Disclaimer: This still doesn't belong to me. Oh well.
A/n: Thank you so much to all of you who reviewed! I'm glad you're enjoying this.
As Easy as Pie
A story by Ryeloza
Part One: The Bet
Chapter Four: Day Eight
"So, how's everyone doing?"
Tom's question was met with groans from everyone around the table and unfortunately he could only nod in agreement. It was strange how tortuous this bet had become. He'd certainly gone longer than this without sex in his life before, but somehow knowing that he was denying himself made it so much worse.
"Yeah," he said, voicing his agreement. "I know exactly how you feel."
Carlos gave a huffy snort. "You have it easy. Talk to me when the universe isn't conspiring to let you win. I've been up early and at the office late all week just to avoid seeing Gaby in her underwear. It's always small and lacy and I miss it."
"You could always give in," said Rex slyly. He was shuffling the cards with such a casual ease that it was hard for Tom to believe that any of this was truly affecting him. Unlike Karl, whose leg was bouncing under the table so rapidly that it seemed likely to fly right off at any second.
"Should we even be talking about this now?" asked Paul. His voice dropped. "I mean, Lynette is right upstairs. She seems like she has good ears."
For a fleeting moment, Tom thought about the breathless moan Lynette always made when he sucked her earlobe into his mouth then physically shook his head to block out his imagination. "She's sleeping. This flu really wiped her out."
"Flu. Flu," Carlos muttered like a mad man. "Next thing you know, you'll have it."
"I'm leaving for Tulsa on Tuesday. I better not get anything."
"I should take a business trip. Why don't I take business trips?"
Karl groaned. "Be a man! We're all in the same boat here so why don't you shut the hell up?"
"A man would be having sex with his wife!"
A silence fell over the group as everyone awkwardly looked at Paul. Fortunately, the faux pas finally seemed to snap Carlos from his rage and, rather lamely, he leaned back in his chair trying to look casual. In an attempt to ease the tension, Rex started to deal out the cards and they focused solely on the game. It was a blessed and welcome distraction in more ways than one.
The game didn't go on very long after Carlos put his foot in his mouth. Paul had only lasted two hands before escaping and soon after that Tom's kids had come in whining that they wanted dinner. Apparently that was more than Rex could take because he was out the door with barely a goodbye muttered over his shoulder, leaving Carlos and Karl to wander out of the house together. The company wasn't welcome; Carlos was in a bad mood and no one but Gaby could possibly improve it.
"You're thinking of dropping out," said Karl out of the blue. Carlos' eyes narrowed and he stuffed his hands in his pockets, not wanting to discuss it. Karl ignored this. "You know, the better plan would be to team up with me."
"Team up?"
"We'll take out the competition. Blow them away and then it'll just be down to you and me. A lot easier to take on one guy than four."
"Take down Tom," Carlos muttered. The thought brought a smile to his face. It was one thing to lose to guys like Paul and Rex whose lives seemed generally sexless, but obviously desperate Tom was another story. Especially given the circumstances. Interested in spite of himself, Carlos actually paused and looked at Karl. "We could wash the floor with him."
Karl shook his head. "You're looking at this all wrong," he said conspiratorially. "Tom is gonna shoot himself in the foot, trust me."
"How can you be so sure?"
"I've lived next door to him for years now. He's got a sweet little system set up. Away for days at a time, then he comes home for a few days and she's all over him." Karl's eyes glazed over and he looked wistfully down the street. "It's like a dream life. Can you imagine the kind of crap you could get away with?"
"You mean he's screwing around?"
"Oh no way. The poor bastard is too in love with his wife to bone around on her. But a man with fewer scruples would be in heaven."
Carlos wondered if Karl included himself in that category. It was hard to tell if he was as much of a sleaze as he acted or if it was just a performance, but Carlos didn't particularly want to know the truth. "So what's your plan?" he asked.
"We get rid of the big dogs. Take out Paul and Rex and this thing will be a cake walk."
"Okay," agreed Carlos, not exactly on board, but acknowledging that Karl had a point. "Well how do we do that?"
"I have no idea, man. We're dealing with a woman who hasn't touched her husband in weeks and a professed sex camel. Getting those two laid will be like obtaining the holy grail."
With a renewed surge of annoyance, Carlos rolled his eyes. "This is ridiculous. I should be getting myself laid."
Karl clapped a hand on his shoulder and gave a long-suffering sigh. He looked very much like a man counseling his protégé. "Think of it this way," he said persuasively. "You're paying a hundred bucks to get laid when you should be getting the milk for free. It's unethical for guys like you and me."
"Unethical?"
"Unethical…Unfair…Whatever. Just give me a few days. I'll come up with something."
"Yeah, and how am I supposed to keep Gaby at bay until then?"
"Well, there is something going around the neighborhood," said Karl, grinning ear-to-ear. "Pretend you're sick." There was a pause while Carlos considered how well he could feign an illness and Karl's face fell. "This is the part where you admit that I'm an evil genius," he added sullenly.
"Sure. You're the man, Karl." Carlos slapped his back. "Let me know when you come up with a plan."
