"Daddy can we make a cake for mummy?" five year old Nathanial asked Harry as the young boy bounded into the kitchen one morning for breakfast.

"A cake?" Harry asked in confusion and his oldest nodded.

"Yeah, can we daddy?" Theo grinned from next to his older brother "Because she's been sad"

"Why's mummy been sad daddy?" Samuel asked as he finished his breakfast and looked at his father expectantly.

Harry sighed and took the empty bowl away from Thomas and Samuel. He should have known that the boys would know something, they definitely weren't stupid.

"How about we let Nathanial and Theo finish their breakfast and then we sit down and talk about it with mummy. Okay?" Harry asked them, giving them a reassuring smile as he picked up one year old Anthony from his highchair and kissed him on the head.

"Okay daddy" Samuel smiled and hopped down of the chair, running into the living room to play while Harry walked upstairs to change Anthony's nappy.

[]-[]

"Nikki" Harry said softly as he walked into the bedroom to see his wife curled up on top of the bed, her eyes closed. He however knew his wife very well and knew she wasn't asleep.

"Hmm"

Harry climbed onto the bed and Nikki rolled over instantly and draped her arm over his stomach, resting her head on his chest.

"The boys were wondering why you've been upset lately" Harry told her as he gently played with her hair "I said that we will talk about it after breakfast, do you want to be there?"

"Yes" Nikki replied quickly, sitting up and resting her head on Harry's shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on the head. "We'll do it together. The truth?"

"Yes" Harry nodded, kissing her again "Do you want breakfast?"

"Some toast please" Nikki smiled at him "and some coffee"

"I'll let the boys help" Harry chuckled as he climbed out of bed, Nikki couldn't help but giggle and shake her head. "We'll be up soon"

[]-[]

"Mummy why you been sad?" Thomas asked his mother as they all sat on the bed, Nikki munching on her toast and Harry sitting next to her, stealing a bite of her breakfast and earning a glare from his wife. "You poorly?"

"No sweetheart" Nikki shook her head and moved the plate so it was on her bedside table, she then motioned for her children to sit next to her and Harry and then did. Thomas taking pride of place on her lap, Anthony on Harry's as the one year old played with one of his stuffed toys. "Remember a few days ago when mummy and daddy had to go to the hospital and Uncle Leo came and looked after you?"

The boys nodded and Nikki took a deep breath, the memory still raw in her mind. Harry reached over and entwined their hands on the duvet and gave her a reassuring nod.

"Well mummy had a baby in her tummy" Nikki continued and she wanted to cry as the boy's eyes lit up "But, mummy's body thought that it wasn't a good time of us to have another baby just yet" she gave them all a smile and ruffled Thomas' hair gently. "and the baby died" she told them quietly.

"Oh" Theo whispered, glancing at her stomach and then back to her face "Are you okay mummy?"

"I've been sad" Nikki told them and they nodded "But I'm sure my boys can cheer me up"

"Of course we can mummy" Samuel nodded, a grin forming on his face as he hugged Nikki tightly, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. Nikki hugged him to her, burying her face in his shoulder and trying to hold back her tears. She felt Harry squeeze her shoulder gently and turned her head to give him a smile.

[]-[]

"What are you doing boys?" Nikki asked later than evening when she caught the four oldest sitting or kneeling on the window ledge of one of the windows in the upstairs hallway.

"Looking for the baby mummy" Theo replied and Harry who had just walked out of Anthony's nursery gave Nikki a confused look. "Come on"

Both parents walked over and looked out to where Nathanial was pointing at the star filled sky.

"See, there's grandma" he pointed to one of the starts and Nikki felt a lump rise in her throat as she realised what they were doing. She and Harry had told the boys truthfully, when they had asked about grandparents, that they had died. But had made it nicer for them and told them that they were now stars in the sky and were looking down on them. Harry saw his wife getting upset and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer and kissing her gently. "and that's nana" Nathanial pointed to another star.

"No that's not nana" Theo protested and pointed to another part of the sky "That's nana"

"No it's not"

"Yes it is"

"No it's not" Nathanial glared at his brother and their parents couldn't help but laugh at them.

"Be quiet" Nikki chuckled as she knelt on the window ledge with them "You'll wake Tony"

"Sorry mummy" Theo apologised and then looked back at the sky and pointed "That's the baby there"

Nikki looked to where he was pointing and forced back tears as she nodded, kissing each of the boys gently on the head.

"Grandma and nana are looking after him or her" Samuel told his parents as though it was a matter of fact and Nikki bit back a sob as she nodded.

"I'm sure they are" Harry replied for his wife, seeing how upset that she was. He too felt himself getting tearful at the boy's innocence at the whole thing. "Come on boys, time for bed"

"Daddy" Theo groaned "It's the holidays"

"I know, and if you go to bed now then we can spend the entire day tomorrow as a family. Mummy and daddy don't have to work at all. But only if you go to bed now and get a good night's sleep. You don't want to be tired tomorrow"

The boys shook their heads vigorously and each kissed Nikki on their way past her as they hopped off the window ledge. Nikki hugged each of them tightly before letting Harry take them to bed. When they had gone, Nikki moved herself onto the ledge so she was sitting up against the wall, her legs drawn up to her chest so she could look at the night sky. She couldn't help but wonder if it was true, that somewhere her mother, Harry's mother and even her own grandmother were looking after her baby. A smile broke out over her face as she imagined the scene and a few tears dripped down her face as she imagined her mother cooing over a beautiful little girl, feeling extremely proud of her own daughter.

"Are you alright?"

Nikki jumped slightly and turned to face her husband as he walked over to the window and sat down on the ledge next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pulling her closer to him.

"I am now" Nikki whispered as she buried her face in his chest and closed her eyes.


Two more exams left and then I have officially left school...scary.

xxx