Chapter Twelve: Clearing the air.

The short but decisive knock at the door immediately engaged Sam's senses, he was in that serene place between dream and reality as he lay on Addison's sofa, his head resting in her lap. Addison started to rise in response to the knock.

"It's ok I'll go" Sam said getting up from the sofa and planting a kiss on Addison's forehead as he made his way across the living room and towards the door. He stretched his arms as he approached the door, moving his shoulders to relive the stiff sensation that built up as a result of the earlier flight and lying on the sofa for the best part of the afternoon. As he opened the door he was a little surprised to see Pete standing in the doorway.

"Pete" Sam's greeting was fuelled with intrigue.

"Sam, I, is Addison home?" Pete voice came a little unsteadily, despite his acceptance of Sam and Addison, in fact despite his happiness for them it was still strange to see Sam answering the door of the house which had for the last few months been a part of him, been a part of his life, the house he had slept in, been happy in, fought in.

"Yeah sure, come in" Sam answered moving aside to allow Pete to enter the house.

Addison, having heard Pete's voice coming from the door, was already on her feet when he entered the living room. It was strange to see Pete looking like a stranger in her house.

"Addison," Pete's voice had an air of nervousness about it "it's Naomi, you need to come.."

"Naomi?" Sam's voice cut through Pete's explanation, "Naomi, is she ok?

Pete looked at Sam, this was going to be hard for him because right now Pete knew that it wasn't him that Naomi needed.

Pete looked from Sam to Addison "It's William, he's dead."

Pete's words created a heavy silence in the room and for a moment, a moment that was already all too familiar to the three of them, the world ceased to turn, tick ceased to follow tock and everything seemed to fade into sepia tone memory.

"Addison?" Sam's voice was the first to break the silence and bring everything back into focus.

'Yeah, I," Addison's mind struggled to recover from the shock as she willed her limbs to move "yeah" she said searching for her keys and phone and throwing them into her handbag.


Addison stopped momentarily outside Naomi's office, Naomi had been strong for her over and over and now it was time for her to be strong, to be there. She knew Naomi would be at work, like most great partnerships they worked because they were different, because they each offered what the other lacked, but when it came to dealing with life Addison knew all too well that they both turned to work to distract them, to drown them.

Addison pushed the office door open and entered the room. Naomi didn't react to her presence – as if her best friends arrival was inevitable. Reliable. Naomi was sat at her desk, her face totally devoid of expression, looking beyond the distance and mechanically picking chocolates from the box infront of her and placing them into her mouth. Addison moved silently to the chair at Naomi's desk, she sat down and without a word took a chocolate from the box and, in a show of silent understanding, supported her friend in a way no one else could.

"Dell baked cakes," Naomi's words came between mindless bites "when I needed to eat Dell backed cakes, good cakes." Naomi's voice started to show the signs of cracking.

"He did," Addison replied remembering the chocolate covered cake Dell used to bring "good cakes"

"He baked cakes and now I need cake and he isn't here and..." Naomi couldn't manage anymore words as she started to break down, her mind no longer able to ignore the feelings that were consuming her.

Addison got up from her chair and went to the other side of the desk, she knew there was nothing she could do, nothing she could do to bring Dell or William back but she could be there, she could be a shoulder to cry on she could be a best friend.

"It's ok," she began as she approached Naomi.

"It's not ok Addie," Naomi said getting up from her chair "it's not ok, Dell's dead because he was trying to help Maya and now William is dead, people are dying and I don't know what to do, I don't know how to cope with it," Naomi was sobbing now, "I create life Addie, I give people life, make people happy and I don't know how to deal with death I don't...don't..." Naomi tried hard to explain herself, to explain what was going on inside of her but the truth was she didn't know, she didn't know what she was feeling because it was all too raw and hard to process.

"It's ok Nae, it's ok" Addison said enveloping Naomi in hug that said she knew it wasn't ok but they had to believe that it would be.

Naomi allowed Addison to hold her, to soothe her and she let the tears she had been holding back flow and provide some relief.

"Come on," said Addison loosening her grip but keeping her arm protectively around Naomi's shoulder "let's go home."


Addison was relieved that Sam was gone by the time they got to her house, she needed time with Naomi, she wanted to be there for her.

"When did everything change Addie?" Naomi asked as the two women sat on the deck drinking much needed wine "Maya grew up, death moved in, took over, love became this complicated thing that hurt, we, we fell apart, fell away, I became a cheater... when did it all change? When did all go wrong?"

"Nothing went wrong Nae, it went different," Addison answered slightly uncomfortable in her new role as the optimistic friend "life, it didn't go as we planned, as we thought it would but you change your plans, you realise that plans well they're just that – plans not certainties, certainties are the present, the here and now and that's all we have, it's what she should work with, be grateful for, we spend so much time planning, looking into the future, imagining what life will be, what we want it to be that we forget to enjoy the here and now."

"You're right, I know you're right Addie but why does it feel like the here and now is bad, like bad things keep happening no matter what I do, no matter what choices I make, the bad things just keep rolling on in" Naomi's voice contained drink-fuelled humour, Addison knew Naomi well and she knew she had had enough to drink.

"Come on Nae, it's been a long day, you should get some sleep" Addison rose to her feet and motioned for her friend to do the same and go inside.


Sam let himself into Addison's house and made his way towards the stairs. He had been discreetly watching Addison and Naomi from his bedroom window, he was glad to see them both talking again, it was refreshing to see them both down on the deck, like old times and he smiled to himself as he thought of how familiar yet strange the scene was, the same two women, the same deck but very different circumstances. When he looked at them now it wasn't Naomi that he stared at, it wasn't Naomi's body language that seemed familiar and it wasn't Naomi's body that he saw in vivid detail when he closed his eyes. He could have opened the window, could have listened to their conversation but he kept his distance, kept the window shut because he knew that they needed a relationship without him, that their relationship was not about him, it was a relationship that had to exist without him, outside of him, despite him. Sam made his way to the top of the stairs and headed across the landing to Addison's room.

"Hi Sam," Naomi's voice came as a shock to Sam's ears, he hadn't expected her to still be in the house, he had assumed that when she and Addison had left the deck Naomi had gone home – he hadn't expected to find her in Addison's spare room.

Sam looked through the bedroom door that had been left slightly ajar to reveal Naomi lying in the double bed that Addison always insisted on keeping made up in case of guests.

"Naomi" Sam said as she entered the bedroom, his voice couldn't disguise the shock created by her unexpected presence but the absence of the need to cover his tracks and lie about his reasons for being in the house were strangely absent.

"I thought you'd gone, sorry, I..." Sam explained as he headed towards the bed.

"Shh" Naomi interrupted him as she used her head to gesture towards the chair on the other side of the room that held a curled up, sleeping Addison.

Sam looked across the room as Naomi motioned towards the chair, of course she was here, she wouldn't leave a friend, she wouldn't leave Naomi. Sam intentionally made his movements lighter and quieter as he sat down in the chair that was beside Naomi.

"I'm sorry Naomi, to hear about William, I'm sorry that..." Sam looked for the right words to say.

"It's ok Sam," Naomi managed a smile.

A stagnant silence fell between the two of them as both of them searched for the right thing to say, for something to say. Sam looked at the floor.

"I'm sorry Sam" Naomi new what she wanted to say, needed to say but there were no words that seemed to cover what had happened between them.

"Naomi..." Sam didn't want her to have to think about them now, she'd already had a tough day and raking up the past wasn't going to help.

"No, Sam, we've...I've spent long enough avoiding this conversation, avoiding what has happened between us. I want to say sorry Sam, I'm sorry for the way I treated you, I'm sorry for not being there for Maya, for leaving you to deal with it all and I'm sorry for our broken marriage Sam" Naomi felt a slight relief as the words left her mouth, words that she'd wanted to say for a long time.

"Our marriage wasn't broken Naomi, I don't believe it was broken, I can't believe it was broken because I look at our daughter, our beautiful daughter as she holds our granddaughter in her arms and I know, I believe that we had a wonderful marriage, a marriage that showed us happiness and love and I know that it wasn't perfect Naomi and I know it couldn't have lasted any longer, we couldn't have lasted any longer but we didn't break anything Naomi, we made things, we made a daughter and we will share her, all parts of her, for the rest of our lives. We were a team Nae, a good team and that doesn't have to stop because we stopped loving each other, because we stopped communicating, stopped fighting." Sam felt the air start to re-enter his lungs as the words left his mouth and entered the stillness of the room.

"Sam," Naomi touched Sam's arm as she digested his words, made sense of what he'd said, this conversation had been a long time coming and she was glad that they had cleared the air, started to clear the air. "I know what we had was real and I don't regret it, I'll never regret it, what we did, breaking up, it was for the best, we loved each other enough to let each other go, to have a chance at finding happiness."

Sam nodded in response.

"You have to look after her," Naomi took a deep breath as she changed the subject "you have to look after her because she runs, she hides, she tries to pretend that the bad things will go away if she ignores them"

Sam smiled as he realised that Naomi was talking about Addison, that at the same time as giving him her blessing she was also warning him against hurting her best friend.

"I'll take care of her," Sam smiled. "Thank you" Sam's thanks didn't need any further explanation, he knew what it had taken Naomi to get to this point, he knew that it had been hard for her to accept his and Addison's relationship but he also knew that she understood the happiness they had found in each other.

"Goodnight Sam" Naomi said as she settled her head back into the pillow.

"Good night Naomi" Sam replied with a smile of both comfort and understanding as he left the chair at her side.

Sam made his way around the foot of the bed and over to the chair where Addison was sleeping, she hadn't left her friend, she'd been there, she'd taken care of her and now it was time for him to take care of her. He slid one arm underneath her bare knees and the other supported her back as he lifted her out of the chair. He held her close as he navigated his way towards the bedroom door. Once out on the landing he used his foot to close the door before carrying Addison into her bedroom and placing her on the bed.