I finally found my locker, which was all the way at the other end of the damn school; but that didn't matter now. The sooner I found my sunglasses the better. I needed to get out of here. My throat was starting to close up again, and my chest was getting tight. I was having yet again another panic attack. I had anxiety attack syndrome, and it always happened at the most inconvenient times. There was nobody in the hall way, which was a good thing. I had to freak out on my own with no help, which was bad. I slid down my locker and put my head between my knees. I rocked back and forth, to keep from crying. I was already starting to shake when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see Anya, a concerned expression on her face.
"Alina? what happened? Oh god, alina calm down, please. Come on lets go to the nurses office." I had started sobbing and hyperventilating, thinking to myself the whole time, Kai would know that to do. My big brother has all the answers. Please help me Kai…..
All the praying in the world wouldn't bring him back, I knew that by now; and by the time we got to the nurses office I couldn't even breath. The nurse rushed over to us, waving her arms and pulling me to a chair. "Alright dear. in and out, in and out. That's a good girl." She was rubbing my back while reaching over to put a garbage can in front of me, which I proceeded to vomit into. The nurse left to left to get some water for me, leaving Anya and I alone.
"Alina….what happened?"
"Sorry….panic attack. heh heh……"I looked back down into the garbage can, still breathing heavily. " well I guessed that. But why? did something happen or…..what?"
I didn't know if I really had to explain or what, but I pointed to my eyes, and gestured down the rest of my body, as if she should be able to tell just by me pointing.
She cocked her head to the side, not getting it.
I sighed, pointing to my eyes closer and widening them. " These things right here! and this," I grabbed a strand of my hair, pulling it out from my shoulder, extending it. " This disgusting body I was born with gets me into too much trouble."
" oh, Alina! But your so pretty! I don't know why anybody would have a reason to say otherwise. " she smiled at me, not seeming to understand how much pain these eyes had brought me. " Declan he…he saw them! He saw these stupid creepy eyes of mine and I ran! I'm such an idiot!" I buried my face In my hands, ready to go for another round. Nobody has ever called me pretty in my entire life, not even my family. The only person to call me pretty was…..Kai. But he was gone now, so it didn't matter, not a bit.
"Alina listen to me! Your so pretty! who cares if your albino? I have no idea how the people at your previous school were to you, but the kids here are more accepting. Nobody is going to hurt you, Alina. Declan might be an arrogant snob sometimes, but hes being really nice to you, which is odd for him. He must sense something about you that he dosent like in the other girls. Give him a chance."
I thanked her, then watched her go back to class. I hoped we could get to be friends.
I sat in the nurses office until lunch time, then went outside to the courtyard, where a lot of the kids seemed to be enjoying the weather. The wind stopped and the sky gave way to bright sunlight.
I sat under a nearby tree, putting my bad beside me, closing my eyes and letting my head lay back against the trunk of the tree. I thought about what Anya said, about people here being more accepting than my other schools, and to give Declan a chance. I had never let anybody but Kai in, not even my own mother. so giving somebody a chance would be hard, as im not a very trusting person.
"Well then Miss. secretive, I wasn't aware that you were planning on coming back to show your face, after you ran off earlier." None other than Declan was standing above me, looking right into my eyes, seeming totally unfazed by them. " Oh…heh heh……sorry about that….."
"No worries, now then, did you really think that you would have to hide from me? There not that bad, once you get used to them. Their actually pretty."
" No there not. There disgusting, just like the rest of me."
He stared me straight in the eye, and had a serious look on his face. "Don't ever say that again. Your not disgusting in any way. Just…..different.' He winked at me, and hauled me to my feet. " Now, how about we go out and get some lunch? Nobody deserves this cafeteria food."
