Dib's younger sister gave him a look that could only be described as enraged beyond all reason. He swallowed nervously and took a step back, only to realize that he had just trapped himself in a corner. "Gaz, I –"

"Shut up!" she immediately interrupted. "I've always known that you're annoying, insane, and obsessive about dissecting Zim, which I had hoped that you would maybe outgrow one day, but this…" She threw down a tiny spy camera at Dib's feet. "This is just plain unacceptable! What possessed you to think that you have the right to invade my privacy like this?" He winced as she crushed one of his most beloved tools under her boot. Then she stomped on it several times, partly to make a point and partly to relieve some anger.

"Gaz, I think Zim is up to something! Something bad that involves you! I don't want you to get hurt. You have to believe me," he finished meekly as he shuddered beneath her daunting look.

"So you thought that it would be a good idea to put cameras all over the house? You went in my room, Dib. No one should ever go in my room." She sighed. "I really don't want to have to make you wish I was never born. And to think I was in a somewhat good mood." She cracked her knuckles and grinned wickedly, stepping closer to her brother. "Oh well, I guess you'll have to pay the price."

"Gaz isn't there something I can do to convince you not to kill me?" he pleaded. She hesitated for a second, almost pondering his request seriously.

"Yes. Go to sleep."

"Go to…what?" he asked before he slumped to the ground. Gaz shook her head as she placed the metal candlestick holder back on the end table. He would have a good-sized lump on his head to look forward to when he woke up.

Using a good portion of her strength, the semi-placated girl dragged her brother to his bedroom and tied him to his bed after removing his shirt. She skipped down the hallway with enthusiasm to her own room to retrieve her multi-colored permanent markers.

Gaz whistled quite cheerfully as she drew on her brothers chest and arms. A smile couldn't help but escape as she studied her handiwork ten minutes later. She capped her markers and went around the house, gathering up the rest of the cameras Dib had set up. She placed them in strategic locations about his bedroom, each one focused on the bed. She sat at his computer and programmed his disk drives to record his actions after she left so that she would be able to watch later. Save for one camera. That one was going to be put to very good use indeed.


Zim paced around his living room, scowling in annoyance and frustration. He had been trying to recreate the feeling Gaz had brought on when she had touched his antenna without any luck. He was not liking this emotion thing at all. Not one bit. It was quite unfair that he could not cause his body to feel such a wonderful sensation when a mere Earthanoid dirt-child could.

"How did she do it?" he demanded aloud. Gir looked away from the television and studied its master in a seemingly thoughtful way.

"It's hormones!" it suddenly shouted with joy and pointed to the show playing. Two teenagers looked as though they were trying to swallow the other's head. Zim shuddered in disgust. "The hormones make you do that!"

"That biology-teaching filth at that school never told us that hormones turn the humans into cannibals! Ugh, hideous creatures!" Zim shouted. "First the Halloweenies with their candy-fiending zombie heads and now this! Disgusting!"

"Actually, that's what humans like to call kissing," Gaz informed the alien. He turned around and fell over Gir in his shock at seeing her in his house.

"How did you get in my house?" he demanded as he attempted to regain composure. "The door was locked!"

"Your malfunctioning robot parents let me in. You were too busy screaming at the top of your lungs to hear the doorbell ring," she replied and held up a CD. "Anyway, if you're done making a fool of yourself, I have something that I think will take your mind off of zombies and cannibals." She shook her head.

"What are you doing that for? I'm normal!" Zim announced with a fist raised in the air.

"Whatever. Just take me downstairs to the computer. Trust me, you'll love this," Gaz said. Zim winced.

"I know of this love you speak, and it is painful and filled with meat! I want nothing to do with your painful meat love," he declared.

She rolled her eyes at the alien. "Not that kind of love, stupid. I meant that you'll hopefully find it amusing, if nothing else." He didn't reply. "Oh, come on. I wouldn't purposely hurt you, and you know it. So let's get going all ready. I don't know how long he's going to be unconscious for."

Zim's antennae perked up in curiosity. "Very well, human." He led her down to one of the many large-screen computer rooms and found her a seat. She handed him the CD and he inserted it into the ROM drive. A window popped up and he frowned. "What is this? A remote access link? I don't have the password to get into the system it wants to connect to."

"That's where I come in." She took the keyboard and stared at it. "Um…how do you use this thing? I don't know what any of these symbols mean."

"It's in Irken," Zim explained as he carefully stole the keyboard away from her. "Tell me what the password is and I'll type it in."

"B-I-G-F-O-O-T-R-O-C-K-S," she spelled and bit her lip at the unbelieving look he gave her. "Don't look at me like that. We're going into Dib's computer…not mine."

"Ah. You know, Gaz, it seems that I learn something new about you every day. I did not know that you are technologically compatible."

" 'Technologically compatible?' Do you mean computer savvy?" she questioned. He waved his hand in indifference.

"Yes, whatever. I know what I meant. Now what am I looking for exactly?"

She pointed. "Click on that little camera icon, and then wait. This is going to be great." The cursor counted down in what Gaz assumed was Irken numbers, and then the live feed kicked in. Zim stared at the video before him. He zoomed in using the controls and began to record, laughing hysterically as he did so.

Dib had appeared on the screen with phrases such as 'ghosts are my friends' and 'I Love Bigfoot more than Lisa' scrawled on his skin in a bold red color; handwriting Zim recognized belonging to Gaz. Green alien stick figures and robot ships were drawn between the phrases, as well as pink hearts and stick figure fairies. 'Insane' was printed on his forehead with black. He was awake and attempting to pull himself free of the restraints that kept him strapped to his bed.

Zim looked away from the screen and tried to stop laughing as he looked at Gaz. She beamed at him proudly. "What do ya think?" she asked.

"I think you are quite amazing in your creativity to torment your fellow species," he replied. "What did he do to deserve such a thing? Will that wash off?"

"Not any time soon," she answered, thinking. "If he scrubs hard enough at it there's a chance it'll come off by Monday. Otherwise he might be stuck going to school like that for at least three days. And you don't want to know what he did."

"Yes, I do. He obviously upset you enough to do that and show it off to me. Have you done something that needs to be forgiven by me? Is this some sort of gift?"

"I haven't done anything." She stated sharply. She stood to leave. "I should have known that you would assume I did something wrong." He grabbed her wrist and clamped down tightly.

"You assume wrong. I am merely trying to guess at what has happened. Don't leave." Under his breath he added a disgruntled, "Please."

She growled angrily, but consented and sat down beside him. "Very well," she said and pretended not to notice the fact that he had not let go of her. "Dib put a bunch of spy cameras around the house, and he was so bold as to place one in my room. My room!"

Zim glanced away from the screen to study Gaz for a second. "Why is it so bad that he put one in your room? Aside from the obvious."

"Like I told Dib, no one should ever go in my room."

"Yes, but why?"

"Because…it's not very user friendly, I guess. I'm Gaz Membrane. Creepy and doomy evil girl, remember? It's a scary place to be. Not many are willing to venture in there. Normally dad and Dib just stand in the doorway. But he crossed that line." She paused. "Aside from that, it's my haven. I know it's the one place I can go to get away from it all. I'm safe there. Sounds stupid out loud. Ugh."

Zim turned his attention fully on the girl beside him. "This place can also be used as a haven, if you so desire," he offered, and grew fidgety as she stared at him blankly. "I would like to see your room some day, if I am allowed to." The last sentence was spoken in an attempt to ease the tension that had seemed to envelop them. It worked. Sort of.

"We'll see." It was quiet for almost fourteen seconds until Gaz spoke again. "Do you mean that I can come here whenever I feel like it?"

"Only if I'm here," Zim replied. "The house has a security system that is enabled when I am not on the premises. If someone steps inside without me being here…well, bad things will happen. Unless you're Gir. I set it so that my little slave is safe. I've tested it out."

"Why would you have something like that at all?"

"Dib, mostly. He has given me cause to be paranoid many times in the past. What with his belligerent attitude toward me lately, I felt that it was time I upped the protection around here. Despite getting used to this filthy dirt ball, I still do not wish to be operated upon. My squeedily spooch is very content being inside."

"Makes sense, I guess." She glanced down at their hands. "You can let go of my hand now, you know."

"Oh, that." Zim followed her gaze. "I suppose I could, but I rather enjoy the way it feels." He shrugged.

"I still hate your gloves though. So cut it out," she said harshly. Them holding hands was causing her stomach to feel like she was trying to beat the final boss in one of her video games.

"If I remove the glove, may I still keep possession of your hand?" he questioned in exasperation. She contemplated the request. This was becoming confusing to her. The affirmation was out of her mouth before she could stop herself.

'Damn hormones,' she thought as he quickly rid himself of the garment and held her hand once again. It seemed as though her heart was doing a flip when his skin brushed against hers.

"So hormones don't turn humans into cannibals?" Zim asked and for a second Gaz thought that he had read her mind, but a glance to the right showed that he was studying the video of Dib.

"No. Stupid, yes. All physical touchy-feely, yes, but I haven't heard of a single case of cannibalism occurring because of how humans grow," she said. "I guess I could be wrong though. I've been wrong before."

"Very true," he agreed, and she resisted the urge to retort. "However, if that was not cannibalism, then what was it? You called it kissing. What is its purpose?"

"I thought you said you'd done research on human mating rituals!" Gaz exclaimed.

"Well, yes and no. I did not cover the topics of kissing or…hugging. Gir is rather fond of hugging," Zim mused. "I had actually never heard of this kissing before now. Does a kiss always involve lips?"

"At least one pair, yes. You can kiss a person anywhere, really." The human blushed, trying not to think much of what they were discussing.

"Where does one normally kiss another then?"

She studied the alien and poked his forehead, cheek, and mouth. "There, there, and there." She poked his neck exceptionally hard. "Also there, too. In the olden days men used to kiss ladies' hands, but no one does that much anymore."

"Is it…painful?"

Gaz shrugged. "I have no idea. I've never kissed anyone before. Not that I want to," she added quickly in a mumble.

"Why not?"

"Because I just don't want to." She stood and pulled away from Zim. "I'm glad you like the video, but I guess I should let him loose at some point."

"I think you're lying," Zim said with a smirk. He didn't know why he would accuse her of such a thing, but something in his squeedily spooch made him feel as though she were. Instinct, perhaps. She glared at him.

"Drop it, Zim." He knew from the look he was receiving that he should let well enough alone, but he didn't want to. It was almost a thrill to see her riled up.

"No, I don't believe I will," he replied. "Tell me the real reason."

"Fine." She wasn't sure why she was giving up so easily, but she was getting annoyed and wanted to end it. "I don't know how."

"And that's going to stop you? It wouldn't stop me," he replied and shot forward. He brought his lips to her cheek, surprising both of them. He pulled away and shrugged. "It's not that hard to do." He then kissed her forehead and the side of her neck, the same places she had poked him. They were light and innocent, merely the results of curiosity. "It doesn't hurt, either."

"It feels…odd," Gaz decided after a moment. "Now if you've had your fun…" She was starting to feel weird things in her body, things she didn't think she liked much. Like a burning sensation. Electrocution, maybe.

"I haven't kissed you here yet," he responded, pointing to her mouth. She backed away.

"Maybe you shouldn't. I mean, you're only supposed to do that if you like someone."

"But I like you," he said in confusion.

"I mean, like, attracted to," she said to clear things up. He ran his hand along the sensitive spot behind her ear, and she subconsciously tilted her head to the side.

"What about right there?" he asked. To her disbelief she found herself nodding consent. He leaned in and touched his mouth to that tiny patch of skin a bit more forcefully than he had before. She trembled under his touch, her nerves an endless network of short circuits, humming with sensation. He pulled away and her cheek brushed against his.

"Zim, that –" she began, but stopped when he put his clawed hand against her skin again.

"Yes?" he asked and started to lean forward.

The doorbell rang upstairs and sent a loud, obnoxious signal out in the lower levels. The startled friends jumped away from one another. Gaz opened her mouth to speak when Gir ran into the room.

"The big-headed boy is here!" It shouted. "Why is his head so big? Why is his head sooooooo big!" Gir laughed and wrapped itself around Gaz's waist. "He's banging on the door. He needs a waffle!"

Zim glared in annoyance. "I suppose I should see what he wants before he breaks it down." He headed for the door and glanced back at Gaz. "You coming?"

She nodded; suddenly back in control of her body. "Right behind you…I wonder how he got loose." She cursed Dib from the depths of her mind.