Regret

Mood Music: Never Think by Robert Pattinson, Goodbye my Lover by James Blunt, Tchaikovsky: Violin Concerto in D.

"I love you too," he moaned as his heart shattered and he released inside of her. He held her to him, his mind playing over what had just happened. He couldn't loathe himself anymore if he tried his body shook with dry sobs and he knew he had to move. Edward wrapped her body around his sitting in the chase, feeling himself go numb words tumbled from his lips.

'Oh god, what have I done.'

"I love you, Bella," Edward whispered "god do I love you. But you are going to hate me."

--

"I love you, Bella," Edward whispered "god do I love you. But you are going to hate me."

Bella felt her heart drop into her stomach as she looked at the man holding her in his arms. He looked like he was in physical pain and she suddenly felt sick.

"What's going on, Edward?" Bella asked softly, tenderly wiping away a few of the tears that were once again escaping his eyes.

"You know I love you," Edward sobbed softly "I love you so much."

"You're scaring me, Edward," Bella replied a frown now etched onto her face "Please; I am here for you tell me what you need."

"I need you." Edward cried burying his face in her neck. "I need you but I can't have you."

"What are you talking about? You're not making any sense."

"I'm so sorry," Edward muttered "I'm such a horrible person, I am such a coward. I wish I had the will."

"Edward."

"Bella, please don't say my name I don't think I can take it."

She pulled away from him then, and stood stock still in front of him staring at him.

"I didn't know, and I'm not sure if I had that it would have changed anything. I love you so much, Bella, that it blinds me sometimes. I don't.. I just…" Sobs escaped his lips again and he began to tug at his hair.

"Have you talked to Tanya?" Bella asked calmly trying to decipher why the man in front of her was falling apart.

"Yes." Edward gulped. "I talked to her the moment I got home."

"And?" Bella questioned clearly confused about what was going on.

"She's pregnant, Bella."

"What?"

"She is pregnant. Apparently she has known for awhile and waited until I told her I was leaving her to tell me."

"Well isn't that just convenient," Bella cried softly plopping down on the couch across from him before realizing she was still unclothed. Reaching down she pulled his t-shirt over her body, her hands shaking through the process.

"I can't divorce her when she is pregnant, Bella. I am not that man. I can't do that to her or to our families."

"You're leaving me." Her sobs began to fill the air as she finally realized what he was trying to tell her.

"I'm sorry."

Bella shook her head for a moment before reaching up and wiping the tears from her face. She felt like she couldn't breathe and suddenly she was dizzy. Bella wondered if she could make it to the bathroom before she threw up.

"Congratulations."

"Don't. Please. I can't take it if you're nice about this. I was a dick to you, Bella. I came here knowing what I had to tell you and I still made love with you. I just needed to have one last moment with you before I had to say goodbye, one last memory. I'm such a horrible person, you should hate me."

Edward's hands tugged on his hair for a moment before he looked up and into her eyes. "I love you, Bella. I love you so much that it hurts when you aren't near me. I don't think I can take it if you're not mad at me. I'll never be able to forgive myself for hurting you, ever."

"I love you too, Edward." Bella cried the tears now streaming down her face. "I wish things were different."

"So do I," Edward whimpered in response. "More than you will ever know."

Edward stood up then, quickly pulling on his boxers and jeans before kneeling in front of her, cradling her in his arms.

"Ask me to stay." Edward whispered his tears running down her neck. "All you have to do is say the word and I will leave everyone behind, my family, my friends. Please, ask me to stay."

"I can't do that." Bella replied her tears hitting his hair, making the bronze color look darker almost distorted. "You have a family to get back to; you're going to have another child to take care of."

Edward moved away from her then, his hands running roughly along his face and through his hair.

"I will always love you, Bella."

He leaned over and placed a soft kiss on her lips and she could taste the salt of his tears.

"Please don't hate me." He whispered.

"Never." Bella replied.

And then he was gone.

Bella sat for a moment on the couch looking around the room. Her heart was throbbing softly in her chest and she wondered if she could die of a broken heart.

She stood and tried to make her way to the bathroom, stopping at a trashcan as she felt the bile rise in her throat.

Bella lay with the can between her arms dry heaving and sobbing into the can.

She could feel her hands shaking as she tried to start the car, her fingers numbly trying to turn the key, to get her away. Her heart was in her throat, what was left of her heart anyway and she heard a sob escape her lips as she smacked the steering wheel.

This wasn't how it was supposed to be, they were supposed to be together.

"Stupid Tanya," Bella muttered under her breath "stupid fucking Edward."

After a few tries she finally got the key turned her grip on the steering tightening. Bella drove through the anger and tears, which she knew wasn't safe. At the moment, she didn't seem to care.

She pulled her car into Angela and Ben's driveway running her hands through her hair and over her face. She knew she looked like shit but there was little she could do about it now. Wiping her face, Bella steeled her nerves and made her way into the house, running into Angela in the foyer.

"Bella?" Angela stated softly "Bella are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Bella replied wiping the tears that were still falling down her face. "I'm going to shower and get ready for the day."

"Alright," Angela replied looking at her hesitantly before pulling her into a hug. "Whatever it is, sweetie, it will be okay."

Bella nodded, making her way down the hall and into the bathroom. She tore her clothing off and threw them in the corner feeling the tears stream down her face. She held the sobs in as turned on the water, climbing in and grabbing the loofa to scrub her skin.

Under the water, she let the tears and sobs out knowing that no one would hear them.

I'm going out of town for the weekend so there probably won't be any updates until Monday or Tuesday (unless I get some free time on my mini-trip). You guys seemed to love/loathe Edward's POV, which I felt was the more emotional of the two anyway!

Thanks to all of you who reviewed, added to your alerts, or made this story a favorite! Ya'll are amazing! I'm planning on sending the sneak peek out Sunday night when I get home (so be looking for that!)