CHAPTER NINTEEN

September gave way to October. With it came an invitation to a Halloween ball. Without pausing to consider, Selene refused to attend. Michael took the stiff vellum parchment from her fingers and hid a smile. He left her glowering on the side gallery, promising to return at sundown. He returned an hour past twilight, accompanied by a vampire wearing impossibly high heels and red lipstick. They were laden with boxes and their laughter echoed up the sidewalk.

They stepped into the foyer, calling for Selene. She came to the top of the stairs, shaking her head. "No," she said. "Absolutely not. I don't care what is in those boxes."

"It won't hurt you to look," Michael motioned his head toward the parlor.

Selene ground her teeth. She slowly descended the staircase, cursing the father of her child and cursing herself. She felt unbalanced and unsure. Her pregnancy was more visible with each week that passed. The hard, round knot deep in her belly was now obvious to anyone who looked closely enough. Accustomed to the form fitted clothing of a Death Dealer, Selene felt uncomfortable in the dress that swirled about her feet. But most unsettling of all…she felt shame. How had she allowed this pregnancy to happen? Why had she done nothing to prevent it? At the bottom step she looked up, painfully conscious of the woman at Michael's side.

"Honey, this is Leland," Michael said as he set down his packages.

"Hello," Selene said as she entered the room. "I'm Selene." She held out her hand in greeting.

"Yes, I know." Leland took her hand and smiled. "I ran into Michael on Royal Street. I hope you don't mind."

"Mind?"

Leland laughed, sweeping her hand toward the sofa. "I wanted to see how these costumes look."

Selene frowned. "I'm sorry Michael didn't tell you. I'm not attending your ball."

Michael opened a long, narrow box. "Maybe this will change your mind." He held up a gorgeous concoction. "You would be beautiful as Empress Josephine."

Selene stared at him as if he had taken temporary leave of his sanity. Leland let her hand drop and stepped back, studying the costume. "Oh!" she exclaimed, trying to lighten the moment. "What a stunning dress!"

"Are you serious?" Selene exploded. "Right now, at this very minute, humans are rounding up every last vampire and lycan left overseas. And you want me to wear that…" she pointed. She was furious. "You actually want me to wear that to a costume ball? While our kind is being hunted to extinction? Like hell I will." She turned on her heel and marched back up the stairs.

"Can you see yourself out?" Michael quietly asked. "I need to talk to her."

"No, no." Leland answered. "I'll do it." She didn't wait for Michael's answer.

She found Selene staring out the window in an unlit bedroom. The glow from an outside street lamp was the only illumination. Leland quietly sat, studying Selene. The silence in the room deepened, spread itself along the floorboards.

"I saw you once, you know…" she finally said.

Selene turned to her.

"In Budapest…with your father."

"My father?" Selene asked sharply.

"Viktor," Leland clarified.

Selene shook her head and Leland said "I know he wasn't your father. That's not what I meant. Maybe I should have said 'I saw you with your maker.' Either way, I could see that you meant a great deal to him."

"When was this?" Selene snapped.

"At an awakening ceremony. Viktor sat on a golden throne and you presented him with a jeweled sword. Do you remember? The entire assembly bowed down before you."

Selene nodded. "That was five hundred years ago! But I remember it as if were yesterday."

Leland leaned forward. "Well, it wasn't. So many things have changed. So many of the old traditions are dead."

"And now Viktor is dead," Selene said savagely. "Did you know that?"

"Yes. But no one here blames you, I want you to know."

Selene sighed heavily. "No one here knows anything about it." She turned back to the window.

"Here is what I do know. The old leaders ruled with an iron fist. Selene, those days are gone." Leland said. "Do you know what I remember most about Viktor? About that night? The way he held you in his power. He followed you with his eyes that entire ceremony and you never made a move he didn't approve of. Over three hundred vampires bowed before you and yet you were powerless before him! What kind of life is that? What kind of love of a father is that for his daughter? "

Selene didn't answer. Leland continued, "If he were alive right now, do you think he'd have allowed you to leave Europe with Michael?"

"Of course not!" Selene cried.

"You're right. He would have killed Michael first. Or you. I say good riddance to the old ways! If Viktor were alive right now…right this minute, he'd expect you to be at his side, fighting the humans. Or killing werewolves. You're going to think I'm heartless, but I'm going to say this anyway…maybe the purge you left behind is the best thing that could have happened to Europe. Let the humans finish what we should have done years ago!"

Selene came to stand before Leland. She shook her head. "You're wrong."

"Am I? If I'm so wrong, then why are you pregnant? Why are you living with Viktor's enemy? Where is the conviction of your words?"

"I'm not…"

"Yes, you are. You don't have to hide it. No vampire or werewolf here is going to raise a hand against you or try to take your child from you."

"I don't want our species to die," Selene said. "I want to fight with them, defend them. It's what Viktor created me to do."

Leland reached out, took Selene's hand. "If you do that, you are going to break Michael's heart."

"I know," Selene said softly. She looked down, closed her eyes. "I know I will."

"Well, whatever you decide, you can't do anything until after the baby is born. Let's go downstairs and see if what they say is true about empire waists."

"Which is what?"

"They hide a multitude of sins. Even a baby."

"I'm not going, I told you."

"Do it for Michael, then. You can do that much for him, can't you?" With that, Leland rose and left the room. Her reproach hung in the air, accusing Selene. She continued to sit in the darkness, swimming…drowning in apologies. Apologies for her unyielding nature, for everything she was and for everything she was not. For so many things… for the man whose faith and fidelity she held in her hand … for the child she could not find it within herself to nurture or desire… By the time Selene walked down the stairs, Leland was gone, leaving behind only the faintest trace of her perfume. The boxes were once again closed and neatly stacked, their finery laid away.