A/N: Hey everyone, back again! Thank you all for reading
MCRaddictiongirl - Thank you for the review! Sorry for ending the chapter like that, hope you like the new chapter too :)
Ok, well, small warning on this one again, Saint Jimmy's being his same old self...
The title fof this chapter comes from the awesome Danger Days track, Planetary (Go!)
As ever, I do not own the boys...
Chapter 20 - You Ruin Everything
"Thanks for telling the baby brother not to shoot me. That would've been annoying." Rave shot a glare at Saint Jimmy. "He wasn't aiming to hurt you, Jimmy, he was gonna kill you." Saint Jimmy rolled his eyes, like he didn't believe it. "Jimmy. Listen to me, if Jet hadn't got his gun off him, Kid would've shot you. You have got to stop saying shit like that about Poison. That's his brother, you have to know how much it hurts him." Saint Jimmy shrugged. "Never had a brother. Wouldn't know."
"And once again you forget I know you, Jimmy. You might not have a brother, but you have a sister." Saint Jimmy laughed. "And you clearly forget that bitch couldn't give a fuck about me, and I don't give a fuck about her. I haven't even seen her since I was sixteen, could be dead for all I know, probably is. She wasn't strong enough to survive this mess." A hand thrown in the air to indicate everything, the safe house, the desert, the whole situation. "Fine." Rave said, not bothering to point out the fact that Saint Jimmy had told her his sister had often taken care of him. Always came to him, fixed him up after he'd had run ins with their step father. The fact that she hadn't come with him when he ran away to the city was something Saint Jimmy had never forgiven his sister for. "You had Johnny, didn't you? He was like a brother." A flash of pain behind Saint Jimmy's eyes, a desperation. Begging not to feel. Then it was gone, dirty grin back in place. "Now, now, Rave. What are you suggesting?" Rave rolled her eyes. "When you weren't screwing him behind his girlfriend's back, I meant."
"She knew full well what me and Johnny got up to, and we only did anything behind anyone's back in the… Literal sense. I'm sure you remember that." Rave looked away. Transported back to that dingy, dirty little apartment she'd called home. The nights she'd come back, to find Saint Jimmy in bed with Johnny, again. Johnny, apologising, Saint Jimmy just smiling, content. If he was smoking she knew it hadn't been long since they were done. Worst were the nights when Johnny stayed over, Rave had always been a light sleeper and every time she'd been woken up. Johnny always felt guilty. But he'd never stopped Saint Jimmy.
Because you never have a choice with Saint Jimmy.
And the worst thing was… She'd never hated Saint Jimmy for it. She'd always loved him so much… It was a pattern she was so scared of falling back into. That she nearly had fallen back into.
I'm sorry Poison, I didn't mean it, I promise, I promise…
"I don't know why I bothered trying to make you understand." Rave said, angrily. "As if you ever really cared about anyone."
She turned her back, heading outside, going to join Jet Star.
Saint Jimmy just let her go.
Fun Ghoul wished he could leave. He knew this was a private moment he was sitting in on, knew Kobra Kid just wanted to be alone with his brother, just for a while. Fun Ghoul tried pushing himself up off the bed, carefully, trying to do so without Kobra Kid noticing. The fact he had difficulty standing meant that plan didn't exactly work. Kobra Kid looked up finally, his eyes were red, and Fun Ghoul was amazed that somehow he hadn't made a sound, it looked like he'd been crying hard this time. "Do you need some help?" Kobra Kid asked. Fun Ghoul shook his head, "No, I'm fine, I-" Kobra Kid stood up, went to him, "Cut it out, Ghoul, seriously. If you need help, ask for it. There's no shame in asking for help, not from me." As Fun Ghoul let Kobra Kid take his weight, he couldn't help thinking Kobra Kid wasn't really talking about him. Or, at least, not just about him. Once back on his own bed, Fun Ghoul looked up at Kobra Kid, "He wasn't trying to keep anything from you." He told him. Kobra Kid scowled, in a way that suggested that he was again fighting tears. "Then how come he did?" Kobra Kid abruptly turned, without another look at Party Poison, heading towards the door. "Where're you going?" Fun Ghoul asked, carefully. "Outside. Clear my head.""Don't be mad at him, Kid." Kobra Kid stopped, spun round again. "Mad at him? You think I'm mad at him? Ghoul. I am hurt and frustrated and sad that my own damn brother didn't tell me he'd been… I don't know! And that's it, isn't it? I don't know what's happened to him! And that scares the fuck out of me. I am worried, terrified for him. But no, am I not mad at him." Then, with a sigh. "I just can't be around him right now, that's all."
As he watched Kobra Kid go, Fun Ghoul couldn't help thinking he should've been the one to leave.
Fun Ghoul shifted on the bed so he could lay down again, he wanted to lay on his side, so he could still see Party Poison, but his injuries prevented him from doing that. Instead he turned his head, not caring that soon he'd have a pain in his neck too, when Party Poison woke up, he wanted to see it.
It wasn't long until Jet Star and Rave came in, Fun Ghoul sat up slightly, even though Rave frowned at him for doing so. "No change, I'm guessing?" Jet Star asked, Fun Ghoul shook his head. "He's just got a lot to get over" Rave said as she sat beside Party Poison again. "He'll be fine, he'll wake up when he's ready." She reached out, her fingers going through Party Poison's hair, then gently stroking down his cheek.
Fun Ghoul felt that nasty feeling again. Stop it. He told himself. You. Are. Not. Jealous.
"Where's Kid?" Fun Ghoul asked, as a way to distract himself. Jet Star answered, "He's outside, we asked him if he wanted to come back in with us, but he didn't answer. I'm guessing he's having a hard time, we thought we'd leave him alone for a while." Fun Ghoul nodded. "And where's Saint?"
"Fuck knows." Rave snapped. "And I don't care." Fun Ghoul didn't care either, so long as he was far away from Party Poison. "I haven't seen him." Jet Star said, "I'm guessing he'll show up again when he gets bored."
"You already know him so well, Jet." Rave said, dryly.
It'd been a hard day for them all, and none could figure out how they'd stayed awake so long. Fear and worry can do that for you.
Kobra Kid came back in, finally, and even smiled at the others.
They settled on the idea of sleep, Rave cutting in when Fun Ghoul went to say something, she knew what it was going to be, "No, Ghoul, you will sleep tonight. I will stay up and keep an eye on Poison, and keep watch." Although not entirely happy about it, Fun Ghoul had to admit he was having trouble keeping his eyes open.
Fun Ghoul wasn't sure how long he'd been asleep, only that something felt off. Automatically he turned his head to look at Party Poison, immediately noticed Rave wasn't there. Took him a while to figure out that that must be because she'd gone outside, a quick patrol before coming back to Party Poison.
He expected it would be her when he heard the door open, but when he looked he saw it wasn't, it was Saint Jimmy.
Fun Ghoul tried to sit up, couldn't. Watched as Saint Jimmy got closer, finally settling down on Party Poison's bed, sitting almost exactly where Fun Ghoul had been sitting earlier. "Look at you Cherry Top, they really did have their fun, huh?" Then he leant down, over him. His face far too close to Party Poison's. "I've missed you, Cherry Top." In a gesture similar to Rave's earlier one, Saint Jimmy stroked his hand over Party Poison's face. "Very much." It wasn't affectionate though, not really. It was possessive.
His hand snaked down Party Poison's neck, over his shoulders, down further until his fingers just dipped under the covers. Then he paused, looked up at Party Poison, "Let's get a proper look at you, shall we?" And pulled off the covers entirely. Saint Jimmy spent far too long looking him up and down, slowly. He tutted. "Oh dear, dear, dear… And here I was thinking you just bleed easy." Saint Jimmy's hand stroking across Party Poison's chest and stomach, pausing at each of the bandages, fiddling slightly with the edges. "Even when you do wake up, you're not gonna be fit for a while, are you, angel?" Then Saint Jimmy turned his attention to his arm, lifting it up, middle finger gently gliding over what was left of the puncture wound. "Especially after having that stuff inside you. Nasty stuff. I do hope you're grateful for what I did." Leaning closer, whispering in Party Poison's ear now, "I can't wait for you to show me just how grateful." A kiss placed beside his ear, and a content murmur from Saint Jimmy. "Never should've stopped, Cherry Top, I never should've stopped. Fucking hell you're so fucking tempting right now. All still and vulnerable. I could do whatever I wanted…" He'd let his hand wander down and now he was fiddling with the waistband of Party Poison's underwear, getting slightly under. "Whatever I want-""Stop!" Saint Jimmy looked up immediately, surprised, he looked in the direction that the voice had come from, and quickly found the source.
Fun Ghoul had watched all of it in horror, trying to force himself to move, but his body felt heavy, like it had cramped up entirely. He'd been trying to say something, anything to get Saint Jimmy to stop, to leave Party Poison alone. Finally, he'd managed it, though his voice was only small, it was enough to get Saint Jimmy's attention.
Saint Jimmy smiled, the surprise gone as quick as it had appeared. "Well, well, well. And just how long have you been awake?" Fun Ghoul didn't reply. Part of him wanted to tell Saint Jimmy he'd seen everything, but another part was ashamed he'd let it go on so long. "Leave him alone." He said instead. "You've been awake for the whole thing, haven't you? Enjoying the show where you?" Saint Jimmy asked, tauntingly. "Sick bastard." Fun Ghoul grimaced at the accusation. "Aww, c'mon, you can admit it. You can't touch your darling boyfriend right now, so watching me do it is the next best thing, right? What do you want me to do next, huh?" Saint Jimmy's hand was on Party Poison's leg, rubbing up and down. "Stop touching him." Fun Ghoul demanded, with just a small hope Saint Jimmy might listen to him. "Oh, you mean stop doing… This?" And Saint Jimmy shoved his hand inside Party Poison's underwear, closed his eyes as he felt and groped. "Well." Saint Jimmy said, opening his eyes, staring right at Fun Ghoul "Feels like they didn't do any damage to that." Fun Ghoul looked away, appalled at what he'd just seen, once again ashamed he wasn't able to stop it. "Do you think he can feel me?" Saint Jimmy asked, that nasty grin never looking more pleased with himself. "Leave him alone!" Fun Ghoul snapped, furious with Saint Jimmy, furious with himself.
It took him a second to realise he'd suddenly, finally, sat up. Looked like his body had finally decided to cooperate. Saint Jimmy realised it too, his eyes went slightly wide. Saint Jimmy was only seconds quicker to move than Fun Ghoul was. He was off the bed and round the other side of it just as Fun Ghoul got himself up and heading straight for Saint Jimmy. "What're you gonna do now, Ghoul?" Saint Jimmy asked. "I'd rather leave that as a surprise." Fun Ghoul snarled. "Can't kill me, Ghoul, remember." Yes, he did remember. And though they now had Party Poison back, Fun Ghoul had an awful feeling Saint Jimmy might still be useful. "Just get the fuck out of here. Now!" As he left, Saint Jimmy couldn't help himself from saying, "I'll leave him to you now, have fun with him." Fun Ghoul didn't bother to answer, just let himself drop to his knees beside the bed, quickly covering Party Poison again. "Oh fuck, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I couldn't- I tried- I-" It wasn't good enough, and he knew it.
And now the adrenaline had worn off, and he was hurting all over again.
Rave came back in to find Fun Ghoul sitting on Party Poison's bed. "Ghoul? What're you doing?" Fun Ghoul looked up, just as Rave came up beside him. "I realised you'd gone outside… I don't… He shouldn't be left alone."
"And you shouldn't be out of bed." Rave told him. "Ghoul, what's going on? We're all worried about Poison, but you-""I don't know, Rave. I just…" Fun Ghoul sighed. He couldn't explain it, even if he wanted to. "Weren't you the one telling me he's gonna be fine? C'mon, where's my optimistic, hope-giving friend? I'd kinda like him here right now, y'know?" Fun Ghoul smiled slightly, "He's here, he's here." He assured. "Good." Rave said, with a nod. "Now, c'mon, you can't be comfortable, and I'm not going anywhere again."
The next time Fun Ghoul woke up, much of the next day had gone by, and it was Jet Star this time who was keeping an eye on Party Poison.
"Any change?" Jet Star smiled, just a little, but shook his head.
Not long after, Rave came back again. She looked tired, her hair sticking up more wildly than usual, like she'd been dragging her fingers through it constantly. But still she smiled brightly when she saw Fun Ghoul awake again. "I guess you needed that, huh, Ghoul?" Rave said as she sat beside him. Fun Ghoul smiled back, "Guess so."
"Now," Rave continued, "Let's see how you're doing, shall we?"
"What about Poison?"
"I checked him this morning." Rave said, not looking at Fun Ghoul as she pushed up his sleeve to check on his bandages. "Rave." Fun Ghoul said carefully. "You know that's not what I was asking." Rave sighed. "He's… Stable but…" She paused, closed her eyes for a second, then looked right at Ghoul, the intensity was slightly alarming. "Ghoul. He's not healing. At all. I checked him over, twice already today and… Nothing's getting better. He's not getting worse, which is something, but…""Rave." Fun Ghoul interrupted, trying to sound soothing, calming. "It hasn't been that long, and his body's got a lot to deal with. Not to mention whatever drugs they put in him."
"The drugs!" Rave's eyes suddenly went wide. "Fuck! Ghoul! The drugs, they might still be working on him! What if Jimmy didn't finish it? What if-" Then she stopped, abruptly, and stood. "I gotta get Jimmy." Rave had already turned to leave when Fun Ghoul reached out, grapping her arm, he hissed as her accidental move forward tugged on his arm. She looked back, immediately worried, but also confused. "What is it, Ghoul?"
"Don't get Jimmy." He said, and Rave frowned. "Why not?"
"Because…"
Because he hurt Poison. Because he almost raped Poison. Because he came in here last night and he touched Poison, again. Because-
"Because I don't want him near Poison if he doesn't have to be." At least that wasn't a lie. Rave smiled, her turn to try to be reassuring. "Ghoul, c'mon. I know Jimmy's kinda a bastard sometimes, but he's helped, hasn't he? He's not all bad, Ghoul. I know you're worried. But Jimmy's knows about these drugs, he might be the only one who knows what's happening to Poison." At that Fun Ghoul let go of Rave's arm, and she left before he could say anything else.
It was only then at Fun Ghoul thought, How come Saint does know so much about the drugs?
A few minutes later and Rave returned, Saint Jimmy in tow. "I'm sorry Ghoul" Rave said, hurrying back over to him, "I got so wrapped up thinking about Poison I forgot I was meant to be checking on you." Fun Ghoul didn't take his eyes off Saint Jimmy as he replied, "No, it's fine. Don't worry about me." Rave had already sat back down again, now pushing back the covers and tugging his shirt up to get a look at those bandages.
Saint Jimmy was staring right back at him, grinning smugly, raising his eyebrows in a worryingly suggestive way as Fun Ghoul's side and part of his stomach was revealed. Fun Ghoul glared back, and tried to bat Rave's hands away. "I'm fine Rave, worry about Poison." He was sorry it came out snappish, but Saint Jimmy was putting him more and more on edge. "I can worry about two people at the same time." Rave said, with a small grin. "Jimmy." She said, turning around slightly. "Poison isn't healing, and I'm worried it has something to do with whatever it was they put in him at Better Living, what do you know about it?" Saint Jimmy shrugged. "I know a bit." He lied. It was so obvious he was lying. "Could they be preventing him from healing?" Rave pushed. "Possibly." Saint Jimmy replied, with a small shrug. Rave felt like shaking him, at the very least. "Jimmy!" She snapped. Saint Jimmy grinned, triumphant that he'd got such a reaction. "Alright! Alright, yes. It probably would." He finally gave them. Then he frowned. "Fuck, they must've used a lot on him though, I used way more of the antidote than I thought I should, just to make sure I got at it all."
"Are you sure you didn't use too much and fuck him up yourself?" Fun Ghoul asked, not even attempting to hide his accusation. "Ghoul!" Rave exclaimed. "He said it himself! He used more than he should have." Fun Ghoul argued. "You have so little fucking faith in me." Saint Jimmy said, pretending he was hurt. "When it comes to drugs, I know what I'm doing." Fun Ghoul didn't reply, he simply scowled at Saint Jimmy. And Rave rolled her eyes, "Ain't that the truth Jimmy…" Then, "And, with that in mind, could you please tell us if there's something else we need to do to help Poison?" Saint Jimmy shrugged, "Sure." Had it really had to take that long just to get to this point? Saint Jimmy bent down over Party Poison, closely inspecting the puncture wound in his arm, prodding it gently, smoothing his hand across the crease of the inner elbow. Then he smoothed his hand up Party Poison's arm, almost all the way to his armpit, then back down again, all the way to his wrist. All the while frowning slightly, concentrating, his fingers and palm feeling for something. Fun Ghoul watched, uneasily, biting back his impulse to tell Saint Jimmy to stop touching Party Poison. Finally Saint Jimmy looked up, shook his head. "That stuff's thick, potent, you can actually feel it under the skin, you saw, yesterday what it's like. That's how it is once it's really bad, once they've used a lot and it's been in there a long time. If you'd seen it earlier, you would only have been able to see the skin was raised. If it'd been inside him any longer, it would've spread, and once it spread far enough, well, I'm sure you don't need to spell it out for you. Fact is, Better Living wouldn't have left it in that long, they would've drained it before it got to that point. They wanted him hurting, they didn't want him dead. Anyway… Yes, it would've prevented him from healing, but it's definitely all out of him."
Both Rave and Fun Ghoul stared at Saint Jimmy, the latter begrudgingly having to admit to himself that he was impressed. Saint Jimmy smiled, "Told you I know my drugs." He said, proudly. Rave nodded, "Thanks Jimmy, at least we know now."
"Anytime." He said, a small stroke of Party Poison's wrist that Rave didn't see, and then Saint Jimmy let go, stood up. "Now, need any help with this one?" Saint Jimmy asked, nodding his head at Fun Ghoul, who scowled again. "I think we're ok, Jimmy." Rave said, carefully. "Just making sure." He said, with a wink, before turning and heading out the door.
While Rave continued checking him over, Fun Ghoul told her, "I want to get back on my feet now, Rave, I don't like being so helpless."
"Well you got from your bed to Poison's well enough, twice, yesterday, so I guess you could try." Fun Ghoul looked up, wondering how Rave knew about the first time. Rave smiled. "Kobra Kid told me. He said he was worried you'd hurt yourself doing that. I told him you're tougher than you look." Rave grinned, knowing she'd get in trouble for that last comment. "Oh thanks!" Fun Ghoul laughed. Her smile changing slightly now, trying to bring up the same thing she had last night. "But seriously Ghoul… You've gotten more protective over him, over Poison. Is there something I should-""I'm just worried about him, Rave." Fun Ghoul cut it. At least it was true. Rave looked at him, almost sceptical, then nodded. "Let's see if we can get you on your feet, shall we?"
What Fun Ghoul hadn't said, but had so badly wanted to say was,
Yes, I have gotten more protective of him, because, no matter how many fights we've been in with Dracs, or Scarecrows or even the fucking Exterminators, no matter how many times we've nearly been caught out, I have never, never felt like I was gonna loose him, until yesterday. I have never been so fucking scared of anything in my life.
And I realised something else, something I always knew, but something I tried so fucking hard to bury, because he forced me to.
No. That's not fair. He didn't know…
I fucking love him.
And I'm sorry. I don't know what we're supposed to do about that.
