I apologize for the delay in getting this chapter out. It was a bit of a pain to write. Thank you to the people who reviewed, I'm so glad that you like it thus far. I will try to update a bit sooner next time. Lol. Writers block willing.

Also, I am trying to be as historically accurate as I can be however there may be holes in my research. So if you find something that isn't right please let me know so that I can make the necessary changes.

Standard Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Vampire Diaries, however I do own Rosalie and I do own this story. All ideas and writing here is completely mine.

~o~o~o~

Quiet Beauty

Bewildered_Lily

Chapter Three

~o~o~o~

Dear Diary, June, 26th 1545

I met the Salvatore's today. What a strange experience it was.

Father was in one of his moods, as you already know, he's not too fond of me. I tried to be on my best behavior, but nothing I did seemed to please him.

Of course, nothing I do EVER pleases father.

Signore Salvatore seemed to be a nice enough man however. He smiled at me and told me I was quite the young lady. I have to admit, I was hard pressed to find any fault with him after that.

It wasn't Signore Salvatore or my father that made the day so strange however, it was in fact his two sons:

Damon and Stefan Salvatore

They are completely different in almost every way. Stefan is shy and not quick to speak, while Damon is confident and charming. The first thing he did upon meeting me was to grasp my hand and kiss it. Can you believe it? I think perhaps, he is what my father likes to call a rogue. It must have been that because for some odd reason the moment his lips traced against the skin of my hand, I felt a shiver of something race up my spine.

Perhaps I'm becoming ill.

Damon is three years older than I am, and Stefan is older than me only by a year. I find that I enjoy Stefan's company greatly. After the initial introductions were over, father allowed the boys to show me the grounds. Stefan immediately volunteered to be my guide and he showed me all the fun places to play around the estate. Damon tagged along as well, tossing in his own comments here and there. He stuck pretty close to me, which seemed to bother Stefan.

Oh, that's the strangest thing of all, diary.

Damon and Stefan seem to dislike each other very much, though they are brothers. For every helpful remark Stefan had, Damon had an equally sarcastic reply. I almost believe the only reason Damon came along at all is because he knew it would get on Stefan's nerves somehow. And though I just met them, at times I felt rather like the rope in a game of tug rope. By the time dinner was announced, I was pretty worn just from trying to keep things civil.

All in all, I don't really know what to make of either of them. However, I cannot wait until tomorrow. Some how, I have been invited to join both Damon and Stefan for their daily lessons. I think this is perhaps a plot that father and Signore Salvatore cooked up, for what purpose I don't know. And I haven't the faintest clue how Signore Salvatore managed to convince my father to allow me to be taught along side a couple of boys, but I won't complain. I love to learn after all.

~o~o~o~

Dear Diary, June 26th, 1546

It's been exactly one year since I started my lessons with the Salvatore brothers. I adore it. Those precious hours are the absolute best in my day. I don't know what I would do with myself if I did not have those lessons to look forward to. As it is, there are times I feel that I will always be alone.

Father has been away for a while now. He has business in Venice and it keeps him away for long stretches of time. I am left with nothing but the servants and the Salvatore's for company. Though, in truth, I do not mind that he is away so much. At least then I am free from the guilt I feel whenever he is around. Guilt that I am somehow lacking in something so important that my own father cannot bring himself to love me.

Every single time he looks at me, I feel that he is searching for something, what he searches for, I do not know. However, he never finds it, and then I have to endure that look of disgust before he turns away and dismisses me yet again. No, it is much better for me that he ignores me.

I did find out, finally, why it is my father allowed me to attend tutoring with the Salvatore's. Signore Salvatore told me himself.

It would seem that my father had been originally against me learning anything useful in life (a fact that I know only too well), but Signore Salvatore had convinced my father that an education would only be to my improvement. He told my father that an uneducated woman was a dull woman, and even went so far as to point out that my own mother had been quite an educated woman herself, though most women of our station can't even write their own names let alone read it.

My father remained unconvinced, until Signore Salvatore hinted that I would also be able to spend a lot of time with his sons. This convinced him almost immediately of course, as it is common knowledge that both my father and Signore Salvatore wish me to marry one of the brothers. Why, I would already be betrothed to one of them if Signore Salvatore hadn't insisted that I be allowed to at least discover for myself if I liked one of them.

Yes, diary, it would seem that I am to be wed to one of the Salvatore brothers. Can you even conceive of it?

Oh, I suppose that they are both quite handsome, especially Damon, who is by all accounts almost beautiful. However, he's also a cad and a notorious flirt. Every day I watch him flirting with the servant girls, and every day the flirting seems to get more outrageous. He's also got a penchant for gambling with the stable boys. I heard it from Stefan that he is down at the stables twice a week. Could you imagine being married to someone that uncouth?

Alright, perhaps I'm not being fair. He isn't all bad. Well, not bad at all really. Though he isn't one for revealing himself too often, there are times when he is unguarded with me. He also seems to be right where I need him, whenever I need him. And sometimes, I find his eyes on me, although that may be just in my imagination. The truth is that though I have known Damon for over a year now, he is still somewhat of a stranger to me, and I find myself too shy to really open up with him, the way I have with Stefan.

As for Stefan, I don't even WANT to imagine that. Stefan is like a brother to me. Oh, he is handsome and courteous, and always polite with me. However, I find his way of brooding almost maddening sometimes. It's not to say he is a weakling because he isn't. No, it's more that he takes too much to heart. Damon will say some idiotic thing to him, some comment that is blatantly made to get under Stefan's skin, and though its happened innumerable times, Stefan always lets it bother him. At times, all I want to do is give him a hard shake and tell him that Damon is only doing it to get a response, so quit giving him one already!

No, I can't possibly marry one of the Salvatore brother's, diary. I cannot possibly marry at all! Boys are just too confusing.

~o~o~o~

Dear Diary, August, 13th 1550

I'm in love with Damon.

Oh God, how could I allow such a thing to happen?

What's more frightening, is that I now believe that I might have always been in love with him, only I was content to not know it.

How could I have fallen in love with Damon of all people? He is the absolute worst with women. Haven't I watched him flirt with everything in a skirt for the past five years? And yet here I am, madly in love.

However, he truly is the kindest man I have ever met. Though it took some time to understand him, once I did understand, it was there for me to see as clear as day.

Underneath all that sarcasm and teasing beats a heart that is truer than any I have ever known. I know without a shadow of doubt that the woman, who does finally win his heart, will have it for the rest of her days. And oh Gods, I want that woman to be me.

I don't know how it happened, I don't even know exactly when. However, over the past five years his presence in my life has become irreplaceable. I can't imagine not being able to talk with him or laugh with him.

I still remember the first day he opened up to me. It was that day I fell from the olive tree and hurt my leg. The moment I hit the ground, I was swept up into his arms. He carried me from the orchard to the house as if I weighed no more than air. I hadn't even known he was there, watching as I reached to pluck an olive from a branch that was just out of my reach and lost my footing. Why, he was there faster than Stefan was, and Stefan was only a few branches away.

It was that summer though, while I lay in bed waiting for my leg to heal, that Damon finally let me in. He'd sit with me for hours talking to me or reading to me from one of my favorite books of poetry. It was during one of those talks that he told me of his jealousy towards Stefan, how Signore Salvatore expected so much from him and how he wanted very much to be able to fulfill his duty, but never seemed to get it as quickly as Stefan seemed to. He told me how he felt that Stefan should have been the first born, as he was far better than him at managing the estate.

I told him how my own father couldn't stand the sight of me because I wasn't an exact copy of my dear mother. That I figured out the thing that displeased my father every time he looked at me was the fact that I would never be as beautiful as my mother once was.

He let me in diary and I believe perhaps from that moment on, I knew that I wanted to be the one he confided in always. I wanted to be the one to know him as no one else has ever known him.

I don't know why it took me so long to see it. Five years, three since that summer, and its only now that I realize how dear he is to me.

It happened this morning. I went to visit with them, after I managed the household duties, as I always do. (Father hasn't been home in almost two years. I believe there is a woman he visits in Venice, and though I mean nothing to him, I hope that she brings him the happiness he's been lacking since my mother's death.) I had no sooner walked into the drawing room when Stefan had informed me that Damon will be leaving for University in a fortnight. It was as if the air had been sucked out of the room. I couldn't help it, I started to cry.

Yes, as appalling as that is, I could not stop the flood of tears. Thankfully, Damon was not present to watch me lose complete control of myself, and of course Stefan knew exactly what was wrong with me. After comforting me, he very casually turned to me and asked me how long I'd been in love with Damon. For which, I immediately told him he had lost his mind and had no idea what he was talking about. And then at precisely that moment, Damon walked in.

Time seemed to stop, diary. He stopped in the doorway and there was a look on his face that I shall never forget. For a moment, he just studied me, watched as I tried to hide my distress and all the while there was that look, that indecipherable look on his handsome face, and in that instant everything seemed to click into place. I knew that I was and had always been in love with him, and to my horror, I think he knows it.

For the first time in three years, I feel uncertain around him. I struggle to hide what I feel because I fear losing him. If he does in fact know what my feelings are towards him, I can only believe that the reason he has never acted on them is because he does not feel the same for me. Of course, he would not want to hurt my feelings, I know him well enough to know that even if he is not in love with me he still cares for me.

As much as it pains me, I feel that perhaps his leaving is for the best right now. I know he will return, and by then maybe I will know what I am supposed to do, if I should tell him my feelings or bury them inside of myself so that he may never know it. Or maybe if he does feel something for me, this time apart will allow him the time to figure out what his own next step will be.

I am so uncertain of everything. The only thing that I do know for sure is that I do not want to lose him. If I have to, I will hide my feelings of love so far inside myself that no one will ever guess it is there, if it means that I can at least remain his friend.

But Dear God, I love him so very much. How will I bear it if he does not feel the same for me?

~o~o~o~

Dear Diary, April 20th 1551

How can life be so cruel? How can I go on knowing the things that I now know?

Damon is in love with another.

Shortly after Damon left for University, a girl around my age came to stay in the Salvatore household.

Her name is Katherine.

She is breathtakingly beautiful. Her hair is as golden as the sun, and her eyes an almost luminous blue. She is every man's fantasy of what a woman ought to be, I am sure.

In manner, she is bright and amiable and somehow she wields this power over the Salvatore men, a power I now know I could not hope to compete with. Even Signore Salvatore seems taken with her (though in a wholly different way).

Since her arrival, I have faded into the background. It is like I don't even exist anymore, as if I am a mere shadow. Oh, they are as polite and agreeable as they always have been, but no longer is my company sought after, no longer am I the one they both confide in.

And my Damon, I feel him slipping away a little more every day. He no longer speaks to me as he used to, though he is still affectionate, I am more of a sister to him than a lover. Whatever might have been between us before Katherine's arrival has now faded into nothing. And I am left alone yet again.

The worst of it is that Stefan is in love with her as well. The strain between Damon and Stefan has reached new heights. In fact, I believe that if they continue the way they have been, they will despise one another. I have tried to caution Katherine on this matter, but she laughs at me and pretends she does not know what I speak of.

I know she lies to me!

As 'well mannered' as she appears to be, I have no illusion that she knows precisely what game she is playing. The more I watch the way she pits those two against one another, the more I realize that she is ENJOYING herself!

The farther apart she manages to drive them, the more delighted she seems to be. How could anyone find such pleasure in ruining the relationship between two brothers?

I am also inclined to believe that she knows of my feelings towards Damon, for it seems she takes great pleasure in flaunting his infatuation with her whenever I am near. If she is there, I am lucky if Damon will even glance in my direction.

I am in agony, diary. I feel so powerless and so utterly invisible. My heart races whenever I see his beloved face, and yet to him, I am nothing. How do I endure this? How do I pretend that all is well with me, when every hope and dream I have had is now dead? What is to become of me?

~o~o~o~

Dear Diary, July 2nd, 1551

Katherine is a monster!

Last night, the Salvatore's threw a ball in Katherine's honor. You see, she's always been a rather sickly girl, but miraculously, her health has improved greatly over the last few weeks.

Or so I believed it was miraculous.

During the ball, I watched her slip away with one of the male guests. Damon and Stefan, who never leave her side, were entangled in a discussion with their father, so they did not see her leave.

I know it was wrong of me, but I did not like the look she had on her face as she led the man away, so I followed.

I followed her down into the gardens, normally one of my favorite places in the Salvatore home, however as I walked over those familiar grounds I felt a sense of dread welling up inside of me. I almost turned back, but I feared that perhaps the gentleman might try to take advantage of their solitude. It would not be right of me to leave her alone, defenseless.

It shocked me, when I came upon them leaning up against one of the nearby trees, hidden in the shadows. At first, I believed that the man was taking advantage of the poor girl, so in my haste I rushed forward to try and assist her only to discover that it was she, Katherine who had the man pressed against the tree, and she had her face buried in his neck.

My shock was so that at first I believed it was nothing more than a lover's embrace (of course this too was shocking in and of itself), however I must have made a noise, some sound to announce my presence.

When Katherine glanced up at me, her mouth was covered in blood.

She'd been drinking from that poor man's neck!

If that wasn't already beyond belief, when she realized I'd been watching, she smiled at me! Her eyes seemed to gleam in the glow of the moonlight, and she laughed at my horror!

"Silly Rosalie, it's not safe to be wandering around in the dark," she'd giggled at me and to me at that very moment, she seemed almost insane! There was madness to her that I had never before seen.

Very casually she did something to the man's neck, and then carelessly let him fall to the ground. He made no sound, and I feared that she had killed him.

As if she could read my mind she laughed yet again and assured me that he wasn't dead, that she'd only wanted a little snack before returning to the ball and her devoted guests.

I know I should have screamed; I should have done something besides stand there like a fool. However, as frightened as I was, my first thoughts were for Damon and Stefan, Those two men, who are dearer to me than anyone else in my life. They were in love with this creature, and I needed to know if she meant them harm. Even amidst the panic, I needed to make sure they were safe.

However, when I asked her what she meant to do to them, she smiled at me cruelly. Quicker than I had ever seen anything move, she had me pinned to the ground. She laughed at my fear, and told me that I was not to worry about Damon or Stefan any more. She told me that they belonged to her, and that I had no power to take them back.

I wanted to deny it, wanted to struggle against it, and the words were on the tip of my tongue when my worst nightmare came to pass.

Damon appeared as if from nowhere. He pulled Katherine from me, embracing her as she struggled to come at me again. His eyes pierced me, and his regard of me was so cold and barren of all its normal warmth towards me. It was as if he was looking at a complete stranger.

"Leave us," he ordered. "You are to forget everything you saw tonight, it never happened."

I begged him to explain to me what was going on, how he could know what Katherine was and still ask me to leave.

And then he said them. The words I'd dreaded since Katherine had appeared in our lives and ruined everything. Deep inside, I'd already known, but some small part of me wanted to believe it was merely a passing fancy.

"I have known what she is for quite some time now, Rosalie," he stated, and the words bit into my soul, ripping me apart from the inside. "But I love her, I love Katherine and it doesn't matter to me what she is. If you reveal what she is to anyone, I will kill you myself."

God help me, I can still remember the look in his eyes as he said those words to me. I didn't know what to do. For one endless moment, we stood, watching each other. All the years we had known one another, the friendship we had built. In that moment, I felt them break apart like pieces of fragile glass, or perhaps it was merely the shattered edges of what was left of my own heart. Nothing was ever going to fix the rift that had opened up between us, and I knew it absolutely. Katherine had succeeded. She'd destroyed everything.

It was the cruel smile I saw playing on her lips as she watched me struggle not to lose myself to my grief that finally urged me into action. I turned from them and I ran as far as my legs could carry me. I don't know how I made it to my carriage, or how I made it home again.

I write this entry now because I had not the strength to do it last night. I sit alone in my room now. I have not slept, I have not eaten. The servants are worried; I can hear the faint sound of their chatter as they walk down the halls. However, I haven't the strength to care anymore.

I have lost him. I have lost Damon.

I cannot bare the pain. I cannot erase the look on his face as he forsook all that was between us, for that monster.

I am truly lost.

~o~o~o~

Dear Diary, July 30th, 1551

Damon is dead.

I've had the news from one of the servants' only moments ago.

Damon and Stefan are dead, my beloved and my best friend, dead by each others hand.

They say that Katherine took her own life, and the brother's, so in agony over her death lost their minds and went for each other.

I cannot breathe.

Why has it turned out like this? How could everything have gone so wrong? Wasn't it only yesterday that the three of us were laughing and playing as children? Wasn't it not too long ago that I was falling in love? How did it end up like this?

I never got the chance to say goodbye.

I haven't left this room since that night at the ball, haven't had the strength to move. Even now, I know I should go to Signore Salvatore and offer my condolences, but there is no strength left in me. There is nothing left for me to fight for.

He left me. He left me alone. How could he? How could he abandon me? How could he throw away his life for the sake of that woman? How could he, when I have been here loving him with every ounce of my strength, never asking him for anything in return?

Is my love that worthless? Am I so unwanted, undesirable that no matter how deeply or how truly I love, it is so easily thrown away?

I have nothing left, there is nothing left of me.

~o~o~o~

Dear Diary, August, 13th 1551

I am dying.

It takes all my strength to write this entry, but there is no one else to hear my last words, no one left.

They have sent a letter to my father in Venice, where he now resides with his mistress, but I know it will not reach him in time. I doubt it would matter even if it did. He has never loved me, never cared for me, the daughter who is a failure to him in every respect.

This is not what I wish to write about however.

I had a dream last evening.

I dreamed that Damon came to me in the night.

He sat upon my bed, with my hand in his. The look on his face was filled with such sorrow I know it could only have been a dream. My Damon would never show such naked emotion on his beautiful face.

I asked him if he truly hated me, but regretted the question as soon as it left my mouth; as his features became so troubled.

"I could never hate you," he whispered to me bringing my hand to his lips and planting a kiss on my palm."Forgive me for making you believe it was so."

I could not stand the pain on his face, so I laughed and asked him if he remembered that he'd done something similar the day we first met.

"Yes, you were my little Rosalie from that moment onward," he replied teasingly.

I wanted to tell him how much I loved him, how I had loved him from that very first moment, how he had been my Damon from that moment onward, but the words did not come. I believe some part of me was afraid that those words would only cause him more pain.

"I miss you," I whispered instead. "I wanted very much to see you one last time before I go."

He held me then, diary. One moment I was lying in my bed gazing up at his dear face, and the next I was cradled so close to him, I could feel his breath fluttering the strands of my hair.

I don't know what expression he was wearing then, for I hadn't the strength to even lift my head to find his face. I think perhaps I cried then, great gasping sobs of grief and loss and love. To finally be in his arms after yearning for it for so long, it was heaven and hell all wrapped up into one little moment.

All the while, he held me; his hand had found its way to my hair, burrowed into the strands and cradled my head to him as if he would never let me go.

I felt myself beginning to drift away, knew even in the dream that soon I would wake up and he'd be gone, though I grasped his shirt to me as tight as I could in an effort to stop it, I knew soon the dream would end.

"Damon," I sighed as the abyss began to drag me back down, understanding that these were my last moments with him. "I love you. I will always love you."

I heard his harshly indrawn breath as if it were miles away. Mustering up the last of my strength I turned to look at his beloved face one last time. And oh Gods, on his face was that look he'd had so long ago, that day I'd realized I loved him.

"I will find you again, Damon," I promised breathlessly, my eyes closing at last. "No matter how many lifetimes it takes, I will find you and when I do I will never leave you again, even if you can never love me back, I will never ever leave you again. This I vow to you."

I felt his lips brush against mine just for the barest second, and then he was whispering something against them urgently, but I could not grasp them. The darkness had me, and I was too far to hear them.

This morning when I awoke, I expected to feel nothing but the heavy burden of grief and despair I've been so close to these past weeks. However, when the sun kissed my face, and I recalled those beautiful moments in the dream, I felt only peace.

I know not what that dream meant. If it was some message from Damon from the other side, or if it was merely the last remnants of my wishful heart conjuring his image before I leave this world. It does not matter; I will carry it with me till the last breath leaves my body.

Goodbye, dear diary, I know I shall never write here again. I have used the last of my strength to pen this entry, wanting to put the beauty of that dream down on paper, hoping that by writing it on something physical, the Universe or God might see it and know it is real. That the promise I made in that dream might somehow come to pass, and I will one day see my Damon once again.

So let it be written here for all the world to see and acknowledge.

I Rosalie DeMarco, daughter of Silvia and Giovanni DeMarco lived. And in this life and all the ones that may follow I loved Damon Salvatore with all of my strength and all of my soul.

~o~o~o~

Phew! Damn that was a difficult chapter to write. So here it is. I know that there are probably a million and one mistakes, however I wanted to post this as soon as I finished writing it because of the long delay in getting it out. I will most likely be going through it in a few days and making the needed corrections, but for now you have your update.

I realize the fact that it is in diary form might be a little confusing (though I hope not), however I have chosen to write it this way because I want you to know who Rosalie DeMarco was at the very heart of her, I want you to understand how deeply she did love Damon. In later chapters, we will find out the other nitty gritty details, but for now this is all I want you to know.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it took quite a bit of working and reworking to get it down on paper the way I wanted it.

As always, please review and thank you for reading. =)