10. Déjà vu

"Talk?" The Fallen's tone was full of sarcasm. He looked at Michael. "Do you actually think I'm like the villain in some idiotic human movie? That I'm gonna stand here and tell you all about my plans? Oh, I'm almost hurt that you could underestimate me so much, brother."

"I thought you wanted to talk. Why else would you have come?" Michael replied calmly. "You weren't really expecting to kill me or Gabriel just like that, were you, brother? Because if you were, my so-called 'underestimation' is pretty accurate."

"I can see you're bleeding, Michael. Hell, I can even smell it; such a satisfying sensation… once again." He gave a short, harsh laugh. "Not actually my doing, but still, such a pleasant thought."

"It's just a scratch." Michael was looking not at the possessed man but at El. He saw a flicker in her eyes and her lips tightening, but her face retained its same cold, blank look.

"Maybe, for now. I'll see what I can do about that, though, and…"

"Bored now," El interrupted him suddenly. "Why don't you skip all this 'you're gonna die' bullshit and tell us what you really want?"

"Can't wait to get rid of me, lover, and have a nice little chitchat with your dearest Michael?" In spite of his mocking tone she suspected he was really agitated, but he controlled his voice quickly enough that when he spoke again he sounded merely sarcastic. "It's pretty obvious, actually. I want back what used to be mine."

At that very moment he surged into sudden movement, shoving El from him, rolling over immediately and attempting to jump to his feet. – Jeep by himself could never have done something like that. – Michael's finger was about to pull the trigger, but El cried "No!" and tripped Jeep's body at the ankle so that he fell down, this time onto his back; it took her only an instant to throw herself on top on him again.

"Oh, do that again, please, Gab… it feels so good." There was obvious mockery in his tone, and yet not only that. There was something… something else. He was staring at her intently with some sort of urge, and to see that look on Jeep's face was truly disturbing.

She thrust her gun-barrel right against his neck. "Does that feel good too? Tell me, brother, do you really think this stupid act of yours is actually gonna get to me at all, after everything you've done? Let me give you a clue: no, so drop it. I'm getting kinda tired of this shit. So let's get down to business, if there is any business. Otherwise, bye-bye, and don't bother coming back."

He gave her a curious look. "You've changed, Gabriel, a lot. But I don't mind, that's fine by me. In fact, it makes things even more interesting."

"You heard her." Michael's voice was shaking with anger. "Say what you want to say and then go back where you belong. You're a disgrace to us and you're a disgrace even to the memory of what we had long ago."

"Speaking of memories… tell me, Michael, how did it feel when the very one whom you loved so much was killing you, huh? When he was standing beside your dying body and looking at you as if you meant nothing to him, as if you weren't even worthy of existence, just because you'd dared for once to ignore Daddy's orders! Does that situation sound familiar? Does it ring any bells?" His voice had grown louder and louder until in the end he was almost shouting, and then he turned to El. "And you… you disappointed me so fucking much. Turned out you were actually capable of killing Michael, and that I would never have expected. It was quite a show, I can tell you. I almost felt sorry for him… oops, no, I didn't, that was the best day of my Hell-existence. You were so close to me then, after all that had happened - I felt it, your anger, your incomprehension, your doubts in Him - that you only needed to take one more step, and what the fuck did you do instead? Oh, you followed his lead and took his place… which is really pathetic; you chose him over me, again, and that kinda hurts, lover."

"It wasn't about you or him," El said dryly. "I failed our Father and I paid the price. So did you. But unlike you, I went on to do the right thing, considering that you had disappointed of my actions, and I'm glad."

"Open your fucking eyes!" Lucifer shouted. "He sent you to kill your beloved Michael and execute an innocent child, and when you had managed the first task and were about to do the second, He let Michael be reborn and sent him to stop you from accomplishing the mission He had given you. So what exactly does He have to do to you, for you to start thinking for yourself and to throw away that blind fucking belief in Him? Don't you ever learn, Gabriel?"

"I've learnt a lot more than I ever wanted, thanks to you, brother," she said coldly, a slight note of bitterness in her voice. "But that doesn't matter now. What I really want to learn is, why you are here, now? How is it possible?"

"Why don't you ask him?" Lucifer laughed, looking at Michael. "I bet you would love the answer, and I'm eager to hear you two having that conversation. But, as you were always my dearest, I'll tell you this: it's my turn to make a move in the game."

"You think this is some fucking game?"

"I know this is some fucking game, and I'm quite aware of the rules, unlike you, Gab. Seems to me like Daddy didn't even bother to let you into them before He set you at the chessboard; He used all of you like pawns. How disrespectful of Him! But that's His way. Although, of course, He made an exception for our dear brother, as He always did."

"Gabriel, don't listen to him. That's not how… " Michael was beginning, but Lucifer interrupted him.

"Please, let me finish, because that's precisely how it was. I defied His whims, and I was punished. You do the exact same thing and what do we see? You're the favorite. Poor Gab's is the hardest case, punished for obeying His will."

"It's okay, Michael." El managed a small smile, although it was clear from her eyes that the Fallen's words had hurt her. "I know him too well not to interpret his words correctly."

Then she stared into the face of the possessed man and said in an unexpectedly soft voice, "He still loves you, you know. After all you've done to all of us… He still does. And you love Him, no matter how desperately you're trying to deny it. I can feel it. Defy your pride and ask for His forgiveness."

"Well, love can be such a bitch. Right, Gab?"

"Gabriel's right," Michael said. "It's difficult for me to understand, but it's true; He still loves you, despite all the ruination you've caused. Listen to Gab, just for once. There must be another way."

"I believe I have a better plan." Lucifer's voice was cold and confident. "And there is no other way."

Michael and El exchanged a glance; this was a phrase that brought with it very painful memories.

xxx

They stood facing each other: an archangel with huge black wings, holding a large mace in his hand, staring at the lean figure of a man with his head lowered, carrying a submachine gun.

The man raised his eyes. "I knew he'd send you, Gabriel. You were always so eager to please him."

Did he understand what that meant to Gabriel, had he remembered? Gabriel couldn't be sure - they hadn't spoken of it for a thousand years - but if he had, the words were truly cruel. Gabriel didn't allow his pain to cloud his judgment, though; he was on a mission and his orders were clear, so there was only a slight trace of emotion – anger – in his voice when he answered.

"Unlike you. The rebellious son."

The man's eyes widened and he raised his head as if he didn't believe what he had just heard. He stared at Gabriel intently, but couldn't read anything from his face except the slightest hint of sorrow.

The archangel shook his head as if to dispel his thoughts, and added in a matter-of-fact tone, "Your wings. They would have helped you now."

"To not feel that burden is a dream," the man replied, calmly and confidently.

Gabriel restrained a sigh. He had always been like that, not really giving much thought for himself, and that had been fine, because that was how they were supposed to be, how they'd been created. Yeah, it had been fine until now, when his concern for others – humans, humans yet again, damn them – brought them here, brought up those memories Gabriel had tried so hard to avoid. When he spoke again his voice was trembling, and he hated that as much as he hated the words: "You think you can defy Him and not pay the price?"

The man started to approach him slowly. "The child lives. It doesn't matter what happens to me." He reached Gabriel, and they stood facing each other, so close that they could almost feel each other's body heat.

Gabriel was tempted to exclaim – 'Does it matter to you what'll happen to me after I'm forced to stop you?' - but managed to control himself. Instead, with an air of foreboding, he said, "Yours is a fool's sacrifice, Michael. You can help them run, but they won't escape. Neither will you, my brother."

xxx

Michael looked at his brother's face, so cold, so blank, not a trace of warmth even in his beautiful eyes. It was so painful, because in spite of this whole horrible situation he couldn't stop loving him, and even if he could he wouldn't.

He wanted so badly for Gabriel to understand him, he wanted him by his side, for Michael was sure that he was doing the right thing in trying to give mankind a chance of survival. But he didn't know how to explain that to Gabriel. - They brought this judgement upon themselves. - They are just lost. - And when he heard his last words he began to fear that no words could ever convince him. And he said simply, "I'm not running anymore."

Gabriel blinked, and suddenly Michael no longer saw a cold-blooded warrior, the very one who had been His hand of chastisement for centuries; he saw the Gabriel from the past, before the world had been turned upside-down. He saw his little brother, confused, scared, in pain, and this time it was he, Michael, who had caused it.

Without thinking he raised his hand and touched Gabriel's cheek gently. Then, trying to make his voice as convincing as he could, he said, "That's enough. There's another way."

And just for a couple of moments he believed he'd managed it; Gabriel was hesitating, obviously unsure what to do, his eyes full of unshed tears. He squeezed Michael's hand as if he were afraid that if he let him go he would disappear.

What happened next, then, was more than unexpected. He raised his head and said in a low, confident voice, "There is no other way." Then he thrust Michael away harshly.

And Michael knew only too well what that meant.