Disclaimer: How should I do this time? Meh. I don't own HP or FF.
Harry: I hate your guts, Cor.
You'll get over it. It's...Whoops, almost gave away this chapter. Can't have that, now can we?
Sirius: It's what? I wanna know!
Then go read the chapter like a good little dog, Sirius. Oh, wait, good little dogs can't read, can they?
Harry: Padfoot can. But then, he's not a good little dog, either.
Sirius: whimpers Everyone's picking on me today...
And re do it because re ruv roo, Siwius! terrible Scooby-Doo impression
Harry: Cor, never, ever do that again.
If I ever decorate my room in my house anything at all like this, I'll have Ginny hex me into the next century, Harry thought. The bedroom reeked of pansy playboy-wanna-be. Which, in retrospect, is exactly what Don Corneo is. A pansy playboy-wanna-be.
The walls, bed, and blanket were all a deep red. The sheets on the bed were pink with lacy white trim. An old jukebox in the corner of the room attempted to play some 'romantic' music, but it failed, sounding more like the ghost band that had played at Headless Nick's Five Hundredth Deathday Party back in Harry's second year.
"Ahh, we're finally alone..." Corneo declared in what Harry guessed was the man's best 'smooth operator' voice. "All right, pussycat...come to daddy!" Harry managed to subdue the grimace that made its way to his face, and slowly came over to the bed where Corneo crouched on his knees. "You're so cute, I never get tired of you. Do you like me, too?"
I think I'm gonna be REALLY sick, Harry thought, his face paling. "Ummm..."
"You don't like me?" Don Corneo asked, pleadingly. "There's someone else, isn't there?"
Another person that likes to twist words. "No, only you," Harry said, successfully restraining the urge to grimace and spit. His teeth managed to grit themselves, though.
"You sure know how to make a guy feel good!" Corneo exclaimed.
Maybe because I AM a guy? Harry thought snidely. Merlin, he's thicker than Crabbe and Goyle put together! I'm not even attempting to disguise my voice!
"Then wh-what do you want to do?" the Don stuttered.
Harry mentally sighed. If it must be done, it must be done. Unclenching his teeth, he said, "Whatever YOU want, 'daddy'."
Corneo missed the sneer on the word 'daddy.' "Oh man! I can't stand it! All right, then..." He hopped forward on the bed, like a frog. "Give me a kiss. A KISS!"
No way in hell. Outwardly, Harry said, "Nope, can't do that." He turned away, turning his back on Corneo.
Apparently, this had never happened to the Don before. "Why? WHY? WHY!?"
"Because..." Harry declared, whirling around and, with a great ripping sound, tore his dress in two and tugged Gryffindor's Sword free from the makeshift sheath he'd procured from the sleeve of an old jumper and a belt loop on his jeans. He held it pointed toward Corneo, who jumped back in shock. "Because you have information that we want, and you're going to give it to us!" Harry had to admit, he felt he had looked pretty cool, ripping the silk garment off and whipping out his blade in one smooth movement. His cloak, along with the shirt he had stuffed into a pocket earlier, now lay on the floor at the foot of the bed.
"A...BOY!?" Corneo shrieked. "You tricked me!! Somebody get in here NOW!!"
Tifa, Aeris, and Cloud broke in, smashing through the screen door. "Unfortunately for you, no one will be coming that is going to help you," Cloud boomed.
"You! You're the ones from before! What the hell's going on!?" Corneo cried.
"Shut up!" Tifa growled. "We're asking the questions now! What did your assistants find out! Talk! If you don't tell us..."
Harry caught the hint the bartender aimed at him. "I'll cut them off," he threatened, lowering the point of his sword toward Corneo's groin. For emphasis, he placed his left foot on the bed, bringing the blade closer.
"No! Not that! I'll talk! I'll tell you everything!"
"So...talk." This came from Aeris.
"...I made 'em find out where the man with the gun-arm was. But that's what I was ordered to do," Corneo spoke quickly, eyeing the shining sword in Harry's hand fearfully. Like Pettigrew, Harry scowled.
"By who?" Tifa asked.
Corneo shook his head. "...No! If I tell you that, I'll be killed...!"
"Talk!" Tifa roared. "If you don't tell us..."
Cloud placed his foot on the bed, gripping the handle of his huge blade (Harry still wasn't sure how he managed to hide that) and pulled it forward enough so that Corneo could see the size of it. "I'll chop them off."
"Waaaaaah!" Corneo cried. "It was Heidegger of Shinra! Heidegger, the head of Public Safety Maintenance!"
"The head of Public Safety Maintenance?" Cloud repeated.
"Did you say the Shinra!?" Tifa questioned. "What are they up to!?" When Corneo didn't move to answer, the bartender spoke harshly. "Talk! If you don't tell us..."
Aeris stepped forward, drawing her staff and leveling it on Corneo. "I'll smash them."
"You're serious, aren't you?" Corneo gulped. "Ohboy, ohboy, ohboy...I'm not fooling around here either, you know. Shinra's trying to crush a small rebel group called AVALANCHE, and want to infiltrate their hideout. And they're going to crush them...literally. By breaking the support pillar holding up the plate above them."
Tifa and Aeris stepped back. "Break the support?" the bartender gasped.
"You know what's going to happen, don't you?" Corneo explained. "The plate'll go PING, and everything's gonna go BAMMMM! I heard their hideout's in the Sector 7 Slums...I'm just glad it's not here in Sector 6."
"They're going to wipe out the Sector 7 Slums!?" Tifa breathed. She turned to Cloud. "Cloud, will you come with me to Sector 7?"
"Of course, Tifa," Cloud nodded.
"I'll come to," Harry added. "I'm part of AVALANCHE, remember?" The quartet walked to the end of the bed, where Harry stooped and pulled his shirt and cloak back on.
He had just fastened his cloak when Corneo stood up suddenly, crying, "Just a second!"
"Shut up! We're finished with you!" Cloud roared.
"No wait, it'll only take a second!" Corneo pleaded. "How do you think scum like me feels when they babble on about the truth?"
"Because they have nothing left to lose?" Harry answered.
"Buzzzz! Wrong!" Corneo crowed as he flipped a switch. The floor underneath the four of them disappeared suddenly, causing the quartet to fall. The last sight Harry had of Corneo was of the man dancing, doing some macabre version of an old American dance move called the 'Twist.'
"That little...!" Ron began, but couldn't seem to find the proper words to adequately express his feelings toward the perverted little bugger.
"If I ever get my hands on him..." Ginny growled, fingering her wand.
"Calm down, everyone. Look, it's the President of Shinra," Remus declared, gesturing toward the screen. Sure enough, the rotund man in the burgundy suit and a cigar in his mouth was speaking to a thin man with dark hair and a dark beard, and a fat bloke with a full brown beard and a horse laugh.
"How are the preparations going?" the President asked the horse-man.
"Ha ha ha!! Smoothly, very smoothly! I assigned the Turks to this," came the gravelly reply.
"President!" the thin man called. "Are we really going to do this? Simply destroy a group with only a few members..."
The President of Shinra got up and walked around his desk toward the man. "What's the problem, Reeve? You want out?"
Reeve shook his head. "No. But, as head of the Urban Development Department, I have been involved in the building and running of Midgar. That's why..."
"Reeve, you should flush those personal problems in the morning with the rest of your crap," the horse-man laughed.
"The Mayor's against this anyway," Reeve added.
The fat bloke shrugged. "Mayor? He just sits in his building all day feeding his face! You still call that a Mayor?" He turned to the President and saluted. "Now if you'll excuse me, sir!" He leaves, and Reeve is left fuming. President Shinra placed a fatherly hand on his shoulder.
"You're tired," Shinra remarked. "Why don't you take a couple of days off and go somewhere?" Reeve looked at the President for a moment, then nodded slowly and left.
"Wow," Hermione whispered at the screen. "The leader of a tyrannical government actually cares for the well-being of his followers?"
But the President wasn't done speaking. "We'll destroy Sector 7 and report that AVALANCHE did it. Then, we'll send in the rescue operation care of Shinra, Inc...Heh, heh, heh. This is perfect."
"Guess not, Hermione," Tonks countered. "If he did care, he wouldn't sacrifice so many lives in the slums for a group as small as AVALANCHE."
"Absolute power, corrupts absolutely," Shacklebolt muttered. Remus nodded in agreement.
Harry: sigh And here I thought you were actually going to make me snog that git.
Shudder Me? No. I'm not against well-written slash, but guy-on-guy relationships just aren't my cup of tea.
Sirius: You don't know how glad we are to hear you say that.
I've said it before, Sirius. You just weren't listening (as usual).
Sirius: Oi! At least I didn't bother Lily time and time again for the right answers to my homework!
Harry: Duh. You were too busy pranking her and Snape to bother trying to convince Mum to let you copy her work. Not that Hermione lets us copy her work, either, but...
Meh. If you had, Lily would probably had hexed you something fierce anyway.
Sirius: laughs Yeah, she probably would have.
