Trust

"Walking like a one man army
Fightin' with the shadows in your head
Livin' up the same old moment
Knowin' you'd be better off instead
If you could only
Say what you need to say."
Say- John Mayer

Mood Music: Say by John Mayer, You Found Me by Kelly Clarkson, and Realize by Colby Caillat.

So it's not supper long (it's been a busy week), but it's up earlier than I thought it would be!

The waves crashed into the sand and she sat and watched the sun slowly rise above the surf. The figure of a man appeared in the distance. He was carrying his shirt and shoes, the waves of water lapping at his feet and coating them in a thick layer of sand.

His eyes glistened in the sun and the day old scruff on his face made his jaw more prominent. He literally took her breath away and she found herself openly staring at him. He walked along the water's edge, slowly moving closer to her.

His eyes began to wander from the water's edge and seeing her he smiled. She smiled back softly, relishing the attention. His eyes gazed downwards and his smile changed into a frown. She felt panic rise up in her chest as he loomed ever closer. She looked down at her prominent belly and noticed his eyes focused on it as well.

"It's yours you know?"

Edward made her way over to her, pulling her to her feet. He pulled her into his embrace and slowly leaned forward, his lips barely brushing hers.

"What's mine?"

"The baby," Bella replied her hands resting gently on her stomach.

He looked down at her belly, his eyes large and scared. "I don't want to have to be tied to you forever."

Bella woke with a start, sweaty and irritated.

"So much for a good night's sleep." She muttered under her breath. Setting up, she ran her hands through her hair before pulling it up into a ponytail. Wiping the sweat from her brow, she hopped out of bed and walked quietly down the hall, checking on Alice.

She found herself setting in the kitchen, listening to the gentle tick of the clock on the wall. Her mind ran rampant with thoughts of her dream. She had told him, had explained the situation, and he had been happy about it. Hadn't he?

Shaking her head of the errant doubt, Bella sighed plopping her forehead onto her arm before groaning. Telling Edward had been the right thing to do and he had been ecstatic over the news. Closing her eyes she could almost hear the way his voice had spoken so tenderly causing another shiver to run up her spine.

"What are you doing?" Rose questioned startling Bella out of her revere.

"Umm," Bella blushed furiously having been caught in her day dream. "Getting some food?"

"Good excuse there mama bear." Rose tapped her on the stomach lovingly as she passed her. "You were thinking about your little rendezvous with Edward in the park earlier."

"Speaking of rendezvous shouldn't you, oh I don't know, be making up for lost time instead of sitting in the kitchen at this ungodly hour while groaning into the granite?"

"It's not that simple, Rose."

"I know, but you can't hide the fact that you are happier. It's written all over your face."

"It's my motherly glow." Bella responded sarcastically, annoyed with Rose's questioning.

"No need to go all bitchy on me." Rose muttered pulling out eggs and looking over her shoulder. "I'm making us omelets and you are going to talk, whether you want to or not."

--

"So you had a nightmare?" Rose asked shoving a fork full of egg into her mouth with her eyebrow raised as if defying Bella to not answer the question.

"Something like that." Bella muttered. "I don't know if I would call it a nightmare per say."

"Well what would you like to call it?" Rose mumbled "You can't be in denial about these things, you need to face them head on or they will come back to hurt you."

"I'm aware, I just think that my brain is overanalyzing things and I am reading too much into things. What is it that they say? I am my own worst enemy?"

"So you had a dream about Edward?"

"Is it that obvious?" Bella mumbled. "It started out so great and then it just got horrible."

"What about it made it horrible?"

"He said he didn't want to be tied to me and the baby forever."

"But you know that isn't true." Rose stated. "Maybe it is your brains way of telling you not to jump right in, to just take things slow and to be careful."

"Maybe, it just freaked me out a little bit."

"I've talked to and seen the man, Bella. No matter what you think he is head over heels in love with you and I think he is probably more excited about the baby than you realize. Don't run from him this time, take things slow but let him be there for you. You both deserve it."

--

Edward sat at a bench in the park, lazily laying back and soaking in the sun. His head was thrown back and he wore a pair of black sunglasses over his eyes.

"There you are." Bella stated smiling softly at him.

"Here I am," Edward smiled softly hopping up and pulling her into a hug before pecking her on the cheek. "I have a surprise for you."

He pulled a small bag out from behind his back and held it in front of her shaking it in her face causing her to laugh. She reached up and snagged the bag out of his grasp, pulling the contents out her jaw open in shock.

"I couldn't sleep very well last night, I just kept thinking about everything we talked about. I wanted to get you something, to show you that no matter what I'm thinking about you and the baby. I know that it's silly but I feel I need to say it; I'm all in Bella."

Bella held the small stuffed turtle in her hands staring at the small baby toy. Wrapped around its neck was a small diamond necklace in the shape of a circle.

"The turtle is obviously for the baby but the necklace," he fingered it gingerly "is a circle of love necklace. It represents everlasting and unbroken love. It's an unbroken circle signifying eternity as there is no end. It represents my love for you."

Bella could feel the tears stinging at her eyes and instead of speaking she pulled him into a gentle hug, kissing his jaw before whispering softly "Thank you, you don't even begin to know what this means to me."

"I'd be honored if you wore it."

She nodded softly, tears falling down her face as he put it around her neck, gently kissing the nape of it as he pulled away. His hands found their way to her belly, gently caressing the small bump that was barely noticeable.

"I can't wait until you really start to show."

"I'm going to look huge." Bella muttered as her nose scrunched. "My ankles are already swelling."

His brow furrowed as he led her to the bench and sat her down, gently lifting her leg and looking at it.

"Bella," Edward questioned "how far along are you?"

"About three to four months." Bella replied rolling her eyes. "You didn't forget about the hotel room did you?" Bella muttered trying to be lighthearted, but she realized he was frowning.

"If you are only four months along your ankles shouldn't be swelling."

"My OBGYN said it was normal for swelling to occur."

"Yes," Edward replied "later in the pregnancy. Your ankles shouldn't be swelling this early." He suddenly went into doctor mode and began to spurt off questions faster than she could answer. "Have you been having any other problems? Have you been peeing a lot? Have you noticed any other changes in your body you couldn't explain? Do you feel yourself drinking more than what is normal for you?"

Bella looked at him in surprise before answering his questions. "Only the panic attacks, no more than usual, not really I get tired easily but that could be due to the pregnancy, maybe a bit but once again I am carrying a baby."

Edward looked at her concern still present on his face, before sighing. "I'm sorry I know I probably seem overbearing I just want to make sure you and the baby are alright, that you are taken care of."

"I'm sure it is nothing, I've been so stressed with everything and I have been moving around a lot more than I was previously. That probably explains the swelling and the rest can be attributed to the pregnancy. I'm sure it is nothing to worry about."

"Your panic attacks still worry me."

"I've been seeing a therapist Edward, I will be fine."

"I don't want you to be fine; I want you to be wonderful, magnificent, happy, perfect." He leaned down and kissed her belly through her shirt. "I want you to be able to live a normal life, I researched panic attacks Bella, and they are usually debilitating and long lasting. I'm not sure this is something that is just going to go away."

"I've been getting better, Edward. They have been happening less and less. Please don't make this out to be a bigger deal than it needs to be. Trust me and trust that I have things under control."

"I do trust you, and I trust your judgment. If you think you are getting better than I won't push the issue."

"Thank you," Bella replied leaning over and placing a gentle peck on his lips. "For loving me and trusting me, I love you."

The concern hadn't left his face but he smiled tightly and nodded kissing her in return. "Thank you for loving me and having my baby. I love you too."

This is working up to something important (*cough cough*)… trust me on that! Like I previously said, I am going out of town for a few days… so there will def. be an update Monday or Tuesday when I get back!

In case you were curious as to why I chose a turtle: The symbolism behind turtles (as taken from Sacred Symbols and Their Meanings, viewed online, 2009): The turtle represents order, creation, patience, strength, stability, longevity, innocence, endurance, and protection. The turtle is a symbol of good fortune, it is a positive omen and some say gifting a turtle will bring 10,000 years of happiness to both the giver and receiver.

They are starting to be more open and honest with each other! That is a good thing right?! For those of you who asked; YES, there are still issues and things that need to be addressed!

Check out the thread for this story on Twilighted! Also check out my ff forum. Both links are located in my profile! Thanks to all of you who reviewed or added this story to your alerts or favorites!

Have a lovely holiday weekend!