I want to apologize profusely for my basically unforgivable lapse in updates. Over a year is quite unacceptable, but let me assure you that now that I have secured a permanent Internet connection and no writer's block this will not happen again. I am so so so so so so sorry, everyone!!!! Please forgive me! Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaassssssseeeeeeee!!!!

Gaz snickered as she hung up the other end of the phone. Zim was an idiot, plain and simple. Only he would come up with the conclusion that Tak had somehow returned to Earth. Oh well. If this was how he wanted to interpret her behavior so be it. Going along with it would prove to be a nice break from the routine, she believed.

Oh, if only Dib knew how close to the truth he was.

She sat on the edge of her bed and strained to devise a plan to keep her brother and that stupidly cute alien occupied without involving her. Surely Dib would find some way to keep tabs on her, making it all the more difficult to come up with a way to keep the charade going.

There was also the problem of what to do about her emotions. Senior graduation was coming up in a few days and she was running out of time. There was no way she could actually tell Zim the truth. She had never felt for anyone like this before and she had enough life experience under her belt to know that most happy endings were only in movies. Yes, sometimes the price of love was a lot of sacrifice, but she was not willing to risk it.

She hated caring.

Perhaps more sleep was necessary before making a decision.

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Zim sat impatiently at the kitchen table as Gir made waffle omelets. "I really don't have time for this, you know," he said to the little robot. "I should be downstairs monitoring the sky. These horrible stink-beasts have no idea how to keep a vigilant surveillance on space. How is it that these disgusting dirt children have managed to stay alive for so long?"

"You're silly, master." Gir hopped down from his stool and pushed it in front of the stove. "The Irken girl isn't here."

Zim narrowed his eyes. "How would you know something like that? It must be the reason Gaz destroyed my house in a fit of rage."

Gir shook his head. "Gaz has hormones! You've got her crazy in love! She'll be a slave for youuuu!" Zim couldn't decide which was worse: the words or the sing-song-y way Gir told him.

"I think you are now banned from ever listening to the radio ever again."

"Oh," Gir whimpered and flipped the omelet. "But master, it's true. She said so!"

"Those exact words?"

"Well…nooooo." Gir began to hum again, apparently content that Zim was still allowing him to talk.

Zim waited for the little robot to say more. After a minute he became annoyed again. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"What did she say Gir? I require details. DETAILS!"

Gir's eyes glowed red briefly and Gaz's voice came from his mouth. "Unrequited love is the worst. I will destroy him! It isn't fair that I'm the only one suffering!"

Zim gasped and jumped from his seat. "Tak must be controlling Gaz! Why did I not see it before? I must tell Dib before Gaz does anything else!"

"Master, what if she isn't being controlled?"

"She must be." Zim looked at his robot and glared. "If she isn't, then that means that Dib was right. That cannot be allowed to happen! I'd never live it down! Watch the base, Gir. I have some errands to run." Gir waddled over to the table, precariously carrying a plate full of waffle omelet.

"You have to eat first."

Zim growled his displeasure, but took his seat once again and ate as fast as possible. He ran to Dib's house, hoping that he was not too late.

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When he arrived on the Membrane property he was forced to dodge what looked like a flying ball of burnt toast. "Stay away from me, Dib!" Gaz shouted as she came out on the front stoop. "I have had it with your stupid attempts to spy on me! It isn't my fault you're crazy!"

"I'm not crazy! There's something going on, and I think I know what it is!" Dib retorted. He appeared behind her and grabbed her shoulder. "You can't leave until you tell me if I'm right or not."

She glared at him and yanked free. "I'm going to be late for skool, you moron. And so are you." She stomped down the steps and began her walk across the yard.

"We don't have skool today! It's Sunday!" he yelled after her, then spotted Zim. "Zim, stop her! We have to get to the bottom of this!"

Gaz paused in mid-step, staring openly at Zim. He was dressed in jeans and a grey hooded sweatshirt. Nothing exceptional, but the sight of him made her heart ache. She bit her lip to keep from smiling, startled that she was no longer annoyed. It would not do to let him see that. "Don't touch me, Zim. I won't hesitate to hurt you."

Zim stepped closer, aware that Dib was watching intently, but that he was also out of earshot. "You've threatened that before. The effects begin to fade after repeated attempts."

She resisted the urge to touch his face. "Perhaps something other than physical pain is necessary then," she replied and he smirked.

"You're going to turn me into a masochist." He laughed as she blushed and pulled her closer. "It isn't unrequited," he whispered in her ear. She stiffened and glared at him.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said before shaking his grip and continuing on her way.

Zim now had his proof that she was being controlled. She didn't remember what she had said to Gir, so she must have been brainwashed. Thank goodness Dib wasn't right. The thought that the big-head cow child could have been made his squeedily spooch feel odd and sick-like. He didn't know what he would do if anyone were to feel that way about him. Never mind the fact that he did care for Gaz a lot, more than he had ever cared for anything or anyone, and if she had not been brainwashed there was a good chance that her feelings would not have been unrequited.

However, as that was the case, his emotions could go on the back burner for the time being while he sorted out this Tak situation with Dib. "She has been brainwashed," he announced loudly once he entered the Membrane house.

"Shut up! My dad is home. We have to talk about this somewhere more private." Dib led the alien to his room and locked the door. "How do you know she's been brainwashed?"

"Yesterday when she destroyed my living room she told Gir that she hated unrequited love and that it wasn't fair that she was the only one suffering. Gir has a recording of her saying it."

"That only proves that my theory was right," Dib pointed out and began to laugh. "Gaz actually loves someone, and it's you! That's hilarious!"

"You are a moron," Zim said. "I told her outside that it isn't unrequited and she told me she has no idea what I'm talking about. Therefore memory loss, therefore control by the enemy."

"Hmm." Dib sat at his computer and tapped his fingers on his desk. "You have a point. And Tak would be crazy enough to send someone to destroy your base, although I would have expected her to make sure Gaz destroyed the important stuff, not just some bookcases." He paused, thinking. "Unless Gaz was lying about not remembering to save face."

Zim let out an exasperated howl. "Don't be ridiculous! Why would she lie? Is it not true that humans are happy to hear that the same is felt by another?"

"Generally speaking." He shrugged. "I don't know either way. I guess if there is even the slightest chance that Tak has returned we should investigate though. For scientific purposes, of course."

"Good! Let us begin to scheme."

Dib rolled his eyes.

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Gir let the human girl in and led her to the kitchen. "I made omelets!"

"Cool, I guess. What did you tell Zim?" Gaz sat as the robot gave her an omelet covered in syrup. Gir replayed the message and she nearly choked on some bacon bits. "Well, that explains it then. Gir, you do know that he isn't supposed to know how I feel, right?"

"Ooooops. My bad! Gazzy, my bad, my bad, I'm sooooory! Don't turn me off!" Gir ran about the room, hitting his arms against his head. "Woohoo!"

"Calm down! You're going to give me a headache." Gaz chewed thoughtfully, and swallowed with care. "I suppose your improvisation worked to my advantage. That will surely convince him I've been brainwashed or something. It'll keep him busy for a while. But my problem still exists."

"No, it doesn't. It's all okay, Gazzy." Gir had decided to hang from the kitchen fan, swinging back and forth. "Master feels the same for you; he just doesn't want Dib to be right."

Gaz frowned. "That can't be right. Zim hasn't learned what love is yet. His emotions haven't evolved that much."

Gir shook his head. "Master sleeps bad lately. He is always pacing and muttering about his squeedily spooch." The little robot hopped down on the table. "I offered him tuna, but he said it wouldn't help." He jumped over to the sink and began to play with the dishwater.

"Hm." The human looked around the room, locking her eyes on the toilet that would lead to the bowels of the Irken lair. "Let's go downstairs, okay? But don't tell Zim. Can you do that?"

"I like biscuits."

Gaz sighed in frustration. How could the robot be so coherent at times, then turn around and become a complete idiot again? Faulty wiring, she supposed. Gir led her down to the control room and she headed over to the large computer. "Gir, do you know if Zim keeps any records of his emotional experiences?"

"No, master says it would not be secure. He is paranoid."

"Understatement." She bit her lip. "Has he ever mentioned anything to you about his feelings?"

"Ummm, yeeeeesss. Yes, he likes you. He says that –" Gir clamped his mouth shut. "I can't tell you, Gazzy."

"Why not?"

"He said I could never say a word." The robot whimpered helplessly.

"Can you write it for me?" she asked, and Gir's eyes glowed brightly. He ran away and returned with a crayon and some construction paper. Gaz tried to be patient as the robot doodled away, seemingly useless symbols. Then she realized he was writing in Irken script. He held up the paper proudly. "Can you read it to me now?"

"Yes! Story time!" Gir pulled out a beanbag chair from a crawlspace and fluffed it up. "Sit with me for stories!" Gaz made herself as comfortable as possible and Gir began to read aloud. "After Gaz locked me in the basement and gave me our first real kiss, I have been feeling very strange physically. They are not bad sensations, yet they are…I hesitate to use the word…alien to me. I have done research into the matter and this is an emotional and physical side effect of attraction that humans suffer through called lust. Lust is associated not only with attraction, but with like and love. I have experienced like, and from my other symptoms…those akin to fear….it seems as though I am, how do they put it, falling in love with this Gaz human.

"I am not sure how to react to such a thing. I could take the route of unrequited love, though that seems to be more common among the female species. It seems that I shall either have to express my feelings directly, or wait for Gaz to make the first move. This may take some time. For now, it seems as though Tak is returned from space, so my emotions must take second place to this new threat. If something were to happen to Gaz because Tak wants revenge I would not be able to forgive myself. Odd, as I was once an Invader and did not care about such things as regret and guilt. This human girl is making me more Defected than I already am, but I do not feel as though I can complain."

Gir stopped reading and smiled up at Gaz. "Oh god," Gaz whispered. "What have I done?"

"What's wrong Gazzy? Why are you leaking?"

"I screwed up, Gir. He told me my feelings were unrequited and I acted like I had no idea what he was talking about. Granted I didn't know exactly what, but I figured it had to do with love. And now he thinks that I've been brainwashed, I'm sure of it. What am I going to do? If I tell him that I know, he'll just think I'm being controlled again. I don't know what to do!" Her chest felt constricted, far from a pleasant sensation.

"I tried to tell him she wasn't here. He didn't believe me." Gir frowned. "Master thinks I'm silly."

"You're fine," Gaz assured absently. There was only one person she could turn to for help. And she really didn't want to.