A/N: Okay, so I lied. I couldn't resist one more chapter. I decided that I couldn't leave the story without wrapping up some Stars Hollow goodness. Inspiration strikes when we least expect it I guess.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything I reference in this chapter, just in case you were wondering. (You weren't? Imagine that!)
Ch. 15- Torn
Rory jumped out of the car before Jess could even come to a complete stop. Ignoring the fact that she could be hit by the still moving car, she ran in front of it toward her mother, who was emerging slowly from the house. Jess rolled his eyes at his girlfriend's eagerness and quickly pulled the emergency break to avoid hitting her as she haphazardly made her way to her mother.
"Mom! I missed you so much!" she cried, hugging her mother as best she could, under the circumstances.
"Wow, you've gotten really fat, Lorelai. How many boxes of Twinkies have you eaten since Easter?" Jess remarked in his usual fashion.
"Do not compare your bro-usins to Twinkies. Besides, I prefer Mallomars." Lorelai corrected.
"So how are Leopold and Loeb?" Jess asked with a hint of affection for his unborn "brousins", as Lorelai liked to call them, in his voice.
"Oh, it's Luke and Leia now. Turns out Loeb is really a girl. And this way, Luke can have a namesake just like I have with Rory" Lorelai explained with a grin.
"We are NOT naming our children after Star Wars characters; I don't care how well it fits or how good the movies are!" Luke bellowed from the front door.
"Damn, I forgot how good his hearing is. Ah well, we have three more weeks to figure it out. Lucky for you I didn't pop early. I did consider it, though. Gallivanting off to see your boyfriend before bothering to come see your mother, who could have been having your brother and sister and you would have missed it" she ranted, directing the last part to Rory.
"Mom, stop being overdramatic. Those kids know better than to come before their big sister gets back to town. They already know they would never hear the end of it, and they aren't even born yet. Besides, I'm here now and I'm sure Luke has been taking wonderful care of you while I've been away."
"I do my best" Luke said as he walked past the two and began helping his nephew unload the car and take her luggage inside.
"So you're not allowed to leave me again until after the babies come; you know that, right?" Lorelai half-asked, half-stated to her daughter.
"Yes, I know. But you remember that I'm staying with Jess in the diner apartment when ever he gets to come visit, right? That includes this weekend" Rory said slightly patronizing.
"But you just got here" Lorelai whined.
"Mom, we talked about this, remember?"
"Oh fine. There is something you should know, though. We've kind of already turned your bedroom into a nursery, so you'll have to sleep in the living room" Lorelai mentioned quickly before rushing back inside the house.
Rory rolled her eyes and laughed as she followed everyone else into the living room. To her surprise, Lorelai had actually moved her bed into the living room. The couch was pushed against the wall to make room. When she saw how her old room was decorated, she practically squealed with delight. She had thought she would be upset to see that it had changed, but she actually just felt excited. The fact that she was going to be a big sister was finally setting in. When she inquired about where the rest of her things had gone, Lorelai had just smiled secretively. Her mother had set up the garage to be a sort of study for her with her bookshelf and desk. Luke had made sure the small building was weather-proof. When they showed it to her, she gave them both huge hugs and kisses on the cheek. She knew that she wouldn't be able to stay here forever, because there wouldn't be enough room, but this gesture showed that she would always be part of her mother's home. She had suggested staying in the diner apartment full-time, but her mother had insisted that she still live at home, despite the crowded conditions. Lorelai had missed her daughter terribly and wanted to have her home as much as possible before she moved on and started a life of her own somewhere new.
It was a sobering thought for both mother and daughter alike that Rory would be moving somewhere other than her mother's house permanently. Lorelai had waited for several months to begin setting up the room for the twins. She was sad to think that the room wouldn't be Rory's anymore. Even when she had gone to college and even when the big fight had happened and she lived at Emily and Richard's, Rory's room had stayed the same. It had briefly been turned into a room for Gigi when she had married Christopher, but that hadn't lasted very long and Rory had been in college still. Pretty soon, Rory would have her own home and the Crapshack would be somewhere she was just visiting. The thought was not lost on Rory. She was slightly terrified at the thought that she didn't know what was next. After dinner, while Jess went to take his little sister to get ice cream (just the two of them, Doula had insisted), Rory decided to visit Lane. They took a stroll around town and wound up at the gazebo.
"I don't know what comes next" Rory admitted anxiously.
"What kind of job offers do you have?" Lane began pragmatically.
"None. I haven't sent off any resumes or applications because I don't know where to send them. I want to stay here for awhile and spend time with you and your three little ones, my mom, Luke, and soon my new little brother and sister. But I also want to stay with Jess. He's been great, traveling all across the country randomly to see me, but I can't ask him to keep doing it. I know if I stay here he's going to insist on coming to see me every weekend. I can't let him drive three and a half hours every few days just to see me! And at least until the babies are born, I can't visit him in Philly. I promised my mom I'd be here the whole time" Rory sighed, taking a break from her rant.
"Well, what about after the babies are born? Are you going to move to Philly? It sounds like you and Jess are going pretty strong to me."
"I don't know. I actually like Philly and I love being with Jess and I can't ask him to leave Truncheon, but it's so far away. And it's scary to base a major life decision on a guy. What if I get a job somewhere else? Do I turn it down just to be with him?"
"Well, have you talked to him about any of this?"
"No," Rory replied slowly, "I remember going through this when I was graduating from Yale, when I was still with Logan. His solution was proposing to me. It made me feel trapped, like if I married him I was closing off all these other doors that could, and did, lead to better things. What if we start talking about the future and I start to feel trapped again? I don't want to lose Jess, but I don't want to lose myself either."
"Well, first off, I highly doubt Jess is going to propose. At least not any time soon. And second, what if Jess is THE door? You'll never know unless you talk to him about it. If you start to feel trapped again, let him know. I think that Jess, of all people, knows what it's like to feel trapped. His entire teenage life was one big steel cage. I think he'll understand" Lane said.
"I don't know what I'd do without you, Lane. I swear, being a wife and mother has made you wise beyond your years."
"I know, right? It's pretty intense sometimes."
After talking with Lane, Rory headed back to the diner apartment to discuss her feelings with Jess. He wasn't home yet, so she sat down at the table and began making several pro/con lists to sort out some of her thought processes. When Jess opened the door and saw Rory asleep at the table with her head resting on scattered sheets of paper, he grinned. It was typical Rory to be working at all times. He gently picked her up from her spot and she barely stirred, so he carried her to the bed and tucked the sheets around her. He was gathering up the papers on the table when one of them caught his eye. He began scanning them and had to hold back a laugh. They appeared to be pro/con lists on everything from where she wanted to live, to if they should get married sooner rather than later, and even to how many kids they should have. He could see the progression of the list topics and realized that it started with whether she should move to Philly to be with him. From that list alone he couldn't tell what she had decided, but after seeing what the rest of the lists were about, he was pretty sure he knew. He sighed as he lowered himself onto the couch to think.
Rory woke up around midnight confused. She was fully dressed and curled in a ball on the bed in the diner apartment, but Jess was not in bed with her. Nor did she remember ever going to bed. The last thing she remembered was making lists waiting for Jess to get home. She sat up and looked around the apartment, trying to see in the dark. She stood up quietly and noticed that the table was void of papers. She turned to the couch and saw a figure sleeping at an awkward angle. He had several sheets of paper in his lap. She groaned slightly. She had meant to hide those before he returned. Her cheeks flushed as she remembered what some of those lists contained. She hesitated slightly before deciding that she would be better off waiting until the morning to deal with this. She turned to go back to bed, but something in her head malfunctioned and she found herself sitting on the couch, gently waking Jess out of his sleep.
"Rory?" he questioned groggily.
"Yeah, it's me. You fell asleep on the couch. I didn't want to leave you here all night" she whispered.
"What time is it?" he asked, looking around, still a little confused from just waking up.
"Just after midnight. Apparently I created some good tranquilizers earlier tonight. They got us both" she joked, reminding him that he still held her lists.
"What? Oh, sorry about that. I wasn't trying to be nosy, but these are really interesting" he said, managing to sound both sincere and snide at the same time.
"It's okay. Writers are curious by nature. Umm… so what did you find so interesting about them?" she asked timidly.
"Well, they're very detailed" he stated, turning on the end-table lamp.
"I like to be thorough" she interjected, cheeks turning pink again.
"Rory, what prompted all these lists?"
"Well, I just started thinking about how I don't know what the next step of my life is and I was talking to Lane about it and she suggested that I talk to you, but you weren't here yet so I kind of started without you" she said hurriedly.
"That Lane's a smart woman. Well, I'm glad to hear that you were planning on including me in some of these decisions" he said suggestively, making Rory's cheeks flush a deeper, almost crimson, shade.
"Of course you get a say. I just don't know where to go from here. I haven't even been able to decide where to send resumes, which is not a good thing when jobless."
"That part's easy. You apply everywhere that sounds remotely interesting. Then you wait until you hear back and decide from there. It's just like with college. You didn't decide until you had all the choices in front of you" he explained rationally.
"Don't compare this to college. I thought I knew what I wanted all along then, but when it came down to it, I chose something the complete opposite of what I thought. Right now I know I want you and I don't want to change my mind" she babbled almost hysterically.
"You already have me, Rory. Nothing can change that. If the time comes to make a decision and you want my help, I'll gladly give it; but you can't make any decision at all until you find out what your options are. And for the record, my life story isn't closed yet. I can make changes, too, if I decide something is worth it" he stated simply.
"You make it sound so easy."
"Well, I'm not saying there won't be bumps in the road, but we've overcome worse than this. We'll find a way to make this work. We don't need to force it, all we can do is try. I'm not going to promise to follow you blindly wherever you go or demand that you follow me and give up your dreams either. It's a give and take process and it's not all or nothing. It is what it is; you, me" he ended with a shrug and a smile.
"I love you" she replied, blinking back tears.
"I love you, too. That will never change, no matter what happens" he said seriously before kissing her.
The next morning, Rory awoke with Jess' arm draped around her waist. She smiled and took his hand in hers. She didn't know what the future would hold, but she didn't feel trapped at all this fine morning. In fact, she felt more free than she had ever felt in her life. Her night had been filled with dreams about all of life's possibilities, and in every single one of them, there was a brown haired, brown eyed man smirking by her side.
A/N: I love the thought of Luke and Lorelai having twins, don't you? It fits nicely with her dream on the show way back when. I always wished that scene were real, instead of just a dream, and now it is in my head.
