back had begun to ache. She knew it was just her body reacting to the two little ones currently doing somersaults in her womb. She patted her stomach with a smile and went to lock the doors for the evening.
Just as she entered the waiting room, a tall blonde wizard entered.
Draco Malfoy.
Jean Granger lay on the cool tiled floor of her examining room. A small set of spanners laid out within easy reach as she set about adjusting her dental chair to the proper height. She also wanted to adjust the angle of the foot rest as well. So absorbed in her work was the lovely dentist that she didn't notice the presence of another person until she reached for a spanner. Her hand came into contact with a booted foot.
Surprised, the elder Granger turned her head to see a black pair of knee high riding boots. Said boots were attached to a set of shapely, muscular legs encased in white trousers. The lovely legs reached into nice womanly curves. Strong hands clad in dragons hide gloves rested on rounded hips. A navy blue tunic covered a muscular torso that sported two softly rounded full breasts. Directly above that was the tanned skin of a neck she was so familiar with.
Jean's mocha eyes dilated as they took in a smiling mouth capped with the most kissable pink lips. A cute nose and piercing yellow eyes glowing with a highly amused expression peered down at her.
"Hey sailor, come here often?" The dentist queried, leaning back on her elbows. A cheeky grin graced her beautiful face.
Rolanda Hooch threw her spiked head back and laughed heartily. She leaned down and extended her hand to her paramour, "What are you doing?"
Jean grinned as she gathered up her tools, "I needed to adjust the height. I was getting a backache leaning over. It's set for Hermione's height not mine." She clasped her hand in Ro's and allowed the powerful witch to pull her to her feet.
Rolanda grinned as she thought of the brilliant, but very short Hermione.
Jean caught her lover's grin and asked, "What?"
The Flying Instructor sat herself in the dentist's chair stretching out comfortably as she replied, "I was just thinking of a very short Hermione and a very tall Minerva." She sniggered as a picture of her close friend bending at the knees to give her love a kiss.
Jean slapped Ro's strong shoulder playfully, "It's not that bad!"
Hooch pulled her lover onto her lap saying, "You know this chair has possibilities."
Running a hand through her shoulder length sandy brown hair, the muggle woman leaned down and placed a searing wet kiss on the lips of her lover, "You have no idea."
"Let's say we find out?"
Hermione stared at her long time nemesis as he strode up to her counter, "Draco Malfoy? What brings you here?"
The white blonde young man looked into the dark eyes of the muggle born and snorted, "I don't want to be seen in London going to a clinic. You and I may have had our differences, but I know one thing. You understand discretion."
Nodding, the young doctor asked, "What seems to be the problem?"
"He's got cooties! That's what's wrong?"
Both young people looked up to see Pansy Parkinson entering the clinic. There was a very stormy expression on her aristocratic face. Pulling her wand, her dark eyes bore into Malfoy's icy grey ones, "You gave me fecking* crabs!"
Hermione's dark eyebrows climbed into her hairline at the statement. She immediately waved her wand casting a containment spell around both young people so whatever they might have didn't jump off and contaminate her or her clinic.
Malfoy frowned darkly as he felt the tingle of magic. He gazed at the young doctor with a stony expression.
"I'm pregnant Draco. If you do have something, I don't want it affecting my babies."
Pansy's eyes widened as Draco gave a surprised grunt, "Pregnant?"
Nodding, the young doctor motioned for the couple to follow her. She put Pansy in one examining room and asked Draco to follow her to another.
After asking him to sit on the examining table, she waved her wand and said, "Diagnosticus!"
Instantly a magical diagnostic chart floated in front of Malfoy. It showed the young doctor a representation of all the young man's vital systems including his magical center. Hermione's chocolate eyes narrowed as she spied tiny red dots in Draco's private area.
"I need you to drop your trousers."
Ice grey eyes widened in surprise, "What? I will not!"
Hermione frowned, "You came to me for help Draco. I see what the problem is, now let me treat you." She kept the tone of her voice firm and steady. She really didn't want to see Draco Malfoy's penis, but sometimes a witch has to do what a witch has to do.... Dammit!
A fierce blush covered young Malfoy from head to toe as he unfastened his trousers and dropped them to the floor.
"The boxers too Draco."
Closing his eyes in utter embarrassment, Draco dropped his silky black boxers.
Hermione tried not to crack a smile at the less than stellar example of male sex organs displayed in front of her. Hell Minerva had him beat! The young healer pointed her wand at a nearby drawer and said, "Accio magnifying glass."
Draco Malfoy frowned indignantly, "That's not funny Granger!"
Shooting her patient a steely look, she replied, "I need to see what's causing these bumps..." She snorted and added, "And the name is McGonagall." Focusing her attention back on his malady, Hermione held the magnifying glass up to the small tuft of platinum blonde hair at the base of his penis. She could see tiny crawling creatures, "Hmmmmm."
"What do you mean by hmmmm?"
Frowning, Hermione replied, "You have an infestation of some kind."
The young man looked stricken and paled, "Oh Merlin!"
The young doctor waved her wand and created a clear bubble which attached itself over the infected area.
Malfoy felt a tickling sensation and tried not to squirm. He couldn't believe that he had.. had.. cooties!
Once the bubble was firmly in place, Hermione again pointed her wand at Draco and muttered, "Accio Cooties!" Instantly the infestation flew off of Malfoy and lodged in the bubble. The chestnut haired witch then placed a confinement spell over the bubble and levitated it to a large petri dish. Sealing it carefully, Hermione placed the container under a large microscope. Peering into the eyepiece, she adjusted the magnification several hundred times, "Hmmmmm."
Draco stood in the center of the room with his trousers and boxers down around his ankles. His tiny penis feeling itchy and sore and all Hermione could say was, "Hmmmm?" He scrunched up his nose and asked in a whisper, "What's hmmmm?" He watched as the young witch made a few notes, then walked to a nearby book shelf. Pulling down a tome entitled, "Medical Infestations", the doctor began thumbing through the pages. Finally she found what she was looking for.
"Ah Ha!"
Raising a blond eyebrow, Malfoy asked in a timid voice, "What do I have?"
"Sand Fleas."
Strong hands traced very womanly curves finally coming to rest on her shapely hips. Soft kisses blessed her chest and breasts. The urgency of Ro's kisses increasing as Jean enthusiastically rode her lover's engorged clitoris. Ever since introducing this form of love making to the muggle woman, the couple had engaged in it every chance they got. Now they were having a lovely time in Jean Granger's dentist's chair.
"Oh God... this is soooo good." Jean crooned as Ro's mouth found her hardened coral colored nipple. Teeth nipped gently causing the most delightful sounds to slip from Hermione's mother.
"Mmmmm." Ro growled. The vibrations causing shots of pleasure in Jean. The latter moaning loudly in appreciation, "Uhhh Ahhh!"
Suddenly the door swung open, "Somebody dying in here?" Dawn Granger asked strolling in...
...and stopping in her tracks.
"Uhhhh," Jean mumbled dark eyes widening in surprised mortification.
"Errrr," Dawn stuttered mouth falling open in shock.
"Hello Butterfly!" Ro greeted enthusiastically. As if she wasn't currently deep inside the young woman's mother.
Dawn snapped her eyes closed, turned on her heel and felt for the door. One hand over her eyes, the other searching for the handle. Behind her she could hear the rustling of clothing and whispers.
"Oh my God..."
"Don't worry baby, it'll be alright."
Finding the door, the young woman quickly stepped out into the corridor, snapping the door closed behind her. Taking a deep breath, she gasped, "Oh God! Oh God! I saw my mum having sex! I'm gonna go blind!"
Hermione determined that Pansy also was suffering from sand fleas. She distributed some healing cream to both young people after first removing all the hair from their private regions. Pansy thought it was cool and sexy. Draco, however was gob smacked with embarrassment.
"Look at my knobblies!** I'm bald down there like a child!"
Hermione had turned her head as laughter threatened to erupt. Clearing her throat, she had turned back and stated, "You could make a fortune in porn." She didn't tell him that it would be in gay porn as a "bottom". She didn't think he'd appreciate that. Especially after shooting her a "look" about her porn comment. Instead, she'd simply replied that he would heal quicker like this and it would grow back anyway.
After paying, the young couple left. Hermione distinctly heard Pansy bitching, "You wait till I get my hands on your cousin! I've been using the guest loo and she's the only one who's been in there!"
Eyebrows raised, the young healer wondered just who this doomed cousin was.
"Oh God! Oh God! I saw my mum having sex! I'm gonna go blind!"
Hermione started at hearing her sister's distressed cry. Running from the waiting room, she headed back towards the dental wing to find Dawn screeching like a maniac and holding her hands over her face.
"Whut?"
Dawn looked into her sister's concerned face and was about to answer when the dental examining room door flew open and a very dishevelled Jean followed by a grinning Hooch stepped out.
Hermione's dark eyes narrowed as she noticed the buttons on her mum's blouse were misaligned and Hooch's jumper was on backwards and inside out. With hands on hips, she exclaimed indignantly, "You shagged in the dental chair?"
Jean Granger had never felt like such a teenager in her life. Even when she WAS a teenager! Her youngest child had just walked in on her and her lover and now her eldest daughter who just happened to also be her employer was standing before her looking like an affronted avenging angel.
All she could do was blush.
Ro however did not. She wickedly cackled her mirth and winked at Hermione teasing, "Like you and Min never did it on the exam tables either!"
A memory of just such an event appeared in the young healer's mind. She and her wife enjoying the illicitness of sex on her examination table.
Immediately mother and daughter sported identical fierce crimson flushes to their lovely complexions.
Hooch pecked her lover on the cheek and grabbed Dawn's arm, "Come on Butterfly let's get something to eat I'm starved."
The youngest Granger shot her mother's lover a raised eyebrow, "Have you no shame?"
The Flying Instructor led the young woman into the waiting room saying, "Not where your mother is concerned."
Watching them leave, Jean shook her head and turned to her eldest, "I'm sorry darling. It won't happen again." She really felt like she'd let her daughter down. Frowning, she decided Ro was sleeping on the sofa tonight too.
Hermione cracked a small smile, "Mum I appreciate how you two feel about each other but I had patients here. That was very unprofessional. Minerva and I have.. um blessed.. the exam table, but we did it after hours." She sighed deeply.
Jean nodded, "I understand and you're right. That was way out of line. It won't happen again."
As Hermione was locking up the clinic, she heard a pained cry coming from down the street. Looking up, she saw a bald wizard clad in purple polyester trousers, white shoes & belt, and a lavender colored silk shirt.
The Purple Guy.
Hogsmeade's newest resident. Taking over the running of Honeyduke's while Carl and Anna Honeyduke took an extended holiday. No one really knew too much about the purple guy because he spent most of his time brewing his sweets. She did know that the quality and taste of the sweets had dramatically improved.
The same wizard was making his way towards the young doctor clutching his right hand in his left.
Concerned, the young witch sprinted towards him. Other residents in the area crowding near as she finally reached the poor man, "What happened?" She asked, carefully inspecting his hand.
"I wasn't paying attention and the lemon drops boiled over. Some of it got on me!" The poor man wailed painfully.
Hermione carefully escorted him back to her clinic, "What's your name?"
"Cornelius Honeyduke."
As she opened her clinic door, she gestured for Cornelius to enter first then she followed, locking the door behind her. She noticed that the gentleman spoke with an odd accent. Leading him back to an examination room, she asked, "Are you American?" Patting the exam table she indicated that she wanted him to sit on it.
Gingerly Honeyduke settled his purple clad bum on the table, wincing as the young witch began to examine his wounded hand. He gave the healer a small nod and answered, "I was born in New Jersey. In America."
Honeyduke's hand had been burned quite badly. Nearly all of the top of the hand including the fingers was covered in huge ugly blisters and burned skin. Hermione clucked sympathetically as she waved her wand and whispered an antiseptic cleansing spell.
The confectioner watched as the deadened skin fell away. The young witch was certainly good at her work. He cracked a painful smile and asked, "You're Hermione McGonagall?"
Throwing the injured man a charming smile, Hermione nodded, "How long are you going to be staying in Hogsmeade?" She whispered an accio spell and two small bottles flew off a shelf and over to the table. Grabbing a small black bottle, she uncorked it and handed to Honeyduke, "Drink up, it'll stop the pain."
The man nodded and quickly drank down the medicine. Surprise crossed his jolly face at the cherry flavored taste, "This is good!"
Hermione chuckled, "Potions shouldn't have to taste like crap in order to be effective."
Honeyduke liked this young healer. He liked her a lot!
Next she opened the second bottle and poured a generous amount of a thick, white creamy substance over his injured hand, "This is a Sylvadine potion. It's based on a muggle burn medicine. I think it works much better this way."
The older man had to agree as he immediately began feeling a tingling sensation in his hand, "It tingles."
Smiling, the young witch proceeded to bandage the man's hand giving him strict orders to not go back to his cauldrons tonight or tomorrow for that matter.
"But I have lemon drops simmering!"
Putting a sticking spell on the bandages so they wouldn't unravel, the chestnut haired doctor smiled and stated, "Well, we'll just have to go and turn them off."
The tall American stared at the little witch, his dark chocolate eyes twinkling, "I think you and I are going to be good friends Hermione McGonagall."
"Come on Mr. Honeyduke, let's tend to business."
"Call me Corny. All my friends do."
Albus Dumbledore strolled into Honeyduke's. The smell of fresh lemon drops enticing him like a siren's song all the way from the castle. There was nothing yummier than fresh lemon drops.
There didn't seem to be anyone in the shop though. Raising a bushy white eyebrow, he began to browse the various bins. Occasionally he would sample a piece or two.
A suspicious sounding bump reverberated from beneath his feet followed by gales of delighted laughter. The next sound her heard was foot steps coming up the stairs and Hermione's voice saying, "God look at me! My wife will swear I've been swimming in lemon drops."
A deeper male voice responded, "Wife? You're gay then?"
Dumbledore heard Hermione snigger as she replied, "Oh yes. One look at Minerva and you'll understand why."
The man's voice chuckled as he responded, "I am too."
Albus Dumbledore was all ears.
The door to the lower level opened and Hermione stepped out followed by a tall, bald wizard with thin silver brows and a tiny goatee. He was dressed all in purple and was liberally decorated with lemon drops. Hermione's white lab coat was equally colorful. Dumbledore noticed the tall man's hand was bandaged.
Stepping to the counter, he cleared his throat.
Hermione grinned when she saw the former Headmaster, "Hello. I bet the smell of lemon teased you all the way down here."
The older wizard nodded, strangely silent as his clear blue eyes fastened on the tall American. Hermione noticed his reaction, then turned to see an equal reaction from Corny.
An odd muggle song began to play in Hermione's plotting mind. Stepping closer to Albus, she took his hand and led him over to Corny saying, "Albus Dumbledore may I present Cornelius Honeyduke."
As she headed back towards the clinic, she began a little dance step while singing, "Matchmaker Matchmaker make me a match. Find me a find. Catch me a catch...."
"Well you certainly had an eventful day." Minerva commented as Hermione snuggled close to her on the sofa.
It had been a quiet dinner for the newlyweds. News of the day interspersed with bouts of silent companionship.
Minerva was discovering in her young wife that she was not only her life partner but that the younger woman had become her best friend. Hermione had told her the same thing at various times and now the older witch was discovering exactly what that meant. A deep, rich comfortable closeness had developed between them that had nothing to do with sex. It was soothing to the fierce witch.
She knew her wife was tired and after a day like today, it was a wonder the young woman didn't nod off during dinner. Hermione nodded absently. She was a bit distracted by the idea of sand fleas infesting Draco and Pansy.
Minerva noticed her wife's preoccupation and asked, "What bothers you so?"
Not wanting to breach doctor/patient confidentiality, Hermione sighed and replied, "I had a young couple come in today suffering from sand fleas."
Emerald eyes widened in surprise, "Sand fleas? In Great Britain?"
Chocolate eyes gazed intensely into the crackling fire, "I discovered a magical signature on them."
Minerva's dark elegant eyebrow climbed up her forehead, "Oh?"
Running a weary hand through her unruly locks, the young doctor mused, "They were ordinary sand fleas that had a sort of magical fingerprint on them. I think that the place they came from was magical." She snorted in disgust and added, "I can't seem to trace it though." Nothing ticked Hermione McGonagall off more than not being able to find the answer to a puzzling question.
The Headmistress absently stroked her chin as she pondered her wife's dilemma, "I am not as adept at tracking charms as I used to be, but I bet Filius is."
Both witches stared at each other for a moment, then stood up.
"Let's go find my deputy."
Filius Flitwick listened to Hermione with intense bemusement coupled with a perverse curiosity. "Who was it had the fleas then?" He squeaked with a smirk.
Hermione grinned shaking her head, "Oh no you don't. I'm not breaking a patient's trust."
The little professor looked imploringly up at the Headmistress. The latter shook her head, "She would not tell me either."
Shrugging Flitwick said, "I can cast a tracking spell on practically anything that has a magical signature. Do you have a sample?"
Nodding, Hermione reached into her pocket and pulled out a miniaturized petri dish.
Seeing this, Minerva's eyes widened. With fists on hips, she hissed, "You brought fleas into my castle!"
Hermione shot her wife an exasperated expression, "How else was I going to get my answers? Besides, they're not going anywhere. I have them in a stasis spell."
Unconsciously Minerva scratched behind an ear, "In case you have not noticed. I am a cat. Cats do not do well with fleas."
Hermione frowned, "They're SAND fleas."
"I do not care if they are bloody MOON fleas. We do NOT bring fleas into the castle!"
Flitwick was smirking behind his hand. These two were just too cute! Walking to the center of the room of requirement, he waved his wand in an intricate series of wrist flicks. A blue-green swirl of color appeared coalescing into an elongated shape of the earth. The tiny Charms Professor then moved to Hermione and waved his wand over the petri dish. A golden spark of light jumped off the end of his wand and floated over the magical map. Hovering over it, the light waited as the map scanned the signature contained in the little blob of light.
Faster than the eye could track, the map blurred and narrowed itself. First into hemispheres, then into continents. Finally zooming itself to a tiny speck in the Caribbean. The speck grew into a recognizable shape.
"That's Sanduvall Island!" Minerva exclaimed, her brogue thickening with her surprise. She snorted in disgust and muttered, "How did Ernesto Sanduvall's sand fleas get into Britain and more importantly into my castle?" Unconsciously she scratched her ear again.
Hermione shook her head very puzzled and muttered to herself, "Unless they went to the island and I think that's highly unlikely."
"What if one of us brought them back?"
The young doctor stared up at her wife, "I would think that someone would've been exhibiting symptoms way before now. Don't you?"
It was a true enough statement, both Headmistress and her deputy nodding sagely. The tiny Flitwick suddenly grinning, "I never could resist a good mystery, even if it's about how fleas got to Hogwarts."
Minerva grunted in exasperation as the worrisome itch once again caused her to scratch behind her ear. It just wasn't enough however, so the Headmistress moved a few paces to the left and promptly transformed into her animagus form. The small tabby began to scratch behind her ear. A small blissful sigh escaping from tiny cat lips.
Hermione frowned down at the cat and bitched, "You know that's just all in your head!"
The grey and silver tabby paused in her scratching and indignantly yowled up at her wife.
Later, after Hermione got tired of seeing her wife scratching her ear and pulled her into the shower, the two women snugly lie together in their warm bed. Skin against skin. No sex, just enjoying the closeness.
Minerva slowly ran her fingertips over Hermione's lower belly. Directly over her fast developing children. She smiled as she noticed goosebumps decorating the young woman's beautiful skin.
Hermione had just finished telling her wife about Cornelius Honeyduke causing gales of laughter at the description of Albus' reaction to the new boy in town. Wiping a mirthful tear from the corner of her eye, Minerva asked, "Do you think they hit it off well?"
Hermione sniggered, sat up, cleared her throat and sang, "Matchmaker Matchmaker, make me a match! Find me a find! Catch me a catch!"
Minerva couldn't help herself. For the first time in forty years she did something she didn't think she'd ever do...
She giggled.
-to be continued
AN: * You get the idea... ** Thanks to Ms. Figg for the adorable word.
