Chapter 12: Codename: Epsilon

21:11 PM (Japan Time), Tuesday September the 1st…

"… No dice, Boss. I've been trying to track any signatures which could give away the presence of Tabuu's base of operations given his use of the fusion reactors, but I haven't detected any! He could be under the sea or inside of a mountain for all we know!"

"Bothersome mouse!"

"Calm down, Boss! Not even that guy is perfect. He's bound to make a mistake…"

"We said that regarding the trio, and they haven't acted yet!"

"I know, but… They could be bidding their time!"

"Whatever…"

"Cool it down…"

"I can't stand it anymore! I want something to happen!"

Lartes and Vadous were discussing inside of the command bridge.

Vadous was exasperated while Lartes was trying to calm him down.

"Ahem, ahem. Welcome to Evil Pepe's Show! Are ya hearing me, Langley? I know ya are, 'cause ya intercepted my phone years ago and ya try to route me to other places to shake me off but Evil Pepe won't give up so easily, no sir!" A voice rang out through the speakers.

"What the…? That ain't War Rock! The little rascal is on detention!"

"Sigma has learned to not to troll, so it can't be him, either… Who is it…?"

"Moon Disaster…?" Vadous wondered.

"I knew it! You're the loathsome CIA man who fired me 8 eight years ago! I recognize your silly accent! Get ready!"

"The CIA? What is this man talking about? Is that their attempt at a one-man comedy show?"

"Hmmm? The guy came! Calderón came! Get ready! General Campestre will overthrow ya and form the United States of Mexico with me as its first historical president!" The voice kept on saying.

"Calderón? But I thought that he'd been president on the early 2000s… This guy lives on a cave or what?" Lartes sighed.

"Calderón is dethroned! I am the King of the World! Bow before me!"

"… He's drunk!" Vadous grumbled.

"And he's gotta be a radio aficionado who picked up our frequency at random out of the blue…"

"…Found ya, Alfred! You owe me five bucks! Hand them over or I'll call the Secret Service!"

"Let's shut this guy off!"

He interacted with the keyboard but frowned as he looked up information.

"This can't be! The signal doesn't come from Earth! It's being broadcasted through a series of orbiter satellites across the Solar System starting in the Kuiper Belt! There's a time-space tunnel opened beyond that crosses through a large gap of the Milky Way! Which means that… It's Tabuu!"

"Was my Mexican accent convincing enough, Partner? You must be feeling bored up there! I'm using this signal to send over some of my pawns. Blood Shadow, Sigma and Omega! will have opponents to handle this evening… It's their turn to shine, too!"

"Tabuu! You jerk!" Vadous cursed.

"My, my… Anyway… I'll leave this channel open. Try to trace me back at the origin, Holmes!"

"Hmpf! I'd done that even if you hadn't challenged me! Do you think I'd let such a chance go to waste?"

"Coming… Let's have them play inside of the mainframe given how it's so wide and spacious... You could play basketball there, too! Or maybe you prefer football?" Tabuu laughed.

"Warning. Four strong signatures riding along data transmission signal: they will intrude the mainframe in 30 seconds..."

"Engage firewalls! Max level! Security systems: all on! Blood! Sigma! Omega! Cyber In into the system and handle them!" Vadous commanded.

"Roger!"

"Come at full power!"

"In the meanwhile, I'll treat you to an explosive exclusive piece of news!"

"What?" Vadous demanded.

"The sneaking rolling mocking trumpeter strikes back!"

"Very original! Patent it!"

"Good reply, Partner… There are another two chaps who are eager for some blood, so they're headed there as backup units in case the first two were to de defeated… Dancing dancer of dances is going to date fighting fighter of fighters!" He laughed at his joke.

"You're not funny!"

"I knew that the topic of medics not having humor was not an exaggeration after all…"

"Hmpf. Whatever!" Lartes scoffed.

"Coming…! Enjoy~!"

"Warning. Infiltration detected. Intruders contained by Level 1 Firewall…"

"Festival, festival! Bloody slaughter! Brat! Killer Man is gonna chop you lowlife up! Get ready! I'm invincible~!"

"Cosmo Man will bury this fool into the "Dark" of the Universe…"

"Shut up!"

"Come at full power!"

"I'll be the one to silence you lowlife!"

"Hmpf. That silly design is laughable!"

"That's my motto!"

"Hell's Sickle!"

"Noised Wizard!"

"Cosmo Buster!"

"Take this!"

Killer Man swung the scythe towards Blood Shadow and shot a slice of energy towards him, but a Noised Wizard showed up behind him and slashed his back, distracting him.

Cosmo Man produced golden planetoids surrounded by rings, which he shot in a row towards Sigma, but he merely bounced them off with his sword back at Cosmo Man who merely smiled.

"Counter Barrier!"

"Crap!"

The Counter Barrier showed up and the planetoids bounced back at Sigma, but he swung his sword to change their course.

The whole thing became a dead-man's-volley game until Sigma aimed for the ceiling.

The three planetoids crashed into the ground around Cosmo Man, distracting him.

"Sorry for the wait… Shade Man has descended!"

"Swallow Man is going to sweep through them!"

"Crap! The reinforcements…!" Blood Shadow cursed.

"Who cares? Come at full power! It's over! I'm gonna beat ya!"

"Hmpf! I'll have the brat! It must be juicer!"

"The black guy's my target, then!"

"Come!" Both challenged.

"I'll suck your energy, brat!"

"I'm faster than a jet!"

"Wait! That brat's MY prey!" Killer Man grumbled.

"This giant is MY prey!" Cosmo Man protested.

"Mine!"

"Let them destroy each other!"

"I doubt that'll happen!" Blood Shadow muttered.

"Silence!" Tabuu commanded.

"R-roger, Lord Tabuu!"

"Go all out! No holding back! Two per opponent! Go!"

"You lot! That's unfair! Face someone of your size! My blood's boiling!"

"Some late-night entertainment…"

Wolf Forest and Omega also appeared within the system as well, surprising the invaders.

"The vampire is mine!" Omega announced.

"Then I'll have the swallow jerk!" Wolf Forest chuckled.

"You're not the only one with reinforcements, Tabuu, and I've decoded 80% of your signal by now. I only need 45 seconds to finish decoding and get to the origin point!" Vadous announced.

"Bring it on, then!"

"Wolf Slash! Wolf Upper!"

"Eat this!"

"Dancing Blade!"

"Demon Rings!"

"Hell's Sickle!"

"Cosmo Gate!"

"Crush Noise!"

"Swallow Cutter!"

"… 33 seconds…!"

"This is getting as hot as Cuba, it'd seem! Or so would our old friend, Major Tom, say!" Tabuu joked.

"You mean the 1963 Cuba Missile Crisis?" Vadous guessed.

"Correct, Holmes!"

"Save your sarcasm for your ugly face. 19 seconds!"

"… Hell! Stay still, you brat! I'll slice your neck!"

"No chance, ugly!"

"This man…! Accept your fate!"

"Wander in despair and hopelessness!"

"This werewolf wannabe…! I'll blow you up!"

"Try it!"

"T-this MORON…!"

Killer Man had resorted to swinging his scythe around in a mad manner while Blood Shadow had no trouble dodging.

Cosmo Man was trying to hit Sigma with his punches, but he was blocking each attack.

Swallow Man was fighting Wolf Forest but wasn't making progress.

Omega had easily beaten Shade Man using his fists.

"10 seconds…!"

"Hot, hot and getting hotter…" Tabuu rhymed.

"Shaddup. 5 seconds…!"

"Behold!"

"What?" Omega wondered.

"It's a small planet 194 light-years away from the Solar System which is a frozen and barren ball of ice! But there's nothing on its surface…!"

"Europa's Hidden Ocean. Wasn't that one of your passwords which you valued so much?"

"I see! This planet is like Europa, Jupiter's moon! There's an ocean hidden under the crest of ice, and you've built your HQ down there!"

"And I'll be waiting for you guys to unveil the biggest of surprises…"

"Whatever. Guys! Finish up in there!"

"Roger. Beast Swing!"

"How could the great I, Killer Man, lose to a mere cheeky brat…?"

"Eat sword!"

"Glory to… Lord Tabuu~…!"

"The finishing blow, swallow jerk! Wolf Slash! Wolf Upper!"

"T-this JERK…! I'll drag you into Hell…!"

"Hmpf. It's time to go back to Transylvania to sleep inside the casket for another 100 years, Dracula wannabe!"

"My feast!"

Blood Shadow had used the Beast Swing to open a gash on Killer Man's body below the torso armor, which deleted him.

Sigma drove his sword through Cosmo Man to defeat the man.

Wolf Forest formed some grave wounds on Swallow Man which ended up destroying him.

Omega cut Shade Man into three using his energy sword.

"For the time being… I'll codename that planet "Epsilon"… And tomorrow we go bring war to you, Tabuu!" Vadous announced.

"War? You want war, I shall offer you war. Bye!"

"Very well. It's decided, then. We go to fight the final battle! Wait for us, Tabuu!"

"May I have your attention, my fellow werewolves…?"

"Who…?" Wolf Forest wondered.

"Wolverine is about to create a time paradox. Better get to the shelter before he does!"

"Wolverine? Who's that? An FM warrior?"

"Never heard of the guy if that was the case!" Wolf muttered.

"It's a troll!" Vadous sighed.

"No wonder…" Omega grumbled.

"SHIELD is gonna go down with a bang and a shield!"

"How original!" Blood Shadow drily muttered.

"Smaug the Magnificent wants to present some complaints regarding private territory intrusion!"

"Sheesh. The jerk never runs out of ideas!"

"I feel like joining the fun!" Sigma laughed.

"I see you're eager for detention, too!"

"Yikes! I take it back, Boss!"

"A billion blue blistering barnacles! I'm the Count of Marlinspike!"

"Sure, sure." Blood Shadow skeptically muttered.

"That the best you can come up with? Tabuu?" Lartes sighed.

"Well, my fellow, maybe Dr. Septimus gave me a helping hand!"

"I don't care who it is or who it is supposed to be!"

"As skeptical as ever. How about I say that a dragon-knight will visit your clinic tonight?"

"I don't have a clinic and I'm just a mental health medic!"

"Just like Septimus!"

"Stop comparing me to that Septimus, whoever they are! I've got the feeling they're a villain to begin with!"

"Good hunch, my fellow!"

"I'm going to send you troll emails!" Vadous threatened.

"I guess they'll be worse than mine. Can't be helped. I don't want to have nightmares about kabuki and nicknames, so I better pull out for tonight… Today's not my day, either… Oh boy…"

The line was cut and even Omega was taken aback by the odd behavior.

Vadous sighed and one could picture him rolling his eyes.

"I'll never be able to figure out how an alien Wizard adapts to a society like human one… I'd rather not figure out what he thinks!"

"Agreed! Sheesh!" Wolf Forest grumbled.

"Maybe we need to send the guy a manual on being a strict leader?"

"Don't give the guy weird ideas. Next time he'll start up some business that'll cause us further headaches!"

"Sure! Let's go rest!" Omega grumbled.

"Roger, sir. I'll check on my systems, too…"

"And I'll upgrade my sword to beat up those weaklings!"

"Don't get overconfident, either!"

"Let's not start a fight…"

"Alright. Let's go! To the final battle!"

23:48 PM (Japan Time)…

"… Sheesh. It's all Sigma's fault. The guy had to bring up kabuki and all that crap! And now I can't focus. I can't stop shuddering the whole time! I need to find some research to focus my mind into!"

Tabuu was complaining aloud as he hovered within the command room.

He'd brought up several Real Wave screens having blueprints, texts in different idioms (including a glyph-based), pictures and so on.

He was fumbling with them as they floated close to him and sighing.

"Hmmm? Oh no! "Tabbed has been tabbed by a browser tab!"… I always HATED that one! I really did! I still do! Omega! For a "righteous sword", you sure can be vengeful when you feel like it! Sheesh. I must calm down or else I won't be ready for tomorrow's show!"

He brought up more screens only to dismiss them on a whim or to bring them back again on another whim.

"Can't focus! Billion blistering suns!"

He snapped his right hand's fingers, and a soft jazz piece of music began to ring out on the background.

He sighed and seemed to discharge some tension.

"Better! Much better. Truly. Now I can really focus!"

Another set of screens popped up and they displayed more blueprints, data and imagery along with live feed from surveillance cameras placed in different spots.

"All seems to be working fine. All objects are on place. You may regret coming here full of confidence. Regret in the sense that it won't be as easy as you think it's going to be. Partner. But this is a duel between your wits and mine, after all. No grudge!"

"A tabbed tab of tabs will tab the tabbing tabs of tabs!" Sigma joked.

"I CAN'T STAND THESE JOKES! SHEESH! Come! I'll be your opponent!"