A/n: Not mine.

As Easy as Pie

A story by Ryeloza

Part Two: Revenge

Chapter Three: Morning Plans

Susan woke up to a slap on her ass. Her eyes fluttered open and she groggily lifted her head from her pillow to see Karl standing over her knotting his tie. He grinned infuriatingly and Susan moaned.

"Good morning, sexy." Karl winked. "Looks like you had a big night planned. Sorry I missed it."

Susan peeled a flower petal from her cheek, tossing it to the floor with a disgusted look. After she'd gotten off of the phone last night, she'd blown out all of the candles and eventually fallen asleep with anger still running through her veins. She hadn't bothered to remove the rose petals or change out of her lingerie and as she sat up and glanced down at herself, she realized one of her boobs had popped right out of her bra. Karl followed her gaze and his smile grew.

"Oh, here, Susie, let me get that for you." Karl reached down and grasped her breast, squeezing it a little before tucking it back into her bra. "There you go." He ruffled her hair affectionately.

"What are you doing here?"

"Came home to change. I have to go right back to the office."

"Oh." The possibility for opportunity clicked in Susan's mind and she leaned forward until she was kneeling on the bed in front of Karl. She playfully grasped his tie. "Do you really have to go right back?"

Karl chuckled. "I know where you're going with this and I like it." He settled his hands on her shoulders and kneaded the muscles for a second before bending down to kiss her. "Unfortunately I'm going to have to take a rain check."

"No way," said Susan, trying to stay sexy and not let her temper get the better of her. She wrapped her arms around Karl and rested her hands on his ass. "I don't think it's legal to take a rain check on a rain check."

"Patience is a virtue, Susan." Karl kissed her again and then, to her great disappointment, backed away. "Trust me, I'm learning that the hard way."

Whatever residual anger might have remained from the day before drained from Susan. Mostly she felt discouraged; why was she even doing this anyway? Just to prove something—something she wasn't even sure was worth proving. Even if she got Karl to have sex with her and lose the bet she'd only feel a momentary triumph. After all, she already knew that Karl still wanted to sleep with her. What she was really beginning to wonder was if he still wanted any more than that.


"Carlos," Gaby called from the bedroom. She adjusted the tiny scrap of fabric covering her breasts and shook her hair out. "Can you help me with this?"

Her husband emerged from the closet, shrugging on his suit jacket, and he paused when he saw her. Gaby refrained from grinning. "I need you to tie the back." She turned around.

Slowly, Carlos approached her and she felt his large fingers begin to fiddle with the strings of her bikini, fumbling to tie it. "Why are you wearing a bathing suit?" he asked. There was a strain in his voice that thrilled Gaby.

"I thought I'd go out and get some sun."

"It's January."

"I didn't say it wouldn't be artificial."

Carlos finished and Gaby turned around. "What do you think?" she asked. "It's new."

"It's…nice."

"Not too small?" Gaby traced the outline of the top where it dipped into her breasts.

Unable to say anything, Carlos merely nodded and Gaby smiled. "Good," she said, and she reached up to peck her husband on the cheek.


"Mommy, what are you reading?"

Lynette laid her book against her chest and peered at Parker. A number of answers sprung to mind, from the simplest, inappropriate truth that it was smut, to the half-sarcastic, half-genuine thought that it was inspiration, to an explanation she could actually give her three-year-old. "It's a love story."

"Oh." Parker rested his head against her leg. "Will you read it to me?"

Thinking of the two page description she'd just read of the main character's oral perusal of her lover's body, Lynette just smiled and shook her head. "I'll finish my book tonight with Daddy. Why don't you go get one of your books," she said, "and I'll read it to you."

Parker pulled out a book from behind his back and held it up. "I gots one already."

"Oh do you?" Lynette tossed her book onto the coffee table and picked up Parker, tickling him until he laughed and squirmed. "Okay," she said, settling him on her lap. "Let's read."


Mary Alice sat in Bree's kitchen drinking coffee. They weren't talking. It was so quiet that Mary Alice wished there was a clock ticking—something, anything to show some sign of life. She'd been on edge for what felt like weeks now, but in reality had probably just been the past twenty-four hours.

"I need to talk," she'd said to Bree when she'd knocked on the door ten minutes ago. And here they were, Bree, polite as always, waiting for her to say whatever she needed to say. Forcing the words out was proving harder than Mary Alice thought, though.

"Do you need more coffee?" asked Bree.

Mary Alice took a deep breath and decided that Bree wasn't going to judge her. It was time to rip the Band-aid off. Now. She paused and took another steadying breath. Now. "Paul and I haven't had sex in two months."

"Oh." Bree took a sip of coffee and sat up a little straighter. "Well…That's too bad."

Mary Alice smiled sadly. "I know you probably don't want to talk about this, but I need to ask you…Have you and Rex ever had a dry spell like that?"

"Well, of course." Bree busied her hands, a sure sign that she was uncomfortable, and Mary Alice silently thanked her for not aborting the conversation. "That's what happens when you've been married for as many years as we have."

"Says who?"

"Says…everyone." Bree shrugged. "It's just the way things go."

Mary Alice sighed. "So we just have to accept that? I don't know, Bree. Sometimes I think that I'm the problem. Maybe I should just go up to Paul one night and tell him exactly what I want."

"I suppose some people do that."

"I suppose a lot of people do that." Mary Alice smiled, teasing Bree a little in a loving way. "I'm just afraid that if I put myself out there and Paul still rejects me…"

Bree reached across the table and took her hand, squeezing it companionably. "Oh, sweetie. He's your husband."

"Yeah." She refrained from adding that she wasn't sure that mattered.