A/N: Wow, this chapter has been too long in the making. Please bear with me guys while I get back into the flow of writing. It's good to be back ^.^
THE CONDITION
James ascended the spiral stairs two at a time anxious to see Dumbledore, not for the meeting but to see if he had news on Sirius. The lesson should have ended within the first hour after lunch but Sirius remained suspiciously missing for the whole afternoon.
At the top James knocked and entered at the bidding of McGonagall, which told him straight away that Dumbledore wasn't in his office. Sure enough, he entered to find the office empty except for Professor McGonagall, although describing the room as empty was technically untrue. Portraits occupied most of the wall space and the nosy occupants of past Headmasters and Headmistresses stared down at him, all of them inspected him with somewhat odd expressions.
"Take a seat, the Headmaster will be along shortly." McGonagall said.
Uneasy under the scrutiny of the portraits, James took the offered chair to find McGonagall giving him the same queer look. Not usually one to be self-conscious James became painfully aware of every set of eyes focusing on him in the room.
Minutes ticked by and James began to fidget under the hot scrutiny. McGonagall appeared preoccupied with her thoughts and would occasionally sigh and James wasn't about to make small talk. Instead his curiosity urged him to observe Dumbledore's office from where he sat.
It was a fascinating room; every time he was there he had to resist going around and having a good fiddle with the hundreds of artifacts that the eccentric Headmaster had in his collection. There were a few things that he recognized but many that he did not. In the corner stood some strange looking spindly, spinner things that he hadn't a clue about and he couldn't even imagine its function, but next to that in a hidden alcove was a Pensieve. The discovery of its existence was purely by chance of course. James had no doubt that within its depths was an impressive library of thoughts that only a great wizard such as Dumbledore could collect. He was curious but had never sneaked a peak for he knew that they were private, although Sirius would beg to differ, but then the opportunity to have a look had never been presented.
Clunk. Step. Clunk. Step. Clunk.
James was on his feet in an instant at the sound of the distinct walking pattern.
Moody.
His hand jumped to his wand.
McGonagall also stood more out of surprise at James' sudden defensive move than the sound of Moody coming up the stairs. The heavy door flew open hitting the wall with a bang and the Auror entered without even bothering to knock.
"Alastor!" McGonagall exclaimed, obviously appalled.
Ignoring her, Moody maneuvered himself heavily to the center of the room. "Hmph. He put up quite a fight." He grunted and dumped a soot colored ferret onto Dumbledore's desk.
Fawkes, who had been dozing up to till this point, gave a dignified squawk at the disturbance before eyeing the ferret with interest. The little creature scrabbled to its paws spitting and hissing. James stared at it with fascination. The ferret had a cute little pink nose and tufts of glossy fur framed its face in a manner that was…stylish? The little thing had one front paw raised with its sharp claws curled into a ball, if he didn't know better it would have looked like it was waving a fist at Moody! The ferret sniffed sulkily and released one claw in what was unmistakably a rude finger salute.
James' jaw dropped at the ferret's very un-ferret-like behavior. "Uh."
"Alastor!" McGonagall cried, clocking on before James. "We DO NOT transfigure students!"
"I know. It's a shame." Moody growled and James swore he could see a look of glee under that scarred face.
"Padfoot?" James voiced incredulously. Who else could be turned into a ferret and still have that insane amount of attitude? And that fur, what kind of ferret would ever have fur like that? Sirius the ferret crossed his arms moodily.
With a quick wave of the wand McGonagall had Sirius restored to his natural shape and size. Disgruntled and sulky, he pushed himself off the desk advancing on Moody angrily.
"That was a cheap shot!"
"Padfoot-" James started.
"By Merlin's foot, Prongs. You should have seen some the curses this old codger was trying on me! Curses are fine because I was defending myself just fine when he took the dirtiest shot in Magic history! He turned me into a ferret! And then he had the nerve to put me in a cage and leave me there! IN A CAGE! While he toddled off somewhere, probably getting addled by whatever he has stashed in his hip flask."
Moody appeared every bit unfazed to say the least. "If you got hit by a spell, the only person you can blame is yourself. You were too slow and you got slower the more tired you got. You were able to defend yourself decently but you tire too quickly when your opponent is strong." He retorted. "It doesn't matter what kind of shot it is as long as it works. The sooner you learn that the better wizard you will be."
It had been a long time since Sirius had so clearly been out-skilled and it pained him greatly to see Moody gloat in his sick, sadistic and sad glory. "Oh, really old man? Do you wanna try that again? This time I'll be more than ready-"
Moody cackled, clearly nowhere near impressed by Sirius' hot temper. "I wouldn't mind giving it another go as long as you don't mind being turned into a ferret again. Now that's already an advantage given to you laddie because in the real world no one will give you a second chance. No, you'd be dead. Dead as a belly up 'Carple! DEAD!" The Auror's raspy voice hung heavy in the air whilst Sirius fumed on. Taking the younger wizard's silence as a victory Moody went on. "Not the same kind of teaching that they give you in school ay? No. No more coddling for you boy! Out there, all you have are your wits and you wand. CONSTANT VIGILENCE is the only thing that will save your skin!" With that he reached to his side and pulled out a hip flask from which he took a swig.
Sirius meet Moody eye for eye, literally because Moody's other eye was going haywire and whizzing in the socket like glass bouncy ball. It was tremendously gross and distracting. Still, from under the scarred eyelid of his one good eye Sirius met his gaze straight on. Moody infuriated him, however, he did recognize the wisdom of experience in the verbal diarrhea the Auror was spewing in his general direction but that didn't stop him thinking that the man was a complete asshole.
"I'd rather be dead than to let you get away with thinking you had me over so easily." He informed him haughtily.
Moody laughed and it sounded like a bizarre parody of the laughing man in red James had once seen in a shopping mall in London one Christmas. "The boy has spirit I'll give him that! But I stick by what I said before, you're going to get yourself killed!"
"I'm not a boy!" Sirius roared, his deep undoubtedly mature voice filling the circular room.
"That's difficult to tell from your magic." Moody said clearing enjoying tormenting Sirius.
Sirius' hand clenched his wand tighter but he was too wound up to think of a decent spell. "You see this yea? Take a good look at it coz it's gonna go right up your-"
James seized Sirius' arm before he could finish what would have been a non-retractable comment.
McGonagall looked appalled and Dumbledore cleared his throat drawing attention to him. No one had even noticed him enter the room. With a swish of his long robes he swept into the room followed by Rosie who was tailing after him.
"A good evening to you all." He greeted and took his place at his desk. Everyone mumbled a reply and even Moody nodded his head. "Do seat yourselves comfortably." He said and conjured up three more chairs. James pushed Sirius in the seat furthest from the one Moody had chosen before settling down. Rosie sat to his left. The three of them faced Dumbledore expectantly, today had been a strange day even by Hogwarts standards.
Dumbledore looked straight back at them, his demeanor calm, his blue eyes giving nothing away. "I'm sure the three of you must have questions, but I would like to ask you keep hold of them until you have heard all that I have to say."
The three students nodded a little apprehensively. There was something deeply unsettling about Dumbledore tonight. Perhaps it was his serious tone or maybe a trick of the light in his office, but he appeared a lot less eccentric Grandpa and something that none of them could but their finger on.
"Let me begin by apologizing to the three of you. I have not been completely honest with you. Today's tests had nothing to do with your applications to become Aurors."
Sirus' brows shot up and he was on his feet in a second. "So he's not from the Ministry?"
Moody let out a cackle of a laugh. "Why, does that change things for you boy?"
"I'm NOT A BOY!" Sirius roared.
"BLACK, you sit down this instant!" McGonagall reared as Sirius began to mutter profanities that would normally have reduced the House pounts to sub-zero. "And watch your mouth potty mouth or I'll have Gryffindor disqualified from Quidditch even if it's my own House!" Her threat had the desired effect and Sirius sat down without another word. A lump formed in McGonagall's throat. These youngsters, her pupils, should be concerned about things such a sport, they should not have to be part of the horror of a twister dark wizard; but Dumbledore was right, what could be worse than to leave the young in the dark, without the knowledge to even know what they might face should the Order fail? What could be more cruel than to leave them unprepared?
Dumbledore was as grave as James had ever seen him. "I invited Alastor here today to test you in ways that are completely beyond the curriculum, but are absolutely necessary for what I am about to ask of you..."
James listened, enraptured as Dumbledore talked on. His response grew from surprise, to understanding and finally grave acceptance. At one point he looked over at Sirius and saw his thoughts reflected on his face. The Order of the Phoenix. For all this time that he'd wished that someone would do something against Voldemort, he would never have realized something was being done right under his nose! All in secrecy because the Ministry was too scared or, even worse, too foolish to even recognize that something had to be done. Even before Dumbledore had finished James knew that whatever the Order was planning, he wanted to be part of it.
"…I understand that this is a lot for you to take in and I promise you that if I could bear this burden alone I would gladly do so. But, the truth is that my strength alone is limited." Dumbledore sighed and James could feel the weight of his sigh.
"I'm in." Sirius said quietly, his anger long gone.
"Perhaps if you take some time to think this through…"
Sirius shook his head at the Headmaster. "This is something that I've been waiting to hear. Something has to be done and I want a part in it. Besides, you need someone like me." He ended rakishly.
"And I." Rosie said, her eyes glossy with determination. "No further consideration is needed."
McGonagall sat back. She knew their answers even before they did, but it was very difficult not to see the two young men and lady as the children that had been in awe of her during her first Transfiguration demonstration. Dumbledore, no doubt in her mind, might be having similar thoughts though he controlled it better than she.
"I will join the Order but only on one condition." All eyes went to James. This was the first time he'd voiced anything on the matter.
"Oh?"
"I know that I am being overly presumptuous by having a condition," James kept his eyes fixed on the fine pattern of whorls on Dumbledore's desk as if committing it to memory. "But I feel that personally, this is what I need. I realize that by joining the Order I could very well be offering my life for a cause that is right but…"
"Lily." Sirius said with sudden understanding.
James nodded meeting the Headmaster's clear eyes squarely. "I will join the Order on the condition that she is not allowed to join."
The three students traipsed down the corridor. Each solemnly quiet with thoughts on what had transpired in Dumbledore's office. Sirius was the first to break out of his dark thoughts and he riled on Rosie.
"How come Moody didn't attack you?" Sirius asked accusingly.
Rosie made a face. "You didn't see me before Dumbledore fixed me. Yes and I said fixed. That was how badly I came off." She said scathingly when Sirius' brows went up.
This made Sirius feel somewhat a little better. "What did he turn you into?"
"I'm not telling you."
"Why?"
"Well what did he turn you into?"
"I'm not going to tell you either!"
"Fine. James, what did Moody turn Black into?"
"A ferret." James answered absentmindedly.
"Prongs! That's betrayal!" Sirius protested, but James was once again lost in a troubled reverie.
Meanwhile Rosie was having trouble containing her laughter. "A ferret? The wizard is nuts but I'm beginning to like his humor."
"What bloody humor? If you mean the dirty-shot-trying-to-kill-student humor then ra de ha ha! It was one hell of a joke! But then you would find something like that funny."
"Sure would."
James walked on ahead, oblivious that he'd left the bickering behind.
"What's wrong with him?" Rosie asked as they watched his back recede into the shadows. Sirius knew his friend. He and James were very similar in many ways, but yet there were some fundamental differences. James was brought by loving parents and was inclined to love by rule, whereas Sirius, who was brought up by parents who cared only for bloodlines and power, loved by exception. Now that James had Lily, this difference was never clearer. Sirius took comfort in knowing that he would never lose more than his life should he die, but it would not be so for his friend.
"Nothing that a bottle of Fire Whisky wouldn't temporarily fix." He replied flippantly. "Say, I have a vintage bottle tucked away, what say you to an early celebration?"
Lily was up on her feet a soon as she heard the portrait open. "James."
From across the room James met her eyes. In the dim light they simply burned. There was something very poignant in that moment, something in the way she anxiously wringed her hands with worry, her face more open to him than ever before. He walked up to her and wordlessly wrapped her into a tight hug.
Lily swallowed hard as her fingers automatically clenched the sleeve of his shirt. Something wasn't right. "Jamie, what is wrong?" She asked hating how small her voice sounded.
He pulled back slightly to look into her face, his fingers brushing her cheek and following the contours of her face. "Nothing. Nothing at all." He said at length and pressed his lips to her forehead where they stayed while they stood in front of the crackling fire. Lily did not for one second believe him but she clamped her mouth on questions and closed her eyes.
They parted silently not two minutes later. Lily could see a thin but stout wall wedge itself between them as James straightened his shoulders from whatever it was that was immensely bothering him. Distracted and appearing almost apologetic? Lily couldn't quite put her finger on it but in that state he excused himself and went up to his room.
Lily resumed her seat staring thoughtfully at the stairs. It bothered her. Something was on his mind and she was inclined to assume that it wasn't a good thing occupying his thoughts judging from his demeanor. She wanted to go after him because she simply couldn't let it go. He probably needed time to think things over and it really wasn't any of her business if he did not want to confide with her. This she understood completely since she was a firm believer in having your own personal space in relationships.
At length, concern won over and she left her warm seat and began to tiptoe up the stairs. She might not be able to help him but she could offer him comfort. It was a small offer but it was enough to make her happier for it. She knocked faintly before letting herself into the darkened dorm room. The curtains were pulled on all the beds. Maybe he was asleep?
Padding silently she went to his bed and peeked in, she just wanted to see that he was all right. Lily didn't know who was more surprised when she looked in and he was lying there wide awake. His eyes snapped from the drapes overhead and he started at the sight of her.
"I'm sorry! I knocked and I thought you were asleep!" She gushed in quiet whispers. "I only wanted to see that you were okay." She added awkwardly.
"That's all right. I'm sorry I didn't hear you." He sat up and held a hand out to her. "I guess I was just out of it for a moment."
Lily stepped out of her slippers before taking his hand and climbing onto the bed and sat in front of him. The heavy curtain dropped back into place as if sealing them away from the rest of the sleeping school.
"Your hands are cold." He said and he shuffled aside so that there was room beside him. Without so much as a second thought Lily crawled over and slid under the thick duvet and he tucked it up over shoulders. Lily snuggled down and it was the most natural thing in the world for him to put his arms around her. She fit against him like she was his complementary mould.
"Your hands are still cold." He said after a while.
In answer she tucked her fingers down the collar of his t-shirt and felt him shudder. "Not for much longer."
"No, not much." He agreed. Lily rolled around so that her face rested comfortably on the crook of his neck. The hair at the back of his neck was still damp where he hadn't dried it properly after a shower. She breathed in deeply loving the way he smelt so fresh and how she could smell him under the cleanness. It comforted her and somehow made her belly feel funny. She felt her face flush and was infinitely glad that it was dark and he couldn't see her face. She lay there pressed against him, suddenly feeling very awkward and shy, and her initial reason for finding him quite forgotten. It felt like an age that they lay there, acutely away of each other's presence; at least, that's how Lily felt it was until she felt James' breathing slow and then finally deepen into sleep. Lily gave a little sigh and did her best to stamp down her little secret flash of disappointment before slowly nodding off to a light sleep.
