*I've always considered the relationship Kathryn Janeway and Owen Paris had to be a pretty good one, especially following Mosaic. So, little tapping in on that bond (maybe almost father/daughter given her losses?).
Part 8- Starfleet Headquarters, San Diego
Kathryn stood in Admiral Paris' office, hands clasped behind her back as she stared out into the beautiful city. The sleek metal skyscrapers reflected the early morning sun back into the sky, giving off a beautiful glow. His first floor office was envied by most, easy in, easy out, always a bustle of business. Now she was waiting patiently as he went over her and Justin's reports regarding the entire mission. He sighed with each new PADD grunting over the details, before moving to Chakotay's and Captain O'Cleary's slightly simplified reports.
He cleared his throat at long last. "I like how you handled this, Admiral Janeway. Every bit of it, however there was a lot of lost lives." Paris peered over at her as she maintained her position at the window, not moving. He frowned slightly and sat up a bit. "Kathryn?"
She turned, having heard every word, and every grunt over the last two hours as he reviewed the details. "Admiral, loss of life is to be expected when you rush through preliminary of a mission, especially one like this."
He watched her closely, his concern for her not ebbing. "It worked as planned."
"Pl-planned?" Shock registered on her face as she stumbled over the word.
He set the PADD on his glass topped desk and watched her blue eyes turn from surprise to a hot anger. "Kathryn, I wish I had time to brief you fully, I really do. I hate pulling things on my people and I told intelligence you'd be upset with it. We fully expected you and Commander Gardner to be able to ad lib so to speak as it occurred. We were hoping to flush out the contacts, even knew at least one of those students was an operative, but I am surprised by it, I didn't expect both of them."
She slumped down in the chair across from him. "My report was technical, Admiral, perhaps if I give you some details to take back to Command it will deter reprehensible behavior in the future." She held up her finger. "First, Phoebe McKeith, turns out is just an innocent bystander, or she was until someone slit her throat in a darkened corridor. She was in the Cornelius' Sickbay hanging on - barely- and than crashed and bled out while the Doctor attempted to save her life. Oh, and than there's Val, who's valiant efforts to retake the Asteria ended in 3rd degree burns across her face. They're still trying to decide if they can repair the damage to her corneal nerves so she can see completely." She was holding a second finger and than a third as she rattled off names, one by one along with the injuries they sustained or their deaths respectively.
He watched and listened until she ran out of steam and pursed his lips in thought. "And than there's you…. According to Captain Chakotay's report you went through hell, Kathryn, his Doctor's reports stated you nearly died from likely to have be fatal injuries. And you still look like your in some pain."
"I tend to ignore the demands of my Doctor, although he was satisfied enough to let me leave." She confessed softly, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. "I think this was not worth leaving us in the dark to 'flush them out,' with all due respect." She leaned forward, going where she hadn't in a long time. "Sir, you know I wasn't prepared for this, I can't fly blind!"
"You need to let go of that past, Kathryn, if you plan to continue service this way."
"I don't want to serve like this, it's beyond my capacity to go into it. I need a game plan, a mission with structure, I need all the information. I can extrapolate from there if necessary, but don't send me in half cocked. I'm not an intelligence officer for a reason." She pressed her hands against the table and stared at him.
"I would use you again if needed, you did well." He mumbled.
"That's not the point. I hate it. I watched people die, and this is beyond mission casualties. Between the Asteria and Cornelius' I loss less lives in the Delta Quadrant in seven - years. And on top of it, I had to face my own students after they betrayed everything I've believed in."
He smiled at her gently. "Do you remember during the Arias Expedition, after we left the ship? When the Cardassians fired on us, disabling the shuttle and we were in a spiral?"
She raised an eyebrow at the changed tone. "Easily counted among the most frightening moments of my career, Admiral."
"What did I tell you, Kathryn?"
She paused, not to think of what it was, that she remembered vividly, but to anticipate his direction and reason. "Not to be a hero." She finally returned.
He nodded, his deep eyes reflecting the pain he still carried from that terrible mission, the pain she clung to as well. "What did I mean by that?"
"Withholding information from them just wasn't that damn important." She reached out and laid her hand atop his. "Thankfully for the mission's sake they didn't ask me anything of importance, I'm sure I wouldn't have been nearly as strong as you."
He chuckled, turning his hand over to hold hers, resting his other shaky one on top of both. "Have you imparted such inspirations and wisdoms on your students?" Coming from any other Admiral, it would be an accusation. Teach someone to disregard confidentiality to preserve a life? That was laughable, maybe a court martial offense.
"No but I've said similar to some of the junior officers under me through the years.. Harry Kim, to Tom..." She reflected momentarily back to the shuttlecraft where Mortimer Harran nearly lost his life. She remembered yelling over the communication link for him to get resume his course, upset that'd sacrifice himself. "I suppose I shared that sentiment with a lot of people, for one reason or another."
"I feel that's what Mr. Starlin seems to have gotten from his brief student career, and he didn't get it from Tuvok's logical theorem class." He offered, hinting at his direction finally.
Her eyes softened and she saw the truth in what he was saying. "I can help him."
"I think you can, Kathryn. If you learned anything from me, perhaps it's that."
She looked down at the hands holding hers, the fine lines, and wrinkles, scars from years of fixing burnt cooling injectors and spent plasma casings. "Definitely not from Tuvok's class."
He laughed, his eyes lighting up at her ability to find good while reminiscing about the traumatizing past they shared.
"I should go, his hearing's almost over." She stood and than leaned over the desk kissing him on the cheek. "Thank you, Admiral."
He blushed slightly at the warmth on his cheek and smiled up at her. "Have a good day, Kathryn."
Andrew felt a sickening know twist inside his stomach as he sat alone in the courtroom. It was massive, with statues set in large, carved out alcoves. Flags representing hundreds of worlds hung in rows from the cathedral ceiling, jostled slightly from a hidden vent. He tried not to fidget. His counsel told him that nervous gestures would not help him. One by one, the Admirals presiding over the hearing filed in and took their seats. They took only a half hour to deliberate. He felt his lungs stop working as he stared at their expressionless faces. As he felt movement beside him from his counsel returning he managed to breathe again. He looked down at his pale hands, every inch of skin was pale.
"Andrew Starlin, please rise." The ranking member, Admiral Aarons spoke
Andrew did as he was told.
Something in the back of the room grabbed their attention. He looked up as they watched someone coming in and turned to see as well.
Kathryn Janeway, alone in a standard uniform, holding a data PADD was walking purposefully down the slight slope to the front of the massive room. She paused when she reached the counsel seating and tipped her head in question.
They exchanged glances and Aarons motioned her forward. "What can we do for you, Admiral Janeway?"
Kathryn smiled tightly as she rested her forearms on the high-topped marble proceedings bench and she slid the PADD to him. "I'd like to appeal to your good nature, Sirs."
He eyed her carefully before lifting the PADD and skimming over the reports of his service on the Asteria following the attack. "Regarding Mr. Starlin?"
"Aye, Sir."
"Proceed."
She slid her arms off the bench and took a step back, but keeping her voice low. "I am certain the Admirals of taken into account the duress placed on Mr. Starlin prior to succumbing to his involvement?"
"We are aware of it, yes. What are you wanting from this, Janeway?" His voice was sounding irritated.
"You're considering putting him on a detention colony for the rest of his life-"
"Treason is a serious crime, Kathryn!" On of the other Admiral's cut her off showing no ceremony or respect. "A lot of people died because of him."
"A lot of people died because Command rushed Admiral Paris into making abrupt decisions that cost lives." She countered.
The Admiral her stony glare was fixed on shrank back, but his scowl remained aimed at her.
"I read the final reports myself, and have seen the charges against him, you can't possibly expect me to go along with using lack of experience from a cadet as a scapegoat for these problems."
Aarons spoke again. "It's all been considered, Admiral Janeway." His voice was softer than the other. "I'm afraid the opinion of the court has not been changed, now, may I give it?"
She raised her voice a little bit so that it would be heard by all present. "Than, it will not hurt you to hear me out?"
He nodded. "Go ahead."
She raised an eyebrow as each admiral fell right into listening. "Think for a moment, put yourself in this situation. Your parents are dead, you've been left to raise your little sister, her sole guardian. You decide to enroll in the Academy, deciding a job in Starfleet would provide the best life for you and her. One morning you're rushing around trying desperately to make it to your first class starting at 0800 hours, you know you can't afford anymore penalty marks for tardiness. I've been denied the exact reports, the audio and his testimony, so let me speculate. She turned her head, fixing a sideways gaze at Andrew who was still standing. "Your console beeps, maybe you've only got half your shirt on, a sock is missing. You hurry to the console, pulling the shirt the rest of the way on, fully expecting it to be your least favorite professor demanding your three days late assignment. The screen lights up, it's not me… it's a Romulan. He tells you he has your sister and you laugh. Than he shows you her. She scared, her shirt is ripped, maybe she's bleeding. He tells you what to do, gives you orders." She could hardly bear to watch the tears falling down his cheeks and she turned her head back to the row of admirals. "They have Lyssa. They've beat her, and raped her, so you will do what they want you to. You have to, she's your whole world and she's only a child. To hell with Starfleet."
"Admiral Janeway, while I'm sure Mr. Starlin is content to have you on his side, we-"
"Let her finish." Admiral Aarons cut the other off.
She tipped her head in appreciation. "When he was on board the Asteria he saw the direct result of his actions and he regretted them, even when he thought she was still alive. He realized the affect his simple assignment had on others. He saw the death, watched some of the execution style killings." She choked it out. She'd seen some of it too, and thanks to the Doctor was able to remember the detail. She shrugged it off and kept going. "He helped us retake her. Sirs, in my service as captain, I forgave and dismissed far, far worse."
"Brief recess." He mumbled under his breath. Aarons led the others out, Andrew's counsel following behind closely.
When they were alone Kathryn eased in beside Andrew. "I'm sorry I had to bring it all up I'm sure for not the first time through this hearing."
Andrew managed a smile as he sat down too. "It feels good to know that someone actually cares enough about me to come in here and try to help." He moved his fingers around, fidgeting a little bit. "You were right, about the call… I thought it was you."
She patted his shoulder and slid down in the seat, relaxing as they waited.
They remained silent as the short recess turned into several hours. Kathryn slipped out once, and returned with her favorite beverage, but not a word was said as she resumed her silent support of him.
Just when Andrew thought he couldn't sit still any longer, the old mahogany doors opened, the Admirals returning to the hall. He and Kathryn stood and waited for them to all sit.
The ranking admiral again motioned Kathryn up. "We've dismissed the counsel, there will be no further discussion as we've reached the unanimous ruling."
She returned to stand next to Andrew.
Aarons cleared his throat. "Andrew Victor Starlin, you're lucky to have such a powerful woman in your corner." He winked at Kathryn. "All formal charges have been dropped due to coercion, extreme duress and threats against the immediate family of the defendant. However, you have been denied hereby any future re-entry into the Academy and will not be permitted on any grounds or properties henceforth. This will be included in your civilian record as permanent and binding. Hearing adjourned."
Again the hall emptied.
Kathryn stood and walked, hand clasped behind her, beside a reflective Andrew. "Well, if it's any consolation I would have failed you, so would Tuvok."
He smiled. "Yeah, D-Average has that effect. I just feel like I've betrayed myself worst of all."
She put her arm over his shoulders. "Why?"
"I gave up everyone's safety, hurt everyone. And for what? They still killed her."
She continued their path out of the old hall and away from it's towering shadow towards Sand Diego city. A three block walk and they had reached a corner café that had a clear view of San Diego Bay through the line of buildings. Kathryn requested a particularly pungent blend of coffee for both of them and cringed as she watched him dump at least four tablespoons worth of sugar into it and a large splash of milk.
"Oh gag, ey Admiral?" He grinned, not being the only one who knew her coffee preferences.
She nodded and made yet another face as she pointed to an empty table on the cornerstone of the building. "You," She spoke as she sipped cautiously at the steaming liquid, "Need to let yourself off the hook. You didn't kidnap her, you didn't hurt her. And it's not your fault that she's gone. You did what they told you to do, they took liberties with your cooperation that is a staple understanding of an enemy."
He sighed as she spoke, but continued to listen.
"One of the best ways to work through something so awful is to not abandon your principles completely, because they're not always going to keep their end of the bargain."
"Why did you defend me?" He bravely touched a linger bruise on her wrist, one the Doctor apparently missed.
Kathryn leaned forward, resting her arms on the table and sliding the mug to the left a little. "Because I've learned through the years that if you can help people you love, you do it. You worry about the cost later."
"Professor Tuvok would disagree strongly." He raised his eyebrow in surprise.
"Hmm, but apparently there's something to it, because you've been given a virtual pardon unanimously by five Admirals."
He pressed his lips together hard, thinking over this sudden logic.
"If it were up to me, I'd train you myself. They can't expect a raw cadet to hold it all together in the face of something like this. But, they're ruling is final."
He nodded. "Yeah, I'll take it. Significantly better than prison."
"Tom Paris would agree." Chakotay's voice echoed behind Kathryn.
She turned to see him and Justin coming up behind. "Hello Chakotay… Justin."
He grinned at her, someone finally broke her. "Kathryn."
She hugged Chakotay and shook Justin's hand as they joined the two on either side of her. "We've got a semi-full pardon for this one." She smiled.
"Oh?" Chakotay stared at her, not surprised she fought it, but surprised she did it for him.
"Yeah." She smiled definitively as she found her mug again.
Justin sighed. "Not so for Va'Ler. Turns out she's a Vulcan dissenter who's been studying Romulan culture for some time. She's been undercover here for quite a while. Someone pulled strings to get her in your class."
She shrugged. "We'll leave that for you intelligent types to figure out."
"Staying out of it huh?" Justin tipped his head to the side.
"I had a long chat with Admiral Paris and …. Well, he knows better now."
They all laughed at that. Kathryn had a way with the stubborn admiral, she's the only one who'd ever been able to command his respect.
She smiled back at them and made a specific contact with Andrew. She'd formed a bond with him, understood him better for it. His forced leave of Starfleet would not stop her from being there for him and mentoring him.
Fin. Thanks everyone. A special thanks to memory-alpha for quick reference points (makes it easier to NOT have to reread Mosaic in order to find particular points to reference).
And a thank you to Bosnian Trekker on YouTube. His video clips made double checking some facts faster than digging through my DVDs.
