A/N: Happy Monday... everyone, give an unenthusiastic, 'yay'.
My muscles are frozen, I'm in shock. A few seconds pass with neither of us saying anything.
Then I pull my hand away, "Gale, how could you say these things? I-I don't what to do?! Why? Why?! I don't think about those things, Gale… You-You've… How could you feel…"
I start stumbling backwards away from him.
"Catnip-"
"No, Gale… We're friends… friends, I-I'm not thinking that far into the future, Gale. I don't know what you expect me to say."
"I guess I just wanted to explain myself to you... But don't you see, when I'm 21 you'll be turning 18... Our house would be by the property line, I know the perfect spot, it'll be small at first, but I'll build it well. We'd live close to your folks and mine. We'll be able to merge our two farms. It'd be perfect."
"Gale, stop it. Stop saying these things. I can't think… I can't think," I stammer. Then I turn and run.
How can he say those things to me! He can't just spring his feelings on me like that! What did he think I would do? Did he expect me to have known about his feelings? I think back over our friendship, a few years ago I remembered getting mad at him when he tried to hold me hand. I had told Mama and Papa about it later that day and Papa had chuckled over my look of indignation, "He's just growing up, little bird. Don't worry about it for now."
"I'm not going to grow up like that, Papa," I had told him firmly.
I reach the back of our house and lean against the wall, I try to visualize the picture that Gale has painted for our future. Living close to Mama and Papa, that would be nice… But could I really be married to Gale, be his wife and have him for my husband. I can't let myself visualize that. My mind drifts to Peeta, now it's clear that Gale is jealous of him, could I marry Peeta? I don't know what Peeta wants to do with his life, probably be in town, could I live in town, so close to so many people?
The back door opens and Mama pokes her head out and looks at me.
"Come on in, Katniss, you can get lost in your thoughts while kneading the bread."
I push away from the wall and follow her inside. Prim is washing the blackberries and making sure there aren't any little stems still attached.
"Mama said we could make a pie for dessert," Prim says.
The next few minutes are spent in silence. Mama finally breaks it.
"Prim tells me that Gale sent that Mellark boy off."
"He did."
"He's just looking after you. Don't be too hard on him."
"Oh Mama," I said and tears started leaking out of the corners of my eyes, "Mama, it's terrible, just terrible… I don't know what to do."
Mama wiped her hands on her apron before coming over to me and resting a hand on my back, "Calm down. Don't want to get any tears in the dough, don't want over salted bread now."
I let out a little laugh and dab my eyes with the dough-free backs of my hands.
"What happened?"
"Gale," I start, then shake my head, "First he started telling me that I needed to stick with my own kind, you know farmers… Then he started telling me about how he's going to get the west fields for his own when he's 21, and he already has a spot picked out for the house that'll be close to both of our families, and oh, Mama, I can't think about marrying him! When he thinks about his future, he said that I'm always in it… I just don't think about my future like that, Mama."
I looked up at her and saw that she was shocked.
"He shouldn't have spoken like that to you. Of course you aren't thinking about marriage yet, you are just barely 13! Your Papa will have to have a talk with him."
"Oh, Mama, I'm so embarrassed. I don't think I'll ever be able to face him."
"You have nothing to be embarrassed about. He shouldn't have put you on the spot like that."
"I ran away from him after he said all those things."
"For not being of courting age yet, Katniss, you sure do have the suitors lining up," Prim said with a wide grin.
"Prim, don't poke fun."
Supper was solemn, Mama waited until after we were done eating to explain the happenings of that afternoon.
Just as she finished there was a knock on the door.
Papa got up to answer it.
"Excuse me, sir, I hope I'm not interrupting your supper… I was hoping to speak to Katniss." I freeze and look up as I hear Gale's voice.
"I need to go and see to the barn, how about you join me and lend a hand for a moment."
Papa steps outside and closes the door behind him.
It doesn't matter what Gale or Papa says, nothing will change what had already been spoken. I can't view Gale in that way, I just can't. We grew up as best friends, practically brother and sister, how can he suddenly see me as a wife, his wife.
The table is cleared and dishes washed, Mama is crocheting a piece of lace, while Prim is concentrating on her cross-stitches, which I'm also trying to do, but keep losing count and I give up and pick up a book that I can pretend to read while we wait for Papa to come back. What was taking them so long, I know Papa had the evening chores to do, which I sometimes help him with, but they don't usually take this long.
Finally Papa comes through the door and tells me Gale would like to speak with me. I stare at Papa wide eyed, "Do I have to, Papa?" I whisper.
"He just wants to apologize, little bird."
I set the book that I hadn't been reading down and walked to the front door.
Gale has his back to me but turns when he hears me come out. He looks so mature right now, so much a man. He's not the same boy who taught me how to climb trees and set snares, those days are gone.
"I'm sorry, Katniss," He said and hung his head, "I was too forward… I thought it was best for you to know where I stand, but I shouldn't have… I shouldn't've said anything."
I'm quiet for a while, he seems to be waiting for me to say something.
"I don't know what to say, Gale. I'm not thinking about that stuff yet. I don't want to think about that yet."
"I know… I am sorry."
Silence again, then he asks, "We're still friends, right?"
That question makes my heart hurt, apart from Prim, he's always been my very best friend, I don't want to lose him… but how can I act like nothing happened?
"I want to be friends, Gale. Everything is changing and I don't know what to do." I put my head in my hands and sigh. Why did we have to grow up? Couldn't we just stay as we were, friends?
There was such an awkwardness between us now.
Gale mumbled an apology again and then he left.
Why did things have to change?
I'll leave you on a random note: Money doesn't buy happiness, but it CAN buy you cupcakes, which is close enough.
