70-80
Thanks so much for the feedback! I'm pretty sure this is going to at least 100! ALSO: I know Eric isn't gay on the show, he's really into Nell (even though in real life they're 10 years apart..) I just love cracking gay jokes and I hope it's not offensive to anyone because I fully support equal rights and I consider it perfectly okay for me to make gay jokes because I myself am bi. If I've offended anyone I'm sorry can you forgive me?
71. He can't call "penalty" on Kensi when she beats him at hand-to-hand combat because "her boobs kept staring at him"
72. Also stated in the Official Rule Book For NCIS Officers, section 12, Henrietta Lange's Amendments, subsection 4, apparel: Prohibited are the following(meaning they have been worn to work before):
72.01 Spacesuit
72.02 Full SCUBA gear
72.03 "that's what she said" shirt
72.04 underwear outside his pants, and a cape
72.05 giant banana costume
72.06 Knight suit
72.07 Kensi's "im not PMS'ing, I'm just always this charming" shirt
72.08 zombie makeup
72.09 dressed as a hobo again
72.10 gorilla costume
72.11 football uniform
72.12 dressed like the Jonas Brothers: skinny jeans, spiked hair, deep v shirts
72.13 dressed like Justin Beiber: purple skinny jeans, purple kicks, and your hair looking like you slept with a bowl on it
72.14 T-Rex costume
72.15 completely shaved head and dressed like Sam
72.16 Dora's backpack, Dora's outfit, and a stuffed monkey wearing boots on his shoulder
72.17 Dressed like Eric. Flip flops and unprofessional attire is only acceptable for Eric.
72.18 Hannah Montana
72.19 Batman with spandex
72.20 Robin with spandex
72.21 Aquaman with spandex
72.22 actually, any superhero costume is unacceptable
72.23 also any costume involving spandex
72.24 Football outfit, with tight pants to show off to Kensi (yes I said football uniform twice, this one is about the butt)
72.25 Full body paint for the Lakers, or actually, any sports team
72.26 when I say FULL body paint, it means he is not allowed to have his shirt off with paint all over his chest
72.27 Michael Jackson costume, and when asked to remove it, throw one of the gloves and say "thank ya, thank ya ver much" and deny it when Kensi tells him Elvis Presley says that, not Michael Jackson
72.28 Come back from a fair with any type of children's face paint, pretending you actually are a tiger or a cat
72.29 any Mortal Kombat characters
72.30 any Mario characters
72.31 wear dark shades and yell "SHARON!"
73. When told he is immature, am appropriate response is not "I know you are but what am I?"
74. No, it is NEVER "bring your iguana to work day"
75. He can't sing "Sneaky Snake" (a song about a snake named "Sneaky Snake" who steals everyone's root beer) while sneaking up on Sam and stealing his beer
he is ever found to be using his computer to play Happy Wheels or Minecraft, he will lose computer privileges and have to write all files by hand. Same goes for Eric and Nell
77. He cannot yell "DAYUM gurl, dat ASS!" when Callen is working out
78. Every time he leaves OPS, he can't turn to Nell and Eric and whisper "you kids have fun, if you know what I mean" and wink at them
79. Friendship bracelets for everyone is also a no-no. Especially ones with tracking devices hidden in them
80. He should never sing "centerfold" replacing "angel" with "Kensi"
"my blood runs cold
My memory has just been sold
My Kensi is a centerfold
Kensi is a centerfold"
