Hehe. Hehehehe. Heh,

It is the moment each of you have waited for. Oh yes. The moment when...

Nah, I won't spoil the surprise. I am eviiil.

But not so evil that I won't do a disclaimer.

I don't own anything.

Zelda's going through chaaaanges.

Hehehe.

WARNING! From this point on, it is extremely random. I also experiment with curse words. Not for children who haven't learned...uh...it.

Age 14

Zelda woke up the next morning and stretched. She took a small sniff. Something smelled off about the air. She felt something wet between her legs. At least Ganondorf and Link weren't sleeping with her.

She yanked up the covers to see what the wet stuff was and her eyes widened in horror. She opened her mouth to scream…

* * *

Ganondorf and Link woke up a little earlier then Zelda.

"Hey, Ganondorf?" Link asked.

"Hm." Ganondorf grunted, still tired.

"Why are your sheets wet?" Link asked. Ganondorf eyes widened and he ran to cover it up.

"No reason!" He said.

"Do you still wet the bed?" Link smiled.

"NO!" Ganondorf yelled. Link shook his head and stopped smiling.

"Didn't Din say something about dreaming, and-"

"NO!" Ganondorf said.

"What were you dreaming about?" Link questioned.

"Nothing!" Ganondorf protested. Link's eyes narrowed. He opened his mouth to question Ganondorf further. But just then they heard a scream.

"ZELDA!" They each screamed in unison, running to her room. Ganondorf was still only partly dressed. She was looking horrified at her bed.

"Zel, what-"

"Go AWAY!" She screamed, shoving her blankets back down.

"Zelda, what's going on?" Link asked, cautiously approaching.

"GO AWAY!!!!" She screamed.

"I bet its Vampires." Ganondorf whispered to Link. Link smacked him.

"Be serious." He mouthed.

"GO AWAY! NAYRU! NAYRU!!!!" Zelda screamed. Nayru and Farore came running into the room.

"Zelda, what's wrong?" Nayru asked.

"I'm bleeding! GOD, I'm bleeding!" Zelda wailed, pulling the covers around her tightly. Nayru ran up, and tried to get Link and Ganondorf away. Link went willingly, but Ganondorf insisted on staying. Link had to drag him out.

"It's the Vampires." Ganondorf nodded. Link gave him a look that clearly said 'shut up'.

"Now, Zelda. What's wrong? Show me what's bleeding." Nayru said calmly. Zelda gingerly let the covers fall off of her, to show a large spot of dried blood.

"Oh!" Nayru exclaimed happily. "Oh Zelda! This is great! You began your menstrual cycle!"

"I what?" Zelda snapped. She was becoming agitated.

"You can bear children! Oh, Zelda this if wonderful!" Farore exclaimed.

"It's not wonderful! I'm bleeding! What the heck is wrong with you?" Zelda yelled. Nayru looked appalled.

"Zelda, that's no tone to take." She scolded.

"SO? I don't care! I'm bleeding! I'm-OW!" She exclaimed, clutching her stomach in pain. It felt horrible. Ganondorf and Link were watching through the door.

"Zelda!" They ran in, worried for her. She curled into a ball, gripping her stomach tighter.

"OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW!!!" She wailed. Nayru and Farore stood up to get her something to put on her stomach, discussing it all the way.

"She has cramps." Farore stated the obvious.

"Mood swings, too. I think it's best we leave her alone." Nayru said.

"What about the boys?" Farore asked. Nayru just shook her head.

"Zelda, it's going to be OK." Link said calmingly.

"Yeah. Just breathe. Breathe in, breathe out." Ganondorf said. Zelda started to cry.

"It really really hurts." She sobbed. Link nodded. Ganondorf took her hand comfortingly, as humor hadn't worked.

"Don't touch me, you pig!" Zelda snapped at him. He withdrew his hand as if she had bitten him.

"Calm down." Link said soothingly.

"NO! I swear to god when this is over, I will rip out your voice boxes, make you eat them, and then use your own ribs to gut you!" She fumed madly. Link and Ganondorf looked quizzically at each other. What was going on? Zelda burst out laughing.

"Your faces!" She cackled. "They're so funny! OW!" She gasped, once more holding her stomach.

"Um…" Link was at a loss of words.

"WHAT?" Zelda yelled. "Can't you say anything?"

"He can. But he's the 'Strong and Silent' type, remember?" Ganondorf made another stab at a joke.

"YOU! You shut up! Nobody cares what you think! NO ONE!" Zelda yelled.

"Zelda, please calm down." Farore said sternly, walking in.

"OK, you? Don't even talk to me, you pathetic excuse for a woman!" Zelda snapped.

"Zelda!" Nayru strode it. "That is quiet enough."

"Oh, yeah. Let's all listen to you, miss I-have-a-stick-up-my-butt! Nobody cares what you think either!"

"I think we should go…" Farore didn't have to tell them twice. Link and Ganondorf bolted.

"Oh, sure! Leave me here! Abandon me in my time of need! I'm in pain and you all just leave me behind!" Zelda sobbed behind them. "None of you love me! NONE OF YOU!"

* * *

Link and Ganondorf went the whole morning without seeing Zelda. They sat down to lunch and began to eat in silence with the goddesses.

Din stopped eating and stared ahead for a second, not believing her eyes.

"Din?" Ganondorf asked through a mouthful of food. Din pointed to the doorway. In is stood a glowering Zelda. She was wearing practically nothing; just her thin nightgown that was cut too short barely fell past her hips. It was the nightgown she had worn when she was ten. The nightgown was practically see through. Ganondorf and Link ogled at her.

Nayru observed her slightly tangled hair and shook her head.

"NO. Zelda, that is very inappropriate. Go change."

"Bite me." Zelda snarled.

"See? Vampires." Ganondorf whispered in Link's ear. Link swallowed a laugh. Zelda hit them both on the head as she walked by and took a seat. Nayru scowled.

"Zelda, go change." She said. Zelda glared at her.

"Make me, you watery little snot." She snapped, chomping down on an apple.

Breakfast was tense. Link and Ganondorf didn't dare to move. Except once, Ganondorf leaned down and whispered-

"Vampires." To which Zelda smacked him.

Zelda stormed out of the breakfast room and went back to her bedroom, falling onto the bed. She started to cry.

"I'm so mean." She thought. "No one is going to like me now. My only friends hate me."

Link and Ganondorf came up to her door.

"Zel…" Ganondorf said quietly. Zelda whacked her bed. Why did they have to come NOW?

"Nayru wanted us to make sure you were changing." Link said.

"Dude, I said we should do that. You know…" Ganondorf leaned down and whispered something in his ear.

"Don't be vulgar." Zelda snapped. Ganondorf straitened up.

"We wanted to make sure the Vampires didn't eat you."

"THERE ARE NO VAMPIRES!" Zelda yelled, flinging her pillow at him with dead accuracy. Ganondorf ducked, and the pillow grazed the top of his head. Link rolled his eyes.

"We also wanted to tell you that we love you, no matter what." Link said. "And girl problems won't change that. OOF!" He lost a bit of his breath as Zelda flung herself at them, wrapping her arms around their necks.

"Do you really mean that?" She asked, looking at both of them.

"Of course we do." Link reassured her. Zelda squeezed them tighter. Ganondorf gave Link the thumbs up over Zelda's back.

"I can feel her boobs." He mouthed. Link gave him a 'wtf, shut up' look. Zelda pulled back and shoved them out the door.

"Now go, I have to change." She smiled. Ganondorf and Link left to go to their room.

"Dude, I totally felt her boobs!" Ganondorf said triumphantly.

"I know. She hugged me too."

"It. Was. Awesome."

"No. No, it wasn't." Link sighed.

"You know it was awesome." Ganondorf smirked.

"…a little." Link mumbled.

"I can hear you!" Zelda yelled from her room.

"Damn." Ganondorf hissed, but he was smiling all the same.

"Perverts." Zelda shook her head.

Don't hate me. Please.

I AM NOT A PERVERT! Link and Ganondorf are.

I am not sorry for the randomness. I thought it was funny, so HA!

Did you think it was funny?

FYI, Ganondorf was saying Vampires=Blood, so....

Yeah.

On a non-related note, my Birthday was yesterday. Hooray!

Find the kindness in your black, black hearts to review.

Or else.

Peace! c(: