What was he thinking?
Chapter 17: Meet Jacob's fist
Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fanfiction.
AN: thanks to furyangoddess for betaing - and inspiring me to write in the first place
I wake up on the lounge before dawn and think I should get the fuck out of Dodge. I can't risk going upstairs. I can't even write her a note. Stupid fucking orders.
I head back to the rez and go to the beach for a swim to clear my head. I sleep for a few hours in a hollow behind the sand dunes. I feel much better. Thank the fuck for not having hangovers, but now I have blown all my savings. Maybe I could have bought Bella a present or something, might have been a better way to spend my money.
I am still thinking about that when I walk out of the forest behind my house and meet Jacob's fist. What the fuck?
He is furious. He is screaming at me that he knew I was up to something.
"What the fuck Jake?"
"I was on patrol last night," he screams at me, "You phased - I saw you hurt her."
I'm confused. Oh fuck no, he saw me remember the kitchen incident. Fuck me I am dead.
"It's not what you think Jake," I try to tell him, but because of the fucking order I made Sam give me to not discuss it with the pack, I can't tell him she is my imprint.
Cluster fuck – yep Sam was right. He told me I would fuck it up all by myself.
"Ask her Jake, ask her," I am screaming but he just smacks me in the face hard enough to break my nose. Boy, now I am wishing he had Bella's mobile number. Blood is gushing everywhere and I firmly believe I may be about to die. I try to send Bella my love.
Then he starts on me. He is just giving off waves of alpha wolf power and I would have trouble fighting him even if I wanted to do so. I have taken beatings before, but not from a very pissed off werewolf. I don't think he will actually kill me. I know the best thing to do is wait it out and try to protect myself. I curl up and try to protect my vital organs. Thank the fuck he doesn't phase, he would tear me apart without a second thought. He loves Bella, I never realised quite how much until now. He may beat me up again later when he finds out about the imprint.
He is working solidly on my face when I think I hear Bella's truck; I must be hallucinating. I hear my arm break. Fuck, that hurt.
Then I hear her voice. She is screaming at him to leave me alone. I think I might cry.
"Jake!" she screams at him, "Stop!"
He says something, I don't care what anymore.
"Jake, what the hell are you doing?" That's my girl.
He tells her and hits me again. Ouch.
Bella is still screaming. Oh now she's screaming at Embry and Quil. Help me baby, please.
"Jake if you hit him again I will never speak to you ever again," she says. "You will put him down and you will not hit him again." Jake didn't move. "So help me Jake if you love me, let him go." Wow, that got his attention.
Oh thank the fuck; I can breathe for a second. Ouch no I can't, he's broken my ribs. I think I will just sit here for a minute. Not falling over is the best I can manage at the moment.
There is silence until I hear Sam and Quil came running around the corner.
Sam asks Jake what is going on.
"This piece of shit hurt Bella," Jacob is so angry he can barely get the words out.
"Bella?" asks Sam.
"I don't know what Jacob thinks he saw, but Paul has never hurt me," Bella says. Well I made you scream, but that doesn't count.
"He phased last night and I saw him remember slamming your head into the kitchen cupboards!"
"Jake we were having sex," she almost whispers it at him. Oh baby, now is not the time to be embarrassed about sex words. I have got to break her out of that, and fast.
"Sex?" poor Jake, he so wanted to be there first. Sorry man.
"Yeah, it was a bit rough but I was right there with him. You couldn't see that? We've been having sex for weeks. Not that it is really anybody's business…," she pauses, "…but it appears that it is."
"I am glad you are here Sue, as a council representative. I want some answers," Bella says.
Excellent a council witness to my shame. My day is just getting better and better.
Sneaky Bella has been moving slowly closer and finally she reaches me. I lean on her leg and whimper; fuck me – I whimper. Baby I hurt all over. And then my smart girl puts it all together.
"Perhaps Sam would like to explain why he gave an Alpha order to Paul to stay way from his imprint?" She sounds so sure of herself, I could kiss her.
"Imprint?" Jake is devastated; he lets out a roar. I swear I hear his heart break. How he didn't phase, I sure as hell don't know.
I hear someone else arrive; I am having trouble seeing out of my eyes. Is it Leah? – fuck no.
"Dude," Quil breathes, "That sucks." Yeah; poor Jacob.
"I want that order lifted," demands Bella.
"Done," says Sam. Lift the other one too Sam; I might have been able to tell Jake before he rearranged my face, if not for that stupid order. Cluster fuck, yeah yeah I know, already.
"Five days he lasted; before he damn near killed himself to fight the order and come to me. Thank God he did because I was seriously in trouble too," Bella says. "I should think you would know how much pain that would cause us both Sam. Why do you doubt the strength of our imprint; not good enough compared to yours?" Ouch baby. Sam is on our side; well at least he tries to be.
"Paul? Care to explain?" Sam asks me.
Order Sam; can't talk because of the fucking order. Assuming I could say anything anyway. I must make some kind of noise. He ignores me anyway.
"It happened months ago," Sam explains. "We were following Jacob, waiting for him to phase. He saw you one day at the rez and imprinted. But he fought it; he hated you; the girl who ran with vampires; the 'leech lover'. He was so angry. He made me give him an order not to admit to it, so the pack wouldn't know. He stayed away from you. He threw himself into bed with any woman that would take him. I started to doubt that he had imprinted. How he could do that to himself, I didn't know."
Jeez thanks Sam, it sounds pretty bad when you put it like that.
"Sorry Paul," Sam realised, "I have to lift the first order too, you can't talk about it."
No-one says anything for a minute. Sam continues, "Then you confronted us, that day with Jake. He was still so angry with you. He was in your face and you slapped him; his imprint slapped him. Any wonder he lost control and phased in front of you? But it seemed like you were unaffected by him. Maybe you hated him too? And then he opens his door one day to find you...," he pauses for a second, "... and you ask him to have sex with you."
No; that sound right there; that was the sound of Jake's heart breaking. Sorry buddy.
"How did you know that?" Bella asks. Shit baby he could smell it. He got a big whiff of fresh cream you.
"I forced him to tell me. I knew he had been denying you but I could smell you all over him." Thanks Sam.
I can feel Bella's distress so I rub her leg. She pats me on the head. Good dog.
"But after a week or so the council instructed me to order him to leave you alone. He wasn't to go see you or to speak to you and you were not to be alone with him. The pack still didn't know about the imprint, " Sam adds.
Yeah, I want to know why the hell the council did that. Please explain Sue.
Bella asks, "So what is the council's excuse? Am I not good enough for him? Is he not good enough for me? I know I'm not good enough for Jake. What on earth would make the council interfere in an imprinting? I thought imprinting was the sacred cow of the pack." And those are all very good questions baby. So answers now, please Sue.
Sue answers her, "The council didn't believe he had imprinted either. It was impossible for him to behave like that with other women if he really had imprinted. It was unheard of. We thought it might not be real." Everybody doubts me; except my girl.
Sue continued, "But there was another issue. The vampires; one was seen near La Push."
"Which vampires?" Bella is tense.
"The Cullens," Sue adds.
"One of the Cullens? Which one?" I hear her panic; she thinks it might be Fuckward.
"The little one; the girl," supplies Embry.
"Alice? And none of you told me? I thought you were my friends?" and that was the sound of Bella's heart cracking. I hug her leg. I can't speak yet, otherwise I'd tell her the pack love her. This is stupid tribal politics fucking it up for everyone. I bet she is half frightened it was Edward; half relieved it was not.
"We thought you might go back to them; share the pack secrets," says Sue. What secrets? That is the dumbest excuse I have ever heard. Secrets? How the big bad Alpha Sam gets bossed around by a tiny woman half his size? Which girl Quil is fantasizing about this week? Exactly how many muffins can Jake eat at one sitting? How Embry can fart the national anthem? Why Leah is such a bitch? How Seth can be so cute? Jared? ... no I've got nothing for Jared; he has no secrets. That's it for the pack secrets!
"No, she just wanted to know if you were okay," Leah pipes up. "She said something about you disappearing from her visions. Something must have changed in your life. I guess you would know what that means. She was just checking up and when I told her you were alive, she left again. She didn't want you to know she was here." Leah shrugged "If she did, she would have just knocked on your door."
So Alice has visions of the future? And Bella disappeared from them when she came to me. If she was going to leave me, she'd have popped back into Alice's visions? Fuck me, that means that Bella is mine for ever and ever amen. I feel good in a 'some big part of my fucked up life is okay' way.
Uh oh; I can feel waves of anger coming off my girl. Start running guys. Run; seriously.
"My god," she starts, "And in all this no-one ever had the courtesy to ask ME!" her voice is rising. "Do you seriously think I would betray the pack to the Cullens? They left me. Besides if Edward came back there would be no problem. He can read freaking minds! I wouldn't need to tell him a thing; he could just pick it all out of your head. Probably bigger secrets than I have ever known too."
Yeah I for one, do not want to know why Embry farts that much.
"Do you have any idea how much pain you have put Paul and me through?" She is going to cry now. "I thought you were my friends…" she let out a strangled sob. Yep, here come the tears. My girl always gets angry and then cries. Adorable; fuck, am I back to that? Must be all the hits to the head.
C'mon baby hold it together. And please get me off the ground.
"Jake, I'm so sorry ...I don't..." You don't what? Don't love him? Don't understand why he didn't imprint on you? Don't understand why you are with me? Maybe she had better not finish that sentence.
"...go home. I just can't deal with you right now. Embry and Quil, help get Paul into the house so Sue can bandage him. I will stay and so help me, if I see a single pack member around this house I will shoot them."
No-one argues with her. Fuck are you kidding, I am going to try really hard not to ever argue with this woman.