Blinded By Love

By Serena

A/N: I know it's been a while... again... but I'm trying to finish up my Star Trek story. Also, I just finished my novel, and I have a bit of a break, so I hope to be updating more regularly. But then again, I do have a lot of other stories to update... ARGH! :p


Anakin… oh, Anakin, if you could only see them. If you could only know what your children are like.

You should be alive. You should be able to see them with your own eyes. See them for me when I can't.

Why aren't you here, Anakin? Why did you have to die? I promised myself I'd be strong. Strong for you, but most importantly, strong for your children. Your beautiful, loving, strong, gorgeous children.

I can't see them, but I can imagine them. I already know what Luke looks like. He's got your sandy blonde hair. Your clear blue eyes. Your passionate heart that's so full of life for everything. That heart that only cares about everyone, wants the best for everyone, and will willingly sacrifice his own safety for those he cares about. You did that.

Leia is definitely both of us together. My passion for politics, your passion for everything else. I've only spent several hours with her, but I can already see both of us in her. She's beautiful, I know.

It's been over twenty years and many long months, but Anakin, I've found them. I've finally found them. Both of them. And they're friends! How incredible is that?

I wish you were here, Anakin. I need you. I miss you.

I love you.


For the first time since I had awoken from the carbonite, my dreams were peaceful. My heart, torn though it was from the loss of Anakin, was mending quickly from the reunion with my beloved children. It had taken me so long, but I had finally rediscovered them. I wonder if anyone knows how difficult, how excruciatingly painful it is to be torn away from your own children. Although I'd only known them for several hours altogether now, there is nothing stronger than the bond between mother and child.

Nothing.

I spent the rest of the day talking with my children about their lives. I learned about their part in the Rebellion, their lives, and their relationships, and in return, I told them everything about my life, everything they were missing.

But strangely enough, whenever the subject of Anakin came up, both Leia and Luke were oddly hesitant to speak of him.

"What was he like?" Luke asked quietly as we ate dinner together. I hadn't realized I was so hungry until the droid came in with food.

I smiled wistfully. "He was so much like you, Luke."

Leia made an odd noise in her throat. Luke cleared his throat – almost as a warning.

Strange. Was there something they weren't telling me?

"Keeping going, Mom," Luke urged gently, touching my hand.

"Well," I continued with a small smile, "He was also very much like you, Leia. From what you've told me, you've inherited his… passionate temperament."

"Great," Leia muttered.

I laughed. "It's all right. I'm glad you're like him. You have his stubbornness and his strength. Both of you." I swallowed, my throat thick. "I'm so proud of both of you," I rasped. "And I know he would be, too."

Both were silent.

I frowned. "Is everything all right?" But when I heard Leia choke out a sob, I knew everything wasn't all right. "Leia? What's the matter?" Oh, how I wished I could see! I was so good at reading people's expressions. "Leia, sweetie, what's wrong?" I reached for her, and she grabbed my hand and held it tightly.

"I… I c-can't," she sobbed. "I just… can't do this!"

"Do what? Leia, what is it?" Now I was getting worried. "Luke?" I turned to my son. "What is going on?"

"It's…" Luke trailed off. "I'm not sure how I…" His voice hitched.

"Not sure how you what?" Oh, Force, what was wrong? Why weren't they telling me?

Leia cried quietly and continued to hold onto me for the next minute, while Luke grew quiet. I wasn't sure how to get either of them to open up, but finally, Luke spoke in a grave voice.

"Mom… what happened to… our father?"

I frowned in confusion. "I…" Now I hesitated. I closed my eyes and tried to remember the last few minutes of life before my carbonite imprisonment.

"Come away with me. Leave everything behind while we still can!"

"Don't you see? We don't have to hide anymore."

I saw fire. Darkness. And a cold, unfamiliar tint to his eyes. Something that made me shudder. It wasn't him. This wasn't Anakin.

I didn't want to know this person standing in front of me. He scared me. He was threatening, dangerous, and unmerciful.

"Don't you turn away from me!" he ordered.

"I don't know you anymore!" I sobbed, stepping back. I almost wished to be enveloped in the fiery lava below. At least it would give me warmth to combat the frigid temperament of Anakin. "Anakin, you're breaking my heart! You're going down a path I can't follow!"

"Because of Obi-Wan?" he demanded icily.

"Because of what you've done!" I cried. Hot tears streamed down my cheeks. My throat was so sore. "What you plan to do! Stop! Stop now! Come back – I love you!"

I had thought that my final declaration, that one phrase that always brought Anakin to my arms, would sway him. I had thought that it would be enough.

And for a split second, it was. For a split second, I saw that Anakin that I knew wasn't there anymore – that Anakin who loved me with every fiber of his soul. I saw that Anakin who had recklessly dared to love me. Who had married me against every rule that existed. Who I would give my life for.

But that Anakin… my Anakin… disappeared in a flash of his eyes. Then, his gaze flickered up to the ramp of my ship. That ugly, cold sneer grew even more hideous. His eyes narrowed and grew even more dark.

I let a sob break loose.

Anakin, don't.

"Liar," he snarled at the base of his throat. Every part of my body winced and shuddered at the tone of his voice – that disgusted, hideous, guttural growl. "You're with him!"

What? Who?

I glanced up at the ramp, and my heart sank. Oh, no… no, no, no! Obi-Wan, why? "No," I gasped out. "No!"

Lips parting in a deadly snarl, that person who was not Anakin hissed: "You brought him here to kill me!"

"No!" I cried, shaking my head.

But it was too late. His black, gloved hand came up. Curled around something invisible. It shook as if it wanting to wrap around that invisible thing and strangle the life out of it.

But it wasn't something invisible. It was me.

I couldn't speak. I couldn't breathe. My hands flew to my throat. I choked, gasped: "I- can't…"

That hand of death curled even more, trembling violently. My vision was growing dizzy, my balance shaky. My eyes fluttered shut. In the background, I heard a voice, but I couldn't understand what it was saying.

The last thing before I lost consciousness were that black hand stretching out to end my life… and a pair of fiery yellow eyes.

So warm now… I thought before I drifted away.

I didn't realize that I was crying until Luke called out my name frantically.

"Mom? Mom, it's all right! It's okay!" He squeezed my arm lightly.

I sucked in a breath, blinked, and touched my cheeks. Wet with tears. "Oh, I'm sorry," I gasped out. "I… I didn't realize…" I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand and smiled weakly. "I'm sorry, you two. You don't need to see this."

"What did you remember?" Leia asked me in a small voice. "Was it… him?"

"No," I said quietly. "Not Anakin. It was someone else."

Silence reigned in the room for the following minute. Luke, once again, ended the quiet by saying: "You look tired, Mom. Leia and I will let you rest. We'll see you first thing in the morning, I promise."

I nodded and reached for them once again. Leia hugged me tightly, and I pressed a warm kiss to her forehead. "Love you, sweetie," I told her tenderly.

"Love you, too, Mom," she said with a sniffle. "Goodnight."

Luke hugged me next. "Night, Mom. Have a good sleep."

"Thanks, honey." I held his face in my hands, smiled at him. "You, too."

Once they had left, I closed my eyes and sighed as my head rested back on my pillow. My entire body was still trembling from the vivid memory of my last meeting with Anakin. It was as if I were still there.

I shuddered and pulled the covers tighter to myself. Hopefully, my dreams would be pleasant once again – pleasant enough to block out my memories.

Unfortunately, though, I was wrong.


TBC...


I know, no Vader. But don't worry - he'll be in the next chapter, which will be probably one of the biggest chapters in the whole story. This is actually going to be shorter than I thought... well, actually, I'm not sure yet. We'll see how things go. :)

Take care, luvs!

- Serena