S.E. Hinton owns The Outsiders, not me.
It was nearly lunch and if Curly and Angela were doing what they were supposed to they'd be sitting in a hard desk seat at Will Rogers. Tim's whereabouts were a gamble. He could be at home, then again he might not.
Paula twisted the knob of the door slowly and pushed it open. She didn't enter right away; instead she peered into the darkness hesitantly. Once she was satisfied that no one was home she kicked off her shoes and skipped to the kitchen. Bent over with her head in the fridge Paula sifted through the moulded food to find something worth eating.
"There a reason you're sneaking around?" a voice came from behind her.
It spooked her and she slammed her head on the top of the fridge.
"Damn it Tim, you nearly gave me a heart attack," Paula shot back.
"You'll be lucky if that's all I give you," Tim drawled slowly, leaning against the kitchen counter.
Paula narrowed her eyes at her brother and shut the fridge door behind her.
"Tim you ain't my father so stop acting like you are," Paula muttered angrily.
"You sound like Curly and Angela, but they smartened up real quick," Tim's cool voice seemed to echo throughout the entire horse. If Tim wasn't her brother she would seriously be scared for her life.
"What are you doing with that asshole? And don't even think of lying to me."
Paula bit the inside of her cheek, choosing her next words carefully.
"He's been helping me out," she started slowly.
"Helping you out with what Paula," Tim's eyes narrowed at his sister. He was annoyed that much was clear, there was nothing else that Paula could do.
"Just stuff I've been going through," she tried again.
"And what horrible thing are you possibly going through?" he sneered, he hands in the air.
What he said ignited a fire in Paula that she hadn't quite known was there.
"You're right Tim, how could I possibly be going through anything when you've got it so damn tough. You got a gang to lead and you've got to support this family," Paula spat out, her voice rising well over her brother's now, "How could me or Curly or Angela have anything to worry about we are just little children after all. All you do is boss us around like we have no feelings at all."
Her words seemed to get a rise out of Tim as he jumped to his feet and grabbed the back of a kitchen chair and whipped it to the side.
"Shut your fucking mouth, kid." Tim shot back, taking a few steps toward her, "No kid sister of mine will be slumming around with a River King while all this shit is going on. I won't be made a fool, you got it?"
"I'll do whatever I want," Paula spit out. She knew it was the wrong thing to say and she knew what she had coming wouldn't be pretty but she'd had enough of Tim telling her what to do. She'd had enough of her dysfunctional family.
When his hand reached out and slapped her across the face she wasn't surprised but she couldn't ignore the sting. The sting of the face pain and the sting of being hit by her own brother. She'd seen him slap Angela a few times and he pushed Curly around plenty but he had never actually laid a hand on her before.
"What the hell is going out here?" a new voice rang out from the doorway. Angela and Marion, Paula's mother, had just gotten home in time to see the show unfolding.
"Paula's out here gallivanting like a good ole' whore," Tim threw his hands up in despair, as though he couldn't believe it.
"It ain't the only she's doing," Angela piped in. Paula sent a glare in her direction. Her eyes begged Angela not to say anything but Angela's face remained stony. "She's been sneaking off every night to smoke dope."
"What's fucking wrong with you child," Paula's mom's tired eyes flared as she approached her youngest daughter.
What was wrong with her? Tim was a gang leader. Curly was in and out of reform school. Angela had probably contracted every disease out there. Her mama was the whore who stayed with a drunk of a husband who beat her.
"This family is what's wrong with me, mama," Paula sucked in some air, "It ain't even my real family. Apparently I ain't the only whore in this family."
It might have been a slight exaggeration. Her mama was her mama and Tim and Curly were her brother's and Angela was her sister but she felt excluded from the family bond, a weak one, but a bond nonetheless.
"Where the fuck did that come from? Huh?" Her mom stepped closer so that she was in touching distance.
"Rick opened his mouth, but the way I see it," Paula stepped back, "I deserve to know who the hell my father is."
"What the hell is she talking about?" Tim asked forcefully. Paula's mom froze as she looked from her youngest to her oldest, both staring at her intently. Instead she shuffled back towards the door.
With a look of defeat she uttered the single word that Paula had been waiting for.
"Bobby."
And then she was gone, down the porch steps and onto the street where she disappeared.
"Who the fuck is Bobby? What the hell are you talking about?" Tim grabbed her arm and yanked her around to face him.
Paula shrugged. Wasn't it obvious?
"Bobby," she slid the name over her tongue, testing it out.
"Who's Bobby?" asked Angela.
"My old man, I guess," Paula took in the look disbelief plastered on her sister's face and knew that it was the first time she'd heard this information. But when Paula looked over towards her brother again she knew right then that he'd known something.
"But you knew that Tim," Paula shook his hand off her arm. She could hear Angela mumbling something about always being the last to know.
"I didn't know his name, I just remembered her with him when I was a kid," Tim said with his eyes closed, "she'd bring him around the house when our father was working."
"Your father," Paula muttered. It still felt weird to say it out loud, completely contradicting something she'd thought she known all her life.
XXX
She'd run out of the house before either of her siblings could say much more to her. She didn't want to hear what they thought about the situation. Whatever they would say it would be far from comforting.
Instead she was headed off down to see Ponyboy. She knew she'd been neglecting their friendship for the last while and it was as good of a time as any other to make an effort.
Climbing the stairs of the Curtis's house she realized that school probably wasn't even over yet. Tired from the last twelve hours she sank into the front porch bench and dozed off to sleep.
The next thing she knew she was laying on the wooden floor of the porch and someone was standing over her.
"Why weren't you at school?" Pony questioned her, his face void of any emotion.
"Too much excitement at the Shepard house," she answered, covering her eyes with the back of her hands, blocking out the intense sunshine. She really wanted to talk to Pony, but she didn't want the lecture she was sure he'd be itching to give.
"Are you alright?" Pony asked, sitting down next to her. She watched him pull out his cigarettes and a pack of matches. He lit one and passed it over to her and then lit one for himself. It was a routine they'd gotten into when they were younger. She'd never had money to buy her own cigarettes and always ended up asking Pony for a drag eventually.
"I guess," Paula mumbled, gazing out onto the street.
"Just spill Paula," slapped her leg, bringing her attention back to her friend. "You've been so spacey lately."
"Okay, calm down," she sighed and started her story, "Rick let it slip to me the other day that I ain't got the same daddy as Tim and Curly and Ang."
"Wow," Pony whistled, "I wasn't expecting that. I thought you were going to say that you were all wrapped up with that River King."
Paula couldn't help but laugh out loud. Darryl wasn't the perceptive one in the Curtis family.
"Well, Tim saw me driving around with him this morning too," Paula remembered, "He was pissed."
"No doubt, that guy's dangerous," Pony gasped, shaking his head, "you should stay away from him."
"You don't even know him Pony," Paula groaned, this was the lecture she'd been expecting. "He's a good guy."
"I bet. How do you even know him?" Pony rolled his eyes.
"He's been hooking me up with some, you know, herbs," Paula replied quietly.
"Oh yeah he's a great guy Paula, just fantastic," Pony replied sarcastically, shaking his head back and forth.
"Now Tim's all over me," Paula cringed thinking about her brother. He wasn't going to let her off the hook easily.
"I know the feeling," Ponyboy hung his head. "Darry's gone all super dad on me."
Paula draped her arm around Pony's shoulders and gave him a small squeeze.
"He's just trying to look out for you," she reassured him.
"So is your brother," Pony sighed, "Just be careful Paula."
"Don't worry so much Ponyboy, let's go grab something to eat," Paula stood up and pulled Pony to his feet beside her. The two shuffled their way inside, towards the kitchen.
XXX
After the two had raided the fridge , they decided to catch a late movie downtown. They were watching James Dean's newest and Paula couldn't help but get lost into those mysterious eyes of his.
Ponyboy snorted when he saw her face when James just about went off the cliff in the car.
By the time the next movie started she was feeling hungry again. Pony was thoroughly engaged in the film so she took it upon herself to get them snacks.
Paula took her time, strolling to the candy counter.
"Fancy meeting you here," an arm snaked around her shoulders.
"What exactly do you think you doing," she hissed, quietly, but didn't remove his arm.
Sam was looking at her goofily and after taking a big whiff she knew what had him in such a good mood.
"What does it matter now, you're brother seen us and I reckon' I'm in for a beating," he drawled, seemingly not that upset. "Then I'm going to have to explain why exactly I got myself a beating. Cat's out of the bag darling."
Paula finally shrugged his arm away and moved towards the theatre door.
"Aww c'mon Paula, I'm sorry," Sam called after her, grabbing her arm. "Honest, I'm sorry, I just thought that maybe we could be, you know friends now."
He was right; the cat was out of the bag. But Tim would never allow her to be friends with him anyway. She shook her head at the thought. Tim wasn' t her daddy and she meant what she had told him. She could do whatever she wanted. She had enough of his control games. She wasn't a part of his gang.
"I suppose we could," Paula smiled, mostly to herself.
"Good. I got a deal set up, want to come with?" has asked her, and although she knew better to get involved she couldn't turn down the smile he was throwing her way.
"Might as well," Paula rolled her eyes and led the way out of the movie theatre. The fact that she had left her best friend inside had completely escaped her.
I'm aware James Dean's Rebel without a Cause was released in the fifties, just roll with me.
