A/N: I own Edward's shaking arm. Thanks for everybody reviewing and reading my story! Thanks to everyone who put it in their favorites or alerts, please share your thoughts with me, reviews are the main reason I write, it's like my personal brand of heroine ;)!

After changing from my serious dress into my date night outfit, I feel a pang of expected remorse and guilt. I know it's ridiculous and completely crazy to feel this way about a student but I can't help it. He should mean nothing to me, be one among the others but that, he isn't. He's the light of the room when he's there, the burning and shining point of my existence.

After that kiss, the heat has turned into a raging fire, both in my heart and in my body. I feel myself get wet just thinking about his tongue and the way it rolled with mine, or the way he held me so ferociously against him. Still, I know what I did was wrong and falls completely on my shoulders. Even if Edward played a part, and God know he played it well, it was my only responsability. I never should have said what I said, never should have allowed myself to fall for him.

Yes, I've fallen. I'm so in love with the boy it hurts me, physically. It's a rare occurrence for me. I'm the kind of girl who always acts according to what her head tells her, not her feelings. It's another proof that he has messed up with my life. Not voluntarily of course, but I almost resent him for it.

The firm knocking on my door interrupts my inner thoughts. Sighing and suddenly not so resolved to forget Edward, I walk down the stairs and prepare myself for a long night. What was I thinking when I agreed to go out with James? As if it could help me not to think about Edward. My stupidity never ceases to amaze me these days. In spite of that, it will be good for me to go out and think about something else, talk with someone else. When you work with teenagers, it's sometimes difficult not to lose contact with the world of adults, not to be drowned in the kids' drama and stories. So, it's good that I try. Alice will be so proud.

James is surprisingly handsome and dressed up. In a very nice black shirt and grey pants, he is very different from his usual sweat suit at work. He smiles widely, detailing my burgundy dress with hungry eyes. I feel instantly uncomfortable and embarrassed. How am I going to get out of this one? I feel even worse when he hands me a bouquet of roses.

He takes me to a quaint little Italian restaurant in Port Angeles, and I'm surprised by his choice. I would have imagined a pretentious place, aimed to impress. The conversation is quite pleasant as well and soothes my bruised heart a little. Still, I can't help myself from imagining Edward and me at this same table, lost in each other's eyes and holding hands.

James is not the idiot I always imagined him to be. He's actually pretty smart and funny. I think he understands that I'm never going to fall for him or even surrender to his advances. The way I hold myself is a clear message to him but he doesn't seem to mind. He tells me about his life and asks about mine. He looks genuinely interested in me and I start to think he may just be lonely, like me.

I also start to envision him as a potential friend, and not as a predator any more.

Not that I'm trying very hard but Edward is in my thoughts all evening. When James gets me home after a late drink, I can almost feel his presence. It's very strange but it's like he's next to me. James confirms his new status of friend when he refrains from kissing me and caresses my jaw. It doesn't feel sexual, it's just tender and careful. I appreciate the intention and smile at him. He's a nice guy, how surprising.

We're in the first days of March and it's a warm night. Spring is not far, I can feel it. I decide to treat myself with a cup of tea on the deck and sit in the cozy chair, sighing softly. This night hasn't been bad but I still have to face the consequences of my actions. I have to be smart and collected. I can't let my stupid emotions to rule my life anymore. I must focus myself on the project and not on Edward anymore. I nod to myself, comforted that I'm making the right choice.

At this exact moment, a car on the other side of the street violently starts, startling me. I'm tempted to shake my head at the irresponsible driver until I see it more clearly in the streetlight. It's a Volvo. My heart starts pounding and all my wise decisions fly away and desert me. I go to where the car is and sure, I can see Edward at the wheel, his beautiful face not very visible but apparently devastated. I want to cry and fall into his arms. I feel so guilty and frantic. Is he ever going to forgive me?

He has seen me with James, maybe from the beginning. I start calling his name in a desperate attempt to keep him from going, from leaving me. He does though, in a screeching racket.

My night is sleepless. I toss and turn trying to find rest but it keeps eluding me. "Serves you right!" my heart screams and for once, my head has nothing to say. I finally get up at six in the morning and find a note from Charlie, saying he went fishing with his buddy Harry Clearwater and won't be home until tonight. It adds to my distress, as I won't be able to talk to him and distract myself.

So I clean the house from the attic to the garage and put all my energy in the meaningless task. I grade some assignments during the afternoon and plan all my lessons for next week. Around 4 o'clock, there's nothing else to do and I feel restless. After watching a little TV, I decide I need some motherly loving. I call Renée.

She immediately knows something's off. Maybe the tone of my voice betrayed me.

"What's wrong baby? Tell me." She demands sweetly.

"Nothing…" I lie. "Just tired, had a lot of work to do." I sound ridiculous, even to my own ears.

"Bella, honey. I know there's something you're not telling me." Before I can protest, she adds "It's alright, I understand. But, don't let it fester, baby. Talk to someone you trust, even if it's not me, just talk about it. You'll feel better." After a few more soothing words, we hang up.

She's right. I need to tell someone about my situation or I'm going to go crazy, alone at home. Who do I trust enough, who will understand and not judge me? Easy choice. After a little pep talk, I drive to Café Orwell.

Heidi is at behind the bar, washing some cups. There's a customer, alone, at the back of the café and he doesn't seem to be from around here. Heidi looks up and smiles when she sees me. I'm overwhelmed with remorse for the way I treated her the other day. After a few apologies and her enquiry about my pale face, I spill my guts to her. I tell her about my feelings, my desire and most importantly, the kiss. I expect her to judge me, to gasp and throw me out of there but she does no such thing. She listens, nods her head and whispers "dear, dear" every time I start crying, which is a lot.

I hear the entrance bell ring and see Heidi's face fall. She gasps this time and my curiosity wins. I turn around and see none other than my love. He looks shocked and angry to see me. He starts to move back and I know I have to react and do something but I can't, I'm transfixed. Fortunately, my friend has the reflex to nudge me and I move, finally. I run to him actually and snatch his arm before he can leave. I feel it shaking beneath my touch. I'm sure I'm in no better condition.

His shining eyes and trembling breath convince me. My voice comes out scratchy and tender.

"Don't leave please…We need to talk."

It was hard chapter to write, this one. I could feel Bella's pain, let me tell you!

So James was not such a bad guy, see? If there's something I've learned from my job is never to judge from appearances, you may be surprised…XO Steph