AN: Hey! Thanks for all the reviews, guys! I really appreciate them!
Okay, so you guys all remember the Dan/Elliot storyline of season four? Yeah? Well, in the universe of this story, that NEVER happened. There's one main reason for it: I hated that storyline. With a passion. That's why I've chosen to ignore it completely. I just really couldn't stand it.
Regardless, I hope you like this chapter! :)
"I know it's only the third time we've been down there and it's really just an empty shell that we still need to wear hard hats in," Elliot says, as she shuffles into the apartment, carrying a couple of bags, "but I love the new house. I really do."
"Told ya you would. And now we have a time for moving."
After going down to the new house, Elliot and I went food shopping. Or at least that was the original plan. We spent more time stopping off other places to look at things that we could put in the new house.
"Yep. In twelve weeks it's out of here and into our house."
I happily sigh. "Twelve weeks… which takes us to…"
Elliot's eyes move from side to side as she does the math in her head. "Three weeks before the baby's due. Okay, not a great time to be moving house, but what the hell."
In the space of just a few weeks, it seems like so much has moved on. I bought us a house. That's pretty self-explanatory. Elliot handed her notice in to Kelso saying that she would be leaving Sacred Heart and medicine end of May (this is March), to which he was not too pleased. But who cares. And, Alyssa started speaking to her dad again. I'm sure Elliot would agree with me when I say that despite everything, Alyssa seems more relaxed and happier within herself now. Even though she didn't say it, you could always tell that something was bothering her, and it seems to have eased now that she's speaking with her dad again. Things move along so quickly.
"Did you ever think we'd be here?" I ask Elliot. "Buying a house together and having a baby?"
"Honestly?" Elliot says, raising an eyebrow. "Honestly no. But I wouldn't have it any other way." As she unpacks the shopping, Elliot glances around the room. "You know there's a lot of crap in this apartment I should really get rid of before moving.
"I know what you mean. There are so many things I have that I can't remember where I got them or why I have them."
I'm walking out of the kitchen when my cell phone starts ringing. I take it out of my pocket and notice that it is my voicemail calling. When did someone call me? I answer.
"You have one new message."
The next voice is one I recognise. All too well.
"Hey, Little Brother."
That's right. It's Dan.
"By the by, my buddy Scott told me about this awesome poker tournament that was happening down your way so I decided to drive down there. Thought I could maybe win a good buck. Maybe a beautiful woman. And then I remembered I don't know how to play poker. But I'm already most of the way down there. Anyhoo, long story short: I'll be at Sacred Heart tomorrow morning. Toodles!"
I walk back into the kitchen slowly. "We have a problem."
Elliot looks at me wordlessly.
"Dan is coming to town this weekend, and he doesn't know anything."
"Nothing?"
"Not. A. Thing."
Elliot nods. "This should be fun then."
It's been a little over three weeks since I started speaking to my dad again. I'm really glad I did it and I'm glad we're speaking now. But I have to say, that first re-meeting was weird…
Alyssa walks through to her dad's living room, obviously still nervous. She tightly clutches at the sleeves of her sweater. She looks around the room and sees that it is plainly decorated. But what is most noticeable is the amount of photos of her younger self that are displayed around the room. Some she recognises, some she doesn't.
Brian Reid walks through from the kitchen a minute or two later, carrying two glasses of juice. The one her gives to his daughter is apple and blackcurrant, which he knows is her favourite. At least it was when she was little.
Taking the glass of juice, Alyssa says, "Thanks."
There's an awkward silence in the room as each person sips at their juice, an action that is meant to stay off the speaking a little longer, because neither really knows what to say.
Alyssa clears the throat. "We had this team building day for seniors the other day. It was really pointless but I've never laughed so much in the space of seven hours ever."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. It was so funny. I was in a group with Kate and Michael and at one point, we had to compete against the other teams to build the tallest tower possible out of just paper and cellotape."
"I remember doing something like that at school." Brian smiles. "How did it go?"
"Not well. We managed to get it over the height of Kate, but literally ten seconds before it was going to be judged, the whole damn thing collapsed!"
"Typical, huh?"
"Yeah. So instead, we just started making paper airplanes and throwing them at other teams. Oh, and later on we had to do weird dance thing. One group ran to the drama department, stole cowboy hats and then did a dance to Hillbilly Rock, Hillbilly Roll. Funniest thing you will ever see. Somebody recorded it and put it on Facebook."
"What did you guys do?"
"Our dance was lame," Alyssa rolls her eyes. "Honestly, we tried doing an original version of YMCA. Epic fail."
For another two hours the conversation continues like that – nothing of great importance is ever spoken off.
Alyssa has to leave at 8.30. Brian follows her to the door.
"This was fun," Alyssa says.
"It was. And you're welcome over anytime."
Alyssa nods. "I guess I'll see you later then." She walks towards the door but pauses, before turning back and hugging her dad. "I missed you, Dad."
Brian hugs her back. "I missed you too, honey."
We still haven't spoken about anything. Like, why he thought it was a good idea not to tell me what was going on or why he never seemed to have any time for me when I was a kid or why he and my mom divorced. In fact, neither of us has even acknowledged the fact that we were ever not talking. Because we're talking now, which is the important thing.
At school, if we're ever going to be handed anything out, Friday morning registration is traditionally when it'll be handed out. This morning it was report cards. Everybody was opening them in registration, even though the envelopes are addressed are always addressed to parents. Or, in my case, my aunt. She is my main carer, after all. And on top of the opening them ourselves ritual, we also have the tradition of our friends reading them too. Right now, Kate is reading mine.
"Hey, do you think if I went downstairs and asked the office staff really nicely, they'd maybe print off another report for me?"
"Probably," Kate answers. "They give some people two if their parents are divorced. Why?"
"Well, because it's a good report –"
"Good report," Kate scoffs. "English: A. Maths: A. Chemistry: A+. Biology A+. Spanish: A+. Although that's hardly surprising given that it's your second language. Physics –"
"Yeah I get it. The point is, of course I want my aunt to get the report. But I think it'd be nice if my dad could get one too because I'd really like him to see how I'm getting on. So do you think the office would give me another one?"
"I think they probably would. And if not, just bribe them with chocolate biscuits."
"Have you done that before?"
"Lys," Kate says, "everybody's done that before. By the way, have you heard anything back from colleges?"
"No," I sadly sigh. "You?"
"No. This wait is frustrating."
"Yup. Kay, I'm going to the office. Wish me luck."
"Oreos," Kate answers, as I'm leaving the study room. "The office staff loves Oreos."
On Saturday morning, Elliot and I go into work half an hour early. We're sitting at a table in the cafeteria.
Within a minute of us sitting down, Turk and Carla burst into the cafeteria.
"Seriously guys, what's the crisis meeting for?" Carla asks for the both of them as they sit down.
"Dan's coming to town," I respond. "This morning. And he doesn't know anything that has happened re: me and Elliot."
"Yeah, and we would like to keep it that way until we're out of the hospital," Elliot continues.
"So, if you see Dan at any point today, could you not tell him where either of us are? And if he's heading in any direction that we are, could you please page us and warn us?"
Carla shakes her head in disbelief. "God, you two are annoying sometimes."
"Yeah, we know, but will you just do this for us?"
"Fine," Turk answers. "I just don't get what the problem is."
"Because he's Dan: My annoying loser brother who tends bar for a living and still lives in my mom's attic." I answer. "Plus, he'll be pissed that in the few times I've spoken to him in the past eight months I've never told him that Elliot and I are together and that we're having a kid."
"Which reminds me," Carla pipes up, looking at Elliot, "when exactly are you planning on telling your family?"
Elliot blinks. "I gotta go."
Once Elliot is out of the cafeteria, Turk turns to Carla. "Ten bucks says that her family find out by showing up unexpectedly and she answers the door with a kid in her arms."
"Can I take that bet?"
Turk and Carla turn their heads suddenly, and look at me.
"What?"
In addition to the help of Turk and Carla in our plans, Elliot and I have decided if we are going to make the plan work, it would be best if we don't spend any time together in the hospital. That way, if Dan sees either of us at any point (knock on wood), he wouldn't necessarily put two and two together.
As it happens, I'm glancing out of the window of the doctor's lounge when I notice a car pulling into a parking spot in front of the hospital, right next to my car. I don't recognise the car or the make, but it looks pretty high-end. The person who steps out of the car, however, I do recognise.
The person walks towards the hospital entrance and takes off his expensive looking sunglasses, as I take my pager and send the same message to Turk, Carla and Elliot.
He's in the building. Operation Avoiding Dan is in progress.
It's another hour and a half before I see Turk in the cafeteria again. He walks in frantically, probably just back from an emergency surgery. That, or he's really hungry.
"Hey, SCB!" I happily greet Turk, as he steps towards my table. "Aren't you going to get something to eat?"
"No, I'm not here for food." He speaks quickly, while looking around the room. "Look, the plan was going well, but something has gone really awry."
"What?"
"Dan may have pissed off Dr Cox."
"Uh-oh. What has he done?"
"Well…"
Dan looks around for his brother on the second floor, but doesn't see him. However, he does see someone he recognises. With a grin on his face, he walks over. "Long time no see, Coxxie!"
Instantly recognising the voice, Dr Cox cringes. "Dan," he scathes. "To what do I owe this displeasure?"
"Lighten up, Coxsmith. Try pulling your panties out of your ass. You might feel better. I'm just here to find my little bro. Have you seen Johnny?"
Clutching a chart to his chest with one arm, Dr Cox rubs his nose with the other. "No, n-n-n-no. I haven't seen Sandra nor do I ever want to see Sandra."
"Oh, girls' name," Dan sarcastically responds. "Scary."
"I refused to be judged by a childish idiot who at over thirty years old still needs his mother to potty train him. Why don't you go and look for Melinda yourself? She should be fairly easy to spot. She's the one in the skirt."
"You know what Coxaroonie? I'm going to stay with you until I see my brother. How 'bout that?"
Dr Cox cringes. "Oh dear god." He walks away, but Dan follows him.
"And to make it worse," Turk continues. "Dr Cox is in a horrible mood. Mr Corman is back."
Let me explain: Every hospital has one hypochondriac who visits on a regular basis, claiming to have contracted some tropical illness. Mr Corman is Sacred Heart's. Things had been quiet on the hypochondriac front for a while after Mr Corman was diagnosed with leukaemia, but it seems that he is back. And on the worst possible day.
"That can't be good."
Turk shakes his head. "It's not. And now Cox is after your blood. He wants to kill you. And if he can't get you, then he's happy to settle for killing Elliot, whichever one of you he sees first. Moral of the story: As well as Dan, you and Elliot need to avoid Dr Cox at all costs if either of you want to make it to the end of your shifts." Turk exhales, his sigh heavy. "Good luck, Vanilla Bear."
"I hope you see you again, man."
Turk and I suddenly hug.
"Uh… dude…" Turk nervously says. "The entire cafeteria is looking at us. Get off me, man."
The hug breaks, and glance round to notice everybody staring. When I turn back, Turk is gone. I sit back down to eat the rest of my food. As I do so, I write a message to Elliot, warning her about Cox. But before I get a chance to complete the message, another one comes through. It's from Turk.
Cox and Dan are heading towards the cafeteria. Get out. Get out of there now!
Without a second's thought, I spring up from my seat and run towards the back door of the cafeteria, leaving behind my half-eaten and sandwich and everyone in the cafeteria staring at me once again.
Well, it's not them that'll get killed, is it?
"Hey, Lys, wait up!" I turn around and notice Michael quickly walking up the hospital corridor towards me. "Did you give your dad the report card?"
"Yeah. He was really pleased," I answer. "He really liked you, by the way."
On Friday after school, Michael came with me to have something to eat with my dad. It was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life thus far (the most terrifying thing being the time I got caught skiving PE in the eight grade) but after a few minutes it was actually quite nice. My dad didn't become the ogre that I sort of expected him to be. To be honest, I was expecting him to be ultra-overprotective, trying to make up for lost time or whatever. And I was really proud of Michael. I was expecting him to be awkward and almost passive-aggressive after everything, but he was really friendly and he and my dad chatted about the most random of topics from college applications to who's going to win the football season… or baseball… or basketball. I sort of zoned out at that point.
"Really?"
"Yeah," I answer. "Although I'm not surprised."
Michael sceptically looks at me.
"Okay, I kinda was. I thought he might've eaten you. And I was expecting you to try and kill him."
"I though about it. But I decided against it. It didn't seem worth it. Anyway, I better go," Michael says. "I'm on the tea and coffee delivering duty this morning."
"Oh yeah, I'm doing that in the afternoon."
"What are you doing now?"
"I have no idea," I respond. "I'll go find out."
"Okay. See you," Michael says. "Wait, you're still coming to my house later, right?"
"Yeah. I'll see you there."
As Michael walks in the opposite direction back down the corridor, I walk towards the main area where the nurses' station is. When I get there, I see Dr Cox, standing there, looking angry as all hell, with a dark-haired guy I don't recognise. Dr Cox is who I was going to ask what to do and there's no way I'm going to speak to him right now. I'll just hang back and wait for the unknown guy to go away.
This is taking a while…
Dr Cox looks up from whatever he is doing, and he looks directly at me. Then a really evil smirk creeps across his face.
Oh dear…
Dr Cox whistles and directs the guy to follow him, before walking towards me. "Well isn't this just your lucky day."
"My lucky day?" I nervously repeat.
"Yes. You see my good friend Dan here is looking for someone. And while I would just love to help him, you see, as a doctor I have a gazillion other more important things to be doing such as, I don't know, giving medicine to patients, resuscitating them when they decide they're better than oxygen, taking a stethoscope and listening to the noises my butt makes. So, you see, I don't have time to be taking care of annoying people who do nothing but stalk me and talk and blah blah blah. Which is why you are going to deal with him. Dan, you're not to leave this girl's side until you find who you're looking for. Alyssa, good luck."
Dr Cox begins to walk away as Dan walks towards me.
"You know," he says to me, "you look familiar."
"I could say the same of you. God, you must be really annoying to have pissed off Dr Cox like that."
"It's true. I am annoying. And I'm going to annoy you too now."
"Fantastic." That was sarcasm. I turn around and begin walking down the corridor. Maybe this idiot won't follow me.
"Oh this is gonna be fun." He follows me down the corridor.
Damn.
This guy has been following me for two hours and already I want to kill him. There was the twenty minutes where he questioned everything:
Alyssa is walking down the corridor, the dark-haired Dan following close behind. She looks relatively calm.
"Who's that?" Dan asked, pointing to a passing orderly.
"I don't know."
"What's that?"
"It's a cart of some kind. I don't know what it's for."
"Oh. Who do you look like?"
Sighing with slight annoyance, Alyssa answers, "I don't know."
"You don't know much, do you?"
And then there's the point where he would not stop singing:
"Lean on me," Dan warbles. "When you're not strong and I'll be your friend. I'll help you carry on. For it won't be long till I'm gonna need somebody to lean on. You just call on me, brother –"
"Shh!" Alyssa mutters. "You're scaring all the patients."
"They don't like the song?" Dan asks. "Okay, I'll sing something else. Aaand always look on the bright side of life. Always look on the light side of life. For life is quite absurd and death's the final word –"
Turning around quickly, Alyssa glares at him. "Seriously?"
"Was that not appropriate?"
"You're in the ICU!"
"Fine," Dan reluctantly sighs. "I know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves. I know a song that'll get on your nerves –"
"Shut. The Hell. Up."
As Alyssa continues to walk, her fists clenched, there's silence. And more silence. And some more silence. She relaxes. But just as she does…
"I KNOW A SONG THAT'LL GET ON YOUR NERVES, GET ON YOUR NERVES, GET ON YOUR NERVES. I KNOW A SONG THAT'LL GET ON YOUR NERVES, GET ON YOUR NERVES, GET ON YOUR NERVES. I KNOW A SONG THAT'LL GET ON YOUR NERVES…"
That went on for forty-two minutes, so you can see why I'm just an 'I know a' away from murdering him with my bare hands.
And you'll never guess what? He's still following me, even though I'm pushing a drinks' cart around going into patients' rooms.
"You know, for somebody who's supposedly looking for someone else, you don't seem to be doing very much looking."
Dan ignores me.
"Who are you looking for anyway?"
Dan grins. "A person?"
"A person?"
"Yeah."
"Which person?"
"Just a person."
I roll my eyes. "That's informative. You really are a manchild."
"And you're a pain in the ass," Dan retorts as he follows me into the room occupied by a Mr Corman.
I've been warned about Mr Corman. Well, through the grapevine warned. Kate told me that she heard a few staff members bitching about him. Which is completely inappropriate, but let's not swell on that. Apparently, Mr Corman is a raging hypochondriac who's been in this hospital so many times they considered letting him live here.
"Hello, Mr Corman," I say as I push the drinks cart into the room. "I'm Alyssa."
There's a fake exaggerated cough.
"And this is Dan," I say through gritted teeth. "My very talented and very annoying stalker."
"How you doing?" Dan waves.
Putting the best fake smile I can manage so as Mr Corman can't see my annoyance, I ask, "Can I get you something to drink?"
"No thank you," Mr Corman says. Then he lowers his eyebrows. "You look familiar."
Dan raises his hands. "Exactly what I've been saying all day."
"Have you been on cart duty before?" Mr Corman asks.
"Maybe," I sceptically say. I don't recognise Mr Corman. "Have you been in at any point in the last eight months?"
"No, kid," Mr Corman replies. "I only come in here once a year now. I used to be in here every few weeks, thinking I had some illness or other, but I don't do that anymore."
"Good for you. Are you sure you don't want anything to drink?"
"Yes, I'm sure." Mr Corman reaches for his TV remote and switches the TV on. It automatically goes on to what I can only assume is a kids' show playing the world's most annoying tune: The Birdie Song.
Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Dan grinning. "I love this song!"
"Of course you do."
Dan – the annoying creature that he is – starts dancing. And to make it worse, he's singing along to it.
I tiptoe out of the room, pulling the cart as quietly as I can, with just a shred of hope that Dan might not notice me leaving. I don't hear him behind me as I go up the corridor.
"Hey! Pain-In-The-Ass!"
Joy. I turn around. "What?"
Dan once again starts singing the Birdie Song. And he starts dancing up the corridor.
Somebody… please kill me."
It's into the afternoon now and I have successfully avoided Dan and Dr Cox. Only a few more hours until I can sign out. Which, of course, means that it is only a few more hours until I actually have to see Dan and explain everything. It's a win some/lose some situation.
I stopped by Mr Corman's room earlier on today. I'm surprised to say it, but he has actually changed. He is here just for a check-up; not claming to be ill. I guess the leukaemia really has changed him. Maybe that will calm Dr Cox down. Although, if he's dealing with my brother, probably not.
Walking down the corridor, I notice Elliot standing at the nurses' station. I glance around me, noting that the coast is clear, before walking towards her. "Hey."
"Hey," she replies. "I'd say the plan is going pretty well. Except for this." She gestures between the two of us.
"It's okay. They're not about. So for tonight, how we going to do this?"
Elliot thinks. "Do you want to speak to your brother first before everything else?"
"That's probably best. How about you drive home, I talk to Dan first and hopefully because I'm carless he'll give me a ride home and then we can explain everything. What do you think?"
"That'll be okay," Elliot answers. "We probably shouldn't hang around together for much longer. You never know when they're going to spring around the corner."
Elliot and I turn around, but we both jump back when we see someone standing directly in front of us.
"Holy crap, Turk!" Elliot shouts.
"Sorry, but you two are lousy at creating plans."
I raise an eyebrow. "What?"
"Dr Cox has pawned Dan off," Turk says, "on Alyssa."
"Crap."
"This might be okay," Elliot says.
"Huh?"
"Yeah. Alyssa doesn't know who Dan is. Dan doesn't know who Alyssa is. Hopefully neither will say anything that will give this whole thing away."
"They might not know who each other is right now," Turk interjects, "but when Alyssa finds out, she's gonna kill you too. He's currently trying to make her life a misery by trying to annoy her until she snaps and kills somebody. I wouldn't want to be either of you when she finds out."
"You know what we've got to do?" I say to Elliot.
"Avoid Dan, Dr Cox and Alyssa at all costs?"
"Yep."
Turk looks incredulously at us. "You two are hopeless."
Elliot shrugs. "We know."
Holy mother of god.
"Are you a professional stalker or something?" I rhetorically ask. "Seriously. Leave me alone, would ya?"
With that annoying grin that gets no less irritating the more you see it, Dan replies, "No. Remember what Coxxie said? I've to stay with you until I find who I'm looking for."
"Shouldn't you actually go and look for them?" I say, just stepping into the cafeteria. "Y'know, instead of pissing me off when I'm about to take break with my friend?"
"Nah, this is much more fun."
"Fantastic," I respond with so much sarcasm.
As I sit down at the same table as Kate– Dan choosing also to sit opposite me, next to Kate, poor girl – she gives Dan a confused look before looking to me.
"Alyssa," Kate beings, "who the hell's this? And why is he stealing the fries off my plate?"
"I'm Dan," he answers, mouth full of fries. "Because I'm hungry and they taste good."
"Then buy your own."
"But then they don't taste so good."
Kate, shaking her head incredulously, looks to me. "Oh my god."
"I know. This is the whiny annoying manchild I texted you about earlier."
"And she's the pain in the ass I texted my friend about earlier."
Kate, who I can tell is already really annoyed, speaks to Dan. "Could you keep it zipped for like… five minutes?"
"I'll think about that." Dan bobs his head from side to side, before smirking at Kate. "No."
"Are you kidding me?"
"This is what I've had to put up with all day," I scathingly explain. "And if I have to put up with him much longer, I'm going to snap and take out every damn person in this hospital, including myself."
"Violent much?" Dan asks.
Ignored. "Why are you eating lunch so late anyway?"
"Because I didn't have anything earlier and I'm really hungry now."
"Fair enough. Has Michael left already?"
"Yeah," Kate answers. "Ages ago."
"Damn."
"Who's Michael?" Dan asks. Then he looks to me. "You screwing him?"
I raise an eyebrow and glance to Kate. "Yes. Yes I am."
Kate's jaw drops. "What?"
"Can we continue this conversation later?" I say to Kate. "Once I'm rid of this asshole?"
"Oh, come on," Dan says, "I wanna hear the gossip."
"Yeah?" I ask, standing from my seat. "Well you're not gonna because I'm gonna find whoever the hell it is you're looking for. Move your butt. Kate, I'll talk to you later."
I begin to walk out of the cafeteria, and as per usual, Dan starts following me.
"Tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me." He says over and over and over and over (you get the idea?) again.
I will be so glad when I never have to see this asshole again.
Cowering in a supply closet isn't the best place to hide, I know that. But when you notice that your brother is just down the corridor, you don't really have many options. To its credit, this supply closet has kept me successfully hidden many a time during my years here.
I think my number might be up though, because the door is opening and someone is stepping in. I only look up once I've heard the door quickly closing again and see that the person who has entered is Elliot.
"Why are you hiding in the closet?"
"I saw Dan and Alyssa down the corridor and this was the best place to they gone?"
"Well, I didn't see them."
"Why are you hiding in here then?"
"I'm not. Carla told me you were in here. This is bad," Elliot mutters. "We are going to get killed by so many people."
"Our plan," pause, "sucked."
"What are we going to do?"
I glance around the supply closet. "We could just live here forever and hope that nobody ever notices us."
"Or we could go out and face the music," Elliot replies. "We got ourselves into this mess, so we better get ourselves out if it."
"I don't like that plan," I melodramatically whine. "In that plan we die."
"I'll text Alyssa and tell her to meet us down downstairs and save her from your brother. Come on." Elliot holds out her hand, which I take a hold of. "We can do this."
I follow her out of the supply closet.
"Tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me."
That is all I've heard for the last freaking ten minutes. "You're like a broken record. Change the goddamn tune!"
Dan shakes his head. "Not until you tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me."
"Lord love a duck…"
As I walk along the corridor, desperately trying to ignore the monotonous 'tell me' that I've been hearing for what feels like an eternity, my cell phone beeps in my pocket. God, it's probably Kate trying to get me to answer her questions now.
Oh, good, it's not. It's actually my aunt.
Hey, Could you meet me in the downstairs waiting room just now?
I could question why my aunt wants me to go to the downstairs waiting room, but to be honest, I'm more thankful.
"I need to go downstairs," I tell Dan.
"Why?"
"I don't know, but I can only hope it has something to do with getting rid of you." A grin then breaks out over my previously straight face.
I start walking quickly towards the stairwell, a little skip in my step.
We find Alyssa and Dan at the downstairs waiting room. Alyssa is sitting on one of the seats, her hands so scrunched up that it seems like she could punch something at any given moment, while Dan is dancing around to some commercial jingle.
"Okay, seriously?" Alyssa angrily says. "Could you be any less irritating?"
Dan, grinning and continuing to dance, replies. "You're a no fun, pain in the ass, you know that?"
Alyssa rolls her eyes. "Yes, and you're an annoying manchild. I thought we'd been over this."
"You know," I whisper to Elliot, "she'll have had to put up with that all afternoon."
Elliot nods. "We are bad people."
As Alyssa and Dan continue their task of trying to wind the other one up, Elliot and I step forward. By the time we're almost standing beside them, Dan turns around.
"Just the person I've been looking for all day." Dan grins at me. "And Elliot. Hey."
"Oh good," Alyssa dryly remarks. "Maybe you two can take him. Y'know, before I kill him."
While Alyssa was speaking, Dan was looking at Elliot. More specifically, looking at her stomach. "Elliot got fat," he comments.
"You really are stupid," Alyssa mutters, shaking her head.
Elliot looks at me. "Okay, I'm with Alyssa. I will kill him."
"She's pregnant, you moron," I say.
Pointing at Dan, Alyssa asks, "Seriously, who is this guy?"
"Alyssa," I begin, "that's my brother Dan. And Dan, the poor girl you've been torturing for hours is Elliot's niece Alyssa."
Dan and Alyssa look at each other, as if they're working things out in their heads. Almost simultaneously, a look of realisation watches over each of them. "Oh!"
"Yeah," I murmur. "I'm sorry you had to put up with each other. Actually, I'm more sorry to Alyssa."
"Can I leave now? Please?" Alyssa asks. " I said I'd go to Michael's like… two hours ago."
"Go," Elliot answers. "I'll see you later, okay?"
"See ya, pain in the ass!" Dan says.
"Later, manchild," Alyssa responds.
Once Alyssa is out of the area, Dan speaks to Elliot. "Do you see your niece a lot?"
"You could say that," Elliot answers. "She actually lives with us."
"Really?" Dan questions. "That must be – wait, 'us'?"
Elliot's eyes widen past their normal diameter. "Um…"
"You two are back together?"
"Yep."
"And you're having a baby?"
"Yeah," Elliot answers. "In about fourteen weeks."
Dan looks shocked. "That's something you could have told me earlier."
"Sorry about that," I answer. "Dan, could you wait here for half an hour or so, so we can finish up our shifts and then we'll explain everything to you?"
Dan is more serious than he was when we first got down here. "You know what, I've got a couple of things to get from my car. I'll meet you there."
As Elliot and I walk away in the opposite direction, I quietly say to her. "I guess that wasn't so bad."
When I walk out of the hospital, Dan is sitting on the trunk of his car. I go over and sit beside him. "Hey."
"Hey," Dan replies. "Where's Elliot?"
"She's still got a couple of patients to finish up with." I glance down at the car I'm sitting on. "You know, this is a sweet rental car."
"It's not a rental."
"What? How can you afford a car like this on a bartender's salary?"
"I don't tend bar anymore. I got my realtor's licence."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah. And I've been doing really well. All that practice of lying to you about who broke your bike has eventually paid off."
"You broke my bike?"
"It was twenty-five years ago, Johnny, get over it."
I pause. "Do you still live in Mom's attic?"
"Nah," Dan replies. "I moved out of there a year ago. Got my own place."
"Wow. You've got your life in order. I'm proud of you, Dan."
"What about you? You're gonna be a dad. You're going to have a kid. That's huge!"
"I know. I can't believe it myself sometimes."
"So, how long have you and Elliot been back together?"
"Just short of nine months."
Dan lowers his eyebrows. "Isn't she nearly six months pregnant?"
"That is correct. It was a surprise."
"I always knew you two would end up back together," Dan says. "Does Mom know?"
"Not yet," I answer. "I haven't told her."
"You should. She'd be really happy. And she could do with some good news. You should call her."
"I will, eventually. You know, I bought a house."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I wish I'd know before that you were a realtor now. Maybe you could have got me discount."
Dan laughs.
"I've been thinking a lot about Dad lately. There are things I wish I could ask him, you know, like how to handle this, and talk things out with him. I just wish I could ask him what he thought, you know?"
"Yeah," Dan sadly sighs. "Dad would proud of you, Johnny. I think Dad would have been proud of both of us."
"I hope so."
At this point, I see Elliot walking out of the hospital towards us. "We ready to go?" she asks when she reaches the car.
"Yeah," Dan answers. "Is it cool if I follow you guys? I don't know where I'm going."
"Sure," Elliot answers, just before she sits in the passenger seat of the car.
A second later, I sit in the driver's side and turn the key in the ignition to start the car.
"You alright?" Elliot asks me.
"Yeah," I answer. "I'm great."
I put the car into reverse and move out of the parking spot, before changing gear to drive away, Dan following close behind.
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