AN: Apologies for the length of time since the last update, but like I said my laptop died. I've had it fixed now, fortunately. Thanks for being so understanding. And I'm hoping you'll realise by the end of the chapter why, aside from laptop problems, it took me so long to complete this. Thanks. :)
Here's one thing I never expected to have to do in my life: Tell my husband's best friend (who also just happens my best friend's boyfriend) that his girlfriend his pregnant. But that is what I just did.
Now, that, the actual telling your best friend's boyfriend of the pregnancy, isn't the difficult part. The difficult part is the reaction that follows. Of course, that is dependent on there being a reaction. Because right now there is none. Nada. Just silence, and a completely frozen face. I am not kidding, JD's face has not changed from a completely neutral expression in the last minute since I told him about Elliot. The silence is killing me.
"JD," I say quietly. I'm afraid I'll startle him if I speak too loudly. "Did you hear what I said?"
JD moves his head to look at me. He's still sporting the same frozen facial expression, but at least that's some sort of reaction. "I uh…" he disjointedly utters. "I might need you to repeat it again."
"Elliot's pregnant."
JD nods. I think he has actually registered what I said this time. "Uh…I…How, exactly?"
Okay, I know the guy has just had a baby-sized bombshell dropped on him, but I can't not make a comment here. "JD, you're a doctor. Do you really need me to go into the mechanics?"
"No!" He says defensively. Okay, maybe it wasn't the best time to make a comment. "I mean… when did Elliot find out?"
"Just today. That's why everyone has been acting so weird today. She didn't want you to know anything about it until she was completely sure. Plus she was sort of flipping out a bit. Actually, she was flipping out a lot. And she knew if she spoke to you at all you'd know something was going on."
"How did she react?"
"More vocally than you," I say, chuckling just slightly. "She was really freaked out, shocked. I mean, you couldn't understand most of what she said she was freaking out that much. Which is completely understandable. She's calmed a lot now. Last time I saw her she was more in a shocked silence. I think she'd exhausted herself."
"Is Elliot still here?"
"No, she went home about an hour ago."
"Right," JD responds quietly. "I should go home soon too."
"Yeah. Look when you home, just don't completely freak. She's got this crazy idea in her head that you're going to hate her or something stupid like that."
"Why the hell would she think that?"
"She's just… she just feels like she's had the wind knocked out of her. She didn't expect to discover she was pregnant today."
"No kidding."
"Just go home and talk to her, JD."
JD stands up from the seat. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm going."
"Okay. Good," I say as he walks away.
"Carla?"
I look up. "Yeah?"
"Thanks."
I'm not sure exactly what he's thanking me for. "It's no problem."
He leaves the cafeteria.
That went well, I suppose. But I have to say, he seems awfully calm for someone who was just told he's gonna be a father.
I would say I feel like an evil bitch today, but then I would be lying. You see, thanks to me (and Michael, I have to give the guy some of the blame), Alyssa is dressed up as a fairy. A very pink, very sparkly fairy, complete with glitter, pink fairy wings, a pink tutu and pink ballet pumps with ribbons that tie up round her calves. Needless to say, she was ever so slightly annoyed with me when we first arrived. She's moved on from that now. Well, sort of…
"Damn shoes ribbons," Alyssa scathingly says as she kneels down to re-tie the ribbons. "This is your fault."
"Yeah, so it is"
Aly stand up again and glares at me. "Your sarcasm can be so contemptuous sometimes."
"As can yours."
"Well, as long as we're clear," Alyssa mockingly retorts, before exaggeratingly smiling.
You know, people could think we're such bitches to each other, but really we're just having a laugh.
"Okay, so we have the money from nearly everybody on that floor," Alyssa says, looking down at her clipboard with the list of names of people who owe money. " And I need to mark JD down as 'ask again at lunch'. I think we're done here. Wanna head to the second floor?" She asks, ask she hits the elevator down button.
"Yeah."
The elevator doors slide open and we both step in .As the elevator descends, Alyssa asks this question.
"Hey, have you seen Michael at all today? I haven't seen him since I got here."
"No, I haven't seen him," I answer. "Why? Do you like him or something?"
Alyssa rolls here eyes. "Are you still on that? It's been, like, six weeks already. Drop it."
"Nope," I say smugly. "Not until I'm proved right"
There's a ding noise, and the elevator doors open.
"Well, you're going to be waiting for a very long time then." Alyssa looks down at her hands. "How the hell did I have some much glitter on my hands?" She asks nobody in particular. "The glitter is confined to the wings that are strapped to my back."
"It gets everywhere."
"I'm gonna wash my hands before we collect any more money. Get some of the glitter to disappear."
"Dude, you don't want to do that," I state suddenly.
Alyssa shoots me a weird look. "What?"
"It's the second floor bathroom," I explain. "Nobody ever uses them. The Janitor tells you not to, and he should know. He cleans all these places. Or at least he's supposed to." It's a well-known fact that Janitor doesn't really do a hell of a lot of work around here.
"You're right," Alyssa frowns. "You know what, how bad can they really be? If they're really as bad as Janitor says they are, then like, Kelso would have kicked his ass by now."
"Maybe it's just like a hospital myth that you don't go in there." I love philosophy. "Maybe it's just an old rumour that got really out of hand and now everyone thinks it's the gospel truth."
"Yeah," Alyssa enthusiastically says. "So… do we dare?" She asks, tilting her head slightly in the direction of the mysterious second floor bathroom door.
I nod. "We dare. But if I suffocate from the smell in here, I'm taking you down."
Cautiously, Alyssa pushes the door open just slightly. She turns to look at me. "No overpowering smells," she whispers. "Do we still dare?"
"We still dare."
Here goes," Alyssa mutters, before fully opening the door.
We walk in slowly, but stay close enough to the door that we can make a running exit if something, you know, jumps out and tries to attack us or something.
"This doesn't seem scary at all," Alyssa states. "I wonder why nobody ever comes in here."
I'm less optimistic than Lys. "I'm still waiting for something to jump out and attack us."
"Irrational much?" Alyssa sarcastically retorts. She turns on one of the cold taps and begins scrubbing the glitter off her hands.
It's quiet. Eerily quiet, except for the sound of high heels going along the corridor outside.
"You know what's really weird?" I say, breaking the eerie stillness. "There are no mirrors in here," I add, turning round to face the wall that the sinks are attached to. "You can't see if anyone's going to sneak up on you."
Alyssa laughs. "Nobody's going to jump out on you," she says. But then she gives almighty scream. Which causes me to scream bloody murder even though I have no idea what's going on, but I'm terrified out of my mind. There's just a lot of screaming going on and I don't know who all is screaming, but there's more then two people screaming.
"What the hell were you saying about nobody jumping out on us!" I scream, before I've had a chance to see what all the commotion is.
Alyssa, however, has already turned around. "Holy frick! You scared the living crap out of me!" She shouts.
At least I know it's nobody standing behind us wielding an axe to kill us with. I turn around and see who scared, and I quote, 'the living crap' out of Alyssa. Oh, it's Dr Reid, otherwise known as Alyssa's aunt Elliot. "Isn't she one of the people who tells you not to use the second floor bathrooms?" I ask quietly, but I get no answer.
"Are you okay?" Alyssa asks her aunt. "You look a bit freaked out."
Alyssa's aunt is answering, but I have no idea what she's saying. She's talking so fast that the rest of the world is hearing this: "Sosdjsdjfadfeqkrjheuid."
Okay, it's maybe not the rest of the world that's hearing that. Just Alyssa and me. But there's no way, that Alyssa could have understood that.
…
What the hell? Not only did Alyssa appear to understand what her aunt said, but she's replying in the same quick speed that means I can't understand what's being said. They're having like a full-blown conversation in the language of gibberish. This is weird. It's like when you're on the French exchange programme and being stuck in room with people who are speaking French when you know no French! Weirdest. Conversation. Ever. And thankfully, it appears to be drawing to a close, because Alyssa is dragging me out of the bathroom by the arm.
"Holy crap," Alyssa mutters once we're outside.
"Can I ask a really random question? Is there like some sort of Reid family secret language that the rest of the world is not aware of?"
Alyssa looks at me like I'm weird. "What?"
"Did you seriously understand any of that gibberish you were talking or listening to?"
"Yeah," Alyssa answers while nodding. "Come on, we need to find Carla," she says, walking towards the elevator.
I hate post-ops, especially when you have to go and explain to someone why the surgery was unsuccessful. I just went to speak to Mr Hannigan. I wanted to personally apologise for the fact that the surgery I performed failed to find anything to explain his pain. He seems like a really nice guy. It makes me feel all the worse that I couldn't find anything.
I just have to write up one chart, and then I'm heading back to my building for trick-or-treating with Carla and Izzy. I'm just hoping we can pull the candy smuggling off. I've been looking forward to the candy for the last two weeks. You see, because of my diabetes, Carla only lets me have one candy bar every six months. But what she doesn't know is I occasionally sneak some chocolate when she's not around. …. Please don't tell her that.
Charts are so boring. So much information to write. Oh, at least there's JD walking round the corner. "Hey, man," I say once he's standing near me. "You got a minute?"
JD doesn't answer me.
"JD?"
He still doesn't answer me. Instead he just says: "Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god!"
What the hell? "JD, you okay?" I ask.
He still does not even register that I've spoken to him. JD just keeps walking by me along the corridor, repeating 'Oh my god' over and over and over again.
This is scaring me. I follow him as he walks in an almost trance-like state. This is weird. I've have never seen JD in this shape before. It's almost disturbing. "JD?" I say loudly, trying to get his attention. No coherent response. "Chocolate Bear? Is there anybody in there? Hellooooo?" Seriously, still no response. What in God's name has got into him? I have to stop this.
As JD continues to walk on, completely oblivious to anything and everything else going on around him, I really quickly overtake him, and stand directly in his path. I hold my hand out, acting like a stopper. Now all I have to do is wait.
"Oh my god," he mutters. He's like a broken record. The closer he gets to my hand, the louder he speaks. "Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god."
Just a few more steps until he hits my hand.
"Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my-"
That would be him smacking into my hand, which got his attention. He's now looking me straight in the eye.
"Oh my god!" He says one last time before almost collapsing into a heap on the floor. Once he, for lack of a better word, untangles his limbs, he leans back again the wall.
"Dude?" I say cautiously, quietly. "Are you okay?" That was an extremely stupid question to ask. Quite clearly he isn't okay.
JD looks up at me. "I'm freaking out."
"I can see that," I flippantly say. Not the right tone to use. I should really think before I speak. "But why? What's happened?"
"I knocked up Elliot, that's what happened!" JD shouts at me.
Now, in a normal situation I'd be a little bit pissed off that he'd just yelled at me, but given what he's just said, I think I'll let that go.
"Elliot's pregnant?" I bet that has something to do with why I didn't see Carla all day.
JD exhales deeply, and then says, "Yep."
"Wow," I mutter, as I sit down next to Vanilla Bear. "No wonder you're freaking out."
"Yeah."
"You alright?"
"Well, I just walked through five floor of the hospital repeating 'oh my god', so I'm thinking no. I just… I can't believe this. You're going along fine one minute and the next, bam, your girlfriend's pregnant. Wouldn't you be freaking out?"
"Yeah, I would be," I answer. "How many weeks pregnant is Elliot?"
"I… actually don't know."
"How can you not know? Actually, you know what, don't answer that," I add, when I see the satisfied look on his face. "That's exactly how you've ended up in this situation!"
"Yeah," he says seriously, like he's getting back to reality.
"So how's Elliot taking it then? Happy as a clam?"
"Not according to Carla," JD answers quickly. "I haven't actually seen her yet. Elliot went home a while ago and I wanna get some of my freak out of the way before I go home."
"That's fair."
"Ever feel like you've had a house dropped on you?" JD asks quietly.
"Yeah," I answer. "But it'll be okay, man. Trust me," I say, as I stand up.
"Thanks."
"I need to go and finish of a chart, and Carla will kill me if I makes us late for the building's trick-or-treat. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
JD nods.
I take a few steps away before turning round again. "You gonna head home?"
JD looks up at me. "I'm gonna need a few minutes yet."
"Okay, then."
You know how you get those days where you feel like something really big and important is going to happen? Well, I woke up feeling like that this morning, but I thought it was just because of the fundraiser.
"So the situation is that your aunt thinks she's up the spout?" Kate asks. Luckily we're back in the elevator and there's no one else here.
"I wouldn't exactly put it that way if you're talking to her, but yeah, that's the situation," I answer.
"And she doesn't want JD to know that she thinks she's pregnant?"
"Nope."
"Right," Kate mutters. "So why are finding Carla?"
"I don't know. We're just told to find Carla, explain the situation, and then get Carla to go to the second floor," I say, just as the elevator doors slide open.
"By the way, how the hell can you understand someone when they're talking so quickly? And how the hell can you talk so quickly?"
"Sixteen years of practice, my friend," I say semi-sarcastically. "Hey, Nurse Roberts?" I say, leaning on the nurses' station. "Do you know where Carla is?"
"She's in Mr Hanngian's room, 2112, honey," She says politely.
"Thanks. Where's 2112?" I ask Kate.
"Right over there," she answers, pointing to the room opposite the nurses' station.
"How did I not see that?" I mutter to myself, as I knock on the door of Mr Hannigan's room. It looks like Carla is the only one in the room. Well, aside from the patient. "Hey, Momma Bear," I say stepping into the room. "We kinda have a bit of a situation."
"Oh, what kind of situation?" JD sticks his head around the corner of the room.
Oh, crap!! "Um…" I need a way to get around this. This is not going to end well. "I…" Wait a second. I could speak Spanish here. JD doesn't understand Spanish? Or does he? I can't remember!! What the hell, it's the only option I've got here!
Okay, here goes…
I am a bad person. Really, I am. Around about 5pm, I was told that my girlfriend was pregnant. About half an hour after that, I said I was going to go home and talk to Elliot. It's now 1.30am, and I haven't been home yet. See. Bad person. And I know as soon as I walk in there she's going to murder me. She probably should. I deserve it.
It seems like Elliot won't be the only one to kill me, not if the voicemails sent to my phone are anything to go by. Take this one, sent by Carla:
'Okay, I know you're freaking out a bit, but it's 9.30. Don't you think it's time to go home now?"
Or this one from Turk:
"It's now 10.45. Dude. Go. Home. You want to know what Carla has threatened to do to me? She's threatened to rip my balls off. My balls. And I haven't even done anything. Imagine what she's gonna do to you if you don't go home. And soon."
Or, there's this one from Alyssa, left at 11.52pm:
"Dude. Seriously?!"
Enough said it seems.
It's not that I just haven't gone home. I wanted to, really. But every time I thought about going, I started freaking out again. So I stayed around the hospital for an hour or so more than I intended to, then I started walking home, got about a quarter of the way there, started freaking out again, about-turned and headed for the bar. I didn't drink though. Honestly. I just sat in a booth in the back, just thinking and trying to get the courage together to go back home. Once again, started walking, got some of the way there before chickening out and about turning. This time I ended up at the mall. Don't ever ask me why I ended up in the mall, but I just followed where my legs took me. And that place was the mall.
As it turns out, you can spend a lot of time in a mall trying to distract yourself from going home. I should know; I just practiced that skill. I was just wandering in and out of random shops not really looking at anything in particular, but I was just looking around any and every shop what was still open. Who knew the mall would stay open until midnight? Anyway.
As part my aimless wandering, I somehow ended up in a baby store. Yes, yes, the irony is not lost on me. And no, that was not good for the freak out when I realised where I was. For whatever reason, I had ended up in the clothing section, and my eye went to this tiny little onesie. So cute, it was. It was white with little pink rims around the cuff, the collar and at the feet, and there was writing on it. Do you want to know what the writing said? My daddy loves me. I must have stared at that thing for ages, because I was still staring at it when the assistant walked over to tell me that the store was closing and I needed to leave. And that's how I ended up here, sitting outside Elliot's front door, trying to pluck up the courage to go in there even though I know she'll kill me as soon as I walk through there. Needless to say, I got a taxi home to make sure I didn't about turn and run again.
That onesie. I managed to get the shop assistant to stay open a few extra minutes to let me buy it. I just thought that maybe I could give to Elliot to show that despite the fact I'm still completely flipping out about this (and probably will be for at least the next eighteen years), I'm… I don't know, I'm just here.
Okay. I need to go in. Here goes.
I open the door slowly. I don't know why. Maybe I just think that Elliot will hurt me less if I don't startle her when I go in.
There doesn't seem to be any sign of life, except for one lamp that shines dimly in the corner.
"Elliot?" I say quietly, but get no response.
I walk further into the room and carefully look around in case Elliot or Carla or Turk or Alyssa (or all four of them) is waiting to beat me to a pulp with a baseball bat. Not that I wouldn't let them beat me up, but I'd like to have some warning first.
If that lamp is on, somebody must still be up. Or maybe somebody just forgot to switch that plug off. I'll do it. I walk quietly towards the lamp, going around the couch to get there. As I walk by the couch, my foot hits something, I don't know what it is. It's one of the couch cushions. I go to throw it back on the couch but I don't, because Elliot is lying asleep on it.
Crap.
So, I have two options here. I could either wake Elliot up, try to put her to bed so she isn't sleeping on the couch and risk her kicking my ass now, or I could just let her sleep and have her kick my ass in the morning. Maybe she's just dozing.
"Elliot? You awake?" I say.
No response. Nope, she's not dozing anyway.
I think there's a blanket on the bed. There is. I lift up the blanket and take it through to the living room and lay it over Elliot, then glance down at the tiny onesie. I guess that conversation will have to wait until tomorrow.
I'm a bad person.
As it happens, finding Carla wasn't as bad as I'd initially thought it would be. You know, this is a big hospital; she's a small person. The math doesn't look particularly good there. And while it was easy to find Carla, I nearly cocked the whole thing up anyway. Best piece of advice I can give anybody who is involved in some weir find-somebody-but-you-can't-tell-someone-else-what's-going-on situation kinda like this: Always plan out a cover story. Any kind of story. Doesn't matter what language it is. Just a cover story of some form or other.
"Second floor bathrooms," Carla mutters. "This must be bad."
I nod. "It's bad. In fact, it's rather disturbing. You should prepare yourself," I say as I open the door.
Hmm. That's weird. It's silent in here. I was expecting some crying or some sounds of high heels pacing across the tiled floor, but there's nothing.
I look over my shoulder to Kate. "It was the second floor bathrooms, right?"
Je suis answered by the sound of someone hurling.
"Yep," Kate says. "It was indeed the second floor bathrooms."
"Elliot?" Carla says in a completely caring, motherly (that was an ironic word choice) tone. "Is that you, honey?"
There's a cough, and then my aunt answers. "Yeah."
"Okay, well we'll be waiting out here for you when you're ready," she says calmly.
Morning sickness must suck.
When I look up Kate and more specifically Carla are looking at me with weird 'you did not just say that' faces.
"Did I really say that aloud?" I ask.
They nod.
"Oops." Note to self: Work on not saying every thought out loud. That skill comes in handy quite a lot of the time.
A few seconds later, the toilet flushes. My aunt walks out of her cubicle and heads straight for the sink to rinse her face with cold water.
Carla walks over to her. "Are you alright?"
I'm already in trouble for saying the thoughts in my head, so I won't bother saying that that is a stupid question.
"No," Elliot replies. See. Stupid question. "I'm completely freaking out here. I don't know what I'm going to do, I don't know what I'm going to say to JD, I just don't know anything."
"Okay, first of all, just calm. Everything is going to be fine," Carla slowly says. "Right. How many tests have you taken?"
"I, uh… just the one."
Carla tilts her head to the side. "Honey, you know those things can be wrong. Do you have another test there?"
My auntie shakes her head. "No. I only had time to steal one out of the supply closet before one on the interns opened the door."
Then Carla walks over to where Kate and I are standing. "Here's twenty bucks," she says, taking (you guessed it) a twenty-dollar bill from her pocket. Who knew bear costumes had pockets? "One of you go to the pharmacy on 23rd street and buy two pregnancy tests. And be discreet."
"That's gonna be difficult in these costumes," Kate quickly points out.
"Well, wear a coat or something," Carla snaps.
As Carla is speaking (cough snapping cough) at us, my aunt looks down at her watch. "Crap," she mutters. "I have a consult in ten minutes. I need to pull myself together. Oh, God, I can't do this."
"Hey, hey," Carla says soothingly. "It's going to be fine. Just calm down. I'll come to the consult with you. It'll all be fine. Okay?"
"Okay."
Carla looks back to Kate and I. Her facial expression is a lot calmer than it was a couple of minutes ago. "You two go out first."
Kate and I follow Carla's instructions. We don't want to do anything else to make her snap at us again. It's not fun.
"Okay, so how we gonna work this?" Kate asks once we're out of the bathroom.
Sigh. "Okay, I'll go to the pharmacy. You cover for me."
"Okay. Good luck."
We walk off in the opposite directions.
Oh god, this is going to go so badly.
I hate waking up, especially at four in the morning. You see, Muggins here forgot he had to work this morning so nearly jumped out of his skin. And trust me, there nothing like a 4A.M. alarm to wake you up and remind you that your girlfriend's pregnant and you did not go home and talk to her last night. And if that wasn't bad enough, you're now going to leave for work without speaking to her either.
If I wasn't a horrible person before, I most definitely am now.
What the hell can I really do? I can't wake her up at 4A.M.. She'll kill me. But if I go to work without talking to her she'll still kill me. Or worse, she'll get Carla to kill me. I'm completely caught between a rock and a hard place.
You know what. I think the kindest thing to do here would be to just let Elliot sleep. I have to leave like… now if I don't want to be late. I don't have time to talk now anyway. But I can't just leave. What can I do?
There is a pad of paper on the table…
Oh, sweet mother. That's just lame. But what other choice do I really have? I get the pad of paper and scribble down a note before walking out of the front door and heading to work.
I'm going to be dead by the end of the day, aren't I?
This could not have been a worse day to be in fancy dress. Here I am, dressed like candy floss and now I have to walk outside in the real world dressed like this. Okay, I know, there really is a situation going on here, but still. At least I've got my coat. Except it's not really long. And the tutu, pink tights and the weird ballet-esque ribbon shoes that are the most embarrassing things, so really I may as well not bother with the coat. But it is quite cold outside, so I'll take the coat, even if I do have to hide my fairy wings somewhere they won't get lost.
Once I've hidden my wings and collected my coat from the ground floor, I walk towards the out doors.
"Hey, Lys!"
Crap. That's Michael.
"Where you going?" he asks when he catches up with me.
"I, uh, have an errand to run," I answer. I just hope to god he doesn't start asking questions.
"An errand?"
Damn. "Yeah."
"What kind of errand?"
Oh dear. "Just an errand. I'll explain later. Much later."
Michael lowers his eyebrows. "Okay. Is everything alright?"
"Yeah, it's just… I'll explain later."
I quickly walk out of the hospital before he can ask any more questions.
I've taken refuge in an empty room. Yeah, yeah, I know that's not exactly the smartest thing I've ever done but having you been keeping up with the programme lately?
As I close my eyes and think about how much of an ass I am, I hear the door open.
"JD. You in here? It's Turk. One of the nurses told me you were in here, so you better answer me if you're in here or I'll be biting a poor nurse's head off for no reason."
"I'm in here."
Turk steps round the corner and looks down at me, sitting on the floor. "You alright?"
"No."
My Brown Bear sits down next to me. "I'm sorry. How did it go with Elliot last night?"
I look down at the ground sheepishly. "It didn't."
"What happened?"
"I freaked out completely. I didn't go home until after midnight and Elliot was already asleep. And I left before she woke up this morning."
Turk shakes his head at me. "JD, what the hell were you thinking?"
"I wasn't"
Turk scoffs. "Clearly."
"What am I going to do?"
"Well for starters you should talk to Elliot," Turk says, like it's completely obvious. "And you should do it before Carla has a chance to kick your ass. 'Cause trust me; she'll do it."
I sigh. "I know. It's just… it's a shocker."
"I know," Turk says sympathetically, "but once the initial shock and everything wears off, it's all gonna be okay."
"I hope so."
Turk pager beeps. "I have to go. Promise me the first chance you get you'll go and speak to Elliot?"
"Yeah, I'll go."
"Good boy," Turk says, nodding. He walks towards the door then turn around again. "Don't you have some patients to see?" He turns again and walks out of the room.
"Yeah." I stand up and walk out of the room too.
Okay, that was bad. I almost completely spilled the beans of the whole thing to Michael. And since I clearly suck at trying to think up believable stories on the spot, I have to think of a way to make sure that JD definitely doesn't find out. Wait a second, is that Janitor sitting on the bench?
"Hey, Janitor!"
Janitor turns and looks at me as I walk towards him. "Hey, little blondie. What can I do for you?"
"I was actually hoping you could do me a favour."
"What's that, kid?"
"If I gave you this twenty dollar bill I'm holding in my hand, could spend the day distracting J… um…" God, what is the Janitor calls JD again? Oh right! "Could you spend the day distracting Idiot for us?"
Janitor furrows his eyebrows. "Distract him how?"
"By any means possible." That could have been a dangerous answer.
Janitor nods. "Okay, I'm in," he says, taking the twenty dollars from my hand.
"Thank you." I walk down the path, away from the janitor.
That was easy.
For the first time today, I walk into Mr Hannigan's room. He's being discharged today and I want to say goodbye to him before he goes.
"Hey Mr Hannigan," I say as I walk in. And I know the tone of voice really isn't happy, or optimistic, but it's difficult to muster up happy or optimistic when you've come to the conclusion you're the worst person that ever lived. "You excited to be getting discharged today?"
"Yeah," he smiles. "If you don't mind me asking, how did it go with your girlfriend last night?"
"Well, I freaked out, didn't go home for hours –" Before I have a chance to sit down, somebody yanks my arm and pulls me away. What the hell?
"Excuse us!" I recognise the voice as Turk's. He drags me right out of Mr Hannigan's room. "Dude! What are you thinking?!"
"What the hell was that for?!" I yell.
"You can't pawn your problems off on you patients!"
"I wasn't," I say defensively. "He asked!"
"You still don't do that!" Turk snaps. "You know what, follow me." He once again yanks my arm and drags me along the corridor.
"What the hell you doing? Where are you taking me?"
Two words: Pissed off. The pharmacy a few streets away that I was supposed to be going to is closed. For some idiot reason, it's closed. What is the deal with that? Seriously?! And as a result, I had to catch the bus to the mall where I know there's another pharmacy. Trust me, getting on a public bus dressed as a fairy is not fun. People kept giving weird looks. I should have had a sign that said 'I'm part of the Sacred Heart Hospital fundraiser. I'm not just dressed up as a fairy for the hell of it. I'm not crazy!" Actually, I should probably still have that sign. Walking around a mall in a fairy costume isn't fun either. I've just been keeping my head down, and hoping to God nobody recognises me.
I've actually using the same 'keep the head down' technique now that I'm in the pharmacy. If I wasn't praying before that nobody recognised me, I definitely now. If somebody has to recognise me, I at least hope it's not someone from my school. I'm still known as 'That New Chick From Connecticut' by most people who aren't within my small circle of friends. Can you imagine the scandal there would be if someone from the school saw me buying a pregnancy test? I could say it wasn't for me all I wanted, Kate and Michael could back me up all they could, it would not make the slightest bit of difference . It would still be one hell of a rumour mill.
Okay. So I've got the pregnancy test and I'm heading up to the counter. If I can make it there without being recognised, I'm as good as clear. Thank goodness there's not queue. Walk quickly, walk quickly. And I've put the test on the counter. The cashier is scanning it now.
"That'll be twelve dollars, please," she says.
When I hand over the twenty-dollar bill that Carla gave me, the cashier looks down at me disapprovingly and says, "But girl, you're only a child."
Oh sweet Moses. "It's not for me," I say, even though I know there is no way on this earth that this woman will buy that.
"That's what they all say, honey."
I roll my eyes, put the now paid for test into my bag, and walk out of the pharmacy.
"Dude, seriously! Why the hell have you brought me to the cafeteria?" I yell at Turk.
Okay, when I say Turk brought me to the cafeteria, I mean he dragged me here. And by dragged me here, I mean he literally dragged me here by the arm of my scrubs. He did not let go of my scrubs until we were down here. Even in the elevator. It's not like I had anywhere to run to!
Turk continues to drag me through the cafeteria until he finds an empty table.
"Turk, what the hell?" I ask once I'm sitting down. "What was that for? People were giving you weird looks."
Turk sits down opposite me. "JD. This is an intervention."
"An intervention?"
"Yes," Turk sternly says. "An intervention."
"An intervention for what?"
"So many things, really."
I raise an eyebrow. "Sarcasm at this time? Really?"
Turk ignores my question. "But most importantly it is an intervention to get you to talk to Elliot!"
"I'm going to."
"You said that at about 6pm last night. It's now 10am. That's sixteen hours, man."
As if I don't already know that. "Doesn't there need to be more than only you here to make this an intervention against me?"
Before Turk answers, I notice Dr Cox entering the cafeteria. He walks over to our table and takes a seat. He nods at Turk. "Gandhi." Then he looks at me. "Avoider Annie."
Oh, god.
I'm standing at the vending machine in the paediatrics ward. Anybody else think it's kind of a bad idea to have a vending machine in paediatrics. I'd have thought you'd want to restrict the amount of sugar the kids had access to? But what you gonna do? I'm just glad there's a vending machine somewhere. I could kill for a Snickers bar. What? 89 cents?! I could have bought a Snickers bar at the mall for 50c! Of course I didn't, but I was dressed in a fairy costume, buying a pregnancy test. I didn't exactly want to stick around to buy chocolate! Hence my being here, at the vending machine in paediatrics.
Suddenly, somebody taps my shoulder. I look around to see who it is.
"So did you manage to get there and back without anyone recognising you?" Kate asks.
"Sure did," I answer quietly. "Almost got caught out before I'd even left the hospital though. Michael stopped me and asked me where I was going and I couldn't quickly think of a good cover story."
"What did you eventually say?"
I cringe. "That I had an errand to run. Who says they have an errand to run?"
"You apparently," Kate sarcastically replies. "So what's the update?"
"Okay. Neither my aunt nor Carla can get a break until 12.45. Meet back at the second floor bathroom then," I answer, keeping the voice hushed.
"So 12.45, second floor?"
"Yeah."
"12.45, second floor, what?" Somebody asks.
Kate and I both wince. Why? Because one again, we've nearly spilled the beans to Michael.
"Uh… nothing," Kate answers.
Michael raises an eyebrow. "You sure?"
I nod. "Yeah, it's nothing." I could not sound less convincing right now.
"Okay then." Yeah. Michael clearly didn't buy that. "Hey, I have to cover the bake sale stand this afternoon. One of you want to help?"
"We can't," Kate and I simultaneously say.
"Why not?"
"'Cause we have other place to be," Kate answers.
"Where?"
"We, uh, can't tell you," I say. Why do I get the feeling this conversation is going to end badly?"
Michael seems confused. "Why not? What's going on?"
Once again, I say calmly: "We can't tell you."
"Why not?"
"Because we just can't!" I snap. I didn't even expect to snap. "We just can't! Later, we might be able to tell you, but right now, we can't tell you? Why the hell don't you get that?" Then I walk away.
I quietly hear Michael ask Kate: "Is she okay?"
"She'll explain later."
An intervention it is. Turk hasn't just got Dr Cox involved. Somehow, he's managed to assemble Doug, The Todd and Dr Kelso. Although, I'm not sure what help they're going to be…
I look at Kelso. "Looks like Mickhead owes me fifty bucks."
Then Doug. "Aww, cute. A little baby!."
And then Todd. "At least you're getting laid five." He holds up his palm for me to hit.
I shake me head.
The Todd lowers his hand dejectedly and frowns.
Okay, scratch what I said earlier. I do know that help these guys are going to be. None at all.
"You realise what you've gone and done, don't you?" Dr Cox asks snidely.
I exhale with annoyance. "What?"
"You've got an already insane woman pregnant. Now, any man knows that even the sanest woman goes crazy during pregnancy, and, well, by knocking up Barbie you've essentially multiplied her crazy cooties. And you know what that means don't you?"
I shake my head. "No."
Dr Cox sniggers like a mad man. "It means torture for the rest of us. And that will not end well for you."
"Seriously, guys!" Turk says. Clearly, he's annoyed. "I got you all here to help. This is the opposite of helping."
The four other doctors around me all mumble variations of 'sorry'.
Turk nods accomplishedly. "Alright then. Now, JD, why didn't you go home last night and talk to Elliot?"
"Because I was freaking out."
Dr Cox scoffs. "You'll have to come up with a better answer than that. Everybody freaks out when they find out they're gonna be a dad, but most people speak with their wives within the first sixteen hours of finding out!"
"And there's another thing," I continue, completely blanking Dr Cox's quite obvious jibe. "We're not married."
"So?" Dr Cox asks. "Jordan and I aren't married and we do fine. Whether you're married or not doesn't make the blindest bit of difference to the kid."
Turk agrees. "What really matters is if you and Elliot are there for your kid."
"What if I'm a lousy dad, though? What if I'm like how my dad was?"
"Okay, now we're getting somewhere," Turk mutters. "JD, take a look at yourself. You're a doctor; you're happy and healthy. You and your dad might not have got along so well, but he must have done something right along the way."
"This is a sentence I never thought I'd say and will never say again," Dr Cox says. "Gandhi is right. It doesn't matter how you well you try to raise that kid. You and Barbie are going to screw it up in your own special way, regardless of what you do!"
"Was that really necessary?" I ask.
Dr Cox nods. "It was."
"And what if –" Before I can finish my question, I am interrupted.
"Hey, Dorian," an angry voice says.
Everybody look up to see Alyssa standing at the table. Her arms are folded and she's glaring right at me.
"A word," she snarls.
Turk, Dr Cox, the Todd and Doug all look back at me.
"You're in trouble now," Turk whispers.
You want to know what is really annoying? I walked twenty minutes to the mall in a fairy costume to buy a pregnancy test. Then I had to walk the same distance back again. And then I had to carry it about it my bag for the last few hours. Thank god nobody went through my bag, because that would have been really awkward. Anyway, what's annoying is doing everything I just said, only for your aunt to discover that said pregnancy test is faulty. But that is exactly what happened.
Carla and my aunt are still waiting in the bathroom, while Kate and I sneak to the supply closet to, ahem, steal pregnancy tests from the hospital. I know what you're thinking. Wouldn't it just be simpler to go back to the mall and not risk being caught stealing hospital supplies? Yes, yes it would. But here's the thing. There's no time.
This whole thing is really stressful, I have to say. Well, it's stressful for Carla, Kate and I who are just trying to keep everything on the hush, so I can't even being to imagine how my aunt's feeling right now.
"Hey, Lys, can I ask you a question?" Kate asks. We're walking towards the supply closet. "Why did you completely snap at Michael earlier?"
"He was just pissing me off; he just wouldn't stop asking me questions when I'd already told him I'd explain later. Why couldn't he just leave it at that?" I ask rhetorically, feeling myself getting angry again. "But hey, that's enough of that then."
Now that we're standing at the supply closet door, I'm trying to unlock the damn thing. These keys that the Janitor gave me are confusing me. There are a million of them and I can't find the right one. Oh, wait, here we go.
The door unlocks and…. Oh crap. You'll never guess who's hiding in the supply closet.
"You two are probably thinking the same thing as I am," JD says when Kate and I stare at him.
"Why every time a door opens you're on the other side of it?" I sarcastically ask. You see, I use sarcasm because it's the best way to deflect suspicion. "How the hell did you end up stuck in here anyway?"
"It's a long story," he says as he stands up. "What are you two doing here?"
And once again, I find myself trying to make up a believable story off the top of my head. God, I'm crap at this.
"We were asked to do inventory!" Kate says quickly and enthusiastically. "Dr Cox is looking for you, by the way," she adds. You see, this is why this girl is my best friend. Not only does she think up an excuse for why we're invading the supply closet, she also creates an excuse to get rid of JD while we look in her for a pregnancy test to see if his girlfriend's pregnant with his baby. Life is weird sometimes.
"Oh, great. By any chance have either of you seen Elliot recently?"
Kate and I look at other before nodding. Well, technically it's true.
"Did she seem pissed?"
Kate and I nod again. Well, it is also technically true. He just doesn't know exactly why she's upset.
"Oh god." JD begins to run down the corridor, but then he stops and turns around again. "How did you two get the keys for that cupboard?"
Kate shrugs. "We asked Janitor and he gave us them. Why?"
"Just wondering." JD continues down the corridor.
Once we're standing in the cupboard and JD is out of earshot, Kate asks, "Do you reckon the Janitor locked him in here?"
"Well, considering I paid him twenty bucks to distract JD for the day, I would hope so."
Kate raises her eyebrows and blinks at me. "You paid Janitor to distract JD? You realise how dangerous that was?" She asks laughing, slightly.
"It's working isn't it?" I ask, as I rummage around the cupboard.
"That was pretty close before, though.
"I know," I say, accompanied with a sigh of relief. . "Although I nearly got caught before I'd even left the hospital. Michael stopped me and asked me where I was going. I felt horrible lying to him."
Kate sniggers. "I wonder why…"
"Because he's my friend, and I hate lying to my friends."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever."
"It's true," I say, rolling my eyes. "How crazy is all this?" "It's crazy," Kate don't speak for a couple of minutes. The two of us concentrate on searching for the tests.
"Oh, wait… here we go," Kate says, as she pulls a pregnancy test box from a larger box.
"Awesome."
"There's loads of them here," Kate mutters. "Do you think we should take two along?"
I think for a second. "It couldn't hurt."
"What the hell are you playing at, dude?" Alyssa shouts. When I don't answer her,
she says, "I'm actually asking you, here! What the hell are you playing at?"
"I'm not playing at anything," I answer sheepishly. Because that's an answer that won't get me beaten up…
"Then why exactly is my aunt in a massive panic because she's convinced that she's going to have to raise a kid alone?"
"She really thinks that?"
Turk scoffs. "Can you really blame her?"
I look down at my table. "No."
"Alyssa," Dr Cox says, "why don't you join us at the kick Newbie's ass table."
Aly nods. "Gladly." She pulls a chair over from another table and joins the rest of us.
"I've really screwed this up, haven't I?" I mutter quietly to myself. "Why does Elliot think she'd have to raise the baby alone?"
Alyssa immediately raises her hand. "Can I take this one? Well, there's the fact you didn't go home last night, and then there's –"
"Yeah, I get it," I snap. "What are you doing here anyway?"
"I'm helping to clean up the mess from the fundraiser yesterday," Alyssa answers pleasantly. Then she lowers her eyebrows. "And don't snap at me! Do you really want me to kill you more violently than I'm already gonna?"
"I never meant for her to think that I wasn't going to be there. Of course I'm going to be there. How am I going to fix this?"
"Apologise," Turk says. "Profusely. And then hope for the best. That's probably all you can do."
"Yeah," Alyssa says. "She's angry at you, but more than anything she's just really scared that you've gone and done a runner. I think she'd be fine after you speak to her."
Just after Alyssa stops speaking, my pager beeps. I glance down at it, and it tells me that I need to go see one of my elderly patients. "I hope so," I say before walking out of the cafeteria.
It's a weird thing, being with someone when they're finding out whether or not they are definitely pregnant. It's weird because you know you've been there. You know how the person is feeling. It's a weird mix of excitement, hope, but there's also feeling of fear. Doubt, maybe. Fear it's not true, disbelief that it's really true. I think most people will take more than one test. Like when I found out I was pregnant with Isabella, I took two extra tests even though I knew the other two I'd taken before were correct. And I was trying to get pregnant. I was almost expecting the pregnancy; it wasn't an out of the blue situation like Elliot's dealing with right now.
Elliot's pacing back and forward in the bathroom. I know the feeling. Three minutes can feel like a really long time when you're finding out if your whole life's going to change. Even if it is for the third time, and the last two tests came back positive.
"What if JD doesn't want this baby?" Elliot asks nervously, maybe rhetorically, maybe not. I'm not particularly sure. She's still pacing back and forward.
"He will, Elliot," I say. Okay, so I don't know that, but I'm a good friend, so I'll be the optimistic one.
"How do you know, Carla?" Elliot snappily questions. "What if he doesn't?"
"He loves you, you love him. Everything will be okay, Elliot."
"What if it's not? We've only been together four months. What if this is too much too fast? We're supposed to be taking things slow. This is the complete opposite of slow."
"You can't change what's already happened, Elliot."
"What if things turn bad between us again, like they have every other time things have started to get serious?"
If you knew JD and Elliot's history, you could completely understand Elliot's fears. And I won't ever tell Elliot this, but I've been thinking the same thing myself all day. But like I said earlier, I've got to be the hopeful friend. "Elliot, that was a long time ago. You and JD have both grown up so much since then. You said it yourself the other day; the big things don't seem so scary any more."
"Yeah but when I was talking about that I wasn't expecting to find out I was pregnant the week later!" Elliot snaps. "What if he freaks out and decides that things are too serious and he breaks up with me? Everybody knows he's a commitophobe. It's an achievement that we've actually made it to four months without a crisis and survived. Everyone knows we both run at the first sign of trouble, so how the hell are we going to be able to cope with an unplanned pregnancy? And I know you want to tell me that everything will be fine because JD and I have changed and we're not still the same people we were before and everything will be fine because I love JD and JD loves me. But you know what, that doesn't make the blindest bit of difference, because I thought that once before. Remember that? It was roughly the time of your wedding when he convinced me to leave my boyfriend for him then two days later he decides he doesn't really love me? Remember that Carla? Because I do, quite vividly!" Now, Elliot's practically yelling at me. She's stressed. "What if he does that again?" Elliot's voice is calmer, but I'm not sure if her voice was maybe cracking slightly with tears. "What if, with all the added pressure of a baby, he decides that this is too much and he doesn't really love me after all?" Once she finishes speaking, Elliot turns her back to me. She stops her pacing and just puts her head in her hands.
I really don't know how to answer anything she just asked so I'll respond the best way I know how. I walk over to Elliot and give her a hug. "I know this isn't really what you want to hear right now," I say quietly, "but no matter what happens with you and JD and the baby, everything will be okay. Trust me."
Elliot sniffs (she's crying), then says, "Thank you, Carla."
The alarm on my cell phone goes off. I set the timer on my phone to let us know when the three minutes was up. "Do you want me to look?"
Elliot shakes her head. "No, thank you. I want to look at it myself." She steps towards the ledge that the test is on. She picks up the test and looks at it for a few seconds before speaking. "Yep," she says quietly. "It's positive. I'm definitely pregnant."
"You are," I repeat. "What are you going to do?"
Elliot sighs. "I'm really… not sure. I think I might go home."
"When are you going to talk to JD?"
"I don't know," Elliot replies. "I don't know how I'm even going to be able to begin that conversation."
"If you'd like, I can go talk to him for you?"
Elliot smiles. "Thank you Carla."
"It's no problem, hon. Just go home and relax; I'll take care of JD for you."
Elliot hugs me again and says. "Thank you so much, Carla. Really, for everything today."
"It's no problem."
I've been thinking a lot about Dr Cox, and Turk and even Alyssa said to me in the cafeteria. They spoke a lot of sense, but it didn't do much to calm any fears I had. I know I won't necessarily be the same father my dad was, but what if I am? What if I'm worse?
And then there's what Alyssa said about Elliot. I can't believe Elliot is worried she's going to have to raise our baby on her own. I wouldn't let that happen. I know I really haven't acted the best since yesterday, and there's no getting away from that. I can't really blame her for thinking what she is. I just hope she lets me make it up to her.
I've been looking for Elliot throughout the day, but I haven't been able to find her. I'm not sure if she's avoiding me or if she has a lot of patients. I hope she's not avoiding me. After I finish writing this patient's notes, I'll try looking for her again, even if it does mean I take some well-earned abuse.
You know what I wish? I wish I could go back to yesterday when Carla told me and instead of freaking out, I would just go straight home and this whole thing would be much better. I really don't think I could have handled this worse.
I am just writing the last little bit of information on the chart when I'm spoken to.
"JD?" The voice is soft and gentle.
"Elliot, I am so sorry about-"
Elliot raises her hand to stop me from speaking. "Don't. We can talk about that later," she says bitterly. "I just wanted to ask if you'd meet me in Coffee Bucks in an hour."
"I'll be there," I say. "Elliot, I'm sorry I didn't go home until late last night and I'm sorry I had to leave before speaking to you this morning."
Elliot smiles just slightly. "We can talk about it at home. I'll see you in an hour, okay? Please be there."
"Don't worry, I will."
Elliot walks away and I start to feel all the more guilty about the last two days.
"Okay, for the second time," I answer with exaggerated annoyance, even though I don't mind explaining so much. "I was in Mr Hannigan's room playing Go Fish - and having a rant about everything - because Dr Kelso kinda yelled at me to do some actual work. I had my phone sitting on the table just in case Carla or Kate called to update me on any developments. JD walked into the room. I ducked and hid under the bed, but forgot to pick up my phone. JD picked it up when he left the room and gave it to you. And that's how you ended up with my phone."
"Riiight," Michael says almost sarcastically. "Thanks for clearing that up."
"Shut up," I laugh. "This has been the craziest day in the history of crazy days. I'm so tired tonight." Yawn.
"Sounds like it. Hey, so are you excited you're gonna have a new baby cousin?" Michael asks.
I frown. "I haven't really though about it to be honest."
"No?"
"No. There was just so much going on today, I never gave it a thought."
"Oh well, then," Michael says. "Maybe later once everything has calmed down."
"Yeah."
Now after about 45 minutes of slow walking and I mean really slow walking), we're now standing outside my apartment block.
"You really didn't have to walk me all the way home, you know?"
"Well, no," Michael answers. "But I wanted to."
"Thank you. I guess I should go upstairs then, and get out of this costume."
Michael fake-frowns. "Aw really? You're gonna lose the fairy outfit?"
"Yeah. As glamorous as the fairy costume is, I'm looking forward to losing the fairy wings and wash all this damn glitter off myself," I say, chuckling slightly. "Aren't you looking forward to getting rid of the Superman outfit?"
"Oh hells no. I actually enjoy wearing blue tights. And I enjoy wearing pants over them. In fact, I might just wear this outfit to school on Monday."
I laugh loudly. "Oh my god, I will seriously pay you a hundred bucks if you do that! Of course, I'll have to save up a hundred bucks, but I'll still pay you it!"
"Ha ha, watch this space then!" Michael jestingly says. "So, see you later," Michael continues, giving me a hug.
"See ya later. I'll call you tomorrow night and let you know how everything goes."
I walk over to the apartment door, type my open-door-code and open the door just slightly. Before I completely walk to the apartment block, I glance back round to see Michael practically dancing up the street in his Superman outfit. What a Muppet
It doesn't even take me long to actually get to my aunt's apartment. When I get there, I open the door slowly and quietly. It's just in case JD and Elliot are still talking. I don't want to interrupt or startle them. Huh. That's weird. I'm not hearing talking. I'm hearing… crying? That can't be good. I wonder what's happened. I don't walk into the living room just yet.
"I knew it, Carla. I knew this was going to happen. I knew he'd scare like this."
"You don't know that, Elliot," Carla replies. "He might have just got caught up with an emergency at the hospital." If she was trying to sound convincing, it so did not work.
"Then why the hell hasn't he called to say so, Carla?" My aunt shrieks. "Please don't try to convince me that there's some innocent reason that he hasn't been back or called. It's been hours since you told him I was pregnant. He's gone commitophobic again, like he always does. I knew this was a mistake." There a second or two, then my aunt starts sobbing. Really loud sobbing.
I step tentatively closer to the living room, close enough so that I can just see what's going on, but my Aunt Elliot and Carla can't see me. Aunt Elliot is sitting on the couch with her head in her hands. Carla is sitting next to her.
"Hey," Carla says quietly, wrapping her arm around my aunt to give her a hug. "Don't talk like that. Whatever happens, it's going to be okay."
My aunt seems to regain her composure. She looks up at Carla. "I can't raise this baby on my own." She looks at Carla for a second more before breaking down again and resting her head in her hands.
Carla hugs my aunt again. "It's gonna be okay," she repeats quietly.
Wow. This is really bad.
It's been an hour since I spoke with Elliot. As I walk through the Coffee Bucks, I notice how busy it is. There's hardly a free table anywhere. I look around for Elliot. When I see her she waves, and I walk over to the table.
"Hey," I say quietly.
"Hey," Elliot repeats. She looks up at me and smiles just a little. "I got you coffee," she says, sliding the cup across the table. "I got myself tea since, you know, I apparently can't drink coffee anymore. I just… I can't believe this."
"Me neither."
And that's as far as that conversation goes, because before we can speak any more, Turk and Carla walk over to our table.
"Do you mind if we take these two seats?" Turk asks. "There are no other free seats."
"Sure, go ahead," Elliot answers.
"So how are you both doing now?" Carla asks sympathetically.
"We're talking, which is a start, I guess," Elliot says, with a mix of joking and seriously.
"I think, really, we're both still shell-shocked about this," I continue.
"Yeah, I mean, we're supposed to be taking things slow," Elliot says. Then she looks right at me. "What happened to taking things slow?"
"Uh, I hate to break it to you guys," Turk utters, "but you guys have not been taking things slowly."
"What?" Elliot and I ask at the same time.
"Yeah. Let me ask you this, JD," Turk says. "When was the last time you stayed at your own apartment?"
"Um…" Wow, I actually have to think about this. I glance over to Elliot, who seems to be thinking hard too. "It was probably when your parents were here," I say quietly to Elliot, but Turk and Carla probably heard it too.
"And how long ago was that?" Carla asks.
"Only about three, four weeks ago," Elliot answers. "That's not so weird."
"Uh-huh," Turk mumbles. "And when did you last stay at your own apartment before that?"
"Uh…"
"Exactly!" Turk exclaims. "It's been that long you can't remember."
Carla nods. "Turk's right. You two practically live together already."
"No we don't!" Elliot and I protest.
"Yeah you do," Turk argues. "Haven't you noticed that if I'm looking for you I just call Elliot's place?"
"I thought I just happened to be at Elliot's when you call."
Turk shakes his head. "Nope. I call Elliot's because you're always there."
"You do spend most of your time at mine," Elliot says, looking at me. "And you even have your important mail redirected to my place. Thinking about it, we have been moving kinda fast."
"Yeah, you have," Carla says in her know-it-all tone.
"You know," Elliot continues, "you were the one who told us to take things slow. Why didn't you say anything to us if you saw we were going too fast?"
"I was gonna," Carla answers. "But whatever you two had going on seemed to be working for you and you were happy, so I didn't say anything."
"Well, maybe you should have," Elliot quietly says, staring into her teacup.
"Hey," I say soothingly, taking a hold of Elliot's hand. "I know everything's scary and confusing, but it's going to be okay. We'll figure this out, okay?"
"Okay."
"What you guys are feeling is completely normal," Carla explains. "In a little while, once the initial shock wears off, I bet you'll feel differently."
"You think so?" Elliot asks.
"Yeah."
Then my pager beeps and I glance down at it. "Dammit. I have to go," I say as stand up. "What time are you off?" I ask Elliot.
"In about an hour. You?"
"Not until five. Talk at home, okay?"
Elliot frowns. "Promise me you're coming home tonight?"
"I promise," I say softly, before kissing Elliot on the lips. "I'll be home just after five."
"You better be."
Holy crap. Last night was just… there are no words to even describe it. Weird just doesn't cut it. Neither does horrible. I sat up with my aunt until after eleven last night, waiting to see if JD would actually show up. You guessed it. He didn't. Jerk. The next time I see him, I may kill him on my aunt's behalf.
Carla stayed for a few hours too. I think she could be just as angry as I am with JD, even if she wasn't showing it as much as I was. And I think my aunt was too shocked/devastated/exhausted to really express her anger. She stayed up way past eleven though. She said she wanted to stay up a little bit longer to see if he would come back. She's still asleep on the couch. She must have got that blanket from her room. I feel so bad for her, but I don't think it's completely hit her yet what's going on.
I could seriously kill JD the next time I see him. You know, providing Carla doesn't kill him first. He really is an asshole. It's a shame though, because I did like him. And I actually thought that him and my aunt Elliot might have been perfect for each other, even though I'm a total cynic and I don't really believe in that. I just can't believe he would do that to her, you know? That being said, however, from what Carla said last night, JD and Elliot have had somewhat of a chequered past.
In about ten minutes., I have to go to the hospital. All the volunteers have to go. We're clearing up after the fundraiser and helping to calculate the total. Do you think JD might be there so I can murder him? No?
I exit the bathroom, having just brushed my teeth. I'm careful to step quietly so as I don't wake my aunt up.
"Morning," Aunt Elliot says tiredly from behind me. Apparently I didn't need to worry about waking her up.
"Morning," I repeat. "How you feeling?"
"I don't know. Tired. Confused."
What do you answer to that?
"Are you going to the hospital?" My aunt asks, looking round at me.
"Yeah, we've got to clear up after the fundraiser," I answer. "Are you off work today?"
"No, I'm going in. I start at ten," Aunt Elliot says. "I guess I'm gonna have to prepare for taking care of a kid on my own with one wage now, huh?"
You try thinking of a good answer to that. "Well, uh… I have to leave now. Or Kelso will yell at me for being late. I'll maybe see you at the hospital," I say.
"Yeah. See you later."
After my aunt speaks, I walk out of the apartment.
Jeez. I really hope this gets better. Somehow.
It's half past five, and I'm just home. Relax, I have a perfectly reasonable excuse. I open the door to the apartment quietly, so as not to potentially startle Elliot.
"Hello," I say at a normal volume of voice. "I'm home."
Elliot, who is sitting on the couch, exhales a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank God. What the hell took you so long? I was beginning to think you'd run off again!"
I lift up a brown paper KFC bag. "I stopped off for food. Thought you might be hungry," I add, handing the bag to Elliot.
"Aw, that's so sweet," Elliot smiles as she rummages through the bag. "Oh, hot wings!" she enthusiastically mutters as she pulls out the box of hot wings. "Thanks for these."
I chuckle. "Don't even mention it. Listen… about last night-"
"Yeah, where did you go?" Elliot asks, her voice muffled thanks to the chicken wing in her mouth.
"God only knows," I answer quickly. "I honestly didn't know where I was going all the time. I just went where my legs took me."
Elliot giggles. "Yeah but where did you go?"
"Well, first I went to the bar. I just sat in one of the booths for like… an hour, thinking about what I was going to say to you. And then I got half way home from that bar before I ended up at the mall."
Lowering her eyebrows, Elliot asks: "The mall? Why?"
"I really don't know. It's just where I ended up," I say quietly. "But I'm kinda glad I did, because I've got something to show you."
"What?"
"Let me get it." I stand up, leaving Elliot with a rather bewildered look on her face. I go into the bedroom and fetch a bag that I put in a drawer last night and go back through to the living room.
Instead of still being sat on the couch, Elliot is in her kitchenette. "I wanted to get the chicken grease off of my hands."
I glance at the hot wings box. The empty hot wings box. "How long was I through there?" ask incredulously, but jokingly. "There were still two wings in there when I left!"
"Yeah, I was pretty hungry," Elliot laughs. "So what did you want to show me?"
Without answering Elliot, I unwrap what I'm going to show her. Once I have it fully unwrapped from the tissue paper-y covering that encases it, I hold up the little onesie that I bought last night.
"Wow," Elliot says quietly, looking at the little onesie. She walks closer towards me and says, "That's… it's gorgeous. And it's so small. Did you get this last night?"
"Yeah. I had to convince the shop girl to stay open an extra ten minutes to let my buy it. I just… I was wandering around the mall because I was freaking out and then I saw the front of this-"
Elliot looks down at the fluffy onesie and reads the writing on it. "My mommy and daddy love me." Elliot doesn't say anything else, but she just looks up at me and I'm not sure if her eyes are filling up.
"Seeing that just sort of… put thing in perspective for me," I say, while Elliot still looks at the onesie, occasionally running her hand over it. "I mean, I was completely freaking out and I saw this and it just brought me back to reality. I was looking at it and I could just see this little baby wearing it and wriggling around and laughing. And he looked like us. I thought to myself 'Okay, you know what, there's no use freaking out about this. It's happening. It's unexpected, but it's happening.'"
Elliot smiles up at me. "I know what you mean. All of yesterday I was just so scared about what was going to happen and if you were going to want this baby. I wondered if this was even what I wanted. I began thinking this was a mistake. And then when you didn't come home last night, I started panicking and then I convinced myself that you weren't ever coming back and that you didn't want the baby. And… I'm really ashamed to say this… it almost crossed my mind to get rid of the baby," Elliot says, looking down at the ground. "So I called Carla and she came over to speak to me and she managed to talk me off my metaphorical ledge and convinced me that you would be coming home; you were just freaking out a bit. After she went away and I thought a lot to myself and thought about the tiny little baby that's apparently growing inside of me and I realised that this was what I wanted. Okay, it wasn't happening the way I always thought it would, but that doesn't matter as much. And then, in the morning when I saw your note saying you were at work, I was strangely happy because I knew you'd been back. I wanted to be angry with you for not coming home. But when I saw you in the patient's room and I saw that you had come back, I was just relieved."
"I am so sorry that I made you think like that. I would never have done that, never come home eventually. I was really freaking out last night."
"You and me both," Elliot chuckles. Then she yawns.
"Tired?" I ask.
"Yeah," Elliot answers. "It's been… it's been a rough couple of days."
When Elliot stops speaking, I wrap my arms around her shoulders. Elliot pulls her feet on to the couch and rests her head on my chest. She's still holding on to the onesie.
Almost without thinking about it, I place my hand on Elliot's stomach and say, "We're going to have a baby."
Elliot smiles just a little. "We are. Think we'll be able to manage this?"
"We'll get there."
AN: Congratualtions if you made it this far! It was 34 pages on my microsoft word. Thanks for reading, and I'd really appreciate it if you'd let me know what you think of it. Thanks.