A/N:

The last chappie did end up a lot more gory than what I had in mind but I couldn't imagine Sirius getting freaked by anything remotely mundane, so to make him really react I needed something that really grossed him out (along with me and everyone else!) :)

At first I was slightly in two minds over it but in the end I decided that it was a keeper. I wanted to see Sirius lose his cool and I mean really losing it and what better way than to make him go mad? With Lily I wanted to show how guilt over a death would never go away no matter how much a person tries to move on. Even though she doesn't know how her parents died, in her mind she has already made up her own version, which will ultimately be the worst.

Anyways, this chapter was getting insanely long so I chopped it into two!

Thank you all for reviewing. I love u! xxx

REMINDER:

James could see it in his eyes. Madness. Sirius had gone crazy, beyond reasoning and beyond control. Left with no choice James readied his wand.

Amongst a ring of icy snow, lost in a cloud laced with magic and confusion, the two best friends began a duel.

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A CAULDRON OF BREWING TROUBLE

High up in Hogwarts, tucked in the warm dormitory room that the Marauders shared, the three Guardians were having a heated discussion.

"Animal instincts pah!" Nutmeg said haughtily. "What animal do you know of that instinctively makes farting noises as soon as a person talks?"

Chewy, despite hanging upside down, released a foot and pointed it at Tatty who ruffled her feathers indignantly appearing to be offended. "How else am I to explain these inexplicable urges to make such noises whenever that Sirius boy talks?"

Nutmeg licked a paw and smoothed it over her ears. "You can't- OUCH!" The cat sprung up and startled Chewy into taking flight. Tatty's eyes grew wide and she ruffled her feathers disapprovingly.

"That hurt!" The cat hissed prodding about on the bed with her claws extended.

"What happened?" Tatty queried with interest.

Nutmeg could sense Sirius distantly. A shadow of conducted pain crept under her furry paws, the cat spasmed again. "I think the Mongrel has gotten himself into trouble." She explained shaking her whiskers. The problem with being a Guardian, she decided, was when one must guard a group of wizard teenagers. Take your eyes off them for a few minutes and it's like they deliberately try to get themselves killed. Nothing but a cauldron of brewing trouble! "Pfeh! What kind of wizard is he if he can't even look after himself?" She muttered and the three hurried off straight away.

"I think my one's also in trouble." Tatty said in her silent flight along the corridor. "I hope he doesn't die, he was awfully funny."

"They're not supposed to die." Nutmeg reminded her forcefully. "At least not when we're around." It was an unwittingly ominous comment that even then, managed to hang heavily in the atmosphere like a bitter after taste.

"Mine's just fine." Chewy boasted. If only he knew…

---

"I'll kill you!" Sirius was seized by a gripping fervour that James Potter had to die. They all had to die! Every last one of them!

Who?

All.

Why?

Because.

If there was a reason then that was it.

Because.

That was all. No widely passionate explanation was needed, nor could it express his absolute conviction to kill. Determination sliced with a flinty edge decreed that whether through years of meticulous planning or this one duel, Sirius Black would see it through. James Potter must die. From behind a veil of madness he pointed his wand.

James was instantly blasted off his feet by a spectacularly powerful curse and in the split second he lay there completely winded another curse struck him and he was air borne once more. He landed heavily on ground that sloped at an angle and he used it to help him roll away just in time. The space he'd landed on erupted into a fountain of snow.

Sure James' wand was readied but in the true essence of the word he was nowhere near ready. The duel was initiated but high reluctance and disbelief clouded his ability to respond in any way apart from defence. "What the hell are you doing!" James cried and dodged again. For the life of him he had no idea what had gotten into Sirius. "OI!" With each near miss he was rapidly becoming less concerned as to why his friend was behaving like a nutcase and more concerned with saving his own skin.

"Diffndo!" Sirius was good. Quick and relentless were his spells and with deadly accuracy. James was on the move constantly. He needed to keep moving.

Underestimating or overestimating always played a major role in duelling and getting the right expectation was often half the battle won, however, when both opponents knew each other's skills inside and out there was no expectation to be had. It was like a very sharp double-edged sword and the only thing that determined the way it dropped was so solely based on skill.

Duel now, ask questions later.

If James had to, he would knock him out and tie him to a chair for interrogation later because he sure as hell wasn't going to get any answers when he was busy trying to evade attacks.

"Protego!" James shouted and a severing spell ricocheted off him harmlessly. As far as shield charms went he knew that his was stronger than anything Sirius could possibly throw at him but he couldn't stand there forever in his shield. Trying to disarm Sirius would be nothing short of suicide and James had seen first hand how he would counter attack to the spell; not something he ever wanted to experience ever.

Full frontal assault was Sirius' forte, which was why he was currently being hammered down by blasting curses plus a variety out-of-class ones that Sirius was very good at casting. To get a battering in James had to out manoeuvre him first or at least catch him off guard.

He too had his own arsenal of strictly beyond N.E.W.T curses, but complicated spells were usually effective at the price of time and more power. They would be no good if Sirius could spot them a mile off. It was for this same reason that Sirius had yet to pull out the real dark curses, the ones that would get them packaged and owled straight to Azkaban. Not that it seemed like Sirius would care in his state, he was more concerned that he wouldn't have to be left vulnerable for precious seconds after releasing such a spell.

At least this was what James thought until he was on the receiving end of one the worse kind of curses.

"Crucio!" Sirius used an Unforgivable Curse!

Out of sheer luck James stumbled on some loose snow and the lethal spell missed him by about a foot. He wouldn't have believed it had it not come close enough to singe his hair. This wasn't just any mock dueling; Sirius was playing for keeps. Unless James took this seriously he was going to end up dead.

Already, that bit of realization had hit him a bit late. James needed something quick, simple, something a madness-propelled Sirius would not expect…

"Silencio!"

Immediately Sirius' assault stopped and he clutched his throat in surprise, with his voice gone the damage of his spells was instantly halved.

Grabbing the opportunity James fired a high-powered Stunner. "Stupefy!" The bolt of red light soared like a powerful loose cannon of a firework and would have certainly rendered Sirius unconscious were he not able to create a non-verbal shield just in time. It was a weak shield that cracked upon contact, but it was a shield nonetheless and it saved him. He staggered back from the force of the hitting spell before being knocked down completely by another of James' spells.

James knew that he would not stay down, not so easily. Like himself, Sirius could withstand at least a couple dozen medium powered curses out of pure stubbornness alone; it was a theory that they had once tested and found it to be scarily true. Besides, James did not have time to let off another powerful spell or stun Sirius repeatedly and it wasn't like he would just stand there and let him do it either.

Remus was still at large and Lily was nowhere to be seen…there was the other possibility, that she was…she was… no! Just thinking of it was enough to coat his insides with a deep empty chill. All these thoughts and more occupied James' mind; buzzing like a demanding crowd. With a conscious effort he forced it all to a muffle.

Weariness was also threatening to take over. For a second he felt the cold that bit into his fingers and his wet clothes sucking heat off his body. His arm cradled uselessly at his side while his best friend was trying to kill him. It was enough to take any wizard down but James shunted the weariness right to the periphery of consciousness. He stomped out a fit of shakes and readied himself to deal with Sirius once more.

A stunner narrowly missed him even as Sirius sat up having managed to lift the Silencing charm while down. Damn. Trust Sirius to have one of the quickest recovery time ever-

-A scream suddenly pierced the magic-heavy air-

-effectively killing the spell that was about to form on his lips-

Lily!

"Lily!" James repeated aloud completely forgetting about mad Sirius and the duel, that is, until a particularly nasty hex sent him flying face first into the snow.

He pushed himself up, coughing out melted snow as he did. "Sod off, Sirius-"

There was the scream again and James swallowed hard; Lily was in trouble. "I don't have time for this Sirius! Lily needs me!" Without a single twinge of regret he seized a precise moment and blinded Sirius with a Conjunctivitis curse, following it up with a continuous barrage of hurling hexes. With a plentiful supply of hard icy snow he fixed the spell to keep it repeatedly hurling thus effectively occupying the blinded Sirius. His speed was blinding; not even Sirius with full vision could contend with the sudden quick succession of attacks.

Sirius yelled, one hand pressed to his eyes while compacted snowballs pelted him from left right and centre. James sprinted away, carried by an obsession to find Lily. In an instant Sirius was quite forgotten courtesy of a massive priority shift. "Lily!"

He was close enough to hear her shouting now and he pumped his legs and uninjured arm harder-

-He cleared a hill and looked down to a small valley-

Lily was flailing her arms at someone who fought her to the floor. Even from a distance he could recognise that back and greasy hair anywhere. "SNAPE!"-

"Drink this you foolish girl!" Snape snapped angrily. "It's the antidote!" Lily struggled harder but Snape kept her pressed into the ground while he poured a vile liquid into her throat. She choked and spluttered but he kept pouring it into her prised open mouth.

Snape was breathing heavily. It had been more than a struggle to drag her over to his dropped bag and when his fingers closed around the tiny vial of liquid inside it he was relieved. "The antidote!" As always he was well prepared. With people like Lestrange around who knew what could happen? He might turn his back and suddenly find his goblet spiked with his own potion. Severus Snape trusted no one.

The last drop disappeared and Lily went limp at once. Thanks to the Bezoar stone, the antidote would work double the speed, purging her mind of the poison faster than it had spread. Slowly her eyes rolled back into her head until all that could be seen was the whites. The antidote was working, he noted dully but she was still bleeding profusely.

Taxed, Snape released her and drew his wand-

"Get the fuck off of her!" James seized a fist full of Snape's robes and heaved him off Lily, throwing him heavily to the ground. "Don't you dare touch her!" James was more than enraged he was murderously livid. Seeing Lily attacked had snapped whatever shred of control he had left. He glowered menacingly at the Slytherin with fierce protectiveness.

"Potter!" Snape hissed. Without warning James grabbed him again ignoring the cry of his scorched arm.

"You greasy snake-" He was too furious to even finish-

Instead he smashed his fist into Snapes' face. With one more solid punch Snape dropped to the ground without uttering another word or raising his wand once. Droplets of blood leaked from his hooked nose but the amount was insignificant in comparison to the stains on Lily… All at once the anger vanished and he was at Lily's side pulling her cold body into his arms.

For an awful moment he thought that she might be dead until he saw the faint rise and fall of her shallow breathing; the relief that it brought was truly immense and it washed him in a wave of giddiness.

However, as relieved as he were that she was still breathing, her face petrified him. Her skin carried a deathly pallor and her lips were tinged with blue. Most hauntingly scary were her eyes…her large beautiful eyes stared sightlessly at him. "Lily!" He cradled her closer feeling like he had never been so scared in his life because all he could see was the white of her eyes. Not even the steady beat of her heart under his palm could reassure him.

"Oh Merlin! What did he do to you?" He wailed, wanting to hurt Snape more than ever. There was blood everywhere. He shuffled across the snow with her body on his lap to his dropped wand and sealed up her atrocious wounds as best as he could, but he really wasn't any good at field dressings. "Don't worry baby, I'll get you to Pomfrey." He said in hushed whispers. He continued to speak to her; positive that she could hear him as he carried her across the Courtyard as quickly as he could. "You're gonna be fine. You're gonna be fine. You're gonna be fine…" He found himself repeating to reassure her as much as himself.

Halfway there her hitched her limp body back against him still muttering a flow of sentences. "Don't worry Evans- Lily. You'll wake up soon and you can shout at me all you want. Call me a toe rag; hey it's not too bad of a name, I can deal with being called a toe rag- But do you know what? It's even okay if you don't ever want to see me again, it is! Just wake up soon honey…"

In his semi rambling/pleading he had failed to notice Lily stirring. In her dreams she fought her way to consciousness. The effort wore her to the bone but still she struggled, scrabbling to sink her fingers into something substantial outside of her terrifying dream world. Her fingers slipped and darkness welcomed her enticingly.

No!

With a desperate cry she tore through an invisible barrier and broke the surface of the waking world with her mind in one piece. No demons dared to follow into the cold reality that received her with a nipping bite.

"James?" Lily blinked. Did she just hear him ask to be called a toe rag? She was cold and confused. This must be what it felt like to be confunded she thought distantly while trying to make sense of his expressions. She tried to sit up, forcing him to put her to the ground.

"Merlin's Beard! Lily! Are you okay!" but he didn't even get to hear her answer because he sensed something familiar…

"I think so. Ow…" Her arms hurt and the sight of the angry half closed welts on them horrified her. "Oh my g- it was all real. James I thought that it was a nightmare-"

James wasn't listening; he wasn't even looking at her anymore. "James?"

In one fluid motion he pushed her behind his back and he faced the way that they had come. "Go back to the castle." He ordered tensely.

"What?" This wasn't helping her confusion. She studied his face for clues to shed some light but he was fixed onto something in the distance, his brows creased and his eyes focussed on it with intensity.

"Do it!"

The sharpness of his tone alarmed Lily. Cautiously, she peered around his arm and squinted, following his line of vision. "Oh no…Remus…" The creature closed in on them slowly. Stalking them as it would its prey. There was no hurry; it wanted them to know that it was there. She pulled out her wand and moved to stand beside him but James held his uninjured arm out in front of her.

"No. You're going to get help." He said firmly with an eerie calm. Lily was struck by déjà vu. When confronted with a werewolf she had ran last time but not this time. This time she had a wand and it seemed that the stakes were higher. She had much more to lose; she could lose James.

Even wounded and battered her stubbornness reared. "I'm staying-"

James wasn't having any of it. "Listen to me Lily, you're hurt. Sirius needs help. Remus has transformed on a half moon. That's more than we can handle. I'm going to need help and you're going to have to get it for me."

Lily bit her lip. More than anything she wanted to stay and help but there was no denying the solid logic that James forcefully presented in hushed undertones; she wasn't in any condition to fight off a werewolf. Excessive blood loss had left her light-headed and unsteady. She would only hinder James and any mistakes would end up fatal. There were more lives at stake than she had even thought.

After what seemed like an eternity to James she gave him a curt nod. She had to leave him but she was terrified of never seeing him again.

"All right, I'll get help. But Potter, don't you dare do anything stupid because I will kill you if you do." She said with as much brutal force as she could muster.

Despite her ferocious tone, her eyes shone brightly and he could almost imagine a tear falling and leaving frozen trail down her face but it bravely stayed for his sake. Leaving him behind was clearly the hardest decision she had ever made and every inch of her was fighting it.

James could feel her fear and he loved her even more for it. It comforted his heart like a warm embrace and he knew that he would do everything within his power to hear her threaten him again. A shadow of a smile pressed his mouth until it widened to one of his favoured crooked grins.

"I'll see you soon, Evans." He said almost casually despite himself. With one last piercing look that lingered, Lily ran and James focussed everything he had on Remus the werewolf.

It had reached him at last.

James had his own reasons for staying. He did not want to leave Sirius alone, he may still be capable of casting spells but he wasn't thinking right. It also didn't matter how powerful a wizard was if he was blinded; it may take less than a few minutes for a clever wizard to lift the curse but it most certainly took less than a few minutes to be eaten alive.

To a lesser degree he also couldn't bring himself to abandon Snape to freeze to death or be eaten by Remus. He couldn't do that to a person he despised and he definitely couldn't do that to one of his best friends. Having thought that he also added that it was all Snape's fault and vowed to give him a good hexing when he got out of this.

The 'wolf watched Lily go. James whistled sharply and it turned to face him once more. "You're dealing with me." He growled softly. It was a challenge that the werewolf picked up on with relish. It liked prey that fought back.

A very wet, guttural snarl came forth from the 'wolf, and it gnashed its teeth, as if trying to crunch his fingers and striving to rip its claws into him.

James allowed it no such chance. Man and beast circled warily. His limbs tingled strangely and his sense of perception changed as his heart pumped adrenaline liberally around his body. He once heard that when a person's life was in danger, common sense was often stripped leaving all but a core of instinct. Whether that person survived or not depended on that core and often it was also the defining element to whether that person was destined to be prey or predator. James knew that he was neither. He held his ground.

"Moony…" James couldn't say 'this is not you' or 'you're not yourself' because they were all lies. Being a werewolf was part of his best friend whether anyone said it aloud or not. The moment that he was bitten condemned him as one for the rest of his life. Killing would become part of his nature once a lunar cycle no matter what he did.

James pushed these uncomfortable thoughts aside; he could spend all night trying to reason with Remus but the only way a werewolf would answer was its teeth.

The 'wolf circled too close to allow him sufficient time to transform and he knew that should he break eye contact at this crucial moment, his friend would have his throat ripped out in an instant. It snarled once and then it was airborne, springing at James with a savage maw of sharp teeth-

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A/N: Wheee! Next Chapter is MORS MORDRE