A/N: Wow, it's been a very long time! I had to reread the last few chapters to remind myself!
Quick Summary: James and Lily are engaged! Yay! Rose, James and Sirius have all applied to be Aurors and Dumbledore has used this opportunity to introduce them to Moody who (unbeknownst to everyone including the students) represents the Order on this occasion. Under the guise of observing the students teach one class Moody springs on the chance to put each of the students to the test. This chapter picks up immediately after James' successful lesson and Moody's test which saw James jumping out the window and then cursed with one of the Unforgivable Curses.
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DOO DOO
By lunch, news of James' highly enjoyed lesson had spread among the younger years and then made its way up with impressive speed.
However on the other side of the school Lily was suffering the consequences of his 'successful' lesson. She was on her way to lunch when she was unexpectedly knocked down from behind. There was no grace in being thrown off your feet and it sent her sprawling onto her hands and knees. For a split second she was…well…stunned; in both senses of the word. She was shocked that she'd been attacked from behind in Hogwarts and she was stunned because it was a stunning spell. She was lucky that the caster apparently wasn't any good because she recovered a moment later and turned around to see two students fleeing.
"STOP RIGHT THERE!" she bellowed and the two froze in their tracks. "What do you think you were doing?" she demanded in a manner that would have made even Sirius flinch. The two culprits hung their heads low, guilty and shame-faced. "What are your names?"
"Ben Bywaters" The taller ginger haired boy said.
"Jeremy Codstones." The blonde haired one said.
"Do you know how dangerous it is to go around stunning people? Someone could get hurt! What makes you think that you can go around stunning people?" Lily said crossly with her hands on her hips.
"We've had a Defence Against Dark Arts lesson this morning," Ben started his voice quiet at first but grew louder as he spoke on. "The teacher said- He said it was a good idea to p-practice." Jeremy nodded earnestly.
"On other students?"
"Well," Ben said, the volume dropping again. "He said that as long as it was discreet and we didn't get caught, it was okay." Jeremy nodded.
"Is that so? I hardly think that Prof-" Lily almost choked on her words. This Marauder-esque scenario was definitely a recreation. Back in the first year it used to happen frequently, the culprits were never caught of course but all of the mystery stunning miraculously stopped when McGonagall threatened to ban the House from Quidditch. Everyone had a good hunch of who a certain group of boys were guilty but there was never any proof.
Lily swallowed before asking her next question with a good idea of the answer. "I don't suppose you had a substitute teacher for the lesson did you? A final year student called James Potter?" To her dismay the two nodded. Blood rushed to Lily's head. "Right, in that case, twenty points to be taken away each." Both boys groaned. "I hope you know now that you do not go around stunning other people!"
"Yes." They chorused and Lily sent them on their way. She limped back to where she had fallen and retrieved her bag and books. Her knees were grazed where she had skidded across the stone floor and her hands were bruised from catching her fall, but they were nothing compared to how angry she was at James.
"You are so dead, Potter." She cursed under her breath and continued her way down to the Hall where she knew he was waiting for her.
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James hobbled out of the classroom careful not to turn his back to Moody. It was amazing that just one little session with the mad man had taught him a lifetime's worth of paranoia.
In the main Hall Sirius took one look at James and his jaw dropped. "What in the world did the little terrors do to you?"
James didn't even know where to begin so he started with a basic reaction to feeling weak kneed. "I have to sit down."
Remus pushed a goblet of water to James who accepted it gratefully and melted into a seat.
Peter looked up and dropped his fork. "They threw glass at you!"
"They can't have done!" Sirius asked slapping some glass out of James' messy hair. "They're first years! There's no way that they can be worse than us. Throwing dung bombs, now that's quite different 'coz we were prepared for that weren't we Prongs? I gave you a whole bag to return the favour."
Peter retrieved his dropped fork and resumed eating, chewing loudly. "You gave him dungbombs?"
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Just in case the little midgets decide to throw one at Prongs. Gotta have a counterattack!"
"What happened?" Remus asked not so easily knocked off course.
James gulped down some water before even trying to speak. "Padfoot, I've gotta warn you-"
Unfortunately Sirius was no longer listening and was nudging him before he could even finish. "Psst…it's Evans, boy she looks really angry…" He murmured from the corner of his mouth while Lily stalked up on James like an angry Hippogriff. "Good luck. You really should consider taking some Felix Felicis you know- Ow!"
Remus had kicked him under the table. "Not now." He warned and Sirius obediently closed his mouth trusting Remus on this one. In all their years that they had known Evans she had not once throttled or hexed Moony, there must be something that he was doing right and he and Prongs were making a crock-pot out of.
Without a word Lily grabbed James' arm and pulled him to his feet, yanking him into an empty corridor where she cornered him. Someone behind wolf whistled and she suspected it was Sirius and as a result, James' puddle of trouble had just doubled courtesy of his friend…
James no longer thought of himself as a boy. Despite his eighteen years of growth and development this last year seemed to outweigh them all. His final year at Hogwarts had yet to finish and already he felt old. He'd witnessed violence and tasted despair. For Merlin's sake he'd just jumped out the window and had the Imperius Curse cast on him twice! Everything up till that point in his life had been so easy and now, cruelly but surely, each step he took became more difficult than the last… With a sad sigh his attention snapped back to reality and Lily's angry face swarmed into focus.
Oh Lord…sweet Merlin have pity on my poor soul, he'd put his foot wrong again, stepped in doo doo, figuratively speaking, but he couldn't understand what he'd done to offend and couldn't imagine how to get himself admitted back into her good graces.
"What's wrong-" He started and reached out for her.
Lily slapped his hand away. "You irresponsible prat!"
James had the strangest sense of déjà vu that transported him back to the past when Lily had called him such names on a regular basis. Trying to smooth things over he gave her his most charming albeit battered smile, however, even though Lily found it charming she also knew that it was not his most sincere smile and this only served to up her anger a few more notches.
Her eyes flared and James almost saw his death. He closed his eyes, unable to deal with post Imperio fatigue and Lily's wrath at the same time. When he opened them again he found Lily kneeling on the floor rummaging through her shoulder bag. With his luck she was probably digging around for an axe or if he was extra unlucky, that little scalpel she kept in her quill case for sharpening quill tips. At least and axe would be quick-ish depending on how hard she swung it and how fast he could run in his current state.
"Don't move." She instructed tersely when she straightened. In her hands she held a small tub of cream that smelt minty. It was a far cry from an axe but James knew for certain that excruciating deaths could come in small pots, but whether or not death in pots could smell minty he didn't know.
"What's-"
"Don't. Move." She repeated and he closed his mouth hoping that it wasn't some sort of anti-James cream she had reserved for him or super painful death cream. He watched as she dipped a finger in and tried not to duck and run for his life when she dabbed it onto his face. The salve/cream whatever it was stung for a split second but as she rubbed it in the throbbing cuts over his face seemed to disappear. When he gingerly touched it with his fingers he found that they had indeed disappeared! In awe he rubbed the once painful spots in surprise before Lily slapped his hand away.
Slowly and methodically Lily applied the cream liberally on the several cuts that she could see on James' face and then his forearms. Whatever happened to him had left him in a mess. Yes she was concerned but at the same time she was good deal angry with him. Still, she had a hard time trying to be angry with him while he looked so hurt and cut up so this was her plan: patch him up and then be angry with him.
With her nails she picked out a tiny shard of glass and dropped it to the floor, wincing for him as she did. She scooped some more of the cream with her finger and worked it expertly into the jagged cut. The small tub was a little wonder. The idea was given to her when she realized that James spent an awful lot of the time getting hurt, especially with Remus' monthly transformations. The cream was something that she'd mixed together herself out of healing herbs. Lily had resolved to keep it in her bag just in case situations like this happened and she had no doubt that it would happen often since trouble had a habit of following the Marauders. More than likely she was just looking too deeply into things and overlooking the fact that the foursome simply spent too much time courting trouble.
James winced while she worked on a particularly deep cut and she gave a sympathetic grimace for him. At this point she had to remind herself that she was supposed to be angry with him.
Heal him, be angry with him, ask him what happened and then kill him if necessary. That was the order that she was going to do them in.
"Thanks. Whatever it is that I've done I apologize." He said automatically when she'd finished and tossed the tub back in her bag. He knew that with women sometimes the only way forwards was to retreat.
Lily folded her arms crossly and stepped out of his reach. "I don't believe you! You haven't changed one bit! I don't know why I didn't see it. You're still the same James Potter!"
Slightly confused James scratched the back of his head. "Of course I'm the same James. Who else would I be?" He was rewarded with a Lily death glare before she stomped off. He didn't dare think about chasing after her. For all his bravado and reputed fearless attitude that earned him a place among the Gryffindors James actually valued his limbs and his life very much; chasing after Lily Evans while she was in a mood like that was definitely a death wish and a painful one at that.
"My wife." He all but lamented.
James slowly made his way back to the hall while pondering the mystery that was Lily, something he found himself doing more and more often lately. Okay so she was in a bad mood that much was obvious; she thought he was an irresponsible prat, but she'd been calling him that for years so nothing new there… He tried to rack his brain for anything particularly irresponsible that he'd done lately but drew a blank.
Shit! James stopped in mid stride. Had he forgotten her birthday? Panic began to build up, girls were always particularly sensitive about birthdays and anniversaries. "Can't be!" he said aloud amongst his thoughts. Her birthday had yet to come up and there weren't any particular anniversaries coming up that he could think of. A quick bit of mental math told him that they had been together just over three months unless she was mad at him for forgetting their 90th day anniversary but then who celebrated at such an odd number? Six months and one year he could understand and he made a mental note of these dates so he could provide a suitable celebration just in case but then that was assuming that they were still together then.
No, that was being bleak, James told himself. Lily and he were going to spend the rest of their lives together and nothing; not even Voldemort would ever come between them, ever.
Like many unexplainable things in Hogwarts answers sometimes cropped up when you least expect it to, as James was soon to experience.
"I just don't get it!" He raked a hand through his hair trying to untangle his thoughts and he almost tripped over a couple of younger years. "OI!"
The pair jumped out of his way straight away. "Why aren't you back in your Common Room?" he demanded with annoyance. Since he was out he might as well carry out some Head Boy duties.
"Because it's still lunch sir." One of them said quietly.
Oh yea… Lessons hadn't started yet so they had every right to be there in the corridor. "I'm still a student, there's no need to call me Sir." He said softening his tone a bit; it wasn't their fault that he was in a bad mood. "Well, I guess you two can be off then."
They were on their way immediately; the shorter boy nudged his friend as they did. "Do you think we should tell him?"
"Tell him what?" His friend replied.
"He was the one who said it was okay. He's Head Boy too maybe he can give us some of those points back?"
"I seriously doubt it Jeremy, we hexed the Head Girl!"
Easily overhearing the conversation as they parted James slapped a hand to his head. "No…" he groaned. He knew they looked familiar, the last two students in the first row. "Oi, get back here!" He yelled after them. The two jumped but obeyed straight away. "You weren't by any chance practicing hexes on the Head Girl were you?" he said almost pleading.
Please say no. Please say no.
"Well yeah, you said-"
"That's enough. I know what I said." With slumped shoulders he wandered away wondering why someone out there was determined to see him die. Just as things were going well by some sick cruel twist of fate something like this always happened. "Why me?"
Jeremy and Ben watched him go.
"What's with him?"
"Mad." They concluded.
The hall was almost empty when he returned. In a dispassionate tone he recalled the newest trouble that had opened up a grave for him.
"The kids stunned Lily? Unlucky mate!" Sirius whooped afterwards. "That has gotta be the funniest thing ever, I can just see the kids crying! Of all the people to practice stunning on while their back is turned! Firstly, she's Lily! Secondly, she's Head Girl!" he dissolved in to gleeful cackles. "That's just perfect."
"Forget the kids, I was almost crying!" James shook his head almost smiling despite himself.
"James?"
James felt his expression go slack at the sight of McGonagall. With the way things going it seemed likely that she was here to tell him that Moody wanted to try another Unforgivable Curse on him. If he were lucky then maybe it would be the Killing Curse and it would end all his problems but then that was being morbid and he quickly shook off the idea.
"Of all things to be musing over…" He muttered darkly.
"Excuse me?"
"Urm… sorry Professor. I was just mumbling to myself."
"I see…are you well?" She asked at length.
James realized that she was inspecting from head to toe anxiously. In all likelihood she was looking for any visible injuries or maybe unnatural external deformities that a session with Moody might bring.
You knew. James wanted to say accusingly. It would have been nice if she had given even a little warning that he was about to teach and then get his ass thoroughly kicked.
"I survived." He answered although it didn't quite come out sounding the way it did when he thought it. In his mind it was supposed be defiant and indignant that she had not even offered a hint, but somehow aloud it sounded surprised.
The corners of her mouth pinched. "Yes, I am glad to see that." A moment of awkward silence followed in which the James tried hard not throw a well deserved strop, yes it was childish but he'd had one hell of a day and it was only lunch time! While he'd love very much to give Maturity the finger and a nasty hex for good measure he resolutely clung on until the need to point fingers and wands in a tantrum passed and a bizarre calm settled on his grated mood.
Blimey, I must be getting mature. He thought suddenly and he laughed aloud. His random hearty laugh surprised a few including McGonagall. It must have been odd because she actually put a hand to his forehead to check that he wasn't running a fever. She ascertained that his temperature was perfectly normal and so the next conclusion she reached was more worrying.
James could read it off her face. He's lost his mind.
He broke into another laugh, this time trying not to sound as maniacal as before. "I'm fine. Honestly!"
"Are you sure? I can give you a note so that you can go to the Madam Pomfrey this afternoon."
"Hmm…" James was tempted, she was practically offering him the rest of the afternoon off! But then did he really want to spend the rest of the day cooped up and being smothered? Not likely! It was as boring as hell and he believed that he spent far too much time in the Hospital Wing as it was. "No, that's okay. I'm fine. It was a tough lesson but I learnt a fair few things." He said.
McGonagall gave him another one of those pinched looks that said that she didn't believe him but did not push the matter further. "As you wish, but if you start to feel…unwell then off to Madam Pomfrey straight away, do you understand?"
"Yes, Professor." James said obediently.
"Good, have a good meal before your next class and drink plenty." She advised.
"Will do."
"And please make you way to the Headmaster's office after classes this afternoon."
"Yes – what?" James' goodwill to be agreeable took an abrupt dive off the broom. Going to Dumbledore's office has always been as a result causing trouble and getting caught. The time that he and Lily were caught red handed by Dumbledore and the Minister of Magic was a prime example of such visits. "What did I do now? If it's about the window I jumped out of I promise I'll fix it."
McGonagall arched a thin brow. "You jumped out of a window?"
If there was ever a case of getting yourself into trouble James had just found and done it all in one go. "No, of course not." He replied smoothly. "I was just mumbling, I don't think I've been quite...the same since that session with Moody." He said hoping that she would pick up the tragic tone he had sprinkled liberally over his words. "Have I done something wrong?"
"No, there are just some matters to be discussed about your application process. That is all."
"Oh."
"Yes, it is important so do make sure you turn up on time." There were stresses on several words in that sentence and James heard them all. There wasn't much to say after that and the Professor soon left. "As for the window I will see to it." She said as a parting shot leaving James to slump in his seat.
"I'm getting old for this." He sighed. He rolled his neck sitting up as he did and noting the almost empty table. "Oi! Where's Padfoot?" Sometime during his brief conversation with McGonagall Sirius had slipped away, probably on purpose.
"He's teaching remember?" Moony answered nonchalantly.
"Oh shit!" James could not even begin to imagine how things would turn out in Sirius' session with Moody. The Auror was absolutely barking but it was always in Sirius' nature to bark louder and harder. This was not going to be pretty…
