DISCLAIMER: I don't own Inuyasha and unless I magically win the lottery I doubt I'll ever will.

A/N: I probably won't be posting anything new until I finish the whole story, I've been thinking about making 3 to 4 more chapters but I might just cut it to 2. We'll see.

A/N : Beta: Little R

If there is one thing we can be certain of in life, it's that eventually we will die


DEATH

By: Anne 79

Chapter 5

When death comes, like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,

I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering:
What is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?

When it's over, I don't want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.

I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened, or full of argument.

I don't want to end up simply having visited this world

Mary Oliver


He had been avoiding her. He hadn't even tried to deny it when Sango confronted him. She tried explaining him that Kagome was very depressed, that she was scared, and that she had even threatened to leave the hospital if he didn't come. He didn't. He doubled the security and he knew she couldn't leave unless he released her. Miroku had made finally the test she almost missed because their little moment. Inuyasha asked his colleague to inform him about the results.

He also doubled his guards in the pediatric ward. That alone kept him from going near her by accident.

He had been signing a couple of charts the nurses left for him. He saw Sango running, which caught his attention. His heart sank as he heard what she yelled another nurse.

"It's Higurashi! Code blue!"

He felt his blood boil and he could not believe the strength, agility, and grace he used as he moved through the long corridors to get to her side. He opened the door; not bothering to wonder why it was closed if there was a code blue, and why people weren't running in and out of the room. And there she was, calmly reading the newspaper. She looked up at him, blinking a couple of time to make sure he wasn't a vision. A product of her desire to see him.

He stood in silence for half a second.

"Hey there!" She greeted cheerfully, giving him a huge grin that in any other circumstance would have made his heart skip a beat. "It's been a while since I last saw your furry ears!"

"Y- You,"

"I- I," she repeated with the same wide grin. Was she mocking him? "I suppose Sango gave you my message?" That did it.

"You crazy, little wench!"

It all started with a crazy, little wench. He started cursing and she took her time, moving slowly. He didn't even notice; he was too absorbed ranting about how she could manipulate the staff, the laws she had broken… She walked hesitantly with the IV machine following her silently as she pulled it. She touched his arm to calm him down. He stopped to glare at her, knowing she hadn't heard a word he had said.

"Are you done?" She asked, the grin slightly diminished, but the glitter in her eyes still present. He took in her sweet scent, assuring himself she was as healthy as she could be in her position. He nodded slowly. She leaned forward, barely touching his lips with hers. It took him less than a millisecond to react and take her in his arms. Her arms locked his neck.

Minutes later, they stood in the same place, foreheads touching. He leaned to touch her nose with his. She recovered the full grin.

"So, now that you got the milk for free, do you still want the cow?" She asked, her eyes twinkling in joy.

"There are so many things I can get from the cow," he replied as he gave her soft caress-like kisses in her cheeks, around her mouth and finally her nose. She giggled.


Kagome straightened her coat. Finally, after two days of being released, the hospital called back to give her the final results. She had been stable for a week, enough to convince the doctors (Dr. Miroku was now attending her as well) to let her out.

She had stayed at her comfortable loft since Inuyasha had busy rounds those days. It took a couple of hours to drive to her family's shrine. She checked the house to see if it was still standing and no burglars had managed to steal her family's memories. Kagome had gone to the attic to retrieve her mother's old medical files, as she had promised Inuyasha. She also took anything she thought could be useful for him. While in her old pink girlish bedroom she found old photo albums from her first musical, her first concert, her first tour. She smiled fondly as she recognized the places and the people. She took them with her.

Inuyasha was supposed to take her out to grab something to eat after the meeting. Neither of them wanted to call it a date. Kagome was determined to ask him if it was a date depending on the tests' results.

She walked into the now familiar ward. She greeted some of the nurses on call and gave Sango a box of home-made cookies. After an exchange of pleasantries, Kagome knocked on Inuyasha's office.

"Come in!" She heard the hanyou say. She went inside to find a serious atmosphere. She took a deep breath and prepared herself to hear about her imminent doom. Miroku was there already.

"Hi," she muttered and sat across from Inuyasha like she had done almost two weeks ago. He didn't meet her eyes. Things were getting worse as the seconds passed by. "I suppose there is not good news for me today".

"Miss Higurashi," Miroku began. She noticed Inuyasha had yet to meet her eyes or make any other sign to indicate he was present in the room. "We confirmed you have breast cancer," he started. He took a second to study her facial expressions. She didn't do anything but waited for him to tell her that "This is not all, after we noticed all of your other symptoms… we suspected that there might be something else involved and there is".

"I don't mean to be rude but could you tell me what I have without extending?" She asked softly, looking at her hands in her lap.

"You have more than one type of cancer. We have found another in your brain. We didn't notice at first because all of your signs were not those of a person with a brain tumor in that state. Usually it doesn't develop as fast as yours."

Kagome's eyes remained fixed on her hands.

"Since it's rare for a person of your age and habits who has not been exposed to any cancer-inducing substance… and since your mother died of cancer at a young age, we have discussed you might have the Li-Fraumeni syndrome. We have yet to make the DNA confirmation, but it's the best diagnose we have."

"We believe radiotherapy should be applied as soon as possible to try minimizing the tumors. We have determined we could extirpate the cancer on your breast with surgery, yet we can't assure you it can be all taken with one surgery since it's a malignant tumor. If you want you could be admitted today or tomorrow. We have everything ready for you. After we see how radiotherapy is working…"

She stopped listing when she understood what he was trying to tell her. She compared Miroku –who looked so willing to give her courage and being optimistic- and Inuyasha –who shrank in fear in his seat.

"How long do I have if I don't get the surgery?" She heard herself asking.

Miroku stopped obviously not prepared for her to interrupt him so quickly. It usually took more than a few minutes for patients in her state to understand what he was trying to say.

"You have to understand, Miss Higurashi, that you have a very rare type of cancer. Usually, breast cancer patients do not reach the stage you have-"

"Miroku. Please, I'm asking you how much time I have, not about what usually happens". Miroku looked finally out of words. "I think we've already determined the usual isn't happening here".

"A month," Inuyasha answered his voice coming out rough and strange to Kagome's ears. "We could buy a couple of weeks with radiotherapy; there are a couple of experimental trials-".

"Is surgery an option for the brain tumor?" She asked softly.

"Not yet," Miroku replied.

"How long would I have to be under radiotherapy so it would be operable?"

"It depends on how you react to the treatment".

"Worst case scenario?"

"Worst case scenario… it doesn't work," Miroku answered hesitantly. "If it does react to the minimum, then a month would be enough for us to take it out".

"I don't have any other tumors?"

"Not that we know of," Miroku replied honestly. However they all knew this could change any day.

Kagome stood up abruptly, tightening her coat to her small frame. "I'll come back tomorrow to start the radiotherapy". She remembered the papers she had brought with her. "I brought my mother's medical files". She placed them in the desk. Without looking at Inuyasha, she gave a forced smile before she left the room.


She went to the first place she could think of. The place where everybody she had loved now lay. Kagome walked into the cemetery, careful not to trip. It had begun raining and she carried with her different bouquets of flowers. She reached the familiar corner, and placed her handbag on the ground. She took the first bouquet to the oldest grave: a bouquet of orchids for her mother. The second one, a bouquet of lavender for her father, was because he often said the scent of lavender brought back memories of her mother. The last one was a single sunflower adorned with wild herbs, since her grandfather had died before he had accomplished his dream of seeing her perform in an Italian theater; just like her mother.

She didn't shed even one tear. She stood in silence for a couple of minutes, out of respect, as the rain fell lazily over her.

"I guess you must have heard already… I'm dying. I'm not sure I'll make it. The doctors… they are going to try to buy me a couple of months but … I don't know.

I met a wonderful man. One who makes me smile, even when he's not around. His name is Inuyasha and I think you all would have liked him. He's very caring, in his own way, he doesn't like to show weakness around people, but he has the most beautiful heart I'd ever seen. I don't know why God sent him to me now… maybe it's a test. Isn't that what you always said Grandpa?"

She smiled as she imagined her favorite old man repeating himself: Child! Everything is a test!

"I don't know how, I don't know when… but I think I've fallen in love with him. But it's selfish to keep him while my time on Earth is limited, isn't it daddy?

"He should be with someone who can promise him a future".

She remembered the sadness that appeared in her father's eyes whenever someone mentioned her mother. Kagome knew it was only because of her he woke up and went to work everyday. If Inuyasha and she were together, she would leave him alone, broken. What kind of person would she be if she did that, now that she had a choice?

She imagined her mother; her always sweet mother, who took her in her arms so many times, yet Kagome remembered none. And her father, the caring man who had dried every one of her tears in her youth, who had heard every cry, every anecdote, every question. A sob she didn't know she was holding escaped her. And suddenly, the world came crashing on her shoulders.

"Mom, dad... I don't want to die! Not yet! It's too soon!" She sobbed while she crumbled in the wet grass.


Inuyasha read the paper one last time for reassurance. He had been standing in front of her door for ten minutes now and he knew that if he didn't ring the bell, a neighbor would for sure call the police. He knocked on the door quickly. His ears picked up someone moving inside, tiredly reaching the door.

"Who is it?" Kagome's lazy voice called from behind the door.

"It's me". He replied. "Inuyasha".

The door opened quickly to reveal a tired looking Kagome. Her hair was wet, she wore a pair of pants and a sweater, both three sizes bigger than what she was. Her azure eyes looked at him confused.

"How did you get here?"

"I… I hope you're not mad. I asked Sango to get me your address. I shouldn't be taking it if it wasn't hospital business, but I really wanted to come to check on you. Not that you need to be checked on. It's just that I told you I would take you to dinner today and you didn't stay. I tried calling you but you didn't pick up-" Her hand shut his mouth. She gave him a smile and pulled him from his suit inside of her loft.

She took her hand off his mouth and continued to walk inside. They both entered the kitchen before he spoke again.

"How are you?" He asked, concerned. She gave him a look.

"I'm as fine as you can be after you've been told you are going to die". She said with a grin that said otherwise.

"There are still-" She shut him up again, this time with her mouth. He didn't have time to react before she pulled away.

"One day at the time," she said. "Today's biggest problem is that I don't remember the telephone to the Italian take-out around the corner…" She looked inside of a drawer to make her point. He looked at her in awe.

"Kagome?"

"Yes?"

"I think I love you".