Blinded By Love
By Serena Kenobi
Author's Note: Wow, thanks so much for all the reviews!! Those of you who have read my other stories must know how much I enjoy reading them... :D
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chappie!
Disclaimer: Me not own Star Wars. You not sue me.
Padme POV
I learned a few long, grueling hours after the news of my condition that I had been kept on Polis Massa. How they managed to fake my burial, I didn't know, but I wouldn't have survived long if I hadn't been put into hibernation. But why encase me in carbonite? And why wake me up now? Determined to find more answers, I asked the young physician there, a human by the name of Corlif Taronel. As kind as he tried to be, it could not replace the dark thoughts that filled my mind with despair and doubt of my future. But Taronel tried to answer as many questions as he could, though he told me he was fairly new to the facility.
"Do you know how old you are?" He asked me gently after telling me the date.
I furrowed my brow and tried to do math mentally. "I think I'm around forty-seven," I said uncertainly. "I'm not completely sure, though." I self-consciously touched my hair and my face. How much had I changed?
"Well, I must say, Miss, you look exceedingly well for a woman your age," Taronel said politely. "I would've thought you were in your early thirties. The freezing process helped to slow down your aging process somewhat."
Despite my darker thoughts, I couldn't help but feel just a little bit better at that news. It was nice to know I hadn't changed too much over the years.
I spent the next few days in bed, but after the first, I grew bored and asked the nurses for something to do. They gave me a holoproj, and although I couldn't see, I could hear the latest from Coruscant. Or rather, Imperial Center.
"We've just had an update from the outer rim," the reporter said, "It appears that Lord Darth Vader has just found the hidden Rebel base and has launched an assault on the remote system of Hoth. Rumored to be on the base are Rebels Princess Leia Organa and Luke Skywalker, the terrorist who ruthlessly destroyed millions of lives on the Death Star. More updates shortly."
I couldn't help it. As I listened, I began to sob. My breath hitched, and soon, I had burst into uncontrollable tears and buried my face in my hands. My babies! My children! They were being attacked by the Sith! Darth… what was his name? I couldn't remember.
The nurses ran into my room as soon as they heard me cry out, and try as they might, they couldn't console me in my grief. I had lost twenty-one years of my life. As I sobbed, I heard Dr. Taronel say, "Miss Padmé! Miss Padmé, are you all right? What's the matter?"
Trying to regain control of my thundering emotions, I asked in between tears, "Do you know of a Jedi named Anakin Skywalker?"
He didn't reply for a long time. "No, Milady, I can't say that I have. The Jedi have been extinct for over two decades. Why should you ask?"
"I need you to look him up for me," I ploughed on, "I need to find out what happened to him."
"Of course, Miss." He was puzzled, I knew that much, but I was determined to find out what had happened to my husband. Had he been destroyed by the Sith also? Had Palpatine, or Sidious, killed him and chosen another in his place?
Hatred bloomed in me like a red, fiery rose, and I clenched my teeth as the tears dripped down my face. My hands balled into fists and clutched the blankets tightly; I despised him. I despised Palpatine for what he had done. I know that anger was of the dark side, but I was no Jedi. I was allowed anger, rage, hate. Bitterness.
Palpatine needed to die. As did Vader. They would pay for murdering thousands of Jedi, hunting down my children as if they were dogs, ruling their precious Empire with an iron fist.
"Miss Padmé?" Taronel's voice caused me to turn towards the left so as to hear him better; and I wiped the teardrops off my face. "Oh, no, Milady, it's all right," he said consolingly, "I understand your pain and confusion. It's not often one is put into carbonite for over twenty years. You probably don't know what is going on, do you?"
I shook my head slowly. "No, I'm afraid I don't. I'd like any information you have. Actually, all of it." Still the Senator gathering as much information as I could on all the past and present events, I thought wryly.
"Of course, Milady. I'll have everything I can put into sound so that you can hear it."
"Thank you, Doctor."
"It's the least I can do. And Miss Padmé, I looked up Anakin Skywalker in the database."
I licked my dry lips in anticipation; he continued on: "And although there is little to say, the records say it is presumed that he was killed over twenty years ago by Darth Vader." My heart nearly stopped, my mouth fell open in horror.
Anakin was dead. My Anakin, dead.
No. No, no, NO!
I needed to get out of bed. I needed to run. I needed to think.
"I have to leave here," I said, raspy, no voice left in me. My thoughts were too jumbled; it was too much information all at once. I couldn't handle this –
"Milady, you need to calm down!" Taronel's frantic voice had little effect on me, and my breathing grew quicker and harsher; my heart began beating rapidly – too rapidly. "Miss, you need to calm down! Your heart rate's rising again! You'll go into shock! Please!"
I couldn't hear him, and my eyelids slid shut, my already dark world growing even dimmer as my thoughts began to drown me, and I fell down further and further…
"Anakin? Anakin, where are you?" I cried out, glancing around in a vain effort to see my beloved. But everything was dark. Why was it so dark?
"Padmé… Padmé, I'm here. Just follow me."
I turned, but I couldn't see anything. "Anakin? Ani, is that you?"
"Padmé… follow me!"
"I can't see you!" I shouted desperately. "Where are you?"
"I'm here." His voice was whispers now…
"ANAKIN!"
"She's awake!"
My eyes flew open, and my breathing came out in long, hoarse gasps. "Anakin! Anakin, come back!"
"She's hallucinating," someone murmured. "She's trying to process all the data, but it's too soon. She might go into shock."
No, wait. I remembered. Polis Massa. Carbonite. Vader. Anakin. Death. I sat up quickly, too quickly.
"Miss, lay back! Please, don't over exhaust yourself!" A hand firmly placed itself on my arm, trying to push me back, but I slapped it away, frustrated.
"Don't touch me!" I snarled. "I have to get out of here – I have to find them!"
"Miss, please, you're still hallucinating – you don't know what you're talking about–"
"Don't you tell me what do to, you kriffing bishwag!" I hissed. "I need to speak with Doctor Taronel!" I knew this was very uncharacteristic and extremely rude, but I was in no diplomatic mood just then.
"But Miss, he's busy–"
"Well then tell him I'm leaving! I need to get off this rock!" I yelled. "I need to… I need to… I… " As if a dam broke, I burst into frustrated tears, sinking to the side of the medical bed. A pair of strong arms gently picked me up and placed me back on the bed, and I buried my head into the pillow, allowing my despair and sorrow to pour over me like a deep river.
Anakin, why? Why?
"ANAKIN!" My mind screamed.
Aww, poor Padme. She needs a little break. I know, I'm cruel. But things may get better. You have to review to find out! Hehe.
MtFbwy,
-Serena Kenobi
