Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to HP or FF. If, for some inane reason you believe I do, I can recommend an excellent psychologist. His name is Severus Snape, Potions Master and former Potions Professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He's guaranteed to find out what your problem is, and is perfectly willing to give you a very healthy dose of sarcasm to boot.
Woot! It's chapter three!
Harry: You're celebrating the fact that you've written three chapters?
Sirius: Well, you know what they say, Harry. Three strikes and -
Finish that thought and you'll be spending some time at obedience school.
Sirius: whimpers I'll be good.
Harry: Wow. I've never seen Sirius subdued like that. What's with obedience school that has him so cowed?
Sirius: muttering Keep them away, keep them away...
Um...you don't want to know.
Sirius: They hurt you, didn't they, precious? Oh yes they did...
Harry: Maybe we should send him to see Dr. Snape.
Sirius: Foul cretin! Have at thee!
Maybe not...
Barret led Harry through a small town, which primarily consisted of ramshackle buildings that reminded Harry of the Shrieking Shack (albeit in much better condition). They stopped outside a bar, whose glowing neon sign read 'Seventh Heaven.'
"Jes a second, kid," Barret commented before ducking inside. Harry heard the sounds of gun shots, then jumped aside as all the patrons inside came running out in a panic. A bar maid (possibly the owner?) stood outside, bowing apologetically. She wore a tight, white tank top that exposed her midriff, a short brown leather miniskirt, comfortable-looking boots, and leather gloves with a metal knuckle stitched over her fingers. Her shoulder-length brown hair was kept secure with a hair tie down near the end of her hair. She ducked back inside once the patrons had all disappeared.
Barret's comrades all entered the bar, having been given the go-ahead by the large man himself. He nodded at Harry. "Ok! Go on ahead!" He then turned and bellowed something at someone; "Yo! Cloud! Get off your slow-movin' ass!"
Chuckling despite himself, Harry hopped over the railing (Barret was blocking the stairs) and pushed through the tavern door. The stares he received from those inside brought back the irksome feelings he used to feel whenever he entered the Great Hall at Hogwarts.
"Who the bloody hell are you?" the thin man with the rifle interrogated him without a moment's hesitation.
"Give me your name, and I'll give you mine," Harry shot back
"You're the kid from the train," the short-haired brunette observed. "The one listening to Cloud and me."
Is everyone so bloody perceptive in this game? Harry thought.
Rifle shot an intense glare at her. "If you knew he was listening, then why were you still speaking?"
"I only noticed it afterwards, Biggs!" she shot back. Must be 'Jesse,' Harry realized.
"As it is," the portly guy cut in, "the damage has been done, and he must have spoken with Barret. Otherwise, he wouldn't be here."
Just then, another guy came into the bar. He didn't see Harry, as the Boy-Who-Lived had taken a seat to the side while 'Jesse' had been telling 'Biggs' off. It was Cloud; the huge sword and his spiky blond hair made him more readily identifiable than Harry's scar did in Diagon Alley.
"Papa!" a little girl's voice cried out from behind the bar. A girl ran out of the bar and had come close to wrapping her arms around Cloud's legs before she realized that Cloud wasn't who she thought he was. She backed up fearfully and shyly, to stand behind the long-haired woman Harry had seen outside a few minutes ago.
"Marlene! Aren't you going to say anything to Cloud?" she chided the child. Turning to the aforementioned person, she smiled. "Welcome home, Cloud. Looks like everything went well."
"It was alright," came the response.
"Did you fight with Barret?" At Cloud's nod, the lady gave an exasperated sigh. "I should have known. He's always pushing people around, and you've always been in fights ever since you were little. I was worried..." Cloud shrugged nonchalantly.
Everyone's attention (excluding the girl called Marlene) then turned back to Harry. "So, what's your story, kid?" Biggs asked. He seemed a bit calmer and more apt to listen, having a drink in the past several minutes.
"..." Harry didn't say anything at first. It was rather an irksome feeling, having a room full of people (almost all of them armed with some kind of weapon) waiting to hear an explanation from you. He certainly couldn't tell the truth, either - too many questions, and that's assuming they believed him in the first place. Before he could decide on what to tell them, Barret burst in through the door.
"Papa! Welcome home!" With her father finally coming in, Marlene ran up and attempted a pathetic (but nonetheless very cute, Harry admitted) attempt at what Harry had taken to calling a 'huggle' - a hug that pretty much involved tackling someone and squeezing them until their ribs started to crack. Chuckling, Barret lifted his daughter (Harry couldn't see any resemblance - perhaps Barret had adopted the little girl?) onto his shoulder.
"You all right, Barret?" The girl in the miniskirt asked.
"Great! Never better!" the leader of AVALANCHE replied, grinning in a feral manner. He then waved his left hand at everyone and motioned them towards the broken down pinball machine in the back. "Get in here, fools! We're startin' the meetin'!" He then presses a button on the machine, and it sprang to life, lowering him and Marlene down into a hidden basement. Biggs, Jesse, and the pudgy bloke all jumped down after him. After they disappeared from view, the machine came back up. Harry silently rode it back down, not wanting to risk breaking a leg and making himself look like an idiot in front of everyone.
Biggs and the pudgy bloke were sitting at a table set in the middle of the small basement. They appeared to be looking over some documents. Jesse was working at a computer terminal set against the wall. In the corner next to the computer, a big-screen TV was displaying the news. Marlene was sitting on a pile of boxes a few feet behind Barret, who was busy punching away at a bag standing in the corner.
"Oops," Harry heard Jesse mutter. He looked over her shoulder at the screen, but the figures displayed on the monitor looked like gibberish to him. Hermione could probably understand it, though, Harry thought with a small grin.
Jesse seemed to sense his presence (though he wouldn't put it past her to have seen his shadow) and looked up at him. "Hey, did you see the news? What a blast," she smiled. "Think that was all because of my bomb?"
"It must have been. That, or the initial explosion caught some explosive materials somewhere, causing them to explode as well," Harry reasoned.
Jesse nodded. "All I really did was just make it like the computer told me."
"Flashy stuff, right?" Harry quipped. Jesse nodded and turned back to her work.
"Oh no! I made a miscalculation somewhere! Gimme a few minutes while I work it out."
Harry heard the pinball elevator come to life again, and when he looked, he found Cloud stepping off. "Yo. Cloud! There's somethin' I wanna ask ya," Barret called, pausing his punching routine. "Was there anyone from SOLDIER fighting us today?"
Cloud crossed his arms and shook his head slowly. "None. I'm positive."
Harry noted his confidence. "You sound pretty sure."
Cloud smirked at him. "If there was anyone from SOLDIER, Barret wouldn't be standing here now."
"Don't go thinkin' you so bad jes' 'cuz you was in SOLDIER!" Barret grumbled. Cloud didn't say anything, but the AVALANCHE leader continued speaking. "Yeah, you're strong. Probably all them guys in SOLDIER are. But don't forget your skinny ass's working for AVALANCHE now! Don't be getting' no ideas 'bout hangin' on to Shinra!"
"Staying with Shinra?" Cloud shouted back. "You asked me a question and I answered it...that's all." Cloud walked up to the large man. Though Barret was a good two heads taller than Cloud (and almost completely composed of muscle, Harry thought) the spiky-haired blonde didn't so much as flinch at the leader's expression. "I'm going upstairs. I want to talk about my money." With that, Cloud turned and started walking toward the elevator. As he passed by Harry, Tifa came down on it.
"Wait, Cloud!" she cried.
"Tifa! Let him go!" Barret rumbled. "Looks like he still misses the Shinra!"
"Shut up!" Cloud bellowed. "I don't care about either Shinra or SOLDIER!" He stood upon the platform of the elevator. "But don't get me wrong," he added, pressing the button. "I don't care about AVALANCHE or the Planet for that matter." A few minutes later, the elevator came back down, empty. Tifa immediately took it up and went after Cloud.
Right, Harry thought. Tifa's so got the hots for him. Harry briefly mused how long it would take Cloud to notice.
"We've got a big day tomorrow," Barret suddenly announced. "So you all better get some rest." He then started to climb, hand-over-hand, up the wires and pipes to the first floor.
There weren't any beds, Harry noticed. He watched as the other three members of AVALANCHE bunkered down into sitting positions against the wall.
"I don't think I ever caught your name, kid," Jesse said when Harry settled back against the wall a few feet from her. "I did think it was funny, though, how you told Biggs off upstairs."
Harry grinned at the memory. "I heard that line somewhere; I can't remember where, but I always wanted to try it at least once." He turned his head toward the brunette. "My name's Harry. Harry Potter."
"You probably know already, but I go by Jesse." Harry nodded. "Biggs is that guy over there," she motioned toward the guy with the rifle, "while Wedge is the chumpy fellow next to him."
"Hey! It's not my fault that Tifa's cooking is so good!" Wedge protested.
"You don't have to take her up on her offer to taste her cooking, though, Wedge. You admitted it yourself; you're roly-poly because of it," Biggs sniggered. Despite the expressions on their faces, Harry could tell they were only joking. Perhaps, when you and a few people have been fighting a desperate fight for long enough, perhaps joking around is the only way to let off the stress...
Harry: You wouldn't really send Sirius to obedience school, would you?
No, but it's fun to threaten him.
Harry: So what's with Sirius and the obedience school, anyway?
You're not going to give up on it until you find out, are you?
Harry: Nope. And Sirius is busy talking to himself in his god-awful Gollum impersonation.
Let's just say that Sirius witnessed something terribly wrong at the obedience school. I don't know how, but he managed to gather evidence of it (mostly pictures) and gave them to me. I've alerted the proper authorities, and that particular school has been shut down and those responsible punished, but Sirius seems to have gotten it into his head that all obedience schools use that...particular activity as punishment for gross disobedience from the dogs closer to graduation. Speaking of Sirius...where is he?
Harry: I dunno. He said something about the old days, and set out to look for Professor Lupin.
I'm sure Remus will get him to see reason again.
Meanwhile
Sirius: It was terrible Remus! We have to avenge those poor dogs for being victimized!
Remus: Sirius, that school is shut down for good and the criminals have been arrested. What more do you want?
Sirius: I want them castrated! That's what I want!
Remus: Now that's cruel and unusual punishment.
