Chapter 6: Moving up the Circles of Hell
The ride to Denny's was quiet. Alice and Jazz were locked in quiet conversation and my mind drifted to Bella and what happened outside IKON. Something had shifted, I was willing to let her in to some extent - I was willing to bring her into my circle with Alice and Jazz. I am not sure to what extent, but I felt calm with her and a little safe in the knowledge she wouldn't push for more than I could give of myself. I am lost in thought driving down Utica towards 41st when Alice gently pokes my arm. I look over and she is smiling quietly at me, her eyes radiating the warmth and acceptance I have come to expect from her.
"Quit being so emo my dear Edward," she says, "Things are fine. You are fine, and this stuff with Bella is good. I can tell by the look on your face that you are going to let her in some."
"Yea, we had a little bit of a talk tonight, outside. I am going to try. There is just something about her. She fits with us and as much as my ass hates to admit it, we seem to fit into her world." I chuckle.
"Who knew that our little Edward would grow up and want to share his toys with the rest of the misfits in town," Jasper laughs batting his eyelashes.
"Fuck off cocksucker," I yell while twisting my arm into the backseat to hit Jazz.
"Missed me, missed me, now you gotta....okay, wait never-mind. I don't want your nasty skank ass kissing me." Jazz snorts through his laughter.
"Fuck you Jazz! You are just jealous of my luscious soft lips and the fact that you will never get to feel them." I say, puckering up my lips and leaning over to kiss Alice on the cheek.
"You're right. I secretly harbor a heavy crush on you, your fine ass, and your luscious lips." Jasper leans forward and gently rubs Edward's neck and then leans in leaving a kiss on his neck. "I think that you and I need some quality time together tonight. Let's drop Alice off at Denny's and you and I can spend some time together."
I laugh and grab Jazz's hand bringing it down my chest as I look at Alice. "You don't mind do you Alice. I just can't hide my feelings anymore."
Alice looks at us with a cross of amusement and lust. She winks saying, "I do mind actually. I don't mind sharing with you, but I need to watch and I think I should get to invite someone to watch with me. Also, not to ruin the mood..," she lowers her voice and sticks her hand in her purse. Smiling mischievously she pulls out a condom and a qtip. "You need to use this and I need a sample."
Jazz falls back against the seat laughing so hard tears are streaming down his face. I growl at Alice but soon the car is filled with all of us laughing and trying to breathe. As I pull into the parking lot at Denny's, we are still laughing and trying to compose ourselves as we walk in looking for everyone. Tears are still coming down my cheeks as I approach the huge booth that is home for all of those from the family of misfits and some who I haven't meet head to the table and Bella scoots over making room for Alice beside her. Jazz grabs a spot next to Crispy, and Chicken moves over to make room between himself and a blond haired guy I haven't seen before tonight.
"Hey guys, let me introduce you to those you haven't meet yet." Bella says. "The guy beside you with the blond hair is Bryn. The guy next to me is Shawn and you know the rest I think."
I nod at everyone and Alice smiles waving in her pixie way while Jazz tilts his head in acknowledgement as he looks intently at the menu. Soon we are all engrossed in conversations, drinking coffee,and smoking cigs. The cacophony of voices seems almost like a symphony of chaos and seems to settle my mind. The demons have taken a well deserved rest seemingly passed out since the club and allowing me to actually enjoy an evening for once. Chicken, Bryn, and I are totally engrossed in a conversation about music when I see a creamer fly through the air towards Bella. I look around trying to figure out where the hell it came from and beside me I feel Chicken slide under the table and head to the end of the aisle at the opposite end of the restaurant.
"Hell yea, its time," Chicken yells jumping up and down like a two year old waiting to open Christmas presents.
"Oh hell no, it is not time." Bella yells trying to hide behind Alice.
Shawn grabs her and holds her facing front and another creamer comes sailing down the aisle straight towards Bella's cleavage. I follow the arc of the flying object as it hits the side of Bella's breast and ricochets off onto the floor. The shirt she has on shows her cleavage and her large breasts. Following down her front, my eyes take in her small waist, nice hips and ass and the tone legs that are encased in her jeans. Her body is seriously curvaceous but firm. My eyes move back up lingering on her breasts again as I see a creamer fall into her cleavage.
"Hell yes. Point 1 for me." Chicken fist pumps.
"No more Chicken. My cleavage is not a toy." Bella laughs.
"Aw, come on Mom. Please. It is just too much fun." Chicken walks forward and gets on his knees in front of Bella folding his hands in a prayer and batting his eyelashes at her.
"Sorry sweets. No more playtime. Next time I will let you have two shots." Bella smiles and rubs her hand across his cheek.
"Okay, fine." Chicken pouts playfully and then stands up kissing Bella on the cheek.
Alice is laughing so hard tears are coming down her cheeks and Jazz is choking on his coffee. I start laughing at the scene and then suddenly realize that this is the first time in months that I have honestly laughed at something that Alice or Jazz didn't have something to do with. I also realize as I watch Chicken kiss Bella's cheek that I am insanely jealous of how everyone hugs and kisses on her; especially having no idea what everyone's relationship is with her. I mean have they dated, had sex, what? My mind starts its descent into hell as I wonder why I truly care - I can't be in a relationship with her because that would mean that I would have to share things with her that no one really knows. Those things are mine to deal with and I already feel like spilling my guts every time she is around. I need to find out more about her and stabilize the connection made at the club first. Baby steps for the boy who is so tortured by his past that he can't even sleep without a light on. Baby Jeebus I am pathetic.
I am pulled out of my mind by Chicken asking if I want to step outside. I nod, knowing some fresh air will wake me up a little as I haven't had a fix in awhile and the demons have been sufficiently hog tied for the moment. I want to take advantage of the quiet without my own personal medications as long as possible. Chicken and I walk around to the front of the Denny's and sit on the brick wall. Nothing is said for awhile, but it is nice - no expectations.
"Just so you know, I don't usually go half cocked like earlier tonight. I was just having a really bad day." Chicken says quietly staring up at the stars.
"Don't need to explain anything to me, really. Believe me I get it." I say and under my breathe mumble "More than you know"
"I know you do the shit too. I can tell. I won't say anything to anyone else, but just know that Crispy and Grandma and Bella are pretty fucking observant." he says, no sign of judgement in his voice.
"It keeps the demons quiet." I say softly.
"That it does." he says.
We sit there for a little while longer, smoking cigs and just looking at the stars.
"Come on, let's go back in before Bella sends out a search party. " he laughs.
As we step back in, people are getting up to leave figuring out rides and paying the tab. Alice looks over at me and smiles that evil pixie grin.
"Okay, who is taking mom home?" Shane asks, looking around. "My car is full and I am going the opposite direction."
"I can take her" I say as I pull money out of my wallet to help cover the tab of our excessive coffee drinking and mass amount of appetizers that have been consumed in the last 3 hours.
"Thanks." Bella says grabbing her purse and my hand and starting for the door.
The ride to her house is quiet. Alice and Jazz cuddle in the back, music playing, and everyone tired from the long day and night. It is 5 am and the sun is starting to come up as I pull into Bella's driveway. I look around for her mother's car, but don't see anything.
"Bella, is your mom around?" I ask.
"Um, no. She is somewhere this weekend." she quietly says, not looking me in the eye, "probably fucking some random guy." she mumbles.
"Are you okay by yourself?" I ask suddenly concerned that she would be by herself all day.
"Yea, I am usually here by myself. I mean sometimes some of the guys stay the night or we have sleepovers, but I will be okay." Bella notes looking up into my eyes.
I notice she seems a little unsure about being here by herself - not scared, just not wanting to be alone again. It seems like she is forever by herself and the more I am slowly learning in snippets about Tanya I really didn't like her. No wonder Bella kept people around her and felt like taking care of everyone.
" I probably should have just gone to Grandma's, but I have been over there every night this last week so I kinda wanted to be home." she states, no real emotion in her voice.
Alice suddenly pipes up as I am thinking of how to deal with the situation. "Why don't we stay the night. It is already late and I am exhausted."
"Really?" Bella asks "That would be great."
"Yea, I love a slumber party and the boys can cook breakfast or whatever our first meal is tomorrow. Jazz can cook like nothing else." Alice giggles.
"Is that all right with you, Edward?" Bella asks her head tilting downward.
I gently lifted her chin with my finger, "Yes, that would be great. Just let me call Esme and leave her a message."
I pull out my cell phone and call Esme leaving her a message. Turning off the car, all of us get out and trudge our now weary bodies into Bella's house. Her house is nice and comfy and definitely more Bella than I would imagine her mom. Bella has two rooms each with a bed, but it is obvious one is more for TV watching and hanging out. Both rooms are connected and she points to the bed in the TV room.
"Jazz and Alice, you can sleep in here. There are some sleep clothes in that dresser. I think some guys pants and I know some big shirts. Everyone always leaves stuff here so I started just keeping it for extra clothes if people stayed the night."
"Um, Edward you can either sleep with me in my bed or in my mom's room. Although I should probably change the sheets on her bed if you want to sleep in there." she says with a smirk.
I take off my jacket and throw it over her desk chair. " I can handle sleeping in your bed as long as you don't steal the covers." I laugh.
"No, no cover stealing, but I do cuddle." she says trying to keep a straight face.
"Cuddling I can handle." I say bending down to undo my combat boots. I finally get my boots off and pull off my socks. I pull my belt out of the loops on my jeans and head towards the bed.
Alice pokes her head in and puckers her lips. "I need my goodnight kiss my dear Edward."
"Of course my dear pixie." I walk over to the door and lean down giving her a kiss on the lips. Suddenly, Jazz is in the door.
"Where is my kiss Edward? Are you dumping me for Alice?" he says his mouth fighting a grin and an evil twinkle in his eye. He grabs my neck and pulls me to his lips laying a sloppy kiss. I pull back and wink at him.
"Gosh, Jazz. You sure know how to woo a man." I say.
I hear a shout of laughter as I turn to see Bella in some pj pants and a sex pistols shirt. "Aw, how cute. You and Jazz would make a great couple." she says laughing as she crawls into her bed.
"Night everyone." she yells and rolls over to her side.
I walk over to the other side and climb in laying on my stomach and hoping that I can sleep tonight without nightmares. Shit! I hadn't thought of that when I agreed to spend the night. My eyes pulled shut, unable to keep stay open any longer. I could hear Bella snoring slightly next to me and I continue to drift off into sleep. The next thing I know, I feel movement on my chest and I notice my arm feels heavy. I open my eyes and look over to my is curled into it with her head on my arm and her hand on my chest. I laugh to myself, she is definitely a cuddler. I maneuver myself out from under her, head to the bathroom, and then to the kitchen. I start the coffee and glance at the time. It is 1pm so I figure it is time to wake Jazz up and start lunch.
I head into where where they are sleeping, bend over and tweak Jazz's nipples.
"Alice, stop it. " he whines.
I try not to laugh as I do it again. "Damn it Alice I am trying to sleep."
Finally, it is too much and I laugh loudly causing Jazz to open his eyes. He glares at me as I throw him his jeans.
"Get up, we have strict instructions to cook food." I say.
"Fine, fine. I am moving. Let me put Alice in bed with Bella and then we can start. In other words, I will cook while you stand there and look like an idiot." Jazz snarls.
"Such a morning person, my dear Jazz. How I do love you like this." I smirk as I head back towards the kitchen. The coffee is ready so I grab a cup and start looking through the cabinets and the refrigerator. As I am looking for food to put together for lunch, I suddenly stop. I realize that last night I didn't have a nightmare and that I actually slept. That hasn't happened in years. I just stand there staring into the cabinets unsure of what it means and why. I finally shrug it off figuring it is because I felt safe with Alice and Jazz around; not to mention the fact that I was exhausted from lack of sleep and too much crank in the last week.
Jazz stumbles into the kitchen as I hand him his coffee. He grunts and starts pulling out stuff to make omelets and french toast. I stand back knowing that it is best for me to wait for instructions than try and step into his groove; especially when he is this cranky. Jazz finishes lunch and sends me to wake up the girls. I step into Bella's room and have to cover my mouth not to laugh out-loud. Bella and Alice are completely entwined with each other. Legs over legs and snuggled into each other, foreheads touching. I pull out my phone and take a picture. This is just too good!
I walk over to the bed and lean over Bella. I gently stroke her cheek, "Bella," I whisper, "Time to wake up." She moves but other than that nothing.
I move over to Alice and try the same thing. Alice moves and rolls onto her back, but doesn't open her eyes. I try being louder but still nothing. I smirk to myself as I head into the kitchen. I grab a glass of water from the sink and head back to Bella's room. I try one more time to wake them up and when I get no response I throw the water onto the bed hitting both of them with the ice cold.
"What the FUCK you motherfucking cocksucker!" Alice jumps out of bed. Her eyes dart to me glaring and she steps forward.
Bella shrieks and glares up at me from the bed. She looks at Alice and smirks.
I hold up my hands in surrender. " I tried to wake you all up several times. Nothing was working, this was the last resort. Lunch is ready." I say trying to hide my laughter. I turn to walk towards the dining room when I am suddenly jumped from behind. Alice is on my back, her wet clothes sticking to me and Bella has grabbed my belt loops. They yank me to the bed and I fall over as Alice jumps from my back and straddles me. She grins her evil pixie grin and starts wiggling her fingers.
"Bella, grab his arms." she states. Bella reaches for my arms and I struggle trying to get my arms back but not throw Alice completely across the room.
"No, Alice, my sweet dear pixie of a best friend. Don't tickle me. Please. Please." I squeal (yes I squealed. Get over it).
"Oh, yes my dear sweet Edward. You deserve at least this." she smiles and starts tickling me under my arms and down my sides. I am laughing so hard that I am not paying attention and suddenly I am drenched with ice cold water. I open my eyes and Jazz is standing over me smiling.
"That's what you get for tweakin my nipples fuckward." Jazz says and turns for the dining room.
I just lay there and laugh. Alice crawls up my chest and gives me a kiss on the cheek and so does Bella.
"Come on, let's eat." Bella says.
They head into the dining room and I lay there for a minute thinking how nice today has been. The demons are quiet, I actually got some sleep, and I am having fun with Bella. I still don't completely understand her or my own infatuation with her, but I guess it has been alright. Just as long as she doesn't try and change me we are good. I stand up and pull off my shirt since it is soaked and head to the table to eat. As I sit down, I hear an intake of breath. I look up and Bella's eyes are wide and as she catches mine she goes back to eating. I am trying to figure out why she gasped and then it hits me. I was comfortable enough to take my shirt off. I didn't think about it. Her eyes come up to mine and she slowly gazes down at my chest and over my biceps taking in my scars and my form of communion - my form of salvation. She says nothing and continues to eat. I am suddenly uncomfortable so I head to her extra room to grab a dry shirt out of the dresser. As I turn to head back out to the table, Alice is standing there.
"Not today Alice." I quietly say, not looking her in the eye.
She says nothing at first and walks over and hugs me. "I love you." she says staring into my eyes and then turns and walks out of the room.
I head back to the table and we all finish eating. Nothing is said about what everyone saw on me without my shirt on. Jazz and Alice have seen it before and I was sure that Bella would bring it up, but she didn't. After eating we spent time just hanging out. At about 5pm, I stood up, stretching.
"Well guys, let's get home. I need to talk with Esme and could really use a shower and some clean clothes." I state.
Alice and Jazz grab their stuff and we head outside to the car. Bella stands on her porch and waves. "If you get out tonight we will be Denny's later. Stop by. Otherwise I will see you on Monday. Oh, and thank you for staying last night." she says quietly.
"No problem Bella. Anytime." I say looking at her - still trying to figure out what it is about her. As I am staring I feel the keys jingle in my hands. I look down and notice the tremors that are starting. Oh fuck! Not good. I need to get home and get fixed before I start some withdrawal shit. Alice notices and motions to Jazz who grabs the keys and puts them into the ignition.
"Be safe tonight." I say to her and she smiles shyly before responding, "Do you honestly think anyone can get to me with all those big brothers around?"
I laugh and slide into the car, drop Jazz and Alice off, and head to my house. When I get home Esme is out, so I head upstairs and into the bathroom. I start the shower turning the hot water on full blast and let the steam fold out over the glass door. I sit in the middle of the floor and pull everything out. My hands are shaking so bad I know I can't shoot up so I start dicing everything into lines on the tray that I keep under my sink. I lay out 4 lines, hoping that will be enough to satisfy the tremors, the demons, and still allow my exhausted body to sleep. I lean over and pull the nectar into my nostrils, sucking back, feeling the burn, and tasting it in the back of my throat. I lean back resting on my arms tilting my head back enjoying the burn down my throat and inside my nose. Finally I clean up, drop my clothes on the floor and step into the shower. I stand under the heat thinking over the day and last night and even in-spite of myself I smile. I enjoyed myself and the demons have kept their distance. Can't ask for much more than that I think to myself.
I lay on my bed after my shower, naked, and enjoying the feel of the scars under my hands as I run my fingers over the raised flesh. I admit that having Bella see them threw me for a loop, but she wanted to know me so know she can see just how fucked I am. The scars that are there aren't just from me, there are some from my days with my parents but no one knows that - not even Alice or Jazz. They think I have done them all. My eyes finally start to drift down and I succumb to sleep, hoping for another dream free night.
My mom is standing over me, gently shaking me to wake me up. "Come on angel, I need you to get up for me." I smile at her, but suddenly my smile stops. Mommy is crying. "Why are you crying mommy?" She smiles at me and shakes her head, "Nothing to worry about angel. Come on." I slide out of bed and grab her offered hand. I follow her into the living room and notice a couple of people there I have never seen before. I hide behind her, grabbing her legs, and burying my head against her. "Awe, someone is shy." says one of the women in the group. "Don't worry little one, we won't hurt you." My mom looks down at me and smiles pulling me from behind her. A hand reaches out and my father grabs me pulling me into the center of the room. "Okay, for two days of labor - anything goes, it is $1000. He can clean, he can cook some, and he is extremely well behaved." I look at my mom, but she is backing out of the room. I stare at my father, knowing better than to say anything or he will hit me. I close my eyes, I am not sure what is going on but suddenly there are hands feeling my head, pinching my cheeks touching me all over. Finally, I hear one woman say, "I will take him the first time. I can train him for everyone else." My father laughs and agrees. "Feel free to beat him. He won't scream." I open my eyes as an unfamiliar hand grabs mine and pulls me to the door. I start screaming, "Mommy, mommy, come save me. Come get your angel." She shakes her head and turns from me and as I continue screaming, a fist flies into my mouth. I close my eyes but continue to kick. I don't want to leave. I grab the door frame and scream again. This time the woman grabs me and starts shaking me......
My arms are flying all over the place trying to get away from the hands on my shoulders. I can hear a voice, "Edward, honey. Wake up baby. It's okay, your safe. It's Esme." I try and focus on the voice, try to pull myself out from the darkness, tears start falling down my cheeks. I can feel them and finally my mind breaks free of the memories. I open my eyes and there is Esme her hair everywhere sitting in her pajamas holding onto me. I say nothing, just curl into a ball my head in her lap. She adjusts so her back is against the headboard and strokes my hair.
"I'm sorry I woke you up." I state, my voice gravely from crying and screaming.
"Hush now baby. Go back to sleep. I am here and your safe." she says still running her hands through my hair.
I close my eyes, knowing she will sleep here with me tonight and as I begin to drift back into sleep I hear the demons laughing You actually thought you could escape us. Nope, not so much. We just gave you a break so you would know what you are missing. We love torturing you to much. You still remember with such clarity, it is amazing to relieve it through your eyes. I tightly squeeze my eyes shut and try to ignore them concentrating on Esme's voice and her hands in my hair, saying the mantra in my head "They are dead, they are dead."
I wake up the next morning with the covers laid over me and sun shining into my room from the french doors on my balcony. I realize I want to do nothing today but stay in bed, feed the demons, and try to find salvation. I get up lock my door and head back to bed. I pull out my tools and lay them out. I pull out my journal knowing that I will be writing later something else to help exercise the demons and make sense of the ramblings in my brain. I begin the communion - chest first, carving over the initials already scarred into my skin; then my stomach; next my arms. Blood pools in my hands, sliding down my arms, dripping onto my legs. I become numb; this is what I need and want. I get up and head to the shower letting the hot water scald my skin and stinging into the fresh cuts. I dry off and head back to bed. I take my lines and begin again. Rinse and repeat until clean.
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I wake up early on Monday. Soccer practice starts and I need to get my ass moving, and as requested must be sober for practice. I still don't know how the hell Coach knew; but whatever. I throw my uniform into a bag, grab my backpack and head downstairs. Esme is sitting at the table with Carlisle and smiles at me when I come into the kitchen.
"Hey mom. Thanks for the other night." I say as I lean down and kiss her cheek.
She nods and puts her hand on my cheek. "Anything for you baby. You feel any better?"
"Yea, better. Hey Dad." I nod to Carlisle.
"Hey Edward. You gonna be home tonight. Though we might play some soccer and get both of us back in shape." he smirks.
"Yea, I will be home." I wave as I walk out the door and head to school.
I throw on my cleats while I am in the car and head over to the soccer field. Coach is already there and warm ups are just starting. I jump into a space by Jasper and start stretching. Neither of us talk, it is way to fucking early and we know that we are going to need all the oxygen we have here in about 15 minutes. I zone out letting my body burn through the stretches and jump when Coach yells for us to start running around the field. 45 minutes and 5 miles later, I am chugging water and trying to breath. I sound like a damn woman having a baby. I am fuck all holy hell out of shape. I turn to Jasper and notice he isn't much better and I smirk at him as he flips me off. Coach yells for us to move to the weight room as the girls team has the field for a bit. I grab some more water and Jazz and I head over to the weight room. As I am pulling off my cleats so I can walk barefoot to the weight room, I hear someone yell my name. I glance up figuring it is one of the girls in the Club as many of them play soccer. (Hey, don't judge. We travel a lot. I get bored. So sue me.) I look around trying to figure it out when a gently kiss is laid on my sweaty cheek.
"Morning sugar. How was training?" Bella asks.
"Fine. I am not dead yet. That is always a good sign. I didn't know you played?" I say still trying to breathe normally after getting my ass kicked this morning.
"Well, you never asked. You are usually a little busy engaging in bathroom sex to carry on long conversations at school." she waves as she turns to run to the field.
Jazz is laughing and as I turn my gaze on him, his hands come up. "Hey man. I didn't say a word. Although, she does have a point."
"Fuck you, Jazz." I grunt. " Come on, let's go get your pansy ass some biceps."
The rest of the day rushes past and as we meet on the ramp after school we all seem a little tired and run down. Bella kisses us all and walks to her Grandma's car and I watch her hips sway. I shake my head and turn to wave at Alice and Jazz.
"I am going home. I am exhausted from practice and Carlisle wants to play tonight." I lean into Alice and gently tweak her nose and bump Jazz's fist. "Call me later."
They both agree and we all head our separate ways into our separate heavens and hells.
The rest of the month flies by for me. Practice is kicking my ass; school is school; my demons and I are talking too much and my intake of powder has increased; sleep is nonexistent for the most part; sex is sex and I am continuing to take advantage of the roomy counter space within the fine institution that I call a high school; and Alice, Jazz, and Bella are all the same. We seem to be getting used to each other. Time is spent hanging out at Bella's and Grandma's but we all seem to be trying to find our space within a group that includes all of us. No conversation ever trapses past the circumstantial. I continue to hide and I am not the only one. It is content space we fill together, but something is straining on the edges pushing us to see more.
As the last Friday of the month pulls to a close, Bella invites us to her house for the weekend. Her mom is gone and everyone is hanging there. I shrug and tell her I will let her know. I am unsure of sleeping there again; especially with all those people.
"Please come Dark Angel. I really want to spend some time talking to you this weekend. This last month has been nice, but superficial." she whispers in my ear.
My body is covered in goosebumps and I shiver. Well that is a new reaction to her. "I will call you and let you know." I need to get out of here, so I quickly kiss Alice on the cheek and wave at Jazz almost running to my car.
Once I get home, I head up to my room to debate going to spend the weekend at Bella's. My mind is cluttered with thoughts of hanging out and having fun, but the minute I think of sleeping over there I start to get the cold sweats. Of course, my demons purr, you could always just stay high the whole time. No sleeping needed. I sadly nod my head knowing that may be my answer as I really want to go and spend time with Chicken, Crispy, and Bella. I realize that I haven't had sex with anyone from the club of Edward in about two weeks. Weird for me, although I have been getting plenty of release. Unfortunately, it has all revoled around Bella - usually Bella's sweet little mouth around my cock or me fucking her tits. If I am going to survive tonight at all, I need to get laid.
I pull my phone off the nightstand and flip through my contacts. Let's see...who to call...my demons mutter. We want rough so let's call Lauren. She likes it rough and never complains when we push her too far. I groan, but know better than to fuck with the demons and my own needs. I am so out of sorts with this Bella thing that the only thing keeping the demons at bay and my from having a complete breakdown like when I was younger is playing soccer, the drugs, the cutting, and the fucking. I push send and wait for Lauren to pick up. It rings three times before her breathy voice comes over the phone.
"Hey baby." she purrs.
"Hey Lauren. What are you up to?" I ask. I mean I am not a complete dick. I at least will talk a little before I demand she come over for sex.
"Nothing. Just got out of the shower. What about you?" her voice husky in its intent.
"Thinking about your fine ass. How about you come over for a little bit?" I smirk as I say this; knowing that she is already probably to the door. It's not that I am really that cocky, but she really likes my dick.
"I think I can mange that. How about I be there in about 10 minutes?" she asks and I hear clothing rustling in the background.
"That would be perfect. Oh, and Lauren?" I say lowly.
"Yea." she mumbles.
"Only wear a jacket. No clothes underneath and you better be ready when you get here. It is going to be hard and I don't want to waist time. Come straight upstairs." I say enonciating each word knowing the effect they have on her.
"Oh fuck me. " she whispers "Be right there."
"Oh I intend to my dear. " I laugh and hang up the phone.
I jump off the bed, checking the side table for condoms. Alice keeps sending me email pics of various stages of STI's and well, let us just say that I am now wrapping my shit up. I quickley lay out two lines and inhale them just finishing licking off the residue from the mirror when I hear my bedroom door open. I take one look in the mirror and quickly look away. My eyes are not green they are black, dark and dead, my skin looks like a corpse left to long in the humid summer heat of the South. I walk through the bathroom door, pulling the buttons on my jeans down and eye Lauren. She looks up at me and gasps. I have no idea what I look like but I can hear the demons - their hands glapping, they reach behind their back and pull out the handcuffs and whip. I stalk towards her my jeans slowly sliding down to rest on my hips with the tip of my hard cock visible.
"Drop the jacket, hands on the bed, ass towards me." I snarl. I am in no mood to be patient. I am pissed, the demons have control, and I need to fuck.
Lauren hesitates and then complies looking over her shoulder. "Edward, please take off your shirt. I want to see your body."
"Shut the fuck up Lauren. No, the shirt stays on." I say as I grab her hair and arch her neck back. I lick up her neck and whispering in her ear as I pull my cock free from my jeans "You have always just wanted my dick Lauren. Anything change?"
I glide my dick against her slit, already soaking from my words. I tease not letting her have it just yet. I pull her hair tighter, nipping at her neck. Finally I pull my hips back, open my mouth against her neck and just as I slam into her I bit her neck.
"Fuck Edward. Oh, god. That feels so good." she breathes.
"You want it harder my little cum slut." I grit through clenched teeth. I let go of her hair and grab her waist, pulling almost all the way out, waiting for her whimpers before I slam back in. I am in control of this, I need to control this.
"Please, please. I need you to fuck me. It's been too long. Nobody fucks like you Edward. Please" Lauren whimpers.
I slam back into her, gripping her hips tighter, slamming into her as fast as I can. I hear her screaming but I ignore it. The demons are breathing hard, almost ready to explode. They are getting off on the anger. I grab the back of her neck with one hand and her shoulder with the other. I pull out one last time and then with everything I have slam my hips against her. I feel her convulse around me.
"Fuck me, motherfuck." Lauren yells as she comes, her upper body falling against the bed.
"Oh, shit." I grumble as I feel my cock twitch and finally release - hard. There was no emotion to the sex or the release; just a necessary function. The demons fall onto their chairs and take a shot of Patron.
I pull out, throw the condom away, and pull up my pants. Lauren is still against the bed trying to catch her breath. She stands up and looks at me and I notice for the first time that her eyes hold emotion that shouldn't be there when it comes to me.
"Lauren," I say almost as a warning.
She gazes at me. "I would do anythng for you Edward if you would just let me. You know I like you. I always have. Do you think I would let you do this to me if I didn't? Do you think I like just being your fuck toy? " she says her voice calm but full of emotion.
"Lauren, you know the rules. I do not care what you want or your feelings in this. You are a fuck - that is it end of story. You want it to end, tell me and I won't call you anymore. We will be friends like always, but you and I will NEVER be." I coldly state.
Her eyes well with tears but her voice is steady, "No, Edward. I still want this. Whatever, however I get you is how it is. I have liked you since we were in 9th grade. I take what I can get, maybe some day you will change your mind. If you don't, at least I get a good fuck."
"Lauren, I want to say I am sorry but I am not. Get dressed and go home. I am done with my fuck toy for the night." I say as I lean in and kiss her cheek.
She gathers her stuff and leaves. I turn to the bathroom and head to the shower. As I am about to get in my phone beeps. I scroll to the text message.
Hey DarkAngel. Hope I will see you tonight and you had a good afternoon. xoxo B
I step into the shower as the demons take another shot and smile wickedly oh the places you will go tonight my dear sweet Edward. Hope you are prepared. We are going to have fun.
