Disclaimer: Jag äger inte den Harry keramikern eller finalfantasi.
Harry: tilts head What's that?
It's Swedish.
Sirius: So, what happens in this chapter?
Unholy grin
Harry: gulps I'm not going to like this, am I?
No, probably not. Just remember, it's all for a good cause.
Sirius: What? What?
Whispers in Sirius' ear
Sirius: howls in laughter I love it!
Harry: pales This is bad. Very, very bad.
For us, no, it's not. But for you...yeah, it probably is.
Wall Market. That's what the sign hanging on the archway in front of Harry said. For being a slum, Harry noted, there sure were a lot of people bustling around.
Aeris turned around and stepped up to them. "This place is scary in a lot ways. Especially for a girl. So we've got to find Tifa fast."
"Frankly, I'd be more worried about ourselves," Harry muttered.
"Let's look around," Cloud suggested. "Ask a few key questions."
The three of them started walking around, asking about...well...girls (Aeris received some strange looks, outside the leers she was already receiving). They were told to check the Honey Bee Inn, which was just off the entrance to Wall Market. They made their way there, and found the so-called 'Honey Bee Inn.'
"It's kinda hard to miss with that glowing neon sign," Harry remarked, not quite under his breath. Aeris giggled and nodded.
"Welcome!" a hotel clerk-person greeted them in a loud, booming voice. "Even unpopular dweebs, like you may meet your destiny here!! You looking for a girlfriend, too?"
"You know a girl named Tifa?" Cloud asked.
"Hey, you're pretty fast. Tifa's our newest girl," the man nodded. "But, she's having an interview right now. Here at the Honey Bee Inn, it's customary for all the new girls to be taken to Don Corneo's mansion. Don Corneo's a famous dilettante. Now he wants to settle down and is in the market for a bride."
Harry's expression turned sour. "Listen, kid, the Honey Bee Inn is a private club. Only members can go in. Shoo, shoo," the manager waved them off.
They began to leave. "Okay, so Tifa's at Don Corneo's place right now?" Aeris confirmed.
"Looks that way," Harry nodded. "I think I heard someone mention that Don Corneo resided at the end of Wall Market."
"Alright, then that's where we're going."
Once they arrived at the manor of Don Corneo, it was easy to see who obviously lived there. The name 'Don Corneo' was all over the place. They were about to step through the front doors, but a door man halted them. "This is the mansion of Don Corneo," he stated.
"Really?" Harry asked, sarcasm influencing his tone. "I thought it the hovel of a bloke named 'Tom Riddle.'"
"Look, kid, I'm required to say this, so don't interrupt me!" the doorman snapped. He took a breath and tried again. "This is the mansion of Don Corneo, the most powerful man in Wall Market." He then realized he was talking to a pair of guys. "Look, the Don's not into men. So don't let me catch you around here again..." He trailed off as he saw Aeris. "Hey! You've gotten another cute one with you!"
The flower girl pulled them back. "Hey, this looks like the Don's mansion. I'll go take a look. I'll tell Tifa about you," she whispered.
"No! You can't!" Cloud protested.
"Why not?"
"You DO know what kind of...place...this is, don't you?" the spiky blonde asked.
"Then what do you want me to do? You want to go in with me?"
Cloud crossed his arms. "Well, being a man, that'll be pretty hard."
"And if we bust in there, it'll cause too much commotion," Harry remarked.
Harry could barely hear Aeris giggling over Cloud's hushed speech. "But, we can't let Aeris go in there alone. Oh man...First, we need to find out if Tifa's alright..." He finally noticed the flower girl's hysterical giggling. "What's so funny, Aeris!?"
"Cloud, why don't you two dress up like girls? It's the only way."
"WHAT!?" Cloud and Harry both shrieked in protest, their voices going unnaturally high.
Aeris ignored them and turned to the doorman. "Just wait, I have a couple of friends I want to bring."
"Aeris!" Harry hissed.
"I can't..." Cloud protested, but Aeris cut him off.
"You ARE worried about Tifa, aren't you? Then come on, hurry!"
"Aeris, you are completely off your rocker," Harry grumbled as she pulled them (rather forcefully) toward a clothes shop they had seen on their way to the mansion.
Cloud was in agreement. "This is either brilliance...or madness!"
"You'd be surprised how often those two traits coincide," Aeris quipped as they stepped inside. She turned to the clerk behind the counter. "Excuse me! I'd like to get a couple of dresses!"
"Umm..." the clerk replied hesitantly, clearly uncomfortable. "It might take a little time. Will that be alright?"
"What's the problem?" Aeris asked.
"Well, my father, the owner, has been in a slump lately. You see, he makes all the dresses," the boy answered.
"And, where is your father?" the flower girl questioned.
The lad shook his head sadly. "He's probably plastered at the bar."
"So...you're saying we can't get a dress unless we do something about your father?" Aeris asked.
"Tough luck, that," Harry muttered. The flower girl elbowed him to be quiet.
"Yes, I'm sorry. He's caused so much trouble..." the clerk gasped as realization hit him. "You'd help me bring him back?"
"Well, if we don't do something, we don't get dresses, right?"
"Really? Please help my crazy old dad. I just don't know what to do anymore," the clerk pleaded, looking defeated.
"Alright, we'll do something. Let's go, you two..." Aeris led them away from the shop and to the pub next door. Sitting there at the bar was an older man that bore significant resemblance to the clerk at the clothes shop.
Aeris walked right up to him. "Excuse us, but are you the father of the boy at the clothes shop?"
"I own the clothes shop," he replied, "but I ain't your father."
"I didn't say that," the flower girl protested.
"Make us some clothes," Cloud cut in, gesturing toward Harry and himself.
"Cloud!" Harry hissed, alarmed.
"Relax, kid. It's only a disguise."
"I don't make men's clothes. And I don't feel like makin' anything right now," the clothes shop owner replied haughtily.
"Cloud, Harry, you two wait over there for a second. I'll try to talk to him. Why don't you have a drink or something?" Aeris suggested.
"Come on, kid." Cloud pulled Harry away to a nearby table that was, with the level of background noise, out of earshot of the bar. "What'll you have?"
"Oh! Uh...what do they serve?" Harry asked.
"Beer, mostly. Ale, mead, spirits," Cloud replied, glancing at a menu that had been carelessly left on the table. "Water, of course, but it's probably not very good for you."
"And alcohol is good for you?" Harry quipped.
"Touche," Cloud conceded. "Hrm...you never said anything about your age."
"I'm nineteen."
"Is it legal for you to drink in your home at your age?" Cloud asked.
"I think so; people are considered adults at seventeen in London."
"All right then. Hey, barman! Bring us a couple o' beers!" Cloud called.
"Comin' right up!" came the reply. A minute later, a waitress came over and plunked two mugs of cold, frothy beer before them. Cloud gave her a small sum of gil, including the tip.
"Don't try to drink it too fast if this is your first time, kid. You'll get burned," Cloud warned before guzzling his beer. "Hmm...that's not bad."
Heeding the older man's warning, Harry took a long, slow draught. He swallowed, not particularly liking the taste. "Not bad...?" Harry repeated. "It kinda tastes like soda...without the soda."
"That's beer for ya, kid. It's an acquired taste," Cloud laughed.
By the time Harry (grimacingly) finished his beer, Aeris returned. "Okay, he'll make some dresses for you two."
"That's what I was afraid of," Harry groaned. He and Cloud stood up and followed the flower girl back to the clothes shop.
"Oh, you're here," the owner declared. "They're ready. Go ahead and try them on."
Despite his misgivings, Harry was impressed. "You made the dresses that quickly?"
The owner laughed. "I'm an old man, son. With the amount of experience I have, you learn some nifty shortcuts that don't skimp on the quality." He handed Cloud a purple dress made of silk, and gave Harry a dress colored a dark green ("To highlight your eyes, son,"), also made of silk.
Hesitantly and grimacing all the way, Harry stepped into the first booth while Cloud took the second. Harry turned and closed the shutters and removed his robes, jeans, and jumper. He slid the dress up, but couldn't seem to get it quite right.
"How...do you put this thing on?" he heard Cloud ask aloud. He then heard Cloud cry out in protest. "Hey! What are you doing!?"
Whatever Aeris did to Cloud, it seemed that she intended to do to Harry. Her head peek around the shutters, leaving Harry frantically pulling the dress to cover himself (and almost ripping it in the process). Eventually her head pulled back, allowing Harry to redress in his jeans and jumper in privacy. He pulled his robes back on and left the booth, the dress over one shoulder.
"It's still not right..." Aeris mused. "A wig! That's what you need, Cloud!"
"Umm, I thought you might, so I talked to my friend about getting one," the owner remarked. "You know the gym? You'll find a lot of people there like you. Go on and talk to them."
Cloud came out, back in his purple suit. "...'like you'? Aeris, what did you tell him?"
"Does it matter!?" Aeris shot back, indignant. "We got some pretty dresses!"
"To be honest, Cloud, I really don't want to know what Aeris told him," Harry whispered into the blonde's ear as they walked toward the gym (they left the dresses at the shop).
"You have a point, kid," Cloud agreed. The trio stepped inside and Aeris began talking to what appeared to be a man in women's clothing.
That man looked at Cloud and Harry. "Are you...the ones who want to be cute?"
"Cute?" Harry and Cloud repeated, looking affronted.
"Right," Aeris cut in. "And about the wig..."
"Yeah, I heard. But it'll cost ya," the cross-dresser remarked.
"Urggh!" One of the large men that were working out stopped his exercise and came over. "Big Bro!! The only way you're gonna get cuter is if you can beat Big Bro!!"
"That's right! You've got to compete with us!" one of the men doing squats in the ring to Harry's right called out.
"You're right," the transvestite nodded. "Let's do squats."
"All right! We'll beat you out of this gym!" the first man cheered.
"Shut yer trap and get over here!" the leader of the gym ordered. The first man came over, and Cloud stepped up. "Now, I'll explain the rules. Whoever has the most squats in thirty seconds gets the wig."
"Got it," Cloud nodded.
"Grr! I'm not going to lose! Big Bro's wig is MINE!" Cloud's squatting opponent growled.
"Just be quiet," 'Big Bro' snapped. He turned back to Cloud. "It's not fair for you to start right away. So, you want a practice round?"
"I don't need to practice," Cloud grunted.
"Now, let's begin the real thing! Start!"
Despite the man's probable-years at doing squats, Cloud beat the pants off him. After thirty seconds passed, the man had eighteen squats; Cloud had done somewhere over twenty-five.
"You're really something," 'Big Bro' told Cloud. "Okay, I'm a man of my word. Here you are." He handed Cloud a blonde wig with pigtails. The color of the wig matched almost exactly with Cloud's natural hair color.
"Don't worry, Harry," Aeris whispered as the man complained about losing, only to be slugged by 'Big Bro.' "I can manage something with your hair to make you look more...feminine."
Harry grinned sardonically. "Good luck with that. I haven't gotten my hair to do anything but grow all over the place ever since I was born." Harry was sure Aeris would not manage anything.
How very wrong he was.
In the dress shop, Aeris turned to them. "Aren't you going to change?"
Cloud and Harry both sighed. "I guess I'm ready," Harry groaned. "As much as I don't want to. Can't I go as an escort or something?"
"You heard the doorman, Harry. The Don's not into men," Aeris admonished. She gently pushed him into the booth. Cloud took the next one.
This time, neither had any real problem getting into their respective dresses. And as much as Harry admitted to liking the feel of the material, he was not happy with being in a woman's dress. Fortunately, the dress completely covered his legs down to his feet, so he could keep his jeans on. His jumper, however, he had to take off and stuff into a pocket in his cloak. Gryffindor's Sword was in there as well, and he re-tied his cloak around his neck.
"Hmm, not bad," the owner mused. "This may be a new business for me."
"Yeah, you're right. Should we try it?" the clerk asked his father. He turned to Harry, Aeris, and Cloud. "Thanks for showing us something new. My father's got his motivation back now. So the dresses are on the house."
Aeris shook her head at Cloud and Harry. "Walk more nicely, Miss Cloud, Miss Harriet. Like this..." She proceeded to show them how to walk femininely.
"What do you mean, 'nicely'?" Cloud said through gritted teeth. He followed Aeris' lead.
"Oh, you're so cute, Miss Cloud!" the flower girl squealed, laughing. "Now, let's do something about your hair, Harriet." Aeris set Harry down and, pulling a comb and brush from somewhere (Harry could have sworn she'd conjured them) and began styling his hair.
This went on for several minutes, with all the patrons of the shop, the owner and his son, and Cloud all watching them, all the while Aeris was brushing, combing, and pulling his hair into shape. Harry became acutely familiar with how animals probably felt like in the zoo - providing they were capable of feeling and understanding such emotions, of course.
"There! Finished!" Aeris stepped back and moved Harry in front of a full-length mirror.
"Whoa." Harry looked radically different. His hair, normally a wild mess of bouncy tendrils of hair, was now pulled into a single, silky ponytail, the tip of which tickled Harry's shoulders as he moved his head back and forth.
"See? I can style anyone's hair," Aeris remarked smugly. "Aah...I want a dress, too." She turned to the shop owners. "Do you have one that will look good on me, too?"
The owner's son pulled a dress off the rack. "How's this?"
The owner pointed to another. "How about that one?"
"Father, what are you talking about? THIS one's much better!" the son tugged a third dress.
The owner shook his head and brandished a fourth dress. "No, what are you saying? This one."
Irritated, Aeris walked over to the dress rack and pulled out a long, red dress without any straps. "I want this one!" She smirked at everyone's shocked silence as she stepped into the booth. She turned and looked at the owner, his son, Cloud, and Harry one by one. "I'm going to change. No peeking!" When she came out a couple of minutes later, Harry felt his jaw drop. "So? How do I look?" Harry saw Cloud shake his head. "Oh, you're no fun!"
Harry: That was a long chapter.
Sirius: Says the boy wearing a green silk dress.
Harry: Shut up, Sirius!
But Miss Harriet, you look soooo cute!
Harry: pulls Gryffindor's Sword from his robe
Meep. Cor and Sirius run away
Harry: chases after them
