Yeah...hey. Don't worry about the whole LinkxIlia thingy. And uh...pretty much any pairings in this chapter are bogus. You know, just for fun.
But meh. I don't own any of this.
Oh, and one more reminder. All these character aren't real! This is AD, remember? So...Ilia isn't the Ilia we all know from TP. She's TP Ilia's great great great great grandaughter. Understood? Great.
Up in the clouds
"Farore! Link just kissed a girl!" Din said. Nayru came running out of the kitchen, holding a loaf of fresh bread. She was making a welcome back feast for the kids.
"What? And it wasn't my Zelda?" she dropped onto her knees.
"Nope. It was a girl he met not five minutes ago!" Din shrieked, laughing. "He's more of a hunk than I thought!"
Farore sprinted out of the garden, her green hair flying out behind her.
"He kissed a girl? He really kissed a girl?"
"Ahh!" Nayru screamed. "I can't believe it wasn't Zelda!"
"It wasn't Zelda?" Farore asked, dropping down beside her sisters. "No way! He kissed a girl that wasn't Zelda?"
"Apparently so." Snorted Nayru.
"Aw…" Farore whined. "That's not right!"
Back in Ordon
Zelda wiped her eyes. She shouldn't care about that.
What was more important was where Ganondorf was, and when he was coming back.
Zelda rolled onto her side and began plucking small tufts of grass out of the ground.
Her fingers gave off a spark, and the blade of grass she was holding lit on fire. She tossed it into the lake.
An eagle flew out of the trees and soared around the skies. Zelda stared up at it. Its feathers glistened in the late afternoon light.
Zelda turned her attention back to the grass. She pulled of her glove and reached for another handful.
The tri-force shone on the back of her hand as she yanked up a fistful of weeds.
"Zelda?"
Ganondorf came clomping out of the trees.
"I made it? Wow. I took a wrong turn getting here, and I thought I was a goner." He said, plopping down next to her. "monsters everywhere! You'd think they'd have a hero somewhere."
Zelda dropped another fistful of grass into the lake.
"Hey…" Ganondorf watched the grass separate and float away. "Why are you upset?"
"I'm not upset." Zelda said defiantly. "Nothing's wrong."
The grass finally became soggy and sank.
"Zelda, I've lived with you for as long as I can remember." Ganondorf said, taking her hand. "I think I know when something's wrong."
Zelda burst into tears.
"Link kissed a girl!" She whimpered. "He just went out and KISSED her!"
"HAH! I've already beaten him to the punch!" Ganondorf said triumphantly.
Zelda stared at him in disbelief. She wiped her eyes.
"Don't you GET it? Link kissed her! KISSED! Full on the mouth!" Zelda gestured to them, sitting on the rock on the other side of the lake.
"Look at the love birds!" Navi cooed, slipping out of the trees. "How sweet!"
"NOT helping, Navi." Zelda grumbled.
"Hey…" Ganondorf pointed to Navi. "What's up with the talking blue candle?"
Zelda gave him a look of exasperation. Navi simply hovered around them.
"It's a fairy, dimwit." She snarled, snatching up navi, (she gave a high-pitched 'ouch!') and shoved her in Ganondorf's face.
"See the body? The wings?"
"Uh-huh."
"Um, Zelda? Would you mind not holding me so close to that ugly face?" Navi said in a small voice. "It's… ugly."
"Hey!" Ganondorf yelled. Zelda let go of Navi and she flew off, lopsided, swearing in the ancient hylian of her time.
"grr." Zelda grumbled.
"Look, there's nothing we could've done to stop him." Ganondorf said. Zelda glared daggers at him.
"Uh… ok, how about this." Ganondorf picked up a twig off the ground and stuck it into a patch of soft dirt. "This is link," he drew a little stick figure with a hat, "And this is that chick. Now, notice how I put a little warrior uniform on her."
He drew what resembled a rat on a bad hair day.
"That looks like a fart." Zelda said. Ganondorf bit back a laugh and a bitter retort. He liked her, and he had to keep a cool head. Besides, she excelled in art. He erased it with his fist and engraved what looked like a mushroom with eyes into the dirt.
"That's not the point." He said, letting out a big breath. "The point is, is that she is a warrior and is on the enemy's side. So she attacks link."
He drew lips onto the mushroom.
"What is that?" Zelda asked, shoving her finger at the mushroom like object. "Are those lips? Last time I checked, lips are not a weapon."
Her finger sparked at the dirt.
Ganondorf drew a line connecting link and Ilia's faces.
"No, but this is the war of seducing and attacking with kisses. And that chick could easily, *rowr*, pull off sex by the looks of it. That's like an A-bomb.
Zelda, OW!"
"You SICK, PERVERTED, MONSTER!" Zelda screamed, launching her fists into Ganondorf's stomach (He gave a loud BOOF).
Zelda pulled her fists out of his stomach and smiled, ganondorf huffing and wheezing.
"How's that for an A bomb?" She smirked. Ganondorf lifted his head.
"brilliant." He wheezed. "But I was talking about kissing war, and not physical."
"Touching lips. That's physical." Zelda pointed out. Ganondorf smiled.
"I would enjoy some healing magic now, thank you very much." He said, staring up at the sky, which was now turning scarlet because of the sunset.
Zelda leaned over the edge of the lake and drew some water out of it.
"alright." she sighed.
The water formed itself into a clear, over-sized dew drop. Zelda pulled herself back over the edge of the lake and crawled over to Ganondorf, water in hand.
"Wait, is this going to hurt?" Ganondorf asked. "I used to hate it when I got cut sword fighting, and Nayru got out the first aid. That stuff STINGS!"
Zelda giggled.
"No. Don't be such a baby." Zelda rolled her eyes and resumed acting serious, gently placing the dew drop on his stomach where it was most likely to be bruising already.
"Oh. OK!" Ganondorf sat up. "How long will it take?"
Zelda yawned. "A couple hours. I'm not an expert."
She stood up and extended a hand to Ganondorf.
"I'm tired." She said, helping him to his feet.
"Yeah. Let's go ask the girl where we'll be staying." Ganondorf agreed, taking her hand and walking along the edge of the pond back to where the huts were.
Zelda yawned again. The sun slipped behind the horizon as if it had been doused in butter.
"I hope they have a bed." she said, rubbing her eye. "A nice, comfortable bed with lace sheets, like the *yawn* goddesses bed."
A first star appeared. Zelda sank to her knees.
"I'm… so tired. I don't know why."
Ganondorf bent down.
"I can carry you." He offered.
"please." Zelda said. "I'm too sleepy. I'm afraid I'll fall asleep here."
She put her arms around his neck. Ganondorf picked her up.
Zelda closed her eyes. He smiled.
She's sleeping in my arms, he thought, beaming. She fell asleep in my arms!
AD means Alternate Dimension.
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