Hi readers! Thank you for all ur reviews, private msgs, favoriting and following! I also thank the guests who reviewed for all my chapters. Thay all have really motivated me to keep up the promises I made at the end of last chapter. Hope u enjoy it!

This is Sesshomaru time! Have fun reading…

Review plzzzzzzz….. :- )

Disclaimer: I Do not own Inu Yasha


Every word of Inu Yasha kept echoing in Sesshomaru's ears. He knew too well he loves Rin. But what kind of love is it? Does he love her as a father? …..Or as a brother? Sesshomaru scoffed at the idea; his conscience knew that he made a very bad brother, considering the way he treated Inu Yasha, of course he'd never admit it.

All he knew was that he has always loved Rin as RIN! There is no need to define the relationship. Or…. there was. But now? Is a crystal-clear definition really necessary? His love has always been purely platonic… Then why couldn't he stand Rin with another male? Why does he hate it if she pays attention to other male? Why is he infuriated when he thinks of Rin making love to another? Why does he feel disappointed towards Rin and envious towards Rin's husband-to-be? Is he just too over-protective? Or possessive? Or is there something else?

He remembered the dead wind sorceress Kagura. He had compassion for her secretly, and his actions had occasionally expressed it. That female was in love with him…. Unrequited love….. yes…. Because Sesshomaru never loved her back. But his compassion for her was deep. wait!... Since when did HE become so compassionate?... since the very first day he met Rin. First atomic hint of compassion: he didn't kill Rin for splashing water on his head; second: "your generosity is wasted girl. I don't need human food" Since when did HE care about someone else's generosity getting wasted? Especially a human's? Normally he either kills or scares away adult or children meddling with him. Why was he acting ABNORMAL? Third was small but bigger than an atom: "where did you get all those bruises?"; fourth was not atomic but gigantic: reviving her from the underworld.

Compassion was something which Rin had instilled in his cold heart. Rin was the first one to change him; Sesshomaru felt like a gullible, how…. how did she manage to change me even without my own knowledge? If anyone wants anything from Sesshomaru, he/she has to put up a fight against him to get it, if at all he/she survives. And this girl got everything Sesshomaru offered her without ANY fight; argument; use of force. Why such an irony? I…. do not comprehend….

She was his first true companion (she was never afraid of him, while the loyal servant Jaken was); first….. love. He knew by then, that he cannot love any other female, be it demoness, human or half-breed as much as how he loves her. She is always…. Special to him…. Too special to let go. Too special to part with. Too special to marry her off to another.

It all became very clear to Sesshomaru. If he had taken himself for a father or a brother to her, naturally he would have been celebrating her engagement; her prospective royal life…. But he was only displeased at the news… this displeasure is an evidence by itself that he was never a father or a brother figure to her at all. All these years he has been having platonic love for Rin. But now, he feels it's…. it's too plain…. too inadequate… not intimate enough…. not satiating…..

Sesshomaru is too intelligent, it normally takes him very little time to figure things out. But this time, he's dealing with emotions, something out of his world. He tried to calm down and ponder. He mused deeply of Inu Yasha's words and of his emotions and the only answer he got was… His love for Rin is no longer platonic, as it used to be. He is….. he is in love with her. deeply. utterly. completely. His love has taken such a transition, behind his own back!

"Love is an emotion that can only be felt, Sesshomaru. It can't be easily defined"

"you'll know when you're in love; your feelings and emotions will be the signals"

That half-breed makes sense… Sesshomaru had to admit it, reluctantly though. Now he knew too well he has fallen in love with his ward. Since when?... He knows not…..

He recalled his own declaration he made years ago: "Nothing is worthy at the cost of Rin's life". Sesshomaru's inner voice began, She means so much to me….. she means everything to me….. what meaning will my life have without her?

Sesshomaru's eyes widened "she'll be everything to you…" "There'll be no life without her…"…. Inu Yasha….

He recollected all those moments with Rin; her innocent brown orbs, sincere smile, sweet voice, musical giggles, foolish talk, senseless song; all warmed his icy heart, while her pure love, loyalty, childish faith and blind obedience melted his frozen interior. Now the all grown woman is….. is attractive… (note: attractive in a good way; not in a seductive way) Her alluring features stir unfamiliar emotions in him.

He amber eyes involuntarily sought the Sun that tried to compete with his Rin and failed. He slightly smiled dwelling upon his love for his maiden ward. He didn't care that his beloved is a human. He didn't even care that he is in love. Howsoever he might have felt in the earlier years, now he feels as if, falling in love with Rin is the most natural thing that can happen to him. He is in love with the Sunshine if his life. Of course! She was so understanding even as a child….She is the only woman who appreciates him as how he was…. Even Jaken occasionally complains about his autocracy. But not once did she complain of it! His words were always insensitive; occasionally harsh; he rarely shared few words of care or comfort with her. But she took them all with her sincere smiles and gratitude.

Deep within his heart, he knew no demoness or even human woman will put with up such cold, harsh, unfeeling behavior, although his pride would never let him to admit it. She was the MOST COMPATIBLE female or even living being for his personality. He wished to have her as HIS Lady of Western Lands.

Then came the memory of the human prince's proposal. Sesshomaru jolted out of his dreamworld. He had overlooked the fact that Rin and the Prince are engaged. The only person he had ever cared to love even above his obsession for strength, personal power and his own life is going to be someone else's. His agony knew no bounds. Sesshomaru's heart ached and stomach burnt. Why life has to be so unfair to him? Why? Why? Why? WHY? It was as how the old miko Kaede had told, all along.

Sesshomaru began to feel restless. He held his head which was getting heavy with agony. He was growing desperate for her love….. intimate love…. Rin…. Rin!... RIN!

"LORD SESSHOMARU!"

The green toad interrupted Sesshomaru's thoughts as he always does. Jaken arrived with Ah-Un. Sesshomaru was already feeling miserable, now what does this imp has in store for him?

"Where have you been all these days Mi-Lord? I've been looking all over for you!" screeched the toad.

As usual Sesshomaru chose not to answer. He took few moments before composing himself. Otherwise, he may end up killing Jaken.

"Uh- did you meet Rin Mi-Lord? How is she?" asked Jaken and mumbled "I wish I had accompanied you" to himself within Sesshomaru's earshot.

Sesshomaru ignored Jaken's mumblings and said, "She's fine" Which also answers the first question that he met her. He purposefully chose not to talk of Rin's betrothal. He was feeling miserable himself, he didn't want Jaken to pour out his misery in words and tears on behalf of Sesshomaru considering that the latter's 'disposition' will not permit such actions.

But Jaken was hell-bent on adding to the demon lord's misery, "eh…..Lord Sesshomaru, I do not know whether this is an appropriate time to interrogate you upon the subject I have in mind, but I have been wanting to ask you, uh- not only me Mi-Lord, but Ah-Un as well, we may be wrong in asking you thus, but considering-"

Sesshomaru let out a toxic sigh of impatience and shot a death glare at Jaken.

Understanding the cue, Jaken trembled, "Well-duh-uh-um (clearing throat and taking a deep breath) When will you ask Rin to join us again Mi-lord? I personally feel she's old enough, is she not?" Jaken asked weakly. Ideally he should have asked when his lord would offer the 'choice'. Jaken was simply too confident that Rin will 'join' them eventually, once she's given the choice. Hence, he has phrased the question thus.

Sesshomaru knew the toad is so keen on the 'subject', he wouldn't let the conversation end unanswered even if he is killed as a consequence; "She prefers to live with a human-humans" Sesshomaru was fighting hard to suppress his misery from getting exposed to Jaken. But how would the loyal servant miss it, after centuries of servitude under his Lord?

"Gah!..." Jaken's big eyes bulged out in shock, if that was ever possible and his beak-like mouth opened wide. Even Ah and Un expressed their surprise by growls. "How-Uh-um…Did-Did you ask her then Mi-lord?"

"No"

"Whew! Well that's a relief!" Jaken let out the breathe he was holding, (Ah-Un let out a sigh of relief as well!) and began with a proud face, eyes closed, chest held high, right hand forefinger pointing upwards, left hand holding staff of two heads, "I'm sure Rin would NEVER choose to stay with humans. She has always been attached to US. Even during the last time we visited her she was more than happy to see us. She told us herself that she missed us so much that she couldn't wait to see us. I believe it is only a matter of time before Rin rejoins us. We only need to ask her my lord. The girl has a right to be asked, considering her loyalty and affections". Ah-Un nodded excitedly in agreement.

FOOL! As if it was this Sesshomaru who chose not to want her! Sesshomaru cursed Jaken in mind instead of by actions for the first time. On one hand he noticed in pain, the twist of fate, that the girl who was so attached to him has chosen to be more than just attached to another male. On the other hand he was greatly surprised that Jaken was actually praising Rin. He was not even jealous of Rin's importance over himself to Sesshomaru. He guessed that the toad has gotten used to it and also that his cold heart has also been melted by the girl's love over the years; even he has grown fond of her; why else would he risk his life by inquiring his Lord of the most sensitive topic? Why else would he defend Rin so much? Even he wants her back. Even Ah-Un.

"I also recollect what she told me once, Mi-lord, that she'll follow you and be with you forever" Jaken announced confidently, which only made Sesshomaru's worst state of desolation even worse. To him, Rin's stony resolution of years has been powdered to dust by a human prince in just about three months. He just couldn't take it!

"SILENCE!" Sesshomaru bellowed.

Jaken was taken aback.

"She's engaged to a human"

Jaken and Ah-Un fell on the ground astonished.

Jaken couldn't possibly understand what was going on; but he knew that he couldn't take the conversation further even if he wanted to, having noted his Lord's bad mood. But his big fat beaky mouth betrayed him, "Will… will she not be back with us Mi-Lord?", Jaken asked weakly close to tears. Dumbest question.

Sesshomaru shot him the deadliest glare the history of glares. "Have I not made myself clear, Jaken?" he spat gritting his teeth.

Jaken was alarmed and cringed behind Ah-Un, mumbling to himself, "No fair!". Ah-Un were whining and crying in agony. After all Rin was his first and best friend.

"SILENCE!" that dictator yelled. The servants' noises lessened, although they didn't stop their mourning. Jaken recalled his sweet moments with Rin, how she used to smile, giggle, sing, pick flowers, hunt for food with him, how he used to yell at her for her childish behavior, how unmindful she was to his harshness, how she used to play, how she used to force him to play with her, how he enjoyed it even though he never admitted it, how she had saved him in the past from dangers, how comforting she was every time he got thrashed by his lord, how worried she was when he was so close to death due to the poison inflicted by Naraku's bees, how happy she was when he survived, how she hugged him full of love, "Master Jaken! I'm so glad you're well again! I was so worried about you!", "Stop Rin! Get away! Shoo!" "I WON'T!" Jaken shed tears at her determined love. How I miss her! ..… "sniff…sniff…" I should have been nicer to her in the past. Now I'll never get a chance to be nice with her. The thought made Jaken burst with tears.

Ah and Un who were lost I their own world of past with Rin also followed Jaken in wails. It was obvious, as Rin was the one and only person alive on earth, who loved them so much.

Great! Even my vassals could not do her away! Sesshomaru thought bitterly. Their weeping and wailing were indeed adding fuel to the fire of his burning misery. But he was not THAT merciless to 'SILENCE!' them again.

It took all his demonic strength to brace himself, Rin is happy. Nothing else counts. Sesshomaru steeled his heart and decided to meet Kaede to discuss about the wedding ceremony and gifts for Rin. He chose to avoid meeting Rin face-to-face! He resolved that once she gets married, he'll never visit her anymore! He would only use Jaken to secretly investigate upon her wellness, every now and then. God! How painful it had been for Sesshomaru to make all these bold decisions! He took off to Rin's Village.


The meadow in Village Edo was enchanted by the sweetest voice of a Maiden in love. The voice sounded melancholy though, lost in the distress of unrequited love,

SONG BEGINS-

The very utterance of your name

Sweetens my inner tongue and frame,

My Lord, please don't leave and make me lame

When I follow you, flowers bloom along our pathway

My Lord, would you ever come back today?

My memories of you are not one or two

But are BILLIONS, which eat up my soul! What will I do?

I was knocked down into the Earth shredded

Where have you been? I lay as my life ended

I've forgotten all words; I've turned mute yet again!

Like a child that knowingly touches fire, in vain

I keep thinking about you with pain

I get struck, but with heart of a child, I'm all for more

Is it fate? Is it choice? My Lord, please don't leave

You've caused so much pain. Is it oblivion? Or is it indiscretion?

How will you defend yourself?

Are you a close companion? Or a simple passerby?

How will you define yourself?

What resort do I have for myself?

Oh bright blissful moon!

Why have you made this sun cry?

What would be the impact! Oh my Love!

You've caused a storm in the Cheryl Blossom,

What would be the effect! Oh my Love!

Did you give me life just to take it back?

The very utterance of your name

Sweetens my inner tongue and frame,

My Lord, please don't leave and make me lame

When I follow you, flowers bloom along our pathway

My Lord, would you ever come back today?

SONG ENDS

The flustered singer settled down on the ground, lost in her thoughts.

The demon lord who happened to pass by, scented Rin's despair and heard her downhearted singing. His eyes widened, his heart beat fast and he grew anxious as to why she sounded upset. His subconscious mind conveniently FORGOT the conscious decision he had made earlier of avoiding her, and he headed towards her direction. He heard the whole song but the only thing he could make out is that she probably had a fight with the human prince. Sesshomaru thought that she was addressing her prince as 'my lord'. Perhaps she calls whomsoever she holds dear to her heart, as 'My Lord' Sesshomaru reasoned, still hating to part with or even share the 'special' place he held in his Rin's heart. He was observing her from distance, trying to decipher the reason for her depression.

*SPARK*

Rin's head shot up at the 'SPARK' from within her and turned to her side instantly. She found the silhouette of the most familiar 'thing' which was agonizing her, standing majestically at a distance. She just couldn't believe her eyes. Was it one of her hallucinations of him again?

She could only whisper, "Lord….. Sesshomaru….."

The demon knew that he got caught. But he did not want to retreat, after coming this far…. leaving her in such a broken state. He glided towards her.

Rin stood and called "LORD SESSHOMARU!"

Rin could have controlled her tears throughout the day, but once he himself had appeared in front of her, she could no longer hold them back. The sparkling brown orbs shed many tiny diamonds which shone in the moon's light. Her shiny reddened eyes, pale face and pouted lips clearly displayed distress.

Being depressed himself, Sesshomaru was even more depressed at the sight of his crying ward. Her body emitted the scent of sadness and it was piercing him. His face was as stoic as ever. But his eyes showed his pain and confusion. Rin could identify it, although she couldn't guess why he is in pain as well.

"Rin…." Sesshomaru's tone was softer than usual.

Rin wiped away her tears and forced out a toothy smile.

Sesshomaru knew too well that it was a fake one, he said "What's wrong?"

"I….." Rin dropped her gaze to the ground. "nothing my lord" she lied in her sad tone. How foolish she was!

"you make a bad liar Rin"

"…" Rin flinched. How could she meet his eyes after getting shamefully caught of lying?

"Did….. did that human prince hurt you?"

Rin's head snapped up and swiftly shook her head.

"Has anyone else caused you pain?"

Rin could not say 'yes'. But she couldn't say 'no' either at the moment. She would get caught of lying again.

"Tell me at once. I'll have his head" Sesshomaru hand automatically sought the hilt of bakusaiga.

Rin wondered in agony, how will he 'have' (i.e. killing) his own head? The pain invoked her sense of humor, Don't bother Milord. You already 'have' (i.e. possess) it.

Rin noted the irony of the situation; What would he do once he knows? Pain surged throughout her body as she clasped her face with her hands and began to sob uncontrollably. Her shoulders were shaking violently at her sobbing. Sesshomaru was literally flabbergasted. He was in so much shock and pain, he couldn't even open his mouth.

Suddenly Rin fell on her knees and held out both of her open hands towards him, with pleading eyes.

This time Sesshomaru was more than flabbergasted. His eyes were widened than ever and his mouth fell open. His whole body was shaking almost visibly. There is no word to describe the shock, pain and guilt he had felt at Rin's prostration before him.

"RIN! ….Why!?" Sesshomaru managed to choke out, hurt evident in his tone.


Tadaaaa! CLIFFHANGER again!

Why is Rin kneeling before Sesshomaru with such desperation? What was she thinking? What will Sesshomaru do?

Stay tuned until next chapter ;-

I hope I kept my promises. Plzzzzz review…..