Sorry that took so long. I was busy on the 4th of July. I mean, wasn't everyone?

I don't own anything, so enjoy!

Zelda sat on her bed, reading the Book of Legends. It was fascinating. She turned the page and stopped.

Legend of the Triforce The title read, with the symbol that was on the back of her hand. She read it, her eyes widening until they looked like saucers. She got up and ran to find Link and Ganondorf.

They were sitting in the kitchen, glaring at each other over their cups of tea. Steam rose slowly, but they never averted their eyes.

"Guys!" Zelda yelled, bursting into the kitchen. They never stopped staring at each other.

"Hold it, Zel. The Staring contest of the universe is going on. I can't lose." Ganondorf muttered.

"I beat you in everything else, and I'll beat you again." Link said lowly. Each of them knew that he was really talking about Zelda, not a staring contest. They each had the same though-Zelda will be MINE.

Zelda slapped each one of them on the cheek and slammed the book down.

"Hey!"

"Look at that!" She said, gesturing at the book. They leaned over.

"The legend of what people do on their honeymoon…" Ganondorf murmured, rubbing his cheek.

"OH MY GOD!" He and Link exclaimed at the same time. Zelda groaned.

"Not that one, you idiots! Although, yeah, that is pretty disgusting. Ah! That's not the point! The other one! The one on the next page!" She tapped it impatiently. Ganondorf and Link read silently, their eyes widening.

"GAH!" Link yelled. "What the-"

"This is nuts!" Ganondorf interrupted. "I have to die at like…twenty three! And Link's going to kill me!"

"And you're going to…imprison me!" Zelda yelled. "That's just…that's just wrong!"

"I don't believe it!" Link screamed, slamming his hand on the table.

"Who made this stupid legend!" Ganondorf demanded. Zelda's eyes narrowed.

"No idea. But I know who to ask." She growled, grabbing the book and storming out. Link and Ganondorf followed meekly. As mad as they were, Zelda was too dangerous to interfere with. They felt sorry for whoever she was going to.

Din, Farore, and Nayru sat around another table, drinking random drinks. Zelda stomped up and slammed the book down in front of them.

"What is the meaning of this?" She demanded furiously. Ganondorf and Link walked up.

"I will never-never-get captured by Ganondorf! And what is this about him dying at a young age? And Link killing him! And us falling in love! That's just…"

"Outrageous." Ganondorf cut it. "I don't want to die! I don't even want to take over the world! And capturing Zelda? Don't be stupid, she can kick my ass!"

"And I don't want to kill Ganondorf!" Link protested. They stood angrily over the goddesses. Nayru exchanged frightened glances with her sisters.

"Where-where did you get that?" Farore squeaked, reaching for the book. Zelda slammed her hand down on it, giving Farore a death glare.

"We're asking the questions here, missy." She snarled. Farore gulped and leaned back. Even Din didn't do anything. They were all too shocked.

"Explain!" Ganondorf yelled, drawing his sword.

"Don't threaten us, Brat!" Din scowled, standing up. Ganondorf got into a fighting position.

"Don't." Zelda said dangerously. Ganondorf lowered his sword. Zelda glared at the goddesses again.

"What. Is. This?" She said in a low, gravelly tone. Nayru took a shaky breath.

"We didn't want you to know…" She said. "But…you three are the Chosen Ones. That means…your destines have been loosely decided. Ganondorf, you will capture Zelda. Zelda, you will be powerless to stop him. Link, you will slay Ganondorf and save Zelda. Then you two will fall in love…"

"SAY WHAT?" Ganondorf screamed. Everyone assumed he was upset about dying.

Zelda swallowed a lump in her throat. She twirled around and stormed away. Ganondorf and Link followed.

They each went their separate ways. Zelda stormed out to the garden where her birthday celebration had been hosted. Link went to his room. Ganondorf went to the training room.

Their respective goddesses followed. Din walked in on Ganondorf wildly swinging his sword.

"Hey." She said. Ganondorf glared at her out of the corner of his eye before turning his back on her, ignoring her. Din sighed and looked at the ceiling.

"There comes a time in life when you just have to suck it up and take it like a man. Now is one of those times."

"Get real." Ganondorf snarled. "Maybe with some things, but this? Never, you psycho. I mean, you're telling me that I have to die at a young age. Die. And I'm supposed to just suck it up and take it?"

"Uh…yeah!" Din said rudely. Ganondorf rolled his eyes and scoffed. Din snorted.

"Grow up. The world doesn't revolve around you." She yelled. Ganondorf swung around, swinging his sword up, trying to slice her in half with rage. Din dodged and fell down.

"I HATE you. I hate you, Din. I wish you weren't my mom! I wish you…I wish you…I WISH YOU WOULD GO BURN IN THE GORON MINES FOREVER!" He threw the sword down with a loud metallic clang and stormed out of the room.

Din sighed and wondered how her sisters were doing. Why was she so affected by Ganondorf? Why did it matter if he liked her or not?

Nayru walked sadly out into the garden. Zelda was sitting, staring into the fountain. She was unblinking.

"Love…" Nayru whispered, standing behind her, holding her hands in front of her in a prayer-like stance.

"Leave me be." Zelda said in a low tone.

"Love, please. I meant not to hurt you."

"Well, things did not go as planned then, did they?" Zelda snarled. Nayru sighed and sat next to her. Zelda turned away and crossed her arms.

"I do have one question." She said bitterly. Nayru nodded. Zelda continued. "You are not my mother. So what about Link and Ganondorf? Where are their parents?" She didn't turn to look at Nayru. Nayru felt a sense of dread creep into her gut.

"Zelda…please forgive me."

"What? Why?" Zelda asked harshly. Nayru waved her hand over Zelda's head, wiping her memory clean. Zelda blinked.

"I don't want to talk to you!" She yelled; standing and storming off. She still remembered the triforce. Nayru sighed. That was such a deep memory, it could not be forgotten.

Farore's luck was going as good as her sister's. She was standing awkwardly in Link's room, fiddling with her hands.

"Link…"

"Go. Away." Link growled, stony faced. He wasn't facing her. Farore sighed.

"I'm sorry. I really am. You weren't supposed to know. I didn't mean for you to…" Farore trailed off, tears pricking her eyes. Link didn't stay to hear it. He stormed away, brushing moodily past her. Farore covered her face with her hands and started crying slightly.

"Ganondorf? Link?" Zelda whispered as she crept into their room in the middle of the night.

"Mmm…" Ganondorf purred. Link sat up.

"Don't mind him. He's only dreaming about boobs." He narrowed his eyes at Ganondorf. Zelda sighed and sat on the end of his bed.

"I feel much betrayed." She said. Link sat up and let his blankets fall into his lap. He wasn't sleeping with a shirt on that night. Zelda didn't take notice.

"I know you do, Zel." He said gently, reaching out to touch her shoulder. "Is there any way to get them to listen?"

"Not that I know of." Zelda said glumly.

"I know a way." Ganondorf smiled broadly, turning over and grinning evilly at them.


"Why did the brats want us?" Din asked. Nayru frowned.

"I do not know." She admitted. They sat in the living room, on the couch. The children had draped a blanket over a wire, so they couldn't see. Suddenly the curtain fell down. Zelda stood in the center.

"How it is." She said in a loud voice. "Hum dee hum. I am a stupid damsel in distress with no life. I learn proper manners, NOT what I should be learning. Such as how to save my kingdom from invasion. But I will never need that."

"Ah-HA!" Ganondorf leaped to her. "I will capture you and take your kingdom, because I obviously have a death wish." Ganondorf snarled at the Goddesses. They exchanged wary glances.

"Oh no! Because I am too weak to do anything, I have to wait for some hero to come and save me." Zelda said sarcastically.

"Behold! The hero! I will save you, fair maiden! Even though I don't know you, and HAVE A LIFE, It is my destiny, and it must be fulfilled!" Link said dramatically.

"Oh no you don't!" Ganondorf yelled, drawing his sword. Link drew his. Zelda gasped, and pretended to faint. Link and Ganondorf tapped swords lightly, doing a child's play of a battle. Zelda 'woke up.'

"Oh hero!" She exclaimed. Link had Ganondorf pined to the ground. He pretended to stab him.

"ACK! Oh pain, oh why great goddesses! Why did I have to die! I HAVE A LIFE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, BITCHES!" He cried, collapsing. Link walked over to Zelda.

"Oh, how I love you! Lets go have sex even though I don't know you and might already love someone from home!" He said. Zelda nodded.

"Yes! Even though I might already love someone of better rank." She cried happily. All their faces turned stony.

"How it should be!" Link yelled, him and Ganondorf storming off. Zelda stood center stage.

"I am the Princess of Hyrule. And as such, I have learned valuable magic and fighting skills." She said. Ganondorf walked up.

"Hello, Zelda. It is I, prince of the Guerudo. I am the only boy, so to keep the race going, I get to have sex with all the hot big boobed females. I don't have to rape YOU!"

"Oh joy." Zelda narrowed her eyes slightly. "What business do you have here, Ganon?"

"We are friends. I just thought we would like to skip joyously thought Hyrule Fields together."

"Enough tom foolery. What do you really want?" Zelda smiled.

"Well, because I HAVE A LIFE, and enjoy sex with large breasted females, I don't want to take over your kingdom." He said sarcastically, tapping his fingers together and pointedly bugging his eyes out at the goddesses.

"That's…nice." Zelda said.

"YES IT IS. Perhaps we could work out a trade system that each of our societies benefit from."

"That would be very agreeable." Zelda nodded.

"Hello! I came to deliver the milk from Ordon!" Link said. Zelda smiled.

"Hello, Link. It is so nice that we are all friends." She said, taking his hand. They all bowed. The goddesses stared at them in disbelief. They gave the goddesses one final glare before storming out.

Farore put a hand to her chin in shock. Nayru sat there blankly. Din stood up furiously.

"Well, that's just so FREAKING perfect!" She spat, kicking her chair over.

Zelda, Link, and Ganondorf sat brooding outside the house. None of them ever wanted to see the goddesses again. Zelda felt like tearing something.

"Why'd they do that to us!" Link yelled, pounding the ground with his fist. Zelda put a comforting hand on his back. Ganondorf stood up and punched his shoulder.

"Ganondorf!" Zelda yelled. She stood up. Ganondorf stood fuming. Link glared and rubbed his shoulder. Zelda ran off, unable to stand them any longer.

"What the hell man?" Link yelled.

"You think you're so great? You think you will have Zelda all to yourself?" He yelled back.

"What?" Link could hardly believe his ears.

"I won't let you have her! I won't let the legend come true!" Ganondorf yelled.

"What the-who says I want her?" Link yelled, knowing it was a complete lie.

"I see how you look at her!"

"And you're better? You stare at her boobs every time she isn't looking!"

"Shut up!" Ganondorf screamed, drawing his sword.

"Bring it, pig!" Link retorted, drawing his own sword. They ran at each other. They saw a small figure move off to their right, and then it ran up to them as they were about to clash weapons.

Zelda stood between them, holding their swords off with her own. She glared at both of them. They look ashamed, and lowered their swords. Zelda continued to glare at both of them.

"Did you…uh…hear us?" Link blushed madly.

"Yeah, Link. I did. And I already knew Ganondorf stared at my breasts, thank you." She snapped at him. "Have you both no intelligence? Don't you see? The legends coming true! Any guesses why? Because you can't accept the fact that I'm not mildly attracted to either of you!" She screamed, sheathing her sword and storming off.

Link and Ganondorf stood staring at each other as she left. They each fell to the ground, Link on his knees and Ganondorf on his butt.

"I can't believe it." Link shook his head. Ganondorf grabbed his hair.

"How could we think like that? Zelda can kick my butt! There's no way I can take over Hyrule."

"Yeah…" Link muttered. "I can't believe she isn't attracted to either of us."

"Well, you got it on with Ilia." Ganondorf reminded him sourly. Link glared at him.

"Ilia…" he uttered under his breath. He sighed and shook his head. Ganondorf frowned. Then he held out his hand.

"Truce?" He asked. Link looked at his hand warily. Then he clasped it in his own.

"Truce." He agreed.

I want to thank everyone who read this for 6,000 hits. So thank you.

The legend of what people do on their honeymoon is purely for humor reasons.

The Goron Mines-in this chapter-is the equivalence of telling someone to burn in Hell. Because they don't really have a Hell in Hyrule, just telling someone to burn is insulting.

Yes, the love twist was intentional. Zelda not loving either of them is also intentional. Guess why.

If anyone is upset that the legend states Link and Zelda fall in love...I don't really care. Complain all you want, nothing's changing. It's relevant to the story.

Review. Now. Click the little button...