Torture
A/N: Warning: chapter details the torture of Ginny and Neville in flashback. Very M-rated and not for the weak stomach, so please read carefully.
Ten days can pass in the blink of an eye. And that is just what happened during the ten days following Molly's heartfelt apology to George and Neville.
In that time, there was Christmas, of course. Neville was nervous about Christmas. What type of gift should he get for George? He'd never had a significant other with whom he could share the holiday. Finally, two days before Christmas, he was wandering around Flourish and Blotts, panicked because he hadn't been able to find anything for George when he came across a thin book with a set of cards. Muggle Magic, the book was called. Neville flipped through the book, which was all about how muggles use sleight of hand for these card tricks. It was interesting and it seemed like something George would like. He didn't think it was a perfect gift, but he honestly wasn't sure what the perfect gift would be.
Also in that time, George did come over for dinner with Neville and his Gran. It was an awkward time, though Neville appreciated the effort Gran put into making George feel welcome. It was just that George came from a very different family than Neville's small family of just him and Gran. Neville and Gran were quiet and not always overly affectionate. The Weasleys, of course, were big and loud and crazy in love with each other - and not afraid to open displays of affection. Neville loved being at the Burrow, nearly as much as he loved spending time with George at his flat. He was spending so much time away from his Gran that he was beginning to feel guilty.
And so, he chose to exchange gifts with George on Christmas Eve, so that he could have the entire day of Christmas with just his Gran for their annual trip to see his parents at St. Mungo's.
They arrived at St. Mungo's during a blustery snow storm. The streets were dead, muggles not being as well able to travel during such weather. As always, Neville and Gran headed toward the psych unit to the familiar room where his parents lived.
Neville removed his coat because the ward was always kept overly heated. He leaned over his mother. "Hi mum," he said softly. His mother glanced vaguely his way, but didn't make eye contact. Neville sat on a chair next to her bed while Gran went over to see Frank. Usually Neville had trouble talking to his insane mother. He could never think of anything to say except for what the weather is like or what kinds of grades he got in school. But this year, he grabbed on to his mother's hand and started talking, without even thinking about what he was saying. He knew he was babbling, but he was powerless to stop himself.
"I had a really big year, mum. I think you'd be proud of me. Right after getting back to Hogwarts last January, it was terrible. Horrible things going on. And there were these teachers, the Carrows, who worked for you-know-who, and they hated me. Because they knew whose side I was on. They believed that I knew where Harry Potter was, and so they tortured me, mum. They did and I have the scars to prove it. I didn't know though. I didn't know where he was, but even if I did, I wouldn't have talked. I'd remember what happened to you and dad, and I knew I'd never say anything. But it got so much worse. There was a battle and a lot of people died. People I knew and people I loved." Neville started crying now. This was the first time he'd really spoken openly about how he felt.
"I helped though. I did. Harry gave me instructions and when You-know-who was torturing me, trying to burn me alive, I was braver than I thought I could be. I killed this snake. I didn't even know what I was doing, just that Harry had told me it was important to kill the snake. So I did - and do you know what it was? It was a horcrux, it was part of you-know-who's soul. But I don't even care that I was able to help, because so many people had to die.
"I wish you could have been there for me, afterward. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't close my eyes without seeing dead bodies. I couldn't eat without feeling traitorous to everyone who died and couldn't eat anymore. I laid in bed all day and night. Mum, I couldn't do anything. I didn't want to do anything. All I felt was guilt in the pit of my stomach. I wanted to die a thousand times." Neville stopped and sniffed hard.
"Gran tried to help me. I know she did. She was patient. She never yelled at me. She never thought I needed to get over it. But I didn't open up to her. I never told her what I was thinking. I never told her what really happened when I was at Hogwarts my seventh year. I wish you could look, mum. I wish you could just open your eyes and see the marks on my back. I was whipped. The Carrows, they got me and they got Ron Weasley's little sister and they used to chain us up to the wall and whip us. A whip is a muggle weapon. I can't believe they used a muggle weapon on me. Do you see the irony, those muggle-haters using a muggle weapon?
"Do you know what it feels like to be whipped? God, what am I saying? I hope you don't. I know you know what it feels like to be tortured though. If you could just listen to me, I know you'd understand. I know you could make me feel better about this." Neville stopped to sob more into his hands. He could feel his Gran sitting across the room, next to his dad's bed and listening carefully without interrupting him.
Neville grabbed back on to his mother's hand. "So that's what happened to me, in a nutshell. I could go in to more details, but I just can't. I don't think I'll ever be able to.
"But I don't want you to worry about me, mum. Because there's something else I want to tell you. I know we think you can't understand me, but just in case, I need to tell you these things, just like a real son would tell his mother. It's nothing bad, at least not to me it isn't. I wanted to tell you that I'm gay. And I hope that is something that would be all right with you and dad. I've known that I am since I was about twelve years old. Well, really I think I've always known it, but around twelve is when I realized what it was, what it meant.
"And now I've gone and met someone. I think you'd like him. His name is George. He's funny, a real practical joker. But he lost someone in the war. He lost his twin brother and best friend, so he's been having trouble being funny, trouble making jokes. His brother is one of the people I feel guilty about surviving. You'd have no idea what he'd be capable of if only he'd lived. But he didn't and I found George." Neville paused. "I think I might love him, mum."
Neville was quiet for about half a minute, wiping the last of his tears off his face, before starting again on a different topic. "I got a job. I'm going to be working at Hogwarts with Professor Sprout. I'm going to manage the greenhouses and the care of magical plants. Professor Sprout got permission from Professor McGonagall, who is the headmistress now, to expand Hogwarts' plants and I'm going to be a part of it. The pay isn't very much, but I don't have many expenses."
Neville quieted down again. He couldn't really think of anything else to say, so he sat there, patting his mother's hand and trying to make eye contact with her. It was the lack of eye contact that had always bothered him. Like he wasn't even there.
From the corner of his eye, Neville noticed Gran getting up from her seat and walking over to him carefully. "Up," she commanded.
Like the child his Gran often made him feel like, Neville immediately obeyed and stood up. Gran began fumbling with the hem of Neville's shirt. Neville knew what she was doing, but stood rooted to the spot, not helping her. "Lift your arms," Gran said.
Neville lifted his arms and Gran used her wand and an incantation Neville had never heard to remove his shirt. Gran choked back a small cry when she noticed the mark on Neville's abdomen. "Turn around," her voice was shaking now, and she seemed frightened and not at all demanding the way she had been just seconds earlier.
Neville slowly turned around, his scarred bare back facing his Gran. He was unsurprised by the gasp that escaped her lips. She began to cry. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Neville put his shirt back on and shrugged his shoulders. "It's not important."
"It is." Gran insisted. "I had a plan Neville. I had an escape plan to get you out of Hogwarts and to hide abroad. But I thought you were safer there. I thought you'd let me know if things got out of hand."
"It doesn't matter," Neville insisted.
"It does. Obviously it matters to you or you wouldn't have brought it up to your mum." A high pitched cry escaped and Gran put her hand to her forehead. "I was supposed to protect you. When I took you in as a baby, all I wanted to do was protect you." Now Gran was sobbing for real. "I'm sorry, Neville. I failed. I failed."
"Gran, no!" Neville assured her. "You didn't fail. Even if I had known about your plan to go in to hiding, I never would have gone with you. I felt...responsible for protecting Ginny. You think my scars are bad? She's a Weasley with a history of dating Harry Potter no less, stuck at Hogwarts. The worst place to be a Weasley or to have connections to Harry. I had to be there with her. If I was with her, in the room where they did it, the Carrow brother, Amycus was his name, he wouldn't...try to do things to her." Gran put her hand to her mouth and took a quick breath in.
Neville hoped Gran wouldn't ask for details. He remembered all too well the night that Ginny came in the Gryffindor common room an hour after everyone else had gone to bed, robes torn, hair messy and her face tear-streaked. After a little prompting from Neville, Ginny admitted that Amycus Carrow had followed her out of the library that evening, and forced her into his office and chained her up. Up to this point in the story, Neville was unsurprised. Three weeks earlier, both the Carrows had nabbed him and Ginny for their first torture session. Neville didn't think it'd be the last.
Ginny began hiccuping as she continued her story. Amycus took her wand from her and chained her up. He grabbed his whip and Ginny closed her eyes to prepare herself for the feeling of the whip violating her skin. Instead she felt the movement of her robe and opened her eyes to see Amycus slowly opening her robe in the front. She was wearing a button up shirt underneath and he slowly began unbuttoning the shirt. Please, let it stop there, she thought. Just take them off and whip me, she begged silently. Once both were open, Amycus grabbed his whip and struck her once across the abdomen, saying "You gonna tell me where your boyfriend Harry Potter's at?" She tried to remain silent, but cried out in pain.
Amycus laughed and used his wand to tear the robe and shirt off her body. He reached around and unhooked her bra. When he realized he couldn't take it off with Ginny's hands chained up, he ripped it violently. He whipped her one more time across the abdomen before dropping the whip to the ground and coming toward Ginny. He grabbed her breasts roughly and kissed her hard on the mouth.
Up to that point, Ginny said that she'd been scared. But feeling violated like this turned that fear in to anger. Ginny used all her strength, gripping her hands on to the chains, and raised her knee hard into Amycus' testicles.
Amycus spluttered and fell back. "You little bitch. You've no idea what you've just done." He pointed his wand at her, shouting "sectumsempra." Fortunately in his rage and pain, Amycus was shaking and managed to just skim the side of Ginny's rib cage with the curse.
Here is the thing about the magic that resides in witches and wizards. Everyone thinks it's most powerful with a wand. But extreme circumstances and extreme emotions, such as anger, can cause a surge in magic not unlike a runner's surge in adrenaline. And a truly powerful witch or wizard, when faced in these extreme circumstances can perform magic without a wand. And so, when Amycus came toward Ginny, his wand pointing to the clasp of her skirt, she shouted "Protego," instinctively.
And it worked. An invisible shield popped up in the inches between herself and Carrow. Amycus looked around. "Who did that?" He asked. "I took your wand, little girl."
When Ginny considered the fact that she'd just done a pretty powerful spell without her wand, she got distracted and dropped her defenses enough so that the protego barrier dropped. Amycus took advantage of the moment of weakness and came at her roughly pushing her skirt up around her waist and thrusting his fingers inside her underwear.
A mistake on his part, as Ginny could feel the magic swelling within her. She could feel the power within her from her toes to the very roots of her hair. Her body tingled with magic, she could feel it flying out her pores. She knew she'd be able to perform any spell without her wand. She looked up at her chains, trying to kick Amycus away, and shouted "relashio," and immediately yanked her hands free of the chains. "Accio wand," she held out her hand and her wand came flying into her hands. As soon as her hand made contact with the wand, Ginny was nearly knocked down by a strong jolt of magic. She could barely grip the wand it was vibrating with such strong magical force. She didn't know what to do with this amount of power, but pointed the wand directly at Amycus' body and without uttering an incantation, a strong golden bolt leapt from the end of the wand and struck Amycus in the gut, sending his body flying back and hitting the wall. He slumped to the floor.
Ginny grabbed her clothes, nudged Amycus with her foot - he was still alive- just knocked out, and ran to the nearest bathroom. She was in there for over an hour, crying and shaking and waiting for Amycus to come find her. Finally, she dressed and left, hoping to find the Gryffindor common room empty, but finding Neville there instead.
"I'll kill him," Neville had said roughly when Ginny finished her story. He stood up suddenly and grabbed his wand.
"What good would that do?" Ginny asked bitterly pulling Neville back down on the couch..
Neville paused. She was right. All it would do was land him in Azkaban. And he'd be no good to anyone, especially to Ginny, in Azkaban. Still, Ginny had nearly been raped, and he couldn't let go of the desire to kill Amycus. He took a deep breath attempting to transform his rage, his desire to kill, into something more positive. A way to protect Ginny.
"I'm not leaving your side," Neville said. "Amycus knows what you're capable of now, so I expect you're safe from him. But if they're going to torture us, they're going to torture us together, all right?"
Ginny nodded.
"That means we walk to classes together, we study together in the library, we eat meals together. I wait for you outside the bathroom. Let me in there with you if no one's around. I'll find boys' rooms that are empty and you come in with me, all right? We are going to go through this together. You can even sleep in one of the empty beds in my dorm. It's just me and Seamus up there now, so there're three empty beds."
Ginny thought carefully. "I think you're right. We're stronger together."
Neville shook his head. "Ginny, you are strong alone. You did really powerful magic without a wand. Do you know how rare that is?"
Ginny shrugged. "I couldn't do it again if you asked me to."
"I hope you never have a reason to need to do it again."
Ginny ignored that. "I need to treat my wounds."
Neville raised his wand, "Accio apocatheria," and out of his dorm flew the travel apocathery kit he'd gotten for Christmas. He opened it up, looking at the different herbs and potions. "I can do it."
Ginny hesitated. "I think I should do it myself," she crossed her arms in front of her chest.
It took Neville a minute to realize why Ginny was hesitant. She didn't want to remove her shirt in front of him. Neville took a deep breath. "Ginny," he said gently, "I'll be able to reach the wounds better than you can on yourself."
She didn't look convinced and honestly, Neville couldn't blame her. She'd just been violated and all she'd need is someone else ogling her. "Ginny," he continued softly. "I'm going to tell you something that I've never told anyone. And what I want you to forget as soon as I tell you." She looked up at him, her eyes were wide and starting to fill with tears again. Neville leaned in close and whispered into Ginny's ear, "I'm gay."
Ginny gasped and pulled back. "Neville?" she asked.
"Don't tell anyone. Act surprised if it happens to come up later?"
"All right," Ginny agreed. She eyes seemed to lose focus as she pulled open her robes and unbuttoned her shirt. In her haste to leave Amycus Carrow's office, she'd forgotten her bra.
Neville looked at Ginny's naked torso. "Which is the sectumsempra?" Ginny pointed to the long mark on the side of her rib cage going up her left breast.
Neville knew to start with that wound. As a magical wound, it would heal with the magical potions. The whips were a muggle tool, and as such magical cures were much less effective. All Neville could do for those were cool the wound with essence of magical mint for pain relief and wrap her in bandages.
Ginny was still shaken, but seemed calmer once she had Neville's caring hands cleaning and trying to heal her wounds. And so, it was nearly three in the morning before the two friends headed up to the boys' dormitory to try and get the best night of sleep they could.
True to her word, Ginny never said anything to anyone about Neville. So much to the point, that Neville would occasionally forget he'd ever mentioned it to her. And as Neville looked back on a few nights earlier, when he and George came out to Ginny, Harry, Ron and Hermione, Neville smiled to remember Ginny focusing her attention on learning that George is gay.
Back in the present, Gran asked, "What did they do to Ginny?"
"I can't talk about it Gran. Really. She wouldn't want me to."
"Did you take care of her?"
Neville nodded. "But Gran, she's so strong. Stronger and more magical than I am. She didn't really need it."
"But she needed a friend," Gran said.
Neville nodded.
"I failed because I never told you how proud I am of you." Gran started crying again.
Neville hugged his Grandmother. "It's OK, Gran. I know."
