50+ things Deeks
50-60
This is my writing process: get really depressed because no one likes my stories, get a review, get way too happy and almost piss myself, write another chapter, laugh in tears on the floor like a baby at my own humor, post, refresh my email for the next 12 days straight. Repeat.
51 He is not allowed to yell "FOR NARNIA!" before kicking down a door
52. He may not convince small children that he has "the force" by moving his hands to open an automatic door
53. Deeks should never take Kensi away from the team into a separate room then after a few minutes scream "HARDER FERN, HARDER!" for all to hear
54. Silly bands are "strictly prohibited" from anywhere in the Mission, as stated in The Official Rule Book For NCIS Officers, section 12, Hetty's Amendments
55. He also can't deal Silly bands on the street like drugs
56. Deeks can not set his ringtone to "I've Got Big Balls" by AC/DC, nor can he sing it anywhere in public.
57. Never fake drowning to kiss a lifeguard. I think he learned his lesson though when he received CPR from the big black man instead
58. No, "Now 'n Laters" is not an erectile dysfunction pill, it is a candy. No matter how much it may sound like one.
59. In no way can he use the existence of Nell's online dating profile to his advantage. This includes creating an account to exactly match hers and send his gay friend on the date; emailing the link to the profile to everyone in his contacts, including all of NCIS, LAPD, and about twenty hookers on the west coast; or printing out her picture and telling people that was Sam before his sex-change
60. Deeks should not, ever, under no circumstances, ever walk into OPS with nothing but a Speedo, covered head to toe in rainbow body paint, with rainbow feathers sticking out of him, his excuse being that he just came back from the pride parade. And when Hetty tells him to go clean up, he yells "No H8!" and uses the claim that they're all homophobes so he can stay dressed like that all day.
I had way too much fun with the last two. Creds to my bestie Nemo for #58
