A/N: Twilight isn't mine but I wish I owned Edward's heart and could help him repair it. Thank you for your reviews last chapter, I was touched and amused by your reactions. Bella was suddenly the target of many attacks and Edward the subject of everyone's affection…and more ;). Brace yourself, the heartache is not over…

«I liked it. ». Who would have thought three little words would shatter my world as I knew it? Until I heard them, murmured anxiously, her frightened eyes ready to deny them at any moment, I was a boy. In love, but a boy and too afraid to even try to act on my feelings. Everything changed.

Not to be over dramatic or anything but she had freed me when saying them. I was in prison, the jail of my inhibitions keeping me from living. But then I knew, I KNEW I had to be the one to do something. Bella was clearly ashamed and astounded by the revelation she just made. I was in shock but started processing her words. She liked it, meaning she liked feeling my dick under her, meaning she probably wanted me. I wasn't delusional enough to think she loved me but maybe, MAYBE, she wanted me.

So, what was I going to do? Stand here like an idiot, wait until she left me to my loneliness again? No. But I had to be sure. So I did something I never envisioned myself doing. I caged her in my arms and forced her to tell me the truth. And she did, she repeated she liked it.

I may have looked like a self-assured man when I did that but trust me, I've never been more nervous in my life. What if she rejected me, what would I do then? My fear evaporated when she looked in my eyes and I saw she was about to cry. My heart broke then and I was possessed by the desire to comfort her, warm her. So I did. I kissed her and neither of us was cold anymore. Actually, it was so hot in there you could bake eggs.

When Bella slipped her delicious tongue in my mouth, I almost blew my load, right there. After a much needed picturing of Emmett in Mom's flowery dress, I managed to keep minimum control and pulled Bella into my desperate arms. Holding her like I dreamed of, feeling every curve I could reach was almost better than kissing her. I had practically no experience, except for Jenny Watson in ninth grade whose retainer had been a big turn off. Still, it came naturally when I was with Bella. I kissed, sucked and licked and it was never weird or sloppy. She seemed to think so too because she kept whimpering and moaning softly, echoing my own primal noises. It was the most incredible experience of my life and my elation was palpable in my frantic movements. Her creamy neck was calling me and I was about to pay homage to it when Esme called, asking if we were done.

I felt Bella stiffen and her whole body took a defensive stance before she flew out of my room. She had not let me any time to talk, to tell her I loved her, anything to keep her with me. She ran down the stairs and through the open door, I could hear her rushed excuses of having plans and her hasty exit.

I had a crazy urge to run after her but even in my just kissed, euphoric state, I was wise enough to repress it. Mom would have flipped and we certainly didn't need that. Bella would have completely panicked and our neighbors would have gotten a good show. I sat on my bed and sighed deeply. Bella's reaction was not a good sign for the future. She had literally run away from me. Was she disgusted, or simply shocked by what she had just done? I couldn't decipher her reaction. I needed to talk to her, as soon as I could, but I needed a plan that didn't sound too suspicious.

I came down for dinner, hopefully calmer and with a serene face. I relished those quiet moments with my family but I could feel my whole body vibrating. I needed to see Bella, now. I told Mom about a buddy who asked me to come and play video games and she didn't even blink. A few weeks ago, she would have asked for his parents' number and checked with them if it was ok. I could see Emmett observing me though. He had a strange look on his face, like he knew something I didn't.

I left and went straight to chief Swan's place. I had deduced she lived there but maybe I was wrong. From where I was on the other side of the street, I was comforted to see her car in front of the house. There was light on the first floor, probably in someone's bedroom, maybe hers. It made my heart beat faster. I was very nervous. I didn't even know what I would say to her or if I could even talk to her. If her father was in the house, it could be very awkward. The door looked like an enormous giant ready to devour me if I dared approach.

I didn't have the time to wallow in my misery for too long though. A black Jeep came to a stop next to Bella's car. I watched with dread as my Gym teacher, Mr. Grant, walked to Bella's door without any hesitation and knocked twice, a smug smile on his face.

What was he doing here? Maybe he was a friend of hers, I reasoned with myself. Yeah, Cullen, a friend dressed to kill and with a bouquet of red roses in his hands. She opened the door and my heart was in my throat. I couldn't see her very clearly but it appeared she was wearing a nice dress, different from the one she had earlier. More provocative and sexier. But again, she could have worn a potato sack and I would have found her sexy.

She let James in, a weird smile on her face. What I was afraid of, them going on a date, happened because, a few minutes later, they went out together and climbed into Mr. Grant's car. As to make my misery more complete, he softly kissed her hand and she let him. She let him touch her like that, an intimate gesture. I was such an idiot for thinking I had a chance with her. They left shortly after and that's when I collapsed on the wheel. Big, deep sobs shook my entire body and I realized then that this awful night had released all the pain and anguish from the last couple of weeks. I cried for my dad, for my mom and my brother, for myself and my stupidity.

I don't know how long I stayed there but it was probably a long time since almost all the lit houses I had seen before were now dark, their occupants certainly asleep. With a resigned sigh, I was about to start the car and go home when Mr. Grant's Jeep came back. Great, you should stay for the goodnight kiss. I was a masochist apparently, I couldn't move. If she kissed him, I would know she'd played me and seen me as a kid, nothing more.

They both came out of the car. I braced myself for the inevitable broken heart I would have to live with and nurse by myself. I was relieved because they didn't kiss but Mr. Grant softly caressed her jaw and she smiled at him. Not much better really. Welcome to reality, Cullen.

He left and Bella went back into the house. I was glued to my wheel and didn't know what to do. When I saw her get on her terrace with a cup, I almost lost it and ran to her. But then, I remembered what happened. How she had lost it this afternoon, how she had practically pushed me from her. It was clear she didn't want me.

I started the car and because fate hated me, she saw me instantly. I guess she recognized the Volvo because she abruptly got up from her chair and started coming towards me. I could barely make out her face but she looked frantic and started calling my name. She probably was wondering what I was doing there and panicking. I bolted out of there, the tires screeching on the road. At least, my exit was spectacular.

Ok, don't kill the author or you won't know what happens next ;). Just remember, they didn't kiss…Have faith, dear readers and as always, let me know what you think. Next chapter, probably Wednesday, in BPOV.