Warning: Slightly depressing.

-x

Diane POV

I missed a rabbit on the way back. It was too far away, but I shot at it anyway. When you're that high up, though, it takes a lot more than a missed kill to get you down. For the first time, though, I was lucky enough to bag one of the fluffy brown hens that I often noticed at the base of trees, and camouflaged in the bushes.

The bird would be a welcome addition to our lunch. In school, we learned about a thing called 'rabbit poisoning' where, after weeks of subsisting off only rabbits, hunters died of fat and vitamin deficiencies brought on by the lean meat.

Hetcher would probably ask why I had strayed from the usual game. I was relieved to have an answer for him. Maybe I could make him laugh.

What snapped me out of my thoughts was an ominous rumble, and the stirring of my senses. Not only was the earth, not far from me, strangely moving, but someone was nearby. Someone I didn't know.

I began to hurry back, moving quickly through the brush, closer and closer to the cave. It was not yet in view, but I could tell that the groaning of rock was coming from it's direction.

Changing pace entirely, I began to run, the sound growing louder and more violent with each moment, my feeling of unease multiplying. I could have sworn I heard a strangled cry, one I could nearly identify.

I willed the island to be smaller. I needed to know that I was okay, that we were okay, that the noises meant nothing.

Just as suddenly, the churning, rumbling, pitching cacophony stopped. I hadn't realized just how loud it was. In the silence, though, the sound of something smaller than me, someone distinctly human, was obvious.

Silence didn't last long enough. A cannon blast sounded, directly above me. Without knowing why, I began to run in earnest. The strange, blanketing quiet that had returned felt so terribly wrong, so empty. I pushed through the last stand of trees separating myself from the cave, from the safety I felt so sure awaited me.

No. No, no, no.

I wanted to scream. I had to scream. But my voice was gone. So was the cave.

Gone. Collapsed, a more eloquent person than myself might say.

I wouldn't let it be gone. It couldn't happen. I pitched forward, tossing back my bow, trying to lift just one rock. I had to undo it. I had to undo the terrible thing before me. It couldn't be over. Nothing could be over. No.

One rock. The next was heavier. So much heavier. I was probably crying. I couldn't move it. I wasn't strong enough. No.

He wasn't gone. I wasn't alone. No Gamemaker would do it, they wouldn't dare. We were so perfect, even when we weren't.

Who was it, then? Who was responsible? Who but me?

My cheeks felt wet, and sticky. I couldn't stop. Not when it was my fault that it had started. Not when there was no one else to blame. No one left to blame.

Hetcher was dead. I couldn't bring him back, no matter how hard I blinked, how hard I scrabbled at the terrible, terrible monument that was all he had left. No matter how hard I wished that I had done anything different.

No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't fully blame myself. Someone had to be at fault. Someone I could find, someone I could kill. I had to do something, no matter how stupid, or rash, or insane. I needed to find that mysterious presence, the one that hadn't saved him, the one that didn't even try.

I wiped my sodden face with the sleeve of my shirt, knowing exactly what I had to do. I had to find Kali. I had to kill her.

Hetcher deserved that much.

Carden POV

Everything got really quiet, after the creepy rumbling and the cannon. Even though it was only late afternoon, the wind stopped rustling through the stand of trees, and it got cold.

The sleeping bag helped way more than I had been used to, and even though it was paper-thin, I snuggled into it as best as I could. I wanted to know who had died, but I didn't, at the same time. What if it was Diane? What if it was Hetcher?

…What if it wasn't Kali?

I wanted to got to sleep so badly, but what if I missed the anthem? I couldn't afford to do that again.

It's really hard to go to sleep with so much light from the sun, and so many 'what ifs' in your mind.

Stretching in my sleeping bag for the hundredth time, I had a strange thought. I was in the final three, something I had never really expected.

I hadn't had to kill anyone, but I'd watched twenty-one people, all kids, die. I'd seen Paris fall to an arrow. Royce had been killed, right in front of me.

Kali was still alive. Probably. Soren wasn't, though, but I didn't quite know why.

Lecia could have died in the bloodbath, right? Her district partner did, too. Vance, I think it was.

Maren and Actassi had been slaughtered by Kali, no doubt violently.

Dell had been run through by Paris, and Bond had just… died. I didn't know how, and I didn't want to.

Esther had been killed by Franz, for some sick idea of revenge. Franz had definitely died, but I didn't know the culprit.

Glade was dead. Kali killed her. I was alive, though, somehow.

Twyla had her face smashed in. It still made me shiver to think how she had died, though I couldn't cry for someone who had been so mean to Sherman. Sherman had died, somehow. I didn't really know about him, either.

Diane was probably okay, but I couldn't know for sure. Wilder had just stood on his platform, and Bond had snapped his neck.

Hypatia was dead. And I could never, ever forget that she was. I would never let her go. Antiphon, though, had been stabbed really hard by Royce. He was definitely dead, which was sad. He tried to ally with us, but Hypatia and Franz had thought he was lying about wanting to keep us safe.

Anona was dead. Maren killed her. Spencer was dead, too, but after we left the island. He had run like a coward.

Jenae had died when she ran to the Cornucopia. She wasn't very fast, and Kali got her. Hetcher might be okay. I hoped he was.

All the names took me a long time to remember. The sky was getting dark, and the air was getting even colder. My little sleeping bag kept me warm enough, though.

A little silver parcel drifted down from the sky, landing near me. My stomach growled. I hadn't realized how hunger I was.

Tentatively, I reached out and scooped it up. It was much warmer than the surrounding air, but not too hot, either. Inside was a single fruit, kind of a warm orangey color. It was fuzzy to the touch, and I couldn't stop stroking it.

I wished that I had someone who could explain what it was, or what I should do with it. Maybe I could find Diane and Hetcher, and they could help me. Or maybe they wouldn't.

Franz had seemed nice-ish before the arena. How could I be sure that my two other friends hadn't changed, too?

Just as I closed my eyes, the anthem started. I groaned, opening my eyes to the startling light and brushing away a few mosquitoes.

A wholly unexpected picture popped up. Hetcher, staring with something between a grin and a vacant expression. I felt my heart drop into my stomach. How was Diane taking it? There was no way it was her who did it. I can tell when someone likes someone else as much as she liked Hetcher. Kali…

The night felt even colder, and the music ended. All the light flickered off, and I felt even smaller. Even more scared. If someone as big and strong as Hetcher couldn't beat Kali, who was I kidding? I wouldn't have a chance!

I was too tired not to close my eyes. On that eighteenth night, I drifted away into sleep, wishing I was anywhere else in the world.

Anywhere but here.

Actassi POV

Even through the shuddering tarantella that the earth had danced in the afternoon, even through the cannon blast that signaled Hetcher's death and my inclusion in the final three, I had kept moving. Slowly, painfully, growing dirtier and dirtier as I dragged myself through the grimy remnants of the pond scum.

The night, though, and my proximity to the island itself finally allowed me to slow, pause, stop. I could sleep, as best one can when covered in… stuff. I itched all over, and wanted very few things more than a hot shower. In order, those things were: a good meal, a cold drink of water, and a long sleep.

It was only possible for me to perhaps achieve the last one, but my thoughts, the sounds of the night, and the itching, scabbing pain still clinging to my skin kept me awake. Sleep was far away. The footsteps, (were they my imagination?) the daunting hill sloping up only a few feet from where I lay, and the uncertainties of the day blanketed me in it's place.

Mercifully, I felt myself curl into a slightly more comfortable place. My breathing once again steadied, and my eyes drooped closed, a testament to how truly tired I was. Noises around me dulled, even the crickets, once so loud, were muffled.

Before my eyes could close, though, a hiss behind me jarred my consciousness back into reality.

"You!"

I felt her gaze on my forehead before I saw it, but the pale crescent of a moon allowed for very little visibility. What I could see were her eyes, refracting the waning light in a steady glare.

Diane. But why was she so upset? In her expression, I saw more Kali than Carden. She was not quite human. The arena had changed her, like us all. I couldn't guess at how little I looked like the terrified boy who left District Four.

"You could say that," I rasped, my first speech in nearly a week. "Who is me?"

She seemed to growl under her breath, and I shrunk back even more. The situation was dangerous. I had more than likely just made it worse, and I didn't have the voice to remedy my mistake.

"Murderer."

It was what I had expected, all along. She knew about what I had done. She knew that I had killed Kali, that I had stood back and let Maren die. Karma.

"No," I tried to say, but it sounded like I had laughed. "No!"

"Shut up. You killed him! It wasn't me, it was you!"

But I hadn't killed any hims! I had never meant to hurt anybody! The words tumbled out before I could stop them.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Please, just let me get up. Let me explain. I didn't want to kill them! I didn't try to kill them!"

She tilted her head, trying to understand what I had said.

"The arena's been hard on you," she said, wrinkling her brow. "It's been hard on all of us."

Her expression changed.

"But that's no reason…"

I had scrambled to my knees, though all of my joints protested. Who was she talking to?

I coughed, betraying myself as she looked down, her eyes not level with mine. I winced at the intensity in her stare.

"Run, if you're going to. Or fight. Don't just stand there. Don't just give up! Do something! Anything!"

She was nearly screaming, and I shrunk back. I wasn't running because I had nowhere to run. I wasn't fighting because I didn't have any strength left, even to stand.

"Do something!" she shrieked. "I'm giving you a chance. You didn't give him a chance. Please don't make me kill you, please…"

I toppled over, my muscles giving out. She was crazy, raving. I wasn't much better, lying in a crumpled heap at her feet.

"Do something!" she repeated. "Do it! Kill me like you killed him!"

The tears on her face surprised me. She shouldn't be crying. She had everything she needed to win. She could go home, just with one more person. I braced myself, knowing what she would do. What I would do, were our placed reversed.

Diane was hysterical.

"I don't care! I don't care anymore! Just GO AWAY!"

We were both at the end. All I could hope for was that she would make it quick. I hadn't seen a weapon in her hands, but I knew there was one there. A short, broad sword, as I saw in a glimmer of moonlight. The clouds parted, momentarily, bringing back a little visibility. I wished for them to stay as they were, so that I could see my end.

"I said to go away!" she cried, raising the sword so that it glinted in the moonlight.

"I can't!" I rasped, trying to roll to the side.

With death so inevitable, I felt a strange compulsion to live. I didn't want to die. There was so much I could do. So many people I had never met. And I knew what was waiting for me. I knew where murderers went.

"Don't…" I muttered feebly, too weak to be heard anymore.

It was too cold to think, for either of us. In those moments, her sword hung in the air above me, the blade of the guillotine about to fall. I saw my own terror in her eyes, but it turned, too fast, to determination.

She shook her head, as if to clear any discordant thoughts from her mind.

"Then I guess it's settled."

Much faster than I had thought it would be, the arc of steel flashed down towards me.

I would like to say that I had a noble last moment, that I thought of my parents and how sorry I was for leaving them. Maybe that I realized just what these games had done to us. I would like to say that I forgave Diane.

People don't work that way, though. We are not creatures of nobility, or at least, I'm not.

Instead, my thoughts centered on a soft, fast repetition.

Please don't, please don't, please don't...

The cold air grew more intense, and a chill racked my body, starting at my heart, racing through my bloodstream. It hurt, the freezing, but it numbed me.

I must have slipped off at some point, up, up, higher than I could have imagined. The gelidity faded into a pleasant warmth.

I didn't even hear my own cannon.

Diane POV

She just lay there. Didn't move. The cannon definitely blasted, but I was scared to touch her. Terrified to believe that it was over.

After what felt like an eternity, I let myself lean over her, testing to see if the breath had really stopped. It had.

Was this what revenge felt like? The desperate need to run, to hide from what you've done? The need to make them alive again, just so that your hands will feel clean?

I brushed some silt off Kali's face with unintentional kindness. She would never have afforded me the same. My hand stopped.

Kali hadn't had bangs.

The eyes were wrong, and the face was softer, more human. She wasn't alive, after all.

This boy, this human being who I had killed, wasn't either.

Oh God.

What have I done?

-x

Oh my goodness. I tried so hard to make myself cry, and it didn't work!

Thanks are afforded to the following: Pen, Mel, Ninjane, Katie, Merc, Gill, Maren, and Genius Playlist.

I'm sorry for those of you who liked Actassi. The Gamemakers just had it in for him.