Brenda sat upon Evil's bed, her arms around Evil's body. Evil stood over her, his lips pressed hard against hers. His arms were wrapped around her thin body. Her arms started to take off his shirt and he chuckled against her lips. "Round two?"
"Oh yes, Evil," purred Brenda. Brenda was laid down on the bed by Evil as he got on top of her. To warm up, he started to gyrate his hips against hers.
"Say my name," purred Evil into Brenda's ear. With every thrust of Evil's hip he heard Brenda moan Evil, Evil, Evil.
"EVIL!"
Evil pulled away, that wasn't Brenda's voice. Brenda looked at him annoyed. Behind him, Charley stood, looking freaked out, from a mixture of seeing the two of them starting to make love and the news with Jerry. Evil sighed, he was just glad he didn't take his pants off just yet. "And to what do I owe this dubious pleasure?"
"The vampire knows I know about him or he will tonight!" rattled Charley. Brenda rolled her eyes. "Don't roll your eyes at me! He's after you next!"
Evil giggled and Brenda huffed. "What are you talking about?" giggled Evil, rubbing Brenda's back, trying to calm his girlfriend down.
"Remember that vampire next door to me? He's going to kill me if I don't protect myself!" yelled Charley. "And he'll turn Brenda if you don't protect her!"
Evil cracked up and Brenda did too. "What!" gasped Evil between laughs.
"He wants to mate with Brenda!" sneered Charley. "I haven't got time to explain!"
"That's the first time I heard mate. I always hear it as do her or fuck her or bang her or do the nasty, bumping uglies, the horizontal mambo," said Brenda giggling.
"Just tell me what to do to protect myself!" demanded Charley.
Evil pinched Charley's cheek. "Very funny, Brewster!" cooed Evil as he got up and sat in his chair.
"Evil, please! I'm not kidding!" cried Charley. "Tell me what to do!"
"Don't call me Evil anymore!" cried Evil.
"That's not what I heard Brenda saying before I came in," winked Charley. Brenda threw a pillow at him.
"Why should I help you anyway?" asked Evil.
"You wanna buy Brenda that new dress at the mall, right? And you're eight bucks short, I've got eight bucks. Help me and it's yours," said Charley. Brenda's eyes started to twinkle.
"Far be it from me to turn down a fool's money," said Evil, grabbing the money. He put the money near some of Brenda's horror action figures. "Where and when do you expect the vampire to attack?"
"In my bedroom, tonight," said Charley.
Evil grabbed a cross. "Start with this," he said. Charley went to grab it but Evil pulled away. "But, you must have total faith in it for it to work! The get some garlic! Links of the stuff you can wear around your neck and hang from your window. If he comes for you, that'll be the way!"
"Don't forget holy water," piped in Brenda.
"Oh, of course! There's holy water!" said Evil. "But you gotta get a priest to say a blessing over it first."
"That's it?" asked Charley.
"I'm afraid so," said Evil.
"But your best protection right now, Charles, is that a vampire cannot enter your house without being invited by the rightful owner!" cackled Brenda.
"Are you sure about that?" asked Charley.
"Positive," said Brenda.
"Thank you. Thank you," said Charley. "Be sure to protect Brenda."
"The only protecting I'm doing is this," said Evil holding up a wrapped condom.
