Zim sat beside Dib silently as he focused on beating the pathetic dirt-monkey at a game of Fatal Fantasy. His concentration was shattered when Dib made the mistake of attempting to initiate conversation. "How's the fake dating thing going?"
The words startled Zim for an instant, causing his character to be swallowed by a slime dragon that he felt resembled his biology teacher. "Curse you, Dib! Curse youuuuuu!" The drama-prone alien fell to his knees after sliding off of the couch and beat his fists against the floor. After forty seconds of such ridiculous antics he straightened and tilted his head to look at the boy. "Um, what were you saying?"
Dib rolled his eyes, mashing the buttons of his controller furiously. "I asked how you and Gaz are doing with this fake dating thing."
Zim stiffened slightly and shook his head. He reclaimed his rightful place on the couch and picked up his own controller, waiting to reenter the game. "We are…well. Though I believe she is growing impatient. She keeps asking how this is supposed to end. In truth, I'm not sure how to bring this whole ordeal to closure." In truth, he had almost forgotten that it was all a game of pretend.
"Hm. I don't see why she's so concerned with that. You only act like you're together at skool." Dib glanced at Zim and sighed. "You should try pushing the 'start' button if you want to start playing again."
"I knew that! I was just waiting to see how long it would be before you began to beg for my help!" Zim cackled with a slightly evil undertone. "She's been getting a bit uppity."
"Have you tried not trying to boss her around so much? She isn't your personal slave. I'm surprised she hasn't made any attempts on your life yet," Dib said sarcastically. Perfect timing, really. As he finished the sentence Gaz walked up behind Zim and expertly crushed his head between two cymbals. She had seen this done in a movie and was just itching to try it out on someone, the annoying alien the first to come to mind.
His entire body seemed to vibrate as he let out a startled little-girl shriek. Dib burst out laughing at his sister's actions. "That was sweet, Gaz. Well done," he praised. She raised an eyebrow at him, but smirked in his general direction.
"I'm quite proud of myself," she replied. "Don't even start with me, Zim. You've had it coming."
Zim closed his mouth and struggled to swallow back the retort that danced upon the tip of his segmented tongue. His antennae flattened against his skull in anger, but perked slightly when she trailed her fingers down his neck when Dib wasn't looking. He leaned back slightly, still not used to how her touch affected him so.
Yes, some days it was quite easy to forget that it was just another day in Neverland for her.
"Gaz, I have thought a way to end this charade," Zim announced quite suddenly.
"I'm listening," she said as she took a seat between him and Dib.
"Skool ends in about a month. When it does, your stupid sibling and I will no longer need to attend. We can pretend that I am going off to college or some such thing." He jabbed her with an elbow while helping Dib fight off a blood ghoul. "Admit it, I'm a genius."
"Hey, genius," she purred. Her tone distracted his eyes from the screen. She nipped at his neck. "You can't kill blood ghouls with a plunger." She took her leave as Zim died once again.
"Do you see why this is so confusing?" Zim griped. "One second she's death and destruction with industrial steel nails, and the next thing I know she's all about rainbows, kittens, and pink lemonade."
"I suggest you get used to it, although you and Gir are the only ones she's ever treated to the 'tea party' side of her. I swear, Gaz's mind is probably like some twisted entertainment park." Dib fell silent as he focused on the game. Three minutes later a crow of victory contrasted Zim's glare.
"I do not wish to play this stupid game anymore," Zim announced, struggling against the urge to throw the controller down like he was a newborn smeet. His companion wisely refrained from commenting, but shrugged.
"I have to go see Lisa anyway." He grimaced. "Maybe trying to prove she's an alien isn't the best idea. She's getting to be a real pain in the…what?"
Zim grinned at him wickedly. "So you're finally going to break up with her?"
"I didn't say that!" Dib shouted before slumping forward. "I would, but I don't know how."
"I have just the thing," the alien announced gleefully as he rummaged through his pockets. He produced a sheet of paper and smoothed it out. He opened his mouth to read it, but stopped short. "Gaz should be down here for this, I think."
"Why?"
"At least then I'll know that someone will have appreciated my creative genius." He planted himself at the bottom of the stairs. "GAZ! Your presence is requested immediately! I think you'll like it!"
Gaz trudged down the hallway, thoroughly annoyed. "I swear, Zim, one more outburst like that and I will kill you myself!" she shouted, then sighed as he gave her his version of a puppy-dog look. "What do you want, you miserable cretin?"
"Just listen to the break-up thingy I have for your brother to recite to Lisa?" he requested sweetly. "Pleeeeeaaaaassssssseeeeeee?" He took a deep breath. "I can do that for a very long time, Gaz," he threatened. She glared at him and made her way down the stairs before he could begin a second time.
"Don't think that this means you won't be punished," she informed him as she flopped onto the couch beside her brother. Zim stood before them in all his glory, holding the paper before him as though it were the Irken Rules of Life. He cleared his throat.
"Are you ready for this, the greatest moment in all history?" he asked the siblings. Dib's groan, and in particular, Gaz's glare, assured him that they were, and that he should get to it immediately. He cleared his throat once more before reading:
"I wish I had the words to express
How much I really loathe you
I would offer my soul to the devil himself
In payment to rid myself of you, Lisa Boo-Boo
Your brain is as empty as a deflated balloon
Your hair is blonde, your eyes are green
Why, oh why, didn't I listen to the truth?
Gaz and Zim told me that you are very mean
In conclusion, I hate you and never wish to see you again.
Now go cry like a little girl, you horrible Earth-stink worm baby.
KTHXBYE."
He smiled proudly at his creation as Gaz and Dib merely stared at him in shock. His smile began to fade as he received no feedback. Until Gaz could no longer hold back her mirth, that is. She stood from the couch and slung an arm around his shoulders. "Alien boy, you will never cease to amaze me." They looked to Dib, who seemed unsure of how to react to such a poem. "Oh, c'mon, Dib. You have to admit that it's freaking hilarious! It's the finest piece of poetry I've ever heard! You have to read this to Lisa!"
"Um…I think I need to go somewhere else." Dib almost made it to the door when Zim slipped the paper into his pocket.
"Here ya go…just in case you decide to go through with what may be considered the smartest thing you'll ever do," Zim announced and patted him on the back. "Good luck, Earth-stink!"
The alien took a seat beside Gaz, stretching lazily. "Was it not worth your time?" he inquired.
She glared at him, but sighed as he took her hand and began to play with her fingers, bending and twisting them. "I suppose it was. But I'm still going to doom you."
"What if I make you forget?" He grinned, a predatory gleam in his eyes.
"Then I suggest you make sure you've studied up on your psychology," she advised dryly. "In the meantime, go order me some pizza. I'm hungry."
"But I thought we were…" Zim trailed off, unsure of how to finish his sentence. She raised an eyebrow.
"You thought we were going to sit here while I enjoyed the pizza you're about to order for me? How right you are. Now get stepping." He glared at her as she crossed her arms over her chest, clearly enjoying this battle of dominance.
"Very well, human. But this is not over by far." He nipped at the sensitive flesh behind her ear before taking his leave. It was her turn to glare at his retreating form.
"You are so going to pay," she vowed.
A note: I don't know how long it will take to get the next chapter up and running, but just remember: if you murder me now, there won't be any updates. My goal is to have the next one up in about 3 days. If I don't make it, I give you permission to maim me.
