A/N: Twilight is mine, Robert is mine, nice pink little pills are mine…
Love is bullshit...That's what he said when I left him. I didn't blame him for uttering those three heinous words. I felt like utter shit myself for doing that to him, after ten years together.
We met during our first year of college in Seattle. I was studying French, of course and Jake was working very hard to become an engineer. I guess you've already heard this stupid saying, "Opposites attract", right? Well that's what happened. We fell in love, moved in together and started to live in a painful rut, all that in record time.
Jake was the Holy Grail for me, shy and mousy Bella Swan. He had one of those shining and warm personalities, one I always wanted for myself and never could attain. Living with him was like staying close to a mini-sun. Smiling even at dawn, when the alarm rings and all any normal person wants to do is throwing it against the wall.
The problem of the "opposites attract" concept is that it generally involves opposite tastes and ambitions in life. We were no different. Jake was crazy about sports and spent his free time running, climbing mountains and swimming when all I wanted to do was reading, going to the movies or to a museum. Sure, we tried to compromise but when you can't bond on anything with your significant other, the relationship is pretty much doomed.
Jake tried hard, as hard as me to keep us afloat. We had sex at least once a week and we asked each other how our day went every evening. The passion was long dead though. He was a decent lover, very attentive and sweet but I was never sated after love. He knew how to make me come but I never truly arrived if that makes sense.
After ten years of routine and nice conversations, I realized one morning that I couldn't waste away in a dead end relationship anymore. Jake and I loved each other but were not meant to be together. At first, I thought he knew that as well as I did but I was very surprised when I told him how I felt. He started crying and begged me to stay. After reasoning with him, he admitted we didn't have the most perfect relationship but wanted us to stay together anyway. I think he was mostly terrified about being alone. I couldn't blame him, so was I.
I moved out two weeks after that and spent the summer in my father's house, for the first time since I could remember. I started working at Forks High two months after moving in.
Edward Cullen was the thorn in my side. Since I first saw him, he was all I could think about, day and night. Like I told you, the first time I dreamt of him was quite graphic and left me panting like a dog, with visions of him pushing into me and fucking me into oblivion. I arrived that night, let me tell you…
That meeting in Banner's office was one of the most heated moments of my life. His presence was so real next to me I could almost feel his skin even though we weren't touching. It was such a terrifying feeling to feel connected to another person like this. I tried to rationalize it to the fact I was probably simply fantasizing about this gorgeous young man. I tried. After coming apart two more nights in a row, shouting my release so loud Charlie actually came at my door to check on me, I was forced to see it was more than a simple physical crush.
On Thursday afternoon, Mr. Banner came to see me after class and asked me to keep him updated about the Baudelaire project. He strongly encouraged me to speak to Edward before class tomorrow so we could agree on a schedule together. It was probably a good idea since I wouldn't have much time to discuss it with him during French. Trying to keep Mike Newton in his seat was a full- time job.
This could only meant one thing: I had to call Edward tonight. Oh God, how could I even do that? What could I tell him over the phone? I'd probably dream about his voice after talking to him…if I could talk at all.
Once at home, with Edward's number on a piece of paper reluctantly given by Mrs. Cope (what was this woman's problem by the way?), I stalled as much as I could. Grading papers, cleaning the kitchen, dining with Charlie, asking Charlie if he was going fishing, anything to delay that phone call. I was feeling Edward wouldn't be one simple student after that. Yeah, Bella, maybe you should have thought of that before agreeing to this project, don't you think?
I knew I couldn't put it off anymore, so around 8, I took a deep breath and dialed Edward Cullen's number. My heart was beating so fast I could hear it in my ears. I was about to drop the phone and give up like a coward when someone picked up.
"Hello?" A woman's voice, soft and mature answered. Who was that? An irrational feeling of jealousy overwhelmed me. I tried to keep my voice neutral though.
"Yes, can I speak to Edward Cullen? I'm his French teacher."
"Oh, you're Miss Swan, right? Edward told me about you."
"I'm sorry, Ms…?"
"Oh, I'm sorry Miss Swan, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Esme Cullen, Edward's mother."
I was such an idiot. Of course Edward would live with his mother, he was 17 for God's sake!
"Oh, yes of course Mrs Cullen, forgive me. I should have known who you were." I said all the while hitting my forehead with my right hand.
"I suppose you want to speak to Edward about this project he told me about. He sounded very enthusiastic when he told me about it."
"Really?", I smiled, remembering his expression when he explained how he felt about Paris. He made me want to go to Paris, with him as my guide.
"Well, you know Edward, he is quite introverted but I could sense he loved the idea of working with you."
"Hum…well…" I stuttered.
"Alright, dear I'll put him on. Can you hold for a minute?"
"Yes, sure, thank you Mrs Cullen."
The next minute was one of the longest of my life. I was bursting with anxiety and joy at the same time. Edward loved the idea of working with me…
"Yes? Edward speaking. "
Oh my god, he really had the best voice I'd heard in a man. Bella? Focus!
"Edward, hi. It's Miss Swan." There was a subtle gasp on the other line, subtle but I heard it.
"Miss Swan? Uuhh, good evening I guess."
"I'm sorry to bother you at this hour but I wanted to talk to you about the project."
"Oh. I mean, yes of course the project! Why else would you call, right?" He laughed softly, nervously. I almost lost track of what I was supposed to say.
"Yes, well…I wanted to know when we could meet to start working on it. Tomorrow is going to be busy in class so I preferred calling you. I hope you don't mind."
"No, don't worry about it. I'm glad you called." He cleared his throat. " I'm glad you called to talk about the project, I mean."
"Right." I'm sure I was redder than a tomato and hotter than a car hood in July. I certainly felt like I was burning. Everywhere.
"Well, I thought that we could meet during lunch break tomorrow to talk about it. We could grab a sandwich and start working?"
" Ok. Where do you want to meet?", he agreed.
"I guess after fourth period. We could meet at the café in Lennon Street, close to the school. Do you know where it is?"
"I think so."
"Ok, so I'll see you in class tomorrow."
"That you will. Good night, Miss Swan." He said very softly.
"Good night, Edward." I was glad he wasn't close to me right now or I'm sure I would have kissed him. Well, maybe I wasn't glad. How was I going to survive this project?
"Miss Swan?"
"Yes?"
"You didn't bother me at all."
Then, there was silence.
