Zim searched the crowded skoolyard for the Dib-monster and finally spotted him by the bus circle. The human waved in greeting and walked toward him. "Have you seen the Gaz-human anywhere?"
Dib frowned. "No. She got to leave skool early because she was exempt from her last two finals. Why? Did you talk to her?"
Zim decided lying would be the best protocol at the moment. "No. That's why I was looking for her."
"I saw her getting ready to leave. She looked like she had been crying."
"Maybe she has allergies," the alien suggested, beginning to think that allowing Dib to come over here had been a bad idea.
"True." He shrugged. "She's probably at home playing video games. You want to come over so you can talk to her?"
"Um…" The answer was a definite 'no,' but he couldn't just say that. "I have to tweak the plans a bit more before I present them to her."
"About those plans."
Zim glanced at Dib. "Yes?"
"Maybe you shouldn't end it. I didn't do a very good job of explaining Gaz's 'cranial meltdown' to you. She cares about you a lot. More than she's ever cared about anything. I think you should take that into consideration before you do something stupid. I meant to tell you this earlier, but the bus wasn't a very good place to bring it up."
Zim's glance turned into an Irken death glare. Stupid, moronic human! Why had he not spoken up sooner? "I see. That explains it then," he muttered to himself.
"Explains what?" Dib was beginning to feel suspicious that the alien had done something already.
"Nothing to warrant your concern." Zim walked away, waving his arms in the air. "I will see you at some point in the future, worm baby."
Dib shook his head slightly and headed for the bus that would take him home. He had the misfortune of sitting behind two girls from Gaz's art class. Why had he left his headphones at home? WHY?
"Yeah, like, I saw her in the hallway as lunch was starting."
"So, what happened to her? I heard something, but it sounded made up, you know?"
"Well, like, it looked like Gaz tried to hide from Zim, but they both ended up in the same closet and I don't know what happened in there, 'cause, like, a girl's gotta eat, but my friend said that he saw Zim leave and Gaz was, like, crying. Can you believe it?"
"Oh. My. God. No way! That explains why she looked so upset earlier. This guy I sit next to in English said that he was walking by the closet, heard voices, and stopped to listen. You'll never believe what he told me!"
"What? You, like, have to tell me! I'll totally die if you don't!"
The girls giggled and Dib could not restrain himself from turning around and confronting them. "What the hell did the guy in your English class say? This is important!"
The smarter of the two girls frowned in confusion, while the other killed more brain cells by continuing to giggle and forgetting to breathe. "He said that Gaz asked Zim if he had been telling the truth about something being unrequited, and Zim told her no! He said he had been lying!"
The other girl stopped laughing. "What a jerk! Who does Zim think he is? Like, you never tell a girl that!"
Dib faced front and the girls continued to call the alien horrible names that, like, totally described him as the asshole he was. He could not believe that irritating ex-Invader had screwed up so badly. So much for his plans going as they should. He wished the bus would get to his destination quicker. If Gaz had just had her heart broken there was no telling what evil she would unleash on the world. He had to get home to stop her before she killed someone. Namely Zim.
--
Gaz was neither out and about or holed up in her room planning delicious schemes of revenge. No, Dib walked in to find her curled up on the sofa with a gallon tub of her favorite ice cream watching zombies get torn to pieces on the television. Her mascara had smeared horribly and the rest of her face looked swollen and pink, but it was of no consequence to her. Nothing mattered now that her world had crumbled around her.
She hated herself for being so weak in the face of heartache, but as it was her first time around this particular block, she felt it was acceptable for her to act like the female she was. For the time being.
"Gaz," Dib said as gently as he could to alert her of his presence.
She grunted. At least she wasn't comatose. That was usually a good thing.
"Hey, um, if you want any help dooming Zim you can count me in." At this she raised her head and removed the spoon from her mouth.
"The only help I will require is coming up with the most intricate form of torture the world has ever known. That and drop-kicking his ass back to Foodcourtia where I now believe he belongs and should stay forever." She sat up and scooted over so that her brother could sit down. "I want to keep Gir though."
Dib refrained from laughing; for once knowing that tact was necessary. He remembered all too well what had happened to him when he had laughed at Lisa. Gaz was sure to be twenty times worse. "What did he do?"
"What do you think he did?" Gaz hissed through gritted teeth. It was either this or shouting at the top of her lungs and so far Dib had not done anything to warrant her shouting at him. "He dumped me. I thought we had moved past the land of fantasy and actually decided that we wanted to be together. Yes, I freaked out when I realized how much I cared for him, but apparently he was pretending the entire time. I feel stupid and humiliated and I don't want to see him ever again. If I can help it."
Dib was becoming angry, he realized. In a protective-older-brother type of way. This type of rage could only be destroyed if he sought out justice on behalf of his sister.
He was going to make Zim pay.
--
The Defective alien was pacing once again. He had lied to Gaz, yes, but it was to give her a dose of her own medicine for one thing, and for another he could not bring himself to say the simple three-letter word he knew she had wanted to hear. She had tortured him, humiliated him, deceived him, and made him want her so badly that he had feared he would go mad because of it.
Yet she also loved him. And he, loathe as he was to admit it, felt as though he loved her in return.
And he felt horrible for lying to her.
Although he had expected her to do something about it by now, if she was upset. He had not waited for a reaction from her when he had given her his answer, so it was logical thinking on his part that since she had not made an attempt on his life yet she must have been okay with his answer.
In reality he was sure beyond reasonable doubt that this was not the case, that she was not fine, but it eased his guilt to think otherwise. He hated feeling guilty.
And aside from that, admitting that he was wrong was not an option. He was the mighty Zim!
The doorbell rang and Gir ran to answer it. Zim made no attempt to stop the insane little robot. He was in no mood for social interaction. "Ziiiim, there is a surprise for you on the doorstep!" Gir shouted from the doorway of the lab. "I didn't answer the door."
Zim ceased pacing. "Why not?"
"It's for you."
That made sense.
The alien made his way to the door and opened it, only to duck down to avoid being hit in the face by a fist that belonged to none other than Dib. The human howled in disappointment at missing and spent another twenty seconds trying to land a good blow to the stupid ex-Invader's face. He did get a blow to Zim's shoulder, but it wasn't as satisfactory.
"What the hell do you think you're doing, idiot dirt child?" Zim shouted, rubbing his shoulder. Surprisingly, the human knew how to hit. "Have your brain wires been zapped with a stupidity ray?"
"Shut up with your meaningless insults!" Dib shouted back. "What the hell did you do to my sister?"
Zim stilled quite suddenly and gave Dib an odd look. "What do you mean by that?"
"She has been sitting on the sofa gorging herself with ice cream and dismemberment for the past two hours. She won't speak, won't blink, she looks as though she just cried enough tears to overflow the Nile River, and she says it's your fault!" Dib took a deep breath and glared.
Zim sat on the ground as he absorbed the information. "She is upset with me, I take it?"
"That's the most severe understatement I've ever heard!" Dib sat down beside him. "If you weren't my friend I would have tried to kill you by now. So you better explain yourself clearly."
"I was attempting to get her back for all the evil things she has subjected me to over the past several months. And for allowing me to get all worried that she was in danger from Tak. And I couldn't let you to be right. I am never wrong."
Dib shook his head and refrained from giving into the urge to tackle the alien and choke him to see what color he would turn. Apparently Gaz had begun to rub off on him. "You are wrong a whole lot and you know it. But this is your biggest screw-up yet. I need you to be honest with me. Do you love my sister?"
Zim hesitated. He did not want to admit to such a wonderful weakness. Then again, he didn't want Dib to find some way to strap him down to a lab table. "Yes."
"And how are you going to make this better?"
"I…I don't know." The alien's antennae drooped. "Seeing as this is your sister we are talking about, there is not a chance that I am going to be able to get near her. She will only be in skool tomorrow for two periods and on Thursday I'll only see her at graduation." He glanced over at Dib. "I take it that the entire skool knows what happened during lunch by now?"
"That is probably a safe assumption." They sat in silence for quite a while, each scheming of how to get Gaz to see Zim.
"How much does she hate me?"
"Enough to want to drop-kick you to Foodcourtia. She wants to keep Gir though," Dib added thoughtfully. "I think it's safe to assume that she would quite literally kill you if given the chance. Gaz, as you know, is not one to allow being a girl to get in the way of revenge. I think the fact that she is a girl is going to be a problem because she has girly justice on her side this time."
"I see." They lapsed into silence once again. "Hey, doesn't your dad have a conference tomorrow night? Out of town?"
"Yes. Why/"
"I'm going to need your help getting into her bedroom while she's at skool."
Dib's jaw dropped open. "Are you kidding me? No one is allowed in there! She's got the whole place rigged. You'd never make it. Aside from that you can't just go skipping your Final Exams right before the end of skool."
"I think this love issue is more important than a festering blister on this miserable ball of muck." Zim paused. "Perhaps there is some way we can procure documents detailing her traps."
Gir came up behind his master and wrapped crushing arms around his torso. "I have an outline!" the little robot shouted and pulled a rolled piece of paper from his head. "Look! Gazzy gave it to me so I could visit whenever I wanted. She forgot to tell me not to show you though. She's silly. I love her so much!"
Zim and Dib stared at the metal creature before them. Odd as it seemed, this tiny SIR unit was the answer to their silent prayers. They hoped it wouldn't also prove to be their downfall.
