Peter Vincent opened his door to see Amy, Evil and Brenda. "Mr. Vincent, could we talk to you for a moment?" asked Amy.
"I'm afraid now is not the best time," said Peter.
Brenda blocked the door with her boot. "Please, it's very important," said Brenda, giving him puppy dog eyes.
Evil leaned into Amy. "Those never fail!" he whispered.
Peter allowed them into his house. Decked out with vampire and zombie artifacts. Horror movie posters covered the walls. "This is what I want little Eddie's nursery to look like," smiled Evil as he kissed Brenda's stomach.
"What can I do for you?" asked Peter. "An autograph, perhaps? Perhaps an interview for your school newspaper?"
Brenda sighed. She had been taken at out of school already. "I'm afraid this is much more important," said Amy.
"Really?" asked Peter as Evil and Brenda jotted down notes for the nursery. "What could be more important than my autograph?"
"Saving a boy's life," said Brenda coming to Amy's side.
Peter nodded. "Perhaps you would care to explain," said Peter.
Evil joined his girlfriend and his friend's girl. "Remember a fruitcake kid named Charley Brewster?" asked Evil. "He said he saw you."
"The one who believes a vampire lives next door to him," said Amy.
"Oh, yes. You know, he is insane," said Peter. Amy's heart sank. If people saw Charley as in insane, how would people see her if they got back together? Evil just had a big grin on his face. "Oh, my dear...I do hope he's not a friend of yours."
"Yeah, she's got the hots for the creep!" cackled Evil.
"Yeah, well you have the hots for the school slut!" cried Amy. Brenda wasn't offended. It was purely a joke between the two girls. She was probably saying it now because Brenda didn't think a vampire was living next door.
"You take that back!" cried Evil. Amy smacked his arm. "Amy! I'm an expectant daddy! Go easy on me!"
"We need your help to stop him," said Amy. "He believes his next door neighbor is a vampire and he's planning to kill him."
"With a stake through the heart," chuckled Evil.
"Are you three serious?" asked Peter. They all nodded. "Oh, my dear. Your friend needs a psychiatrist not a vampire killer."
"Please, Mr. Vincent," said Brenda.
"I'm afraid not," said Peter. "You see, Hollywood beckons. I have just been offered a starring role in a major film! I have even had to quit Fright Night."
"I'll give you money," said Amy.
"How much?"
"I have a $500 savings bond."
"I'll think about it."
"Sir, in 6 months, I will have a baby and if there's a whack job running around, I won't want him or her to watch Fright Night," said Brenda, rubbing her belly. "This boy or girl won't know of your greatness."
Peter hung his head. "Fine. I'll take the 500," said Peter. "Now, how are we going to cure your little friend of this delusion?"
"I think Evil has a plan," said Amy.
"We all go next door to the neighbor and you perform some kind of vampire test on him to pronounce him human," said Evil.
"Like in Orgy of the Damned!" giggled Brenda.
"Yeah, where you looked in the mirror, the guy didn't have a reflection, so then you knew he was a vampire!" said Evil.
"Oh, yes," said Peter fondly. "That was one of my favorite roles."
Evil picked up the phone to call Jerry. "I see," hummed Jerry. "I'm always willing to help young people but I'm afraid crosses are out of the question."
"He's a reborn Christian," said Evil. "He thinks crosses would be sacrilegious."
"Ask him how he feels about holy water," said Peter.
"How about holy water?" asked Evil. "No, won't do either."
"Tell him it's ordinary tap water. All he has to do is sip it," said Peter.
"6:00 tomorrow?" said Jerry. "I'll be out until then." Jerry hung the phone up. "Seems we don't have to go out tonight after all. His friends are bringing him over here tomorrow night to prove to him I'm not a vampire.
