Thank you again for those who continue to be interested by my story. This chapter is for its namesake.
Stephenie Meyers own Twilight.
The Daisy
"Ugh!" I huff to no one in frustration.
The day after Emmett and Rose's wedding I was still haunted by his kiss and his touch and everything else. I had to stop. I had no right to feel this way about anyone after everything that had gone on in my life. I decided at that moment there would be no more thoughts pertaining to Edward. He didn't even know my name. More than likely, I would never hear from or see him again.
Mondays were always the slowest day of the week for me. Wonderland was closed and I usually spent the day doing some cleaning around the apartment, grocery shopping and running errands. I started my day by showering and having some toast and juice for breakfast. I got dressed and walked a few blocks to Trader Joe's to buy some much needed groceries. When I got home I swept the floor, cleaned the bathroom, tidied up the kitchen and dusted the furniture. As I was getting ready to start the laundry, my phone rang. I automatically assumed it was Renee calling, but the caller ID indicated it was a local number. I froze and a million thoughts went through my head. Before I entertained any crazy notions, I surprised even myself by answering the phone.
"Hello?"
"Bella? It's me, Alice. I'm sorry to bother you at home, but I was a little worried about you yesterday. I wanted to check and see if you were okay."
This was strange. Alice had never contacted me outside of work before. I suddenly remembered what took place yesterday. After taking a few moments to collect myself, I walked out of the room into the hallway leading to the Aqua room. The hallway was now packed with wedding guests. I saw Alice at the end off the hallway talking to the Banquet Manager of the hotel, who we met earlier. I walked out the hotel doors and found Jasper waiting in the truck for Alice. I felt horrible, leaving so abruptly, but I needed to go home. I knew we were done setting up so I told Jasper that I felt ill and would take a cab back to my place. I left so quickly that I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to Alice.
"Hi. I'm okay. I'm so sorry I left you there yesterday, but I felt really sick. I must have had a bug or something. I feel fine now. Umm…how did you get my number, anyway?"
"Oh, you had it on your application when you applied for the job."
"Okay." That made sense.
"Well, I'm glad you're feeling better. I was worried about you."
I continued to apologize. We spoke briefly about the wedding and how beautiful everything was.
"Before I forget, I wanted to let you know that I'm throwing a party for Jasper next Sunday, after we close the shop. It's his birthday and I wanted to do something special. I know you just moved into town and you don't know many people, so I thought it would be nice for you to come."
SILENCE.
"Hello? Bella?"
"I'm sorry…uhm…" I stammered. "I don't know. I don't really know anyone."
"That's the point!" she says laughing. "And uh, James will be there…"
"James?" I ask.
"You know, the guy you rode with to the venue the other day."
"Oh, James…okay."
"Well, I'll let you go, but I won't take no for an answer. We'll discuss it more later. Bye, Bella. Enjoy your day off."
"Bye, Alice."
The phone rings immediately after I hang up. I pick up thinking it's Alice again.
"Hey, did you forget to tell me something?"
"Bella?"
SHIT.
"Hey, Dad."
"How are you? I know you've been avoiding our calls. We just wanted to see how you were doing."
"I'm sorry. I've just been really busy." I lie. "I've been working a lot and you know…"
"I know, Honey." He responds. "I know you're trying your best. We just want to make sure you're okay."
"I'm fine."
"I wont keep you and I know you don't need any reminders, but her birthday is next month and we wanted to see if you were coming home."
I flash back to images of the last birthday party she spent with us. A rare, sunny day in San Francisco. Family and friends gathered at a picnic area near Golden Gate Park. Laughter is heard from kids and adults alike. Multi-colored balloons, a jump house and face painter. Cupcakes adorned with fragrant daisies are stacked into a tower with a #2 candle at the top. Amongst all the commotion, my little girl was sound asleep in my arms.
"Mommy, mommy!"
"Hey, Seth. Are you having a good time?"
"This is the best party ever! Since Leah is asleep, can I blow out her candle?"
"Sure, Hon. Go find your Dad."
Moments later, he is back with Jacob. Leah is finally awake and we sing "Happy Birthday". We pose in front of the cupcake tower and flash bulbs go off. We were a family then, before everything was broken. That was a good day.
"Bells, you still there?"
"I'm sorry, Dad. I gotta' go, but I'll try my best to be there." Tears are starting to fall and he can hear it in my voice.
"I love you, Bells."
A muffled, "I love you, Dad" is all I can stifle out. That's all it takes for the floodgates to open. I find my way onto my bed. By then, I am sobbing uncontrollably. I cannot breathe, unable to stop the images that are in my head. My thoughts always seem to take me to her funeral. I see everyone's faces and it's clear that they pity me…they pity us. I search for Jacob and he is there, but he looks right through me. I hear Seth asking for his sister. His hands are wrapped around my neck. I want to bury myself in him and never look up again. I go through the motions of the funeral - thanking everyone for coming and accepting cards of condolences. Jacob is never the same. He never comes back from this.
I often remember the flowers that were placed on each of her cupcakes. They were chosen because I once read in a magazine that daisies were her birth flower: blissful, curious and delicate are how people born in that month are described. It also said that the daisy meant DEPARTURE. Of course I never took that word into account. Why would I? But now I think that's kind of a fucked up coincidence. I thought meanings of flowers were supposed to be happy?
I slip in and out of consciousness. Hours later, once the sun has set, I get out of bed and search for my Lexapros. I cannot and will not dream tonight so I add an Ambien to my nightly mix. It's a dangerous combination, I'm sure. But right now, I can't bring myself to care. I am coherent enough to turn off all my lights and make sure the doors and windows are locked. I don't remember getting back into bed, but the next time I open my eyes it is morning.
It's a busy day at Wonderland and for that, I am thankful. Alice tells me that the Banquet Manager at The Four Seasons was so impressed with our work that there is a possibility we will become an exclusive floral vendor. The news has Alice floating on a cloud throughout the day. I am happy for her and wish I could share in her cheerful disposition. I am sluggish today and try hard to mask the pain. Although I often find myself on the verge of tears, I convince myself to keep it together and try to think of happier thoughts. Those are hard to find.
Alice is running the front of the shop. She's taking orders over the phone and via the internet; there are also a couple of walk-ins. Several brides come in for consultations for their upcoming weddings. I assist her in the front when things are too much for one person to handle, but mostly I busy myself in the back putting together orders that need to be sent out for delivery. That's one of my favorite aspects of this job; delivering flowers. The look on people's faces when they receive them is indescribable. To think, you can make someone so happy with such a small gesture. Alice helps me load the flowers into the van. I make stops to the NY Methodist Hospital, several office buildings and private residences. The day is coming to a close and I am spent. I enter through the back door and begin getting ready to close. I overhear Alice on the phone with someone I presume is Jasper. The door to the shop rings open and I am startled by the voice that comes through the door.
"Hi. Welcome to Wonderland, how can I help you?" I overhear Alice say.
"Hi. I was actually looking for someone. Are you the only one that works here?"
"I have an assistant. She's in the back. Let me go get her."
OH MY GOD!
Alice walks into the back room with a devilish smirk on her face.
"Bella?" I am frozen in place. "There's a guy here looking for you. He looks familiar, but I can't remember where I've seen him."
"The wedding," I reply. "He's Emmett's brother."
"That's right. I knew he looked familiar. What is he doing here?"
"I don't know."
"Well, go find out!" She says excitedly.
I stalk the front of the door and immediately take notice of my appearance. I am wearing a pair of loose-fitting jeans, a tight gray Henley top and black chucks. My hair is clean, but disheveled. I am not wearing an ounce of makeup. If I'm lucky, he won't even remember me. There is almost no resemblance to my appearance from Sunday evening.
I walk into the room and he has his back to me. As soon as I feel his presence I feel like a weight has been lifted. He turns to face me and once again I am looking into those eyes.
"Bella?" he says.
Please review. I would really appreciate it. It would help me type faster thus more Edward sightings and lemons.
